I want to warn you before reading this chapter...I mean this...do not take me words lightly...If you already feel sick from the loss of hope and solitude from the last few chapters...I swear to god this chapter is not for you...I've told the truth...I haven't compromised the story in any way...and some one shall come to the bitter end...there is a lot of blood and pills and alcohol...If you do not like the sound of this...look away...NOW:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ March 21ST---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I walked through the school corridor...someone bashed into me...but just walked off without even saying sorry... "Ass hole" I muttered under my breath.
"Easy tiger..." Dylan laughed.
"Okay...Okay... Let's just get to art..."
Art was a fun lesson...I spent the whole time casually chatting to Dylan whilst following Mr Rankins instructions...we had to pick our favourite Artist and make an interpretation of his/her work...I just picked Gerard Way..I mean it was easy enough...he was my dad right? I ended up drawing a picture like the girl in the inside of "Three Cheers" Well...I mean the same style...she was pretty with deep red eyes...blood dripped down her face as she held up a rose that was bleeding on her...she wore a black gown similar to Mother Wars...I filled the background up with "Bullets" lyrics...you see it was combining my fathers...I mean Gerards...style in art and in music together...but unlike usual Mr Rankin didn't come over and take a look at my picture...he just passed straight on...I glanced over at Dylans...he was doing a take on Picassos block style...I finished way before the end of class so I just plugged in my IPod and listened to MSI: "Beat me up...Beat me down...Mess me up...Beyond all recognition."
"'Elena?" Mr Rankin said quietly...I pulled out my headphones...he didn't look at my picture...
"Please wait at the end of the lesson...I need to speak to you." He smiled briefly then turned around quickly and marched off. I didn't care that much...teachers always wanted to talk to me...they were my bitches...I giggled at the thought of that and put my headphones back in: "For what it's worth...I'd do it again...With no consequence...I will do it again...Hard up, so hunt me down, down, down...Jump the gun bust a cap hit the ground..."
RIIIINNNGGG...RRIIIINNNNGGG! The bell chimed distinctively through my music. I pulled out my headphone and turned my IPod off. I stayed sitting down through... Mr Rankin wanted to speak with me...
"I'll go and find the others...we'll wait outside for you." Dylan told me as he got up. The class emptied...Mr Rankin stood on the over side of the class room.
"You asked to speak to me?" I said standing up. He turned around...
"Yeah..." He walked slowly over to me...h was staring at me and creeping me out...
"Is this about me missing the lesson last week? I'm sorry... I was feeling ill." I said trying to fill the silence.
"Unfortunately...this is not about that..." He seemed to be staring at me now...manically...
"Okay...I hate to say this, but you're kind of freaki..." I didn't get any further since he leaned forward and kissed me...I pulled back.
"Oh...shit...I've got to go..." I stuttered tears were forming behind my eyes. I tried to turn around, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him and kissed me...wrapping his arms around me and forcing his tongue down my throat... I lifted my knee up and hit him in the balls frantically...tears burning my eyes.
"Get the hell of me!" I screamed as I shook away his hands and ran out the door...The others were waiting for me...I ran past them...still crying...
"'Elena what's wrong?" I Joe shouted behind me frantically...I ignored him...I had to find some where I could be alone. I ran down the main hall and pulled open the janitors closet door...no one ever came in here. I sat down against the door...breathing in sharply...tears rolled down my cheeks...I couldn't believe what was happening...what had just happened...I wiped my mouth trying to get all of him of me...My chest was so tight...like some on had put a band around it... I wrapped my arms around my pulled up knees and wept into them...I needed to get out of this hell. I pulled out my phone from my pocket...the dark closet seemed to be closing in on itself as I rang the first person I could think of...rriiinnnggg.....rriiiinnnggg....rrriiinnngggg....
"Hello?" Frank answered his phone.
"Oh god Frank...I'm so glad you answered..." I wept...
"What wrong?" His voice becoming urgent...
"Where are you?" I asked...more tears spilled out of my eyes...
"In the studio..."
"Can you make an excuse and go outside so no one can hear you...and don't say my name..."I told him...my voice still weak...
"Okay...okay..." There was a silence...I choked on my tears...I held the phone tightly...
"Okay...'Elena...I'm outside the studio...What happened? Why are you crying?" He asked very seriously...
"I didn't mean it to happen...he just kissed me...oh god...he tried to force himself on me... shit...Frank I don't know what to do..." I cried...
"Who? One of those stupid Jocks?" He asked defensively...I sniffled a No.
"Oh my god...was it Dylan?"
"No Frankie...it was my art teacher..." I broke down into tears then...I keeled over to the side...crying and holding the phone tightly.
"Okay...'Elena...I'm going to come and get you...where are you...of fuck 'Elena calm down!"
"Okay..." I took a sharp breath in... "I'm in the janitors closet..." I cried...
"I know this may be hard...but I need you to find your way to the main entrance...I'll be waiting for you..." Frankie trailed off...
"I don't want to...Frank I'm so scared...I can't move..."I cried...
"I know honey...I know...but I need you to take a breath and get to the main entrance so I can help you..."He whispered.
"Okay...just hurry up..." I sighed. I hung up and threw my phone to the ground...I put my hands above my head catching onto the door handle...tears rolled down my cheeks...why was everything so dark?
FRANK
I yawned and wiped my eyes...we were going through the tedious chore of putting our songs in the order for the album...my phone rang...Brian gave my exasperated look...I rolled my eyes a him and picked up my phone...
"Hello?" I answered.
"Oh god Frank...I'm so glad you answered..." 'Elena cried on the other end of the phone...
"What wrong?" Worry hit me immediatly...
"Where are you?"Her tears became more furious...I looked around at the guys watching me.
"In the studio..."
"Can you make an excuse and go outside so no one can hear you...and don't say my name..."She literally whispered...
"Okay...okay..."I said turning to the guys...
"I got to go..." I told them getting up and pressing the phone against the top of my chest.
"What? Why?" Ray asked.
"Um...there's something wrong with granddad..." I lied...I picked up my bag and slung it over my bag.
"What's wrong with him?" Mikey asked worried.
"Um...I don't know...I was just old to go...bye!" I ran out the room and closed the door. I put the phone back up to my ear...I was starting to get really worried.
"Okay...'Elena...I'm outside the studio...What happened? Why are you crying?" I said trying to be comforting.
"I didn't mean it to happen...he just kissed me...oh god...he tried to force himself on me... shit...Frank I don't know what to do..."My eyes widened.
"Who? One of those stupid Jocks?" I asked automatically defensively...
"No..oh god know..." She sniffed.
"Oh my god...was it Dylan?"
"No Frankie...it was my art teacher..." Everything changed then...I couldn't believe what I was hearing...this was crazy...All I wanted to do was kill him...
"Okay...'Elena...I'm going to come and get you...where are you...of fuck 'Elena calm down!"
"Okay..." she took a sharp breath in... "I'm in the janitors closet..." she broke down into even more tears.
"I know this may be hard...but I need you to find your way to the main entrance...I'll be waiting for you..." I wasn't sure how to end...
"I don't want to...Frank I'm so scared...I can't move..."
"I know honey...I know...but I need you to take a breath and get to the main entrance so I can help you..."I whispered. I ran out of the builing and jumped into the car and started driving like a mad man.
Gonna take off all my
skin, Can't find my way home, Do you wanna hold my hand? We're not here to pay a compliment, Can't find my way
home, No
way home why Can't find my way home, I can't find the way Come
on angel, don't you cry
Tear apart all of my insides,
When they rifle in,
Mom
and Dad think you'll be saved,
They never had the time,
They're
gonna medicate your lives,
You were always born a crime,
We
salute you in your grave.
But it's
through you and I know,
What I'd do just to get back in her
arms,
Can't find my way home,
But it's through you and I
know,
What I'd do just to get back in her arms.
(Well my gun fires
seven
different shades of shit,
So what's your favorite color,
punk?)
Could you sign this
photograph,
'Cause I'm your biggest fan,
Would you leave me
lying here?
Or sing
about the government,
Oxycontin genocide,
Adolescent
suicide,
I'll give you my sincerity,
{Don't give} a fuck about
a Kennedy,
Here's what I've got to say.
But it's through you and I know,
What I'd do just to get
back in her arms,
Can't find my way home,
But it's through you
and I know,
What I'd do just to get back in her arms.
[in
background]
We've got to go
[x7]
But it's through you and I know,
What I'd do just to get back in her arms,
Can't find my way
home,
But it's through you and I know,
What I'd do just to get
back, well, in her arms.
When I got to 'Elenas school all I could see were a mass of stupid kids making out and playing kick ball...I ran in-between them trying to make my way to the entrance...when I did... I saw 'Elena...she was crying...no one had noticed her standing in the middle of the hall hugging herself and crying... I ran over and gave her a hug...I didn't want to let go...it pained me seeing her like this...I pulled away and pointed out of the door.
"You see my car over there...go and get in it." I told her seriously.
"Frank you're not going to do anything stupid? Are you?" She asked cautiously...
"No...I'm just going to sign you out...go get in the car..."I lied...she ran of...I took a deep breath... I knew what her art teacher looked like...I'd seen a class picture of him when 'Elena showed me th eprject they had all been working on...he was young...unshaven and a shitty ass teacher... I walked around...some people were staring at me...I'm not sure if it was because the recognised me or because I looked like I was going to kill someone...I turned around... I couldn't have missed h...ahhah...there he was...he had his hands on his head and he was leant against the wall. I walked briskly up to him and punched him.
"That's what you get for touching her you ass! I'm going to give you some advice that I've gave some of her friends...don't upset her...because if you do...I'm going to get a little chainsaw happy...then we'll see who can be the total ass!" I screamed at him...He stood there staring at me...hand on his bleeding nose...what happened if 'Elena was just one of his victims? Victims...I hated that word...I turned around and walked off...everyone was staring at me now...when I got in the car, 'Elena looked me up and down cautiously...
"What did you do..." she said...her voice was weak...
"I just gave that dick head some pointers..." I muttered
"You said you weren't going to do anything!" She exclaimed...she dropped it after that...
"Okay...where are we going?" I asked her...
"I can't go to mine...then Lyn would know something happened..." she said looking down...I sighed...
"You're going to stay at mine...since Jamia's going to be out...at lunch with a friend...and I'll drop you of at your house after school finishes...
"Thanks Frank..." she said...I glanced at her...
"'Elena...I know what it's like to be a 16 year old at high school...promise me you're not going to do anything stupid when I drop you off..." I said...
"I won't...nothing stupid..." she said simply...I took another glances at her...hr eyes were red and huge...her hair was wild...I hated t say it...but I didn't trust her...
"Promise me..."
"I promise I won't do anything stupid..."
'ELENA
I wanted to throw up...I felt so ill... there was this brick sitting in the bottom of my stomach and my eyes lids couldn't stay open...I closed Franks car door...
"Thanks fr looking out for me..." I said as I slammed the door.
"No problem...i your dad asks...you've been at school ALL day, remember?" He laughed...
"Frank...I want a hug..." I said...he got out a gave me a hug...I hugged him so tightly I was scared I was suffocating him... This was my goodbye hug...but he didn't know that. I then opened the door to my house...after telling dad that I was fine...and school had been great I walked slowly upstairs...I had planned what I was going to do... I lay on my bed...My chest fell down then jumped up...my heart beat quickened every time I thought about what I was going to do...I was going to escape...Everything was so black...so filthy... Ever read Watchmen? Rorschachs Diary… first entry we hear: Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"… and I'll whisper "no."
I get it..this could have been me…but it wasn't…everything's so black…so disgusting…the sky is grey and the earth is populated with hells…funny Man strides to make the earth his own paradise…in wish it is populated with demons…just like we fight for peace…and give fake hopes…like…love.
This feeling…it's also the feeling of a crushing expectation to be civilised…to have manors…to be sociable…we are but dolls…to expectations…we shape our minds and personalities so we can impress people and exceed their expectations…we looks up to others…I don't want a doll…I want to pull of these strings that are controlling me…but I'm scared…of closing my eyes… I jumped up and went looking through my things... I found a half used bottle of pain killers...a full bottle of cheap whiskey and a razor...I closed my eyes and took a breath in...I didn't want to live in a world like this any more...how could I? I threw some pills in my mouth then swallowed them with whiskey...I kept doing this until the pills were all gone...I was so drunk...my head felt so light and My legs had went numb...this was going to be the last thing I did...I pulled the razor over my skin...like a pen in left lines of red...but it wasn't ink...it was blood...the gashed went up either arms...I fell down on my bed exhausted...Bye, bye world...I love you...that's when it hit me...I loved the world...what the fuck was I doing? But my eye lids were so heavy...I couldn't stay awake any longer...I was falling into a deadly sleep:
Welcome
to this institution Cause I can't ever sleep
at night the same Cause I close my eyes, What did I say? Back to the day, back into
this day What did I say? I will take this ferris wheel Oh my darling Don't let me sleep tonight What
did I say? I'm sleepwalking
back into this...
One way to resolution
I'm put on this
medication
Rolls down my throat
This medication enjoys, enjoys most every day
I see land
What did I say to put Sister to Sleep?
And fall awake and die
And I'm never goin' to bed
Back to another level, hotter then hell
Said that
we're not savages until we do it
Again
And one last night
I'll kiss your lips again
What did I say
to put Sister to Sleep?
And fall awake and die
And I'm never
goin' to sleep
And I'm
sleepwalking back into this hell
For the
first time
And get in your way
tonight
Don't let me sleep tonight
Get in your way
What did I say to put Sister to sleep?
I'll never
go to sleep
And I won't go back to bed
Hell!
Oh... God...
LINDSEY
"Tea's ready!" I shouted up at 'Elena...there was no answerer... Gee sighed...
"I'll go and get her..." he said.
"No, no I will...you finish feeding Bandit!" I rushed up the stairs...I knocked on 'Elenas doors...no answerer...I knocked again...no answerer...I very slowly opened the door leading into her pitch black room. She was lying on her blood covered bed. I ran over...there was a empty bottle of aspirin and whisky next to her...my eyes bulged...deep scars like ribbons rolled down her arms...beads of blood covered her.
"SHIT! Gee call an ambulance..." I screamed...I heard thuds as Gee ran up the stairs...he walked in and saw 'Elena whilst holding the phone...he stopped still...
"Ring the god damn ambulance!" I told him again...I looked down at 'Elena...why would she do this?
FRANK
"She said she wouldn't do anything stupid...she fucking promised..." I moaned and cried at the same time...All I could see was her face...god it was tearing me up.
"What?" Gee voice was very, very deep and slow.
" She said she wouldn't do anything stupid..." I trailed of...realising what I had done...
"When was this?" He asked urgently...
"At lunch time...I rang her...she was upset about something..." I lied...'Elena would not want him to know what happened...
"About what?" He sounded so desperate...like knowing would make 'Elena be okay...
"I don't know!" I screamed...He didn't question me any more...he just let me sit there and cry...Jamia sat next to me...her hand tightly in mine and she held her tears in.
------foot steps down the hall. Bleeping...I looked up...Dylan. He was crying too.--------
"What did she do? What the fuck did she do?" He sounded like he was begging for something... poise? Gee just got up...it was almost scary as I watched...and gave Dylan a hug...as he cried.
"She'll get better...she's a fighter...you'll see!" Dylan cried...
GERARD
I hate hospitals...I hate everything about them...and I hated being in one right now...the guys were here...surrounding me...
"She's going to be okay..." Bob said...I looked up...
"How the hell is she going to be okay? She drunk and bottle of whisky, half a bottle of friggen aspirin and sliced her fucking wrists open!" I screamed... Lyn took my hand tightly...We had got mom to come and look after Bandit whilst we were at the hospital.
"She said she wouldn't do anything stupid...she fucking promised..." I heard Frank whisperer with tears...
"What?" I asked...
" She said she wouldn't do anything stupid..." he trailed of...
"When was this?" I asked urgently...
"At lunch time...I rang her...she was upset about something..."
"About what?" I asked...I needed to know why!
"I don't know!" He literally screamed at me...I looked down...I could hear him crying... foot steps down the hall. Bleeping...I looked up...Dylan. He was crying too.
"What did she do? What the fuck did she do?" He screeched in tears. I got up... and walked to where he had stopped still in the hall...and did something I never thought I would ever do...I pulled him into a hug as we both wept...
"She'll get better...she's a fighter...you'll see!" He cried...I wanted to believe him...I really did... A doctor in a smart white uniform called me into a different room...he was old and bald and had a hooked nose like an eagle swooping for prey,
"Is she going to live?" I asked...He bit his lip...a frown appearing on his face...
"Oh god..." I gasped
"We are taking her in to get her stomach pumped...but there is a very real chance that 'Elena won't make it through the night...the alcohol and pills and a deadly concoction without the loss of blood... But if she responds well she could be with us in a matter of days..." that was not what I wanted to hear...I put my hands over my eyes and cried some more...what had pushed 'Elena to do that...It can't have just been a single thing...it must have been more than that... I walked outside...completely undemonstrative... I sat down on the bench and my head in my hands...
"So?" they all pushed gently...I looked up...
"There is a very real chance that 'Elena is not going to survive this..." I think I had ran out of tears by that point...I just sat and shook...
THANKS FOR READING THE 7TH CHAPTER! This was a particularly short chapter, but it did its job...will 'Elena live or die? Will more blood be spilled and will the story continue? This chapter is dedicated to MCR...for being characters...role models and true...
YOU PUT THE HATE IN MY HEART... xox
