Chapter 7

Edited 10/4/17


Chapter 7: Anxiety

After a night containing very little sleep and rather a lot of packing, Merlin found himself riding out of Camelot's gates with the king, his knights and Guinevere, heading in the direction of the forest. He had spent the previous night preparing everything for their expedition, and due to Gwen's presence amoung them, everything had to be "perfect", therefore why Merlin got such little sleep.

They rode through the trees at a steady pace, Arthur leading the way, closely followed by Leon, and Merlin bringing up the rear. Merlin preferred it this way. Being at the back meant that he could subtly use his magic to identify any incoming threats, and if necessary, use it to defend his friends, undetected by the others. It also meant that he could sit quietly and reflect on the very problem this brought up.

He was becoming careless, he decided. Telling Gwaine had been intentional, and necessary at the time, but Percival? Gwen? Leaving his magic book out in the open had been downright careless, when it came down to it. It should never have happened. And Gwen? He had intended to tell her, but in words – not with a demonstration. He still couldn't believe that his hold on his magic had slipped like it did yesterday, revealing him in that way. He needed to be more careful. Soon, there would be no reason for him to tag along at the back of the group, using his magic in secret. The way he was going, all the knights, including Arthur, would know about his magic by the end of this trip. And then there were all the other people who knew, scattered all over Albion… Gaius, his mother, Gilli, Mordred, the Great Dragon… Merlin wanted to run and hide in Ealdor at the very thought of it.

But then again… yes, he was worried about his secrecy, and he was worried about his friends, and the danger that knowing about his magic put them in. But he couldn't help but feel a certain sense of relief. Having more than one person in Camelot who knew about this other part of him had lifted a great weight off his chest – one that he wasn't even aware he had been carrying. He was beyond grateful. He had people who he could talk to freely, without worrying about giving anything away. He could share his problems without having to hide what was really going on. It was refreshing. Gwaine would hardly let him stop talking about magic, it fascinated him so. And then there was Gwen, who wanted to know all that he had done to help Arthur and Camelot during his time there, and wouldn't stop telling him how grateful she was. Even Percival showed curiosity, especially interested in the fact that he was Emrys, the figure of prophecy that he had grown up hearing about. Curiosity, not fear, as Merlin had dreaded his whole life. Yes, he was immensely grateful to his friends.

Merlin shook himself. He had to be more careful. He hated lying to his friends, but it was necessary to protect them. But if things continued as they were… heck, he may as well start wearing a pointy hat and wandering the streets of Camelot, turning hay bales into ponies.


What started off as a beautiful day to spend riding through the forest later dwindled into a miserable one. The sun had been shining through the treetops, the birds singing merrily, and Merlin and the others chatting away happily as they always did. After an uneventful ride (for which Merlin was grateful), the sky had begun to darken, and the party followed their king to a clearing deemed appropriate for spending the night. Being servants, Merlin, and also Gwen, had begun to set up camp, only for Arthur to refuse to allow Gwen to help and leaving Merlin to deal with it alone. He was grateful when Percival and Gwaine noticed his plight and took it upon themselves to help, and together they set up tents for the entire group.

And now, the weather in the forest had turned downright miserable - great, dark clouds hovering above and threatening them with rain. It was cold and dreary as they all sat around the fire, only made warm by the heat of the flames and the mead Gwaine had thought necessary to bring along. Despite the weather being against them, they were in good spirits, talking and laughing amoung themselves as they had done many times before.

"Sire?" Arthur, laughing reluctantly at one of Gwaine's more inappropriate jokes, turned to find Leon had addressed him from across the fire. "When are we expecting to find the bandit's camp?"

"Reports say they are camped within Camelot territory, not too far from the border to Essetir", Arthur told him. "Even if they are heading in the direction of Cenred's kingdom, we will reach them before they cross the border into enemy lands. Noon, in two days time, at the most. Do not worry yourself, Leon. I do not expect them to be much of a threat".

"How many, sire?"

"Between ten and twenty armed, at most. These bandits are not learned in swordplay - we will easily overpower them, despite numbers".

"And… if there are more?"

Everyone turned to Merlin. No one saw when Gwaine answered his question by wiggling his fingers, obviously trying to imitate his using magic and failing miserably. Well, no one except Percival, who was struggling to keep a straight face. And Elyan… that was worrying.

Arthur was rolling his eyes at his servant, swirling the mead around in his flagon. "There won't be, Merlin. Stop fretting. You're such a petticoat sometimes it's unbelievable". He smirked when Merlin huffed, ignoring his servant in favour of turning to talk to Guinevere. Unseen, Merlin shared a look with Gwaine, who raised his hands in surrender under Merlin's glare. Unfortunately for them, Elyan, sitting on Gwen's other side, saw this and sent the two questioning looks. Merlin hurriedly looked away.

"I hope there aren't any more than that", Percival muttered from his right. Merlin nodded in agreement. "I don't think we can risk it. Arthur finding out about your magic now might not be the best thing for either of you". Merlin was often surprised by how protective Percival had become of him, and this time was no exception.

"No, I don't think so", he agreed, glancing around to make sure no one was listening in. "Any further plans?"

Percival shook his head. "Not yet. But we'll think of something". He clapped Merlin on the shoulder, and the smaller man almost went head first into the fire. Percival hurriedly pulled him back by his shirt with a grin.

That's when Merlin noticed Elyan watching them, apparently having attempted to listen in to their whispered conversation. He looked at Merlin questioningly again. Merlin was forced to shake his head and look away, not missing the hurt look on Elyan's face.

As the night progressed further, the clouds turned completely against them and released a downpour of rain. They all said hurried goodnights and retreated into the warmth of their tents - Arthur and Leon to one, Percival and Elyan to another, Gwaine and Merlin to the next and Gwen and Elyan, being brother and sister, and therefore considered the most appropriate arrangement, to another.

Having offered to take first watch, Merlin sat at the entrance to his and Gwaine's shared tent and stared out into the rain. The heavy rain meant that no one would emerge from his or her tent, so he decided it was safe to use his magic. He made shapes in the puddles and formed tiny insects from falling water droplets, even practiced scrying by looking into the small pools of water to see what Gaius was currently doing. He sat and watched the night for a couple of hours, grateful when nothing came to disturb them thanks to the unrelenting rain. Deciding he'd been up long enough, he nudged Gwaine awake for his turn at watch, and curled up under a blanket in an attempt to get some much needed sleep.