Hey peps! Oh my gosh I have to give you all a double thank you for all the reviews!! I got twice as many as usual! To tell you I appreciate it is an understatement. They always make my day so please keep it up! Also… BREAKING DAWN!! Yes I finished it and I want to know what you guys think. I don't want to say something and give it away, but if you guys want to talk about it please PM me. Personally I wasn't too please at the beginning but I grew to like it. What about you?? Anyway here is the next chap, don't forget to REVIEW again!! Thanks! Sorry for the delay :0
Disclaimer: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and recently Breaking Dawn all belong to the lovely and talented Stephenie Meyer.
Edward's POV
Yesterday had been so horrible I couldn't even bear to think of it. Okay so that was a huge lie. Bella had looked absolutely stunning in her dress, and dancing with her was pure bliss. It was the later part of the day that I wished I could just erase from my flawless memory. Did Alice really have to torture me like that? And then of course everyone was laughing, even Bella! Well I didn't mind her laughing so much since I live to make her happy, but it didn't do too well for my ego.
Bella twisted in my arms so that she was snuggled even closer to my cold body, if possible. I gazed lovingly at her unconscious face as it pressed against my chest. She was so amazing. Even in her sleep she seemed capable of taking my breath away. She was, is, and will always be my whole life and I couldn't wait to seal it completely with the words "I do".
The whole acting human and sleeping at night thing did not affect me in any way since I always watched my angel sleep anyway. For the rest of my family, that was slightly a different story. Carlisle would text Esme quietly throughout the night since she of course would be up too. I found it very sweet, and refrained from reading his mind so that their conversation remained private. Alice and Rose coped just fine also, with their fashion magazines that they pored over. Jasper was just content holding Alice in his arms as I was with Bella.
So it was easy being absolutely quiet at night right? Wrong. Did I happen to mention Emmett? Do I even need to explain? He wasn't exactly able to remain quiet for so long, and was hit repeatedly by Rose whenever he decided to do something too active.
At the moment his thoughts consisted of, 'Bored, boring, boredom, bored, boring, boredom… huh and Rose won't even let me touch her cause she says I'm too loud! Psh yeah right… bored, boring, boredom'. That was his usual chant interrupted occasionally by an errant thought. Seriously how hard was it to just shut your mouth and do something quiet? Obviously impossible for Emmett. I was about to turn my attention back to my mumbling fiancée when Emmett got an idea. That is always a bad thing.
'Yo Eddie want to have some fun? I have an awesome idea!' His thoughts were amused at his apparently awesome idea.
"No. You can get up at six which is in two hours so just keep quiet you moron," I hissed under my breath knowing he, along with the rest of the family, could hear me.
'Aww come on! I promise it's quiet and you will love it!' He added trying to persuade me.
"No" I hissed back with a sigh before tuning him out completely.
"But I don't want to eat the balloons… yes Edward is sexy," my love mumbled in her sleep. I chuckled quietly at her silliness, her body shaking slightly with mine. Hmm… she thought I was sexy! Well I already knew that but it was still pleasant to hear. I was slightly conscious of the fact that Emmett was moving about the house, but he would be silent to human ears so I ignored it.
"Edward can you make me some French toast in your pink pajamas?" She mumbled again with a slight smile on her face. I rolled my eyes at her suggested attire, but at least I knew what to make her for breakfast in the morning. In the back of my mind, I registered the fact that Emmett had passed my room and was headed toward the guest bedrooms but I didn't dwell on it long enough to wonder why.
It wasn't until I heard the sound of a whip cream can being used and toilet paper ripping that I turned my full attention onto my idiotic brother. What the hell was he doing?
'Ha! Nutty looks good with a whip cream face! Hmm… now for the ketchup… where to put it? Oh yes… perfect!' His excited thoughts froze me in place. He wouldn't!
"Emmett!" I hissed loudly in a pitch undetected by humans so as not to disturb both Bella and our tortured guest.
Carefully detangling myself from Bella's sleeping form, I grabbed a shirt and raced toward the scene of the crime. Upon hearing my tone, the rest of my family raced after me with questioning thoughts. Except for Rosalie who was coming up with different ways to punish her husband even though she had no idea what was going on yet.
I burst through the open door to the room in which Mrs. Nutcracker was staying. I was furious that Emmett would try and pull something like this! It was so childish to mess with sleeping people, and also impossible for us since we don't sleep which is probably why Emmett came up with this idea. I had planned to drag Emmett out forcefully and allow Rosalie to beat him to a pulp, but the scene I encountered only allowed for one thing.
I fell to the floor gasping for air; my eyes squeezed shut and my hand clamped tightly to my mouth. Never have I thought it possible for someone to die of laughter, let alone a vampire, but I was not sure if I was going to make it. I probably looked like I was have a heart attack as I choked back the laughter that was sure to wake up Emmett's unaware victim. Only a couple seconds ahead of the rest of my family, they came bursting in after me.
"Edward what is wrong with… Oh My God," Rosalie soon joined me in my uncontrollable choking attack trying to suppress the laughing, except she braced herself against the door frame. Alice and Jasper found themselves in the same condition while Carlisle just stared, mouth hanging open as if his jaw was broken.
What is so funny about a little whip cream you ask? Certainly nothing this hilarious correct? Right, well I doubt you have ever been attacked by Emmett with a can of whip cream, but damn could he do some damage.
Mrs. Nutcracker was lying on her back, arms at her sides. Her whole face was covered in whip cream, excluding her nose and eyes, at least Emmett remembered she still had to see and breathe. Lips were draw over the pile of cream with the ketchup, along with rosy red cheeks. The rest of her body was also cream covered, only with toilet paper sticking to it. She looked like a gigantic marshmallow mummy! Then on top of everything else, Emmett had spelled out Nutty across her stomach with walnuts sticking to more whipped cream. He even spread the cream and ketchup into her hair so that it was sticking up into one large spike on top of her head.
Emmett stood by her bed smiling proudly at us with two empty cans of whipped cream in each hand. Why did we have so much of that stuff in our house in the first place?
"Presenting my master piece, the Marshmallow Mummy!" he grinned proudly enjoying our uncontrollable reaction. Carlisle still looked shocked, but had managed to close his mouth.
"W-why Emmett?" He whispered with wide eyes. I don't think I have ever seen Carlisle this disheveled.
"Well Edward would kill me if I ever thought about doing this to Bella," I growled at the thought, "See! Plus Alice never got her revenge for what Nutty said about Esme, so I decided that this mommy needed to be whipped!" At the mention of this woman's remark about his mate, Carlisle turned from shocked and almost angry to understanding and appreciative. Everyone was waiting for his reaction as I picked myself off of the floor.
"Oh well as long as there was a reason…" with that he left smirking back to his office to go fill in his wife about the events that had just transpired.
"Way to go Emmett!" Jasper exclaimed softly, congratulating him with a high five. Their voices were in check yes, but their high five was a bit loud. Mrs. Nutcracker groaned in her sleep causing us all to book out of her room snickering the whole way.
Seeing that it was now a little after five, I decided to start my attempt at French toast for my love. I had watched the food channel enough to know how, but as always I was skeptical of my cooking skills since I was unable to taste test the food. Stopping to kiss Bella softly on the head, I headed toward the kitchen hoping that I would be successful.
--
Filled with self-satisfaction at my feat, I stacked the last piece of French toast onto the already overflowing plate. Next to it I had a plate of bacon and sausage. I divided the food onto eight plates on the counter top. Bella had yet to awaken, as well as Stacy, but it was only six O'clock.
Everyone grabbed their plates and headed up to their rooms to 'eat it'. Actually they were dumping it down the toilet. That is how we have been getting out of actually eating human food thus far. Whenever it was suitable to eat as a human, we would all disperse to our rooms or elsewhere and dispose of the food, while making it look as if we had enjoyed another meal.
I grabbed two plates on my way back up to my room. According to Alice, Bella would wake up in a couple seconds. Of course she was right, Bella was stretching when I entered my room.
"Mmm, smells like French toast! How did you know?" She asked tilting her head to the side in wonder.
"You told me to make you some in my pink pajamas. Sorry I didn't dress for the occasion," I mocked lightly, setting the food in front of her.
"Oh," yawning, she picked up her fork and dug in. I was relieved to see that her face lit up in pleasure when she tasted the food.
Once she finished both her meal, and part of mine, I gave her some privacy to change for the day. I sat in the living room waiting for her, but instead was met my Emmett.
"Edward! Alice said we have five minutes!" He exclaimed while settling himself on the couch so that he had a perfect view of the stairs.
"Until?"
"The mummy comes to life," his eyes had that evil glint to them to match his evil smirk. I chuckled when I revisited my memory of last night. This should be good. Within a couple minutes everyone was sitting in the living room with the TV running quietly as a human excuse, but we were really waiting.
"Edward why are we all waiting for her to get up?" Bella sat next to me in confusion. We had only told her to watch the stairs and it would be worth it, but she was never really one to enjoy surprises.
"Just wait love," was all I got out before a blood curtailing screamed ripped through the air. Upon hearing the scream, all the cameramen who had been preparing to start at seven ran into the house not wanting to miss anything. Oh this definitely would be good.
Racing down the stairs, Stacy Nutcracker stopped to face the crowd waiting for her. I imagine that her face would have been extremely furious, but you couldn't tell because of all the whipped cream. It had slightly hardened so that none fell off when she ran down the stairs. I looked down at Bella to see her reaction. At first she was just as Carlisle had been, but then she burst into a fit of giggles. Even the cameramen and Micky were laughing!
"OH! YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY! AGH!" She was shaking with anger, which only made it more funny because she had a big red ketchup smile plastered on her cream face, "YOU WON'T THINK IT IS FUNNY WHEN YOU GO TO HELL FOR THIS SIN!"
"Now, who DID THIS!" She growled, stomping her foot. Emmett chose now to put his plan into action.
"Oh no! Mrs. Nutcracker! Not you too!" He wailed feigning horror.
"What are you going on about young man!"
"Huh… well I must have forgotten to tell you about… HIM!" He was quite good at weaving lies.
"Him who?"
"Well there is this insane man running around Forks that breaks into peoples houses and whips people that he thinks have been bad."
"What do you mean whips people?"
"Well look at yourself! You have been whipped so bad you look like a gigantic marshmallow mummy! Now you better figure out what you did wrong or he is going to kill you." His voice and face were serious, but did he actually expect her to believe that load of crap? He had laid it on too thick, she would never fall for…
"Kill me!" She squealed with a look of horror on her face. Okay so maybe she would fall for it.
"Yes, they say he works for the devil. So I suggest you leave on his punishment or he will definitely kill you."
"You are telling me to go around like this!"
"Well if you don't want to die that is. He feels you are disrespecting him if you wash away his punishment."
"How long?"
"Twenty-four hours."
Upon hearing her sentence, her eyes shot daggers at Emmett as if it were his fault that this crazy person had whipped her. Oh wait; never mind it was his fault! With a big huff, she turned and marched back upstairs.
"He doesn't like it when you hide his punishment either!" Emmett called to her as she disappeared upstairs.
"UGH!" Was her only reply.
"Umm… Emmett what was that about?" Bella looked at him, occasionally letting a giggle or two slip out.
"Well I was bored last night because I 'couldn't sleep' and I started thinking about how Mrs. Nutcracker was a deep sleeper… well then somehow I came up with whip cream, ketchup, and toilet paper… and that happened," he gestured toward the stairs where Stacy had just retreated, "Don't worry though, she deserved it."
"Okay? And you had to scare her to death with the crazy whipping guy?"
"It was funnier that way, oh and thanks Jasper for making her so believing," Emmett nodded toward his brother. Yeah, there was no way she would have bought that if it weren't for Jasper.
"So… what are we doing today Alice," I asked nonchalantly after a few minutes of silence. I didn't really want to go out somewhere today.
"I was thinking we could just stay home and… I believe it's time for another bet," She smiled as both Emmett and Jasper perked up at her words.
"And what exactly does this bet entail?" Emmett's excitement was visible in his face as her rubbed his hands together.
"Well I just think that me and Rosalie are much more affectionate than you and Jasper are. You guys are not very good bisexuals." Just for emphasis, she grabbed Rose's hand. Both of the guys stared at her for a second before their competitive sides took over.
"I-I am not so sure about that Alice. Name the specifics," Emmett's face had turned serious as he waited for the rules of their bet.
"It's simple, today Bella and Edward will judge which couple is the most affectionate! Losers have to give Mrs. Nutcracker a mani pedi."
"What the hell is a mani pedi?"
"Naïve little Emmy," Rose cut in shaking her head, "A mani pedi is a manicure and a pedicure." Jasper looked nervous once the bet was explained.
"Umm Emmett I don't think…" but he was cut off.
"Deal! Bring it ladies!" Emmett exclaimed reaching for Jasper's hand.
"Dude!" Jasper yanked his hand back glaring at his… 'partner'.
"Aww come on Jazzy you know you love my big strong man hands!" Emmett looked like he was enjoying giving Jasper a hard time, who on the other hand looked as if he would puke.
"Hmm, won't even hold his hand Jazzy? That isn't very affectionate," Alice mocked while kissing Rose's hand, still intertwined with hers.
"Ugh fine! Give me your damn man hand," Jasper growled gripping Emmett's hand. I chuckled along with my giggling Bella. This would definitely be an interesting day.
Nutty's POV
What was I thinking agreeing to come on this show! John convinced me I would be making the world a better place by helping another family see things my way. He of course would be missing me so much right now. My husband loves my rules and strict nature. Some may say he was a little too egger at the possibility of me leaving for two weeks, but I knew he just wants to spread my perfect ways. His intent was well placed considering how corrupt this family is, but this is too much evil! Discipline and God were the only things the world needed, and the Cullens were the exact example of not receiving these.
This was a horrible idea! First, I am on the evil TV! I wouldn't allow myself to be on it if I didn't feel I could bring some good to someone else's life! Second, I am placed in a disrespectful house of God haters who will all find themselves in hell! This house is so full of evil I am scared that I will find the devil lounging in their living room!
On top of that, there is some crazy man that wants to kill me! I don't need any sort of punishment, because I never do anything wrong. I am perfect, just as I expect my children to be. Oh and I do very much believe that Emmett boy had something to do with this. He probably opened the door and showed the crazy whipping man where I slept!
Ugh this household is in utter chaos! I will have to pull out all my strongest strategies next week to make any improvements. The Cullen family WILL change their evil ways and I am going to make sure that happens. Never fear, the almighty Nutcracker is here!
Esme's POV
Yet again I was highly grateful that Edward had found Bella as his mate, a human. If I hadn't I would have no idea how to cook for this family. It was still challenging, but I managed. Once diner was on the table, I sat down with the family to eat, which was the part I despised the most about this show. Acting human was definitely thrilling, but having to swallow their food was almost impossible. I always took as little as possible without seeming rude.
"This food is delicious," Jena smiled warmly at me after her first bite. I have noticed that, even though I still enforce their mother's rules, they give me true smiles as if they are happy, content. It pleases me that just by acting motherly that they have changed for the better.
This Stacy Nutcracker must be a horrible person, and from what Carlisle has told me, she is. I couldn't help but enjoy Emmett's silliness when I heard the whip cream prank he pulled on her. I would normally disapprove, but this Stacy seriously needs to lighten up. Having fun is not evil, it is healthy.
"Thank you so much Jena," I returned her warm smile as dinner commenced in peace and quiet. Although I enjoyed having the silence, I also missed the noise my family provided. It always seemed that they could have been a little more on the quiet side, but now I appreciate it because they were having fun and being happy, truly happy.
Once dinner was had, I began to clean up humming quietly to myself. The girls joined me in the cleaning, and after awhile they began to hum with me. It was a pleasant moment to share with them. I was happy to find their guard dropping, feeling as if they could be themselves around me. They really were sweet, and unique, only suppressed by their mother's unnecessary dictatorship.
Okay there you go! Hope you enjoyed it!! I wasn't too thrilled with it, but then again I rarely am. Anyway the sooner you review, the sooner I will put up the next half of day three!! REVIEWSCHAPS and CHAPS HAPPY READERS!! Luv you guys!! :)
-Edwardluvr22
