Hey guys! Sorry about the wait. Fanfiction was giving me trouble yesterday. Well, here's chapter 5, peoples. And there is a quote from an episode of Kim Possible, plus the names of three authors who I am not sure if they have wives or not. So... With that being said...

Disclaimer time! (like Doofenschmirtz when he sing-says "Backstory time!")

None of this is mine, peoples. I own... somw pieces of paper, a pencil or two, and some stuffed animals. (For example, my awesomely cool parents bought me a toy ringtailed lemur for my birthday!!!! Obviously his name is Julien...) Only my OCs belong to me.

Sooooo... Read-aaaaa Las Vegas! ... No wait. Read on!


Newbies

-a story about four penguins… plus an otter… plus four more penguins…-

Chapter 5: Gooey Love Mush. Sensitivity…?

Skipper and Kowalski played chess in the HQ with a walkie-talkie next to the board, not worrying about Shadow. They figured she could handle herself, but Rico and the girls had seemed pretty worried, so he sent them off to look for her. And… Private went just 'cause.

"I believe that would be checkmate, Skipper," Kowalski stated, smiling proudly and crossing his flippers.

"Blast," Skipper said. "We play again!"

--

"I'm not sure… if we're gonna find her…," Private wheezed, running after Ali.

"We have to, Private…! She's the one who got me tuh talk! We're best friends!"

"…Oh. Alright." The little penguin continued behind the taller she-penguin and both jumped into enclosure after enclosure, seeing no sign of the African she-penguin anywhere.

They asked all the animals if they had seen Shadow. Ali had even drawn a crude picture of Shadow to show to the others. It had only gotten her into a heated argument with a squirrel (over whether Shadow was a penguin or a rock with two leaves and a mop) which Private had to pull her away from. Soon, they reported back to HQ, Ali sulking for not being able to find her friend and Private sulking for not being able to cheer her up.

Once the chess game with the lead penguin and the intellectual penguin was over, Ali and Kowalski sat together, the penguin soothingly rubbing the she-penguin's back.

Skipper decided to watch tv with Private. For some reason, he enjoyed the soap opera that his younger teammate was viewing…

--

Cori, Des, and Rico searched the perimeter of the zoo. Rico sniffed around the wall for Shadow's distinct smell of Africa and shark. Des hunted in the bushes. Cori was scanning the ground from atop the wall.

All were finding nothing.

That is, until…

A black and white blur jumped out from a tree and attacked Cori, both toppling off the wall and onto the hard, unfeeling ground with two sickening cracks. Also, the walkie-talkie was shattered into many small, sharp pieces.

Cori gritted her beak in pain… "Sssss… Ah-hah-hah-hah-hah…!" …then began laughing uncontrollably.

"Ahhh…!" Shadow exclaimed in pain, holding her left foot.

"What is it?" Des asked.

"Pain… Ah-hah-hah…! Foot…! -snickers- it hurts so ba-hah-haaaaaad…! Hah-haaaah…!"

"Uh?" Rico queried, tilting his head in confusion at the laughing she-penguin.

"She laughs when she's in pain. Me, I just sit there and deal with it."

"Hey! I…! Ha-ha… I laugh when the pain's… -snickers- ex-croo-shee-ay-ti-hi-hiiing…!" She fell backwards. "Whoops! -giggles-"

Shadow rolls her eyes, then jumps onto her flippers. "Come on, you guys…!" she shouted, smirking as she walked away upside-down.

Rico looks to Des for an explanation. The most he gets is a large smile that doesn't help him at all. He rolled his eyes and waddled away after Shadow.

Since he was moving fast (AN: to catch up to Shadow, yeah! he'd need to be!), Des ran to reach the two.

Her severe case of the giggles subsiding, Cori opened her eyes and sat up from her position on her back. She looked around for her friends –and Shadow, but they were nowhere to be found. "Guys…?" she asked to the ground and air surrounding her. "Gu-uys…?! Guys! … Don't leave me…! … -snif- I don't like to be alo-ho-hoooone…!" She whimpered a couple times then listened again… … …only to be met by silence… … Suddenly… she spotted something of epic proportions! "… Ooh! An acorn!"

--

Back at HQ, Skipper and Private were enthralled in the touching scene on the television screen.

"-snif- Cahn you be-lieve they switched brains, Skippah…?"

"I know…! So… does this mean the wedding's off…?"

"Oh, great. Skip's become a softie," a voice said from behind the two.

Skipper and Private, wide-eyed, looked over their shoulders and saw Shadow crossing her flippers and being held bridal style by Rico.

"Uh… Well, I… What?! A leader can't show his emotions once in a while?!"

"Yeah. Sure. As long as that emotion is either strength, perseverance, or to-tal awesome-ness…!"

"… You do realize none of those were emotions. … Right?" asked Kowalski, the penguin who could give a definition of an emotion, but not a very good description.

"Meh," Shadow answered, shrugging her shoulders. "All eats the same."

"… Whaht?" asked Private.

"Rico, you can put me down now…"

"Uh! Uh!" Rico answered, shaking his head no to accentuate each 'uh!'"

"Shadow! You're okay!" Ali shouted happily, running to Shadow and giving her a large penguin hug (AN: that's right. penguin, not bear).

"Heh. Thanks…," Shadow smiled sincerely and lopsidedly.

Ali carefully placed Shadow in Rico's flippers again.

And then, out of the blue, a black, white, and green shape fell down the hatch and landed with a smack on the concrete ground of the penguins' 'inner sanctum'. The figure gasped for air.

Des carefully studied the black back of the form on the floor. Her eyes widened in realization as she exclaimed, "Cori! Is that you…?!"

"Sweet Australian earthworms!" exclaimed Skipper.

"I know. I'm not sure she's alright either…," Ali softly stated, looking at her wheezing friend.

"No, not her! Where's my walkie-talkie?!"

"Oh. That thing broke," Shadow said coolly. "You know, it's not very high-quality junk, is it?"

Skipper glared at her.

"… -GAAAAASP!- … -wheeze- … -GAASP!- … -wheeeeze…- The acorn… is safe… -GASP- Go on… without me…"

"Acorn? What—"

Des was cut off when a shaky flipper lifted an acorn.

"…Oh. That acorn." Des craned her neck (AN: a penguin is craning… teehee!) to see what the green was on her cousin. "Um… What's that…?"

"What's… -long, deep breath- What's what…?"

"That…," Des clarified, pointing to the green lump on her cousin's leg.

Cori looked down to where she was pointing. "Oh. … That." Having fully regained her breath, she answered. "That's the aloe leaf I had to utilize as both a bandage and antiseptic to secure my wound after resetting the fractured bone." She paused then sent a fierce glower to Shadow and Rico. "No thanks to you guys…!"

"Whatever. You did it yourself, didn't you? You're fine," Shadow said, waving her left flipper in dismissal.

"…Nyeh."

"…Cori…?" a soft she-penguin voice asked. "How did you get over the water…?"

"…" A grimace crept onto the face of Cori. "It involved two chimps, an otter, a T-shirt, a rock, three gumballs, fourteen plungers… and a pay phone…"

Eyebrows were raised throughout the room.

"…Don't ask…," Cori stated, closing her eyes and shaking her head.

"'Kay. We won't. And you can put me down now…!"

Rico contemplated this for a few seconds then nodded his head. He waddled over to the four beds he had carved out the day before and placed her in the one closest to the ground. He then regurgitated a pillow and a cordless hairdryer, drying the pillow and pushing it under Shadow's back so she could sit up.

The African she-penguin smiled gratefully at the penguin face hovering above her. "Thanks, Rico."

"Happy help," he rasped.

All was quiet.

… Until Skipper exclaimed, "Ah-hah! You just showed emotion!"

"Ah-ah-ah…! Happiness isn't the same as sissiness…!" Shadow smirked in response.

Skipper crossed his flippers and looked at the ground grudgingly.

"Don't worry," Cori smiled.

"She's like this all the time…!" Des grinned.

He looked between the two then declared skeptically, "… I'm not sure that's a good thing…"

The two she-penguins looked at each other, then back at the penguin leader, shrugging their shoulders at him.

"Suit your-self, Mr. Negative," Des said.

"We don't care," Cori said in her Julien-impression (it was quite good, actually. almost sounded just like him. … weird.).

Skipper burned holes in their backs (or at least tried to) as they walked away, but apparently they were wearing heat shields and didn't even turn around or wipe the smiles off their faces.

--

Since training wasn't an option (being that two team members were incapacitated and another was caring for one of the incapacitated teammates), the penguins decided to invite Marlene over for a movie.

Sadly, though, the movie was PG-13, meaning that Des, Cori, and Private (who were 12, 12, and 10 years old–respectively, of course) couldn't watch.

Ali cuddled up with Kowalski in the back row of the 'theater'. Shadow and Rico sat next to each other in the back row, holding flippers. Skipper and Marlene sat close to each other in the front row, but not too close.

"Cori. Pop me some popcorn, will ya?" Shadow asked, watching the previews intently.

"… Fine. 'T's'not like I got anything else to do…," Cori said, uninterested, getting up from the triangle made by her, Des, and Private on the side of HQ where the television screen couldn't be seen. She limped over to the kitchen part of the room. "Toss me the lighter," she said, her head buried in a box, looking for a bag of popcorn.

Shadow dug around in the dark brown feathers on her head then pulled out a lighter, tossing it to Cori.

Amazingly, the shorter she-penguin caught it without looking. "Thanks," she mumbled. "Ah-hah! Found it!"

"Shut-up!" the other injured she-penguin exclaimed. "The movie's starting!"

"Oh. Sorry."

And indeed it was.

\It started off in a chapel, with a minister announcing, "I now pronounce you husbands and wives! You may now kiss the brides."/

\The three men lifted the respective veils of their respective wives and planted full-on French kisses on them./

Shadow and Rico grimaced and held their stomachs as the others smiled slightly.

Private and Des decided to flop onto their backs and stare bored at the ceiling.

Cori was popping the popcorn with the lighter as the movie went on.

By this point… \The minister proclaimed, "I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Golding, Mr. and Mrs. Pelzer, and Mr. and Mrs. Morpurgo!" This was followed by cheering./

\The newlyweds run out of the church building and into an awaiting limo. They are seen chatting it up with their new spouses in the window of an airplane. An animated map shows up behind a picture of an airplane and red dots pop up, marking their path to an island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean./

\The plane lands and the three couples walk down the stairs and onto the white sand of the island, marveling in all its beauty. The people were led to their hotel room by a hunched over man with one large eye with a tiny pupil and a small eye with a large pupil./

\"This is your room…", the old man said, pushing open the door to a dusty old room./

\"Oh, why thank you," Mrs. Golding said, "Mr. …?"/

\"Wretcher."/

\"…Wretcher. … Right."/

\Mr. Morpurgo spoke up. "Are there any other tenants?"/

\"Oh, of course there are," Mr. Wretcher answered. "…But you wouldn't want to meet them…," he said ominously. "Well. Good ni-ight…," he sing-songed. He left with a smirk and closed the door behind him, leaving the couples creeped out./

\They all looked wide-eyed at their respective spouses./

\Menacing music played in the background as the word 'GOTCHA!' sprouted from one of the beds, growing until it filled the screen. The picture tunneled through the 'O' and soon a new scene was on-screen./

"Here's your popcorn," Cori said, tossing it to Shadow, who stuck out her flippers, her right 'palm' facing the bag and farther out than her left one which was parallel to the ground. (AN: it's easier to read this part first, then visualize it happening…) The bag whizzed by her left flipper (tearing open the bag) and hit her right flipper, which grasped it and set it in her lap. Shadow popped some popcorn into her mouth with her left flipper, smiling in satisfaction.

"You're wel! come!"

"Yeah, thanks, whatever, shutup, I'm try'n'a watch." -munch-

Cori hobbled over to Des and Private, falling flat on her back to Private's left, since the space on his right side was already taken by Des.

The movie continued playing and zombies began swarming around the couples on-screen.

Halfway through the movie, Cori, Des, and Private were falling asleep.

Corinne sighed.

"I feel left out…," Destiny stated.

"Right," Private agreed.

"…Wanna go on the computer?" Cori suggested.

"Sure," Des replied.

"Why not?" answered Private.

"…Wait. Do you guys even have a computer…?" Des queried.

"Um… no… But we can get Alice's from the office…!"

"Is it a desktop?" Des asked.

"Nah. I think she has a laptop, too."

"Yay!"

"Shutup, Cori!"

"…Nyeh," Cori said to Shadow. "Anyways, I think you two should go. I can toss Des over the wall!"

"Aw…"

"But how would thaht work? Then you wouldn't be able to throw her ovah to get bahck…," reasoned Private.

"… Huh. Y're right. Well, do you think you could handle this mission on your own, Private?"

"I… I guess so…"

"Great! So Private'll get the laptop!" Des exclaimed.

"SHUT-UP, CORI!"

Cori pouted as Des smirked.

--

Destiny and Corinne sat on the concrete floe, waiting for Private to return as the other penguins and she-penguins (plus Marlene) watched the movie.

Luckily, the three couldn't hear, let alone see the movie, for a heavy scene had come on. Everyone watching -except for Rico and Shadow- was sick to their stomachs. The two toughest penguins just widened their eyes, quickly glanced at each other, then looked back to the tv screen.

Ali gasped and curled up into Kowalski when the zombies burst in, ruining the Goldings' tender moment.

Shadow and Rico laughed when Mrs. Golding was turned into a zombie, Mr. Golding surrendering and also getting his brain eaten.

Marlene held onto Skipper at the scary parts, her short claws digging into his skin. He didn't bother acknowledging it, for he was too frightened by the movie to do more than blink and remind himself to breathe.

--

The zoo was closed for some reason, so no one was there to see a small penguin carrying a black laptop except for animals housed on the premises.

The two relaxing she-penguins sat up when they heard a voice from the other side of the wall say, "I'm gonna toss it ovah the wall! Catch it, guys!"

Cori turned to Des. "What'd he—Oof!" She was hit in the head with the black laptop and fell onto the ground.

"… Cori…?" Des asked, leaning over her cousin.

Private swam up to the floe and jumped out to see Cori on the ground with a glazed look in her eye. He put his flippers on the sides of his beak and said regrettably, "Did… Did I do thaht…?"

"Pizza, but it's not your french fries," Cori answered from her position on her back.

"… What?"

"No need to bake, I'm as propagandist as the next pigeon," the tallest bird of the three stated, standing up.

"Well, at least she got the bird pahrt right. K'wolski said he was a hamburgah…"

"Quel-as tu parlé?"

"…Oh no!" exclaimed Private. "It's gibberish!"

"Comment?"

"Nah, she's just speaking French," Des explained, then mumbled, "Show off…"

"Alors, j'ai écouté toi!"

"… I'm sorry, what?" Des asked.

Cori rolled her eyes and said under her breath, "Vous êtes bêtes…"

"… Yeah. Of course." Des grabbed her cousin's right flipper and led her into the base, followed by Private, who dropped the laptop down the hatch.

THOONK!

"Oops… My bahd. Did I do it agayn?"

Cori sat up and rubbed her head. "Ah… What happened…?"

Private jumped down and asked, "You don't remembah?"

"Uh… Non. J'ai oublié…"

"Ah! The gibberish is back!"

"No, it's not. And it's not gibberish, Private. It's French."

"Told yoooou…!" Des sing-songed.

"I just said 'I forgot' and you go all weird on me…?"

Private's eyes wandered to everywhere around him that wasn't Cori. "…Maybe…"

Corinne smiled and slapped his back as she said, "I like that."

"Ooh! … Yes… Al… Alright…"

"So let's crack this baby open and look up some stuff!" Des said.

"Yay!" Private and Cori whispered with excitement.

--

When the movie was finally over, Des, Cori, and Private were still surfing the web. Cori had 'Miki'ed the name 'Don DiMaggio' a million times, forgetting what movies and television shows he had been in every few minutes or so. Des had looked at videos on TooYube, mainly ones about puppet versions of young wizards or an Asian dude on medication. Private was 'Doogle'ing the word 'penguins'.

A link to the Central Park Zoo webcam popped up on the screen.

"Press it! Press it! Press it!" urged Des and Cori.

"…Alright, then." Private clicked on it, not reading the description under it that read 'Take a look at our unexpected winner for this month! Our Central Park zoo's very own Al…'.

The video popped up and a red-haired woman started singing and 'dancing'. The worst part was when she slapped her own… 'hind parts'…

"Ah! Not this again…!" Private exclaimed, covering his eyes with his flippers.

"Ee-hee-hee-heeeeeeew…!" Cori shouted, grimacing.

Des, shaking with disturbance, shakily asked, "Does… Does anyone know a good therapist…? 'Cause I think I'm gonna need one…"

… … … … Silence. … … … …

"Checkmate!"

"Darnit! How is it that you continue to conquer me in every game of chess…?" Kowalski asked.

"I don't know. … I guess I'm just good at it," Ali smirked slightly.

"Yes, your talents in the field of strategy seem to be quite exemplary," Kowalski complimented.

"Oh. Well… thank you," Ali replied, blushing. Her tall counterpart nodded curtly at this.

Cori unfroze before Des and Private. "…Let's… look at something else…" She maneuvered the cursor and clicked on a link that read 'Last month's winner!'.

Instantly, a video of Skipper began playing, although these weren't his usual actions. He seemed to be… dancing… And a rather… enticing one, at that…

"Oh… my gosh! Skipper!" Cori shouted, laughing.

"What is—Sweet breaded tilapia!" He had turned around to see what Corinne was talking about, and saw a video of himself doing his 'little dance', trying to stun his men. "Kowalski! I thought you told me they got rid of those cameras!"

"I… guess I missed one, Skipper…"

"It burns…!"screamed Des, pulling on some of her longer head feathers.

"You weren't there…," Private noted.

Shadow smirked and began to snicker.

Marlene raised an eyebrow at a blushing Skipper, asking, "Huh…?"

"That's so fun-ee-hee-hee-hee…!" Cori giggled, rolling all over the floor.

Des threw up her lunch next to Rico.

The heavyset penguin looked at the half-digested fish on his left and said softly, "…Ee-ugh…"

"Shut it off," ordered Skipper, having noticed that the video was on a loop.

Rico handed a mop to Private.

"Oh. Dear," said the mop-wielding penguin.

"Eugh…" Des' tongue hung out the side of her mouth. "S… sorry, Private…

"No, it's… it's okay…," the little penguin said, his stomach churning from looking at the grossness on the floor.

Shadow burst into an all-out fit of laughter and started rolling on the floor with Cori. Sometimes they bumped into each other, but it wasn't that often.

"It's just so darn funny…!" Cori shouted, holding her sides and rolling side-to-side.

"SHUT IT OFF!" yelled Skipper.

"Okay! Okay… Geez…" Corinne pressed the exit button and the whole Internet Voyager page closed.

"…Well I think it was actually pretty cute…," Marlene stated.

"…Huh?" Skipper uttered as he realized what she had said, surprised.

"I gotta go, guys. Bye!" Marlene waved and left through the large, metal door.

"… She thought it was cute…," Skipper muttered happily to himself.

"… Like Rico…?" Shadow dreamily sighed.

"…What?"

The she-penguins' eyes enlarged in apprehension and she stuttered, "Uh… I mean… I gotta go look for … girbles! Yeah, girbles! So… Uh… … Bye!" And with that, she rushed over to the laptop, opened Internet Voyager, went to Mikipedia, and looked up 'girbles', causing Skipper to slowly shake his head in confusion.


Soooooooooooooo...? Was it alright? Not too much lovey-dovey or too little? Oh. And if you wanna know what that French stuff says, I'll tell you. ... But you have to ask. ... So I know whether or not to tell you. Was it funny? I feel like I didn't have much funny. ... I don't think I write funny things. Tell if I'm right. ... Or wrong. Because there's NO SUCH THING AS KING JULIEN DAY!!!! ... Sorry. Watching that ep. Okay. If you want, go ahead and review. YES! YES! YES! YES! CANDY! CANDY! CAN--! ...Riiight... Byes... babbitrulez, out... (enjoy Bob's guts on me - XD)