**Not mine..wish they were…but they aren't**

**Author's note..

I realize that this chapter is a long time coming. I have been struggling with this story, but knew that I needed to bring you this. I am hoping that I can get you another chapter soon.

Please review…they are my inspiration…I appreciate all the support and feedback from this story so far. The warning is there for a reason..it's not as graphic as I had initially had written it. But I thought that it would be a little too extreme. **

**EXTREME VIOLENCE/GRAPHIC SEX is IMPLIED AND DESCRIBED...YOU'VE BEEN WARNED**

I scrubbed, shaved, exfoliated, and washed within an inch of my life using all of the hot water. I was desperately trying to wash away this feeling of utter self-loathing that I have been suffocating in since at Joe's house, be groped and grabbed before being asked to perform privately for whom-so-ever had the largest wad of cash in their pocket.

Sighing I slunk into the bedroom and changed into what I now refer to as "Cupcake attire". A skimpy g-string with matching shelf bra, thigh high stockings, and 6 inch platform heels everything in blue. I covered it with strapless matching corset and a micromini. Starring at myself in my full-length mirror I had to choke back the tears. I was a whore. A worthless, dirty whore and part of me believed that I deserved this. I covered my outfit with an over-sized sweatshirt and sweatpants before grabbing my purse and heading out.

I rode in the SUV to Joe's with the radio softly playing. I parked behind his home next to his garage before making my way to the kitchen door, as I wasn't allowed to use the front door. The party was already in full swing. The lights were all on, and the shades were all pulled down. Heavy metal/rap rumbled the whole house making it vibrate tensely. I took a deep breath before stepping into the kitchen.

"You're late." Joe's gruff slurred voice startled me. Clutching my hand to my chest, I took a deep breath trying to regain my normal heartbeat. "I told you to be here by midnight."

I glanced back at the clock on the stove. It read 12:02. Shit. I thought.

"I'm sorry Joe. I thought I left my apartment on time." I shifted slightly in my heels, gauging his reaction. He wasn't pleasant when he got angry, but he was even worse when he was drunk and horny. Unfortunately, it was the latter.

"Cupcake, you know I think that tonight might be a good night. I have surprise for you." He tilted his head towards me. "Get ready and be out when I put on the music. You know what to do." I nodded as he walked out. Quickly, I set my purse on the counter, stripped off the sweats, adjusting my outfit and reapplying my lipstick. I heard the CD players stop before his song, Bad Bad Girlfriend by Nickelback, started blaring through the speakers. Taking another deep breath I strutted into the living room clearing my mind of where I was, who was in front of me and why I was doing this. Swaying my hips to the music I began running my hands up and down my body seductively. The routine was the same, and I was thankful for it. He thought that this song was fitting…smug bastard. I knew that by the time that I got down to the g-string and bra there would be at least 1-2 men jacking off in front of me. This is why I usually kept my eyes closed. As I began to slip off my bra the music snapped off.

Opening my eyes I looked up. Joe was standing smirk on his face surrounded by 5 men that I didn't really know. Mooch, Joe's cousin, was there as always and a few friends from outside of the Burg where there. I kept my hands over the cups of my bra trying to maintain some sort of decency.

"Take it off, Cupcake." Joe demanded. I looked up at him, confusion and terror ripping through my body.

"What?" I asked quietly. I looked around the room. I had never been told to "perform" like this in front of more than one person.

"Do it, Bitch." Joe snarled, taking a step forward. Fear shot through me, and I dropped my bra to the ground. "All of it." He spoke again. Squeezing my eyes shut I forced my shaking hands down to my hips removing my g-strings dropping them on the floor next to my bra. I felt Joe step next to me, and grab my face in his hand. "Open your fucking eyes."

My eyes shot open and I stared into his eyes. I used to think they were soft and romantic. He used to express love and passion through his eyes, but now it is nothing but hate and violence. I could feel the tears prickling at the corner of my eyes, and my throat began to constrict.

"You are going to keep them open tonight, Cupcake." He whispered, leaning down and biting the junction of my neck and shoulder. "Tonight, we are going to do something different." I swear my heart stopped for a moment. I spared a glance at the other men in the room again. They had all began to undress.

"Joe?" I asked, my voice almost completely betraying me.

"Yes." He said firmly, taking my arm and dragging me towards the group of men. "All of them."

He stopped feet away from the men, who at this time were nude, except for a few wearing black socks or stained wife-beaters, and stroking their cocks while they stared at me. I sobbed softly, trying to regain a blank face. There was no way that I was going to be able to refuse not without being beaten and then taken by force.

"Have at her, boys." Joe said, throwing me down at their feet before motioning to me with his hand. "Just mind the face. It's her money. There are condoms in the vase by the sofa. I'm not going to be responsible for you getting something from this slut. She fucks mercenaries for God's sake."

I slammed my eyes shut again, forcing my brain into a calm place and tried to ignore the things happening to my body. Hands were groping, pinching and slapping at my flesh. Slopping kisses were forced upon me, tongues lapping disgustingly at my skin. I gasped painfully as fingers slammed into my core. I could feel myself tearing from their forcefulness.

"Oh yeah." A scratchy male voice grumbled near my ear. "You like that cunt…want more don't you."

I finally reached Denial land when I was penetrated. I could feel the pain my body was going through, feel the hands kneading my flesh painfully, and hear the vulgar requests they were giving me; but I was not there. My body was on auto-pilot adhering to the commands as they were given and complying without complaint. Hands grasped my thighs as they positioned me to be penetrated by two men at once. I struggled for a moment before a hand connected with my face.

"Rowdy Bitch aren't you? Like it rough, huh?" A gravely male voice spat in my ear. I stilled and allowed the onslaught digging myself deeper into my subconscious. It seemed like hours before the pounding stopped and I felt my body slide broken to the floor with a thud. I was covered in filth, and my own blood and tears. I could hear Joe offer his shower upstairs to his "guests" before leaning down to speak to me.

"Get the fuck up!" He yelled. "Get your nasty ass out of my house and make sure no one sees your trifling ass leave."

I nodded, trying to lift myself up to leave. My whole body was fighting the movements, my muscles quivering from shock and the abuse I had received.

"Get the FUCK UP!" Joe screamed again, this time hauling me up by my hair and dragging me into the kitchen and throwing my clothes onto the counter. "Get your clothes on and get out!"

Thankfully he propped me up against the kitchen counter where I was able to slip my sweats on and toss the rest of my things into my purse. I slowly scrambled, as my body was fighting all movement, to the door. I felt Joe's hand grasp my hair and pull my head back to look him in the face.

"Tell Manoso that I expect my money by tomorrow. I'm sure he can come up with a fair price." He laughed. "Clean yourself up and I will see you on Friday." He then pitched me out the back door where I landed with a sickening crunch on my face. I tasted blood and knew that I was not going to be able to hide tonight's brutal assault tomorrow. I could hear Joe's maniacal laughter as I crawled towards the garage where I had parked the SUV.

Unlocking the doors I crawled into the cab, being careful not to get blood (or anything else) on the interior. My vision was blurring and my head ached. I knew that driving wasn't a good idea, but had to get home. I pulled out and slowly made my way away from the house, praying that I made it back to my apartment before I passed out.

I stopped at a red light and glanced down at the clock on the dash. It read 5am. Making it to my apartment complex, I parked next to the dumpster and slid out, holding onto the side of the SUV for dear life. The apartment complex door seemed so far away. I contemplated just sleeping in the SUV, but knew that if Ranger had driven by and seen me there I wouldn't be able to hide anything from him. Taking a deep breath I hitched my purse up on my shoulder and took a step forward. Pain shot through me and I collapsed onto the pavement cursing and crying.

I jumped, hearing a door slam and footsteps on the pavement further into the parking lot.

"Bonita?" A familiar voice whispered, as it neared. I looked up terror once again shooting through me.

"Hector?" I whispered, more to myself, but he still nodded a soft smile sliding into place. He reached for his cell phone and my heart leapt. "NO! Don't!" He stopped, frozen mid-dial.

"No?" He knelt down next to me, phone still in hand. "Why no?"

"Please, just let me go to my apartment. I'm fine. Ranger doesn't need to…he can't see…Please Hector…I can't. "

"Shhhh….Shhhh..Mi Bonita…I no call. I help you up." He reached out his hands, waiting a moment to gauge my reaction. I nodded, lifting my arms up around his neck. He pulled me up to his chest and carried me to my apartment. He placed me gently on the sofa and knelt down in front of me taking my hands in his. "Bonita, what happened? Who did this?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." I said tersely, fighting more tears from falling.

"Estaphina." He said sternly. "Don't lie to me."

I looked up into his eyes. Hector had always been the scariest of the Merry Men, but the moment you look into his eyes you see how beautiful of a person he really is. "I can't tell you. I'm sorry, but I can't."

"Then forgive me." He said, pulling out his cell phone and texting quickly. I lunged forward trying to grab the phone from his hands. He wrapped his arms around me and finished his text while I struggled for control.

"How could you do that? I hate you!" I screamed at him, beating my hands on his chest, arms and face. "Why? He is going to hate me. I'm disgusting! It's all your fault and I will NEVER forgive you! GET OUT!"

He simply tightened his grasp on me and speaking softly to me in Spanish. I reached desperately for his gun, hoping if anything to scare him into letting me go. There was no way out. Panic started to seep in and I began screaming and sobbing as if I was walking to my death. This was my death. I thought. My heart is dead. I felt the familiar tingle on the back of my spine and I knew he was getting close. I struggled harder, desperate to hide…to get away.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed, hitting and punching anything I could. I needed to get away. "Please just let me go. Please…please..I will do anything." I was begging. Hector stiffened. "I swear to you, anything you want I will do. Anything. Just please…don't let him see me."

The door clicked and I knew it was over.

"I fucking hate you!" I screamed, trying to cover my face with my hands, pulling with everything I could at his arms to get free. "I hate you!" I glared up at Hector's face and gasped. Tears were pooling at his eyes, but his face was blank. I stopped struggling and sunk against him deflated as the door slammed open.

"Babe?"

***Please don't hate me. I will try to have another chapter up as soon as I can.**