A/N: Thank you for the reviews.
CHAPTER SEVEN
LONDON, 1877
MARY LOUISE looked up at the sky, watching the birds fly by, while lying down on the grassy field, in the middle of spring.
A woman's laughter refocused her attention, and she hoisted herself up to see her friend, with jet-black hair and green eyes, make her way up the hill. She smiled once she saw her.
"You'll never believe what just happened," The woman said as she plotted herself down next to Mary Louise.
"Do tell," Mary Louise said in anticipation. This woman was her dearest and oldest friend whom she cared deeply about. She could listen to her talk all day about everything and nothing.
The woman, named Victoria, smiled devilishly, as if she was keeping a naughty secret. "I saw Thomas by the lake. He smiled and winked at me."
The excitement in Mary Louise's face disappeared, and it was replaced by disappointment and annoyance.
"Why the sour look?" Victoria commented as she caressed Mary Louise's arm.
Mary Louise swallowed hard. For some time she had felt there were things different about her. One of those things seemed to amplify every time she was near Victoria. While most girls her age were already married off and having children, or soon to be married, her only want in life was to be near Victoria all the time.
"Well?" Victoria said again.
Mary Louise looked back up at the afternoon sky. "I don't think Thomas is the one for you."
Victoria let out a laugh. "That is what you said about John, and George, and Charles. Is there anyone good enough for me?"
Mary Louise turned back to Victoria. "Do we have to have this talk now? I am sure there is someone out there for you."
Victoria sighed. "And what about you?"
"What about me?" Mary Louise asked.
"You've turned down every courtship, from David, Henry, Clarence – all suitable men."
Mary Louise shrugged. "They bored me to tears."
"You did not even give them a chance."
"I gave them plenty of chances!" Mary Louise said defensively, with a flash of anger in her eyes. "I cannot help it if they were all awfully dull."
Victoria sighed. "Very well. But for a moment: close your eyes. Who would your ideal husband be?"
Mary Louise rolled her eyes, but eventually complied because it made Victoria happy.
"Now then," Victoria said, "who do you see?"
"I see blackness," Mary Louise responded. "This is foolish."
"You are not even trying. Clear your mind like the day sky, and picture the one you would love. Focus on that feeling."
Mary Louise shifted in her position and took a deep breath. None of the men she knew were worth even a second thought in her head. But if she focused on a feeling, her mind pictured long dark hair blowing in the wind, and green eyes meeting hers. She pictured her hands entwined in Victoria's, and days spent laughing. She could vividly see Victoria's smile brighten up even the cloudiest of days. She could spend the rest of her life as an unmarried woman and be content as long as she had Victoria.
"Well?" Victoria finally asked. "Who did you see?"
"I saw…I saw someone beautiful and caring, with dark hair and eyes that sparkle in the sun. Someone who is carefree, with a smile so beautiful it would make one stop dead in their tracks."
"It's like you just described Thomas," Victoria said as she laid her head down on the grass. Mary Louise followed suite, her head briefly turned to watch Victoria look at the sky. They were lying so close together that there arms were touching.
They laid in silence, Mary Louise not wanting this moment to end.
Victoria suddenly sat upright, a concerned expression on her face. "Dear me. What if Thomas did like me back? I haven't kissed a man in my life."
Mary Louise slowly sat up right, a look of confusion on her face. This outburst seemed so sudden.
"I haven't kissed a man, Mary Louise. How will I know what to do?"
"I am afraid your guess is as good as mine," Mary Louise answered.
"I know!" Victoria proclaimed. "I will practice."
"On whom?" Mary Louise asked.
"On you!" Victoria said, and Mary Louise almost choked on air.
"On me?" Mary Louise questioned, her heart skipping a beat.
"Yes, silly, on you. You're the only one here. Now sit up."
Mary Louise felt her heart beat faster as Victoria positioned herself across from her. Sometimes, she would have dreams of kissing Victoria that would seem so real, only to wake up and find herself in her bed alone.
"Ready?" Victoria asked, but Mary Louise was nervous, and the only sound she heard in hear ears was the loud beating of her racing heart.
Victoria's eyes moved down to Mary Louise's lips, and she slowly started to move her head closer. Mary Louise had wanted this moment to happen for some time, and she closed her eyes while also leaning in, waiting in anticipation for their lips to meet.
The sound of Victoria's laugh caused Mary Louise to open her eyes, their lips never meeting.
"Oh my heavens," Victoria said between giggles. "Could you imagine if we actually kissed? What an absolute depravity that would be. The thought of kissing another woman is enough to make me ill." She got up from the grass, her dress blowing in the wind. "Come, Mary Louise. Let us go to the lake and see if Thomas has a less dull friend you can meet."
Mary Louise, who was still sitting on the grass in shock, watched as Victoria made her way down the hill. Her eyes suddenly blurred with tears, and for the first time in her life she had felt heart break, like there was some invisible force crushing her heart and taking all the air out of her lungs at the same time. She also felt an incredible amount of shame, and up until this day she had never felt disgusted in loving another woman, until the woman she loved told her it was immoral and wrong.
