Boats Against the Current || Theomione || Post-War AU || Part VII

They planned for two days.

Theo told Hermione everything not-overly personal he could think of concerning Draco from fifth year until he left for France. Hermione built arithmancy tables, made a partially amused, partially skeptical face when Theo found some Divination supplies that had been stored away, and they tried to calculate their course of action within the parameters of reason and their skills.

Theo was very confident while Hermione was slightly less so, but they agreed on the steps they would take towards exposing Draco's attraction to both of them.

But first they had to verify, without a doubt, that he was interested in the two of them. Theo's idea had made his usually brazen witch blush for an hour before her Gryffindor-ness kicked in.

He'd have to use this seducing Draco nonsense to explore her mild exhibitionism fetish in more depth. Theo didn't have any personal interest in actually shagging in public, but the idea of trying not to get caught was more than tempting. Especially when their goal was to get caught. How Draco reacted would tell them all they needed to know.

To make sure their set up was as genuine as possible, Hermione agreed to follow Theo's lead. They went to the kitchen and made tea like normal, except that Theo was feeling the wards, waiting for Draco to leave his room.

Once tea was ready, Hermione leaned against the island with her back to the door while she sipped. Theo leaned against the counter across from her, beside the oven, and was the first to finish his drink. After putting his cup in the sink, he moved in front of her, caging his against the island while he lazily nuzzled her neck. She was using the mug he'd charmed for her again and one of the three phrases he'd been keeping an eye out for had finally appeared on the charmed ceramic, solidifying his belief that pursuing whatever they might have with Draco wouldn't damage his relationship with Hermione in the least. If anything, they'd all be stronger for it in the end. And if they were wrong, she was just as much his as he was hers, so it wouldn't matter in the long run. But they both wanted Draco too.

Thankfully, if anyone knew what Draco looked like when he wanted something, lusted for something, it was Theo.

Draco Malfoy was just as interested in Theo as he had been when he'd begrudgingly followed his mother to Paris for 'space' and the torch he'd lit for Hermione in sixth year was still burning strong.

All Theo had to do now was get Draco in a position where he either had to admit his feelings or fail to lie about them and then they could figure out how to move forward. Preferably forward would include mattress gymnastics, but Theo tried not to get ahead of himself.

The lazy nuzzles on her neck morphed into kisses before Theo had consciously decided to change tactics and graduated to playful nips by the time the wards indicated that Draco was leaving his room. At some point, Hermione put her mug down and Theo wrapped his arms around her waist with a firm, affectionate squeeze.

Getting lost in her wasn't exactly the most difficult part of his plan.

He took his time working his way back up to her jaw before kissing her properly, savoring the hints of bergamot on her tongue. Without separating their lips, he lifted Hermione onto the island and settled between her legs. It took a small amount of effort on Theo's part not to smirk when he remembered to check the wards again and realized Draco was right where he wanted him.

Hermione tangled her fingers in the hairs at the nape of his neck and Theo all but purred at the contact. He retaliated by pulling her hips closer and tormented them both by grinding against her.

"Theo," she whined before she moved and ran her teeth along his neck.

"Yes, pretty witch?" He asked as he pressed his lips to her cheek, remembering that she was only wearing knickers under his quidditch jersey just before his fingers found the lacy edge against her thigh.

"You're teasing," she pouted.

"I'm sorry," he said, though they both knew he didn't really mean it. He tugged halfheartedly at the edge of her boyshorts. "Can I convince you to forgive me?"

He only just managed to remember that he was fond of that particular set of knickers when she lifted her hips for him, and didn't tear them off like he was anxious to do. He did take his wand from the pocket of his sweatpants so he could make quick work of the rest of their pajamas, but for his own benefit – and because he knew it was probably doing things to Draco – he didn't vanish the jersey Hermione wore. She noticed what he'd done and smiled.

"What is it with you and this jersey?" she teased, and he smugly noted that she was breathless.

"Suits you," he said simply, pulling their bodies together again as he found a particularly sensitive spot on her neck and nipped it.

They both jolted at the unobstructed friction and for a time, Theo was far too preoccupied to remember his disillusioned, not-so-secretly-peeping-ex-boyfriend. When he did remember Draco again, Hermione was all but dozing in his arms and Theo was debating whether or not he had the energy and focus to just apparate them back to bed. Deciding not to risk it, Theo spelled the kitchen clean, his pajama bottoms back on, and sent Hermione's knickers to the laundry.

When he collapsed into bed beside his witch and checked the wards again, Draco was back in the shower and Theo smiled.

Let's see how long it takes you to realize you've already lost the game, Malfoy, Theo thought to himself.

He was still smiling when he fell asleep.


Draco stared at the ceiling, his thoughts tangled and spinning and refusing to latch on to even an ounce of logic, as he tried not to focus on anything at all.

He didn't want to think about the kitchen. Or Theodore. Or Granger. Or Granger's admittedly lovely arse. Or the sodding jersey.

Sighing, he rose, ran the towel not wrapped around his waist over his head to catch the last stray droplets of water from his hair, and moved to his closet. He rolled his eyes at his ferret themed t-shirts, picking a plain black one instead, and suddenly remembered the stash of otter garbage under his bed.

He smirked as he finished getting dressed, and retrieved his cheeky supply of presents.

Theo and Granger couldn't, wouldn't, torment him unknowingly or otherwise without retribution.


Hermione stared at the object in her hand, unsure whether she should be confused or annoyed by the sudden appearance of the otter-shaped tea infuser that had suddenly appeared on the island. She wasn't sure how long she stood there trying to decide what to make of it, before Draco innocently wandered into the kitchen.

She fought a triumphant smirk as she, and he, realized she was in nothing more a button down of Theo's — with only one of the many buttons fastened, for appearance's sake — and the snowy white twin pair of Theo's favorite lace boyshorts. His expression didn't change, from what she could tell, but given Theo's little stunt earlier in the week, she was fairly confident in the fact that he was probably having some furious internal meltdown.

Assuming what Theo had deduced from Draco's voyeurism was correct, of course.

"Morning, Granger," Draco said evenly, and she gave him props for speaking first. "Trying to make up for all those years you spent hiding under the black potato sacks we had for robes, I take it?"

"That's one way to look at it," she said, then shrugged. "Bras are overrated, if I'm being perfectly honest."

Draco made a noncommittal humming noise in the back of his throat and bit back a drawling 'I'd noticed.'

"Pants too," she added as an afterthought. "They're just plain uncomfortable, really."

"Theo's turning you into a nudist," Draco said. "Careful. He'll pull some muggle mind magic shite on you and you'll burn your whole closet down."

Hermione squinted at his back while he started pulling tea things out of the cabinet. "Muggle mind magic?" She asked, then tried not to grin. "You mean psychology?"

"That garbage," he affirmed. "He's wicked manipulative that one."

"He'd spare my knickers," she said. "Even if he got me to burn the rest. He's oddly attached to them. I should probably be concerned about that."

Draco snorted. "No. He's just an arrogant prick. Likes his trophies."

Hermione made a noncommittal humming noise of her own. "Is he now? Wonder where he got that from."

"Cheek doesn't suite you, Granger."

She tossed the otter tea infuser onto the counter next to him and made her way towards the door. "I've been told otherwise, but I suppose that was a different context."

Hermione left, tried to decide if she'd actually felt his eyes on her as she'd done so, and wondering if his gaze had wandered where Theo's usually did.

Either way, he hadn't snarked back, and Theo considered that a win when she relayed the meeting to him later.


Draco glared at the box outside his door, finding himself tempted to set fire to the perfectly tied, Slytherin-green bow wrapped around it. He had a feeling he knew what was inside it, and if Granger thought she knew what she was getting into, he had plenty of ways to prove her and her cheeky not-so-little-arse wrong.

Naturally, the brat and Theodore were out, probably on their customary Thursday night date, so he'd have to time his retaliation a bit more carefully so she wouldn't realize he'd been prepared for hers.

The witch had given him a flask engraved with a ferret and a bloody ferret apron.

"Game on, Granger," he muttered. "Game. On."


Hermione was glaring at the items before her on the bed while Theo continued to laugh himself breathless into his pillow, and reached for her laptop.

"This is stupid," she muttered. "Who does he think he is?"

"You're participating," Theo pointed out, his eyes full of mirth.

"I'm making a point!"

Theo snorted. "And he bought you an otter apron in return. Now put that on, nothing else, and go bake him something."

"To hell with that," she huffed. "Prick thinks he's clever."

"He is clever. Particularly with his prick."

"Yeah well he can earn the right to prove it."

Theo snorted again, and shuffled over so he could peer over her shoulder. Then promptly lost it again and went back to wheezing into his pillow.

"You're a little shite, you know that?" he asked her when she closed the lid a while later.

She smiled, climbed on top of him, and nuzzled his neck. "I thought I was a cheeky little shite."

Theo hummed and felt a smirk tug at the edges of his mouth. "Are you? Prove it."


It took every ounce of self-control Hermione possessed not to stop dead when she entered Theo's — and Draco's, technically — flat with her weekend bag. Draco was on the couch, alone, with a book and a glass of wine.

It was the wine glass that threw her.

"Afternoon, Granger," he said nonchalantly. "Package for you in the kitchen."

She glared at the wineglass, one part of the frosted, engraved, set she'd bought him as retaliation for the otter apron and small collection of shirts he'd given her. She'd charmed the engravings personally, only now the dancing ferret felt like it was mocking her instead of him.

She resisted the urge to remind Malfoy that she didn't live at the flat, and that no mail addressed to her from an outside source would be sent to Theo's address, but the mistake seemed too obvious. They hadn't openly acknowledged their petty warfare since it began, which made her think it might be a trap to get her to admit to something.

Like having an ulterior motive, which she did.

"Cheers," she said instead, moving towards the kitchen.

"There's more wine, as well," he said. "Clean glasses by the sink."

She ground her teeth, ignoring the box that was absolutely from him and undoubtedly full of more otter paraphernalia in favor of glaring at the ferret wineglasses drying on a towel next to the sink.

Without Theo to translate, Hermione wasn't sure if she was being played, had been found out, or if Malfoy was simply acknowledging her last move in their convoluted game of frenemy chess.

So instead of responding, she made herself a glass of wine with one of his new glasses, adjusted her bag so she could carry her box to Theo's room, and left the kitchen without a word.


"You two are going to kill me before we get him in bed," Theo said, his voice thick after spending the last half hour laughing at Hermione's irritation. "Please just bake him something naked and move this along."

"No," she said petulantly, scanning the browser open on her laptop with determined swiftness. "Draco Malfoy can sod right the hell off."

Somehow, Theo managed to keep his face straight as he said, "You don't like your pillow?"

Hermione glared at the offending object, a simple square vanity pillow with an otter playing in a stream, only her name was stitched into the top in gold cursive thread.

"No."

Theo made a noise that was probably supposed to be falsely disappointed, but was overladen with too much amusement to be effective. "I think Keep Calm and Love Otters is a great t-shirt, honestly. He could be doing a lot worse."

Hermione glanced up from her screen again just long enough to glare at him.

"Okay, so maybe the Got Otters? shirt is better."

"I can go back to my flat for the weekend, if you'd like," she muttered.

Theo chuckled. "No need to get feisty, Gryffindor mine, I'm only teasing. Found your next offensive gift?"

Hermione ventured to Google briefly and the slow smirk that curled her lips had Theo worried for Draco. She spun her laptop around for his benefit and Theo almost choked on air.


"I swear to fucking..." Draco growled under his breath, glaring down at the items on his bed. "You're playing with fire, Granger."

The hoodie and it's matching shirt mocked him, but he put them both on anyway.

Got Ferrets? indeed.

The brat should be thankful she was off limits. She wouldn't be able to sit for a week if she was his.


Draco pretended not to watch Hermione precede Theo out of the flat wearing her 'It's an otter thing, you wouldn't understand' t-shirt while he sipped from his wine glass. Because if Granger was going to keep getting him functional ferret shite, he was going to make a point of using the damn things out of spite.

"Oi," Theo called from the door, gaining Draco's begrudging attention. "You want to come?"

Draco might've used one of the many innuendos that ran through his mind if Granger was still in the room, but she'd already slipped out of sight. Her reaction was the only one to make his effort worth it, anyway.

"It's your date, Theodore," he said blandly instead. "Just because I've taken to spending evenings in doesn't mean I need a pity invite."

"Who said it's a pity invite?" Theo asked.

Draco narrowed his eyes and twisted on the couch so he wouldn't have to crane his neck as far to shoot him a glare. "Don't play dumb, Theo, it doesn't suit. Why else in Salazar's name would you invite me out with you and your girlfriend?"

Theo shrugged and said, "Wanted to make sure you knew you were qualified, is all," as he pulled the door shut behind him.

By the time Draco decided that he hadn't heard Theo incorrectly, it was too late to follow them without making an arse of himself.

"Git," he muttered.

He'd just have to call Theo's bluff another time.


There was a bag waiting outside Theo's bedroom door when they returned. Theo smirked at the design, picked it up when Hermione pretended not to notice it, and carried it into the room with them. Draco had wandered off to bed while they were out, or, more likely, he was in his room, fully awake and listening out for screams of outrage.

The otter print on the tote was cute, or so Theo thought. The wee thing had glasses at a cap, and looked a bit like a cabbie, if he was being perfectly honest. Little bugger even had a tie.

Naturally, the tote held another gift of its own.

"Oh, he charmed it," Theo said as the plush toy started shifting about in the bag. "Look at it, baby, it's cute."

It was light greyish brown and Draco had charmed it to be more realistic than Theo imagined it had looked when purchased. The otter toy managed to climb out of the bag and run across the floor to a begrudgingly amused Hermione before Theo managed to snort at the absurdity of Draco's newest jab.

"He wore the hoodie," Hermione said petulantly, glaring down at the toy. "I could've been much meaner. We have half a matching wardrobe now that he has 'Got animal' shite too."

"I might've invited him to join us before we left earlier," Theo said innocently. "He probably thinks I'm bluffing."

Hermione's eyes narrowed. "By 'invited' do you mean you told him we wouldn't be opposed to a shag and snuggle or did you pull some backhanded Slytherin shite?"

"Entirely backhanded Slytherin shite," Theo confirmed. "I regret nothing."

Hermione sighed and flopped face first onto the bed. "This is never going to work," she muttered, her voice muffled further by the duvet.

"Ah, pretty witch, don't you see?" Theo said with a grin. He sat beside her on the bed. "It already is."


The last innocent gift Hermione was willing to buy had been another t-shirt, which she mixed into Draco's clean laundry before leaving the stack of clothing outside his door. But she was out of ideas. The last thing she had was another coffee mug, but Theo told her it was far too obvious in nature, and should be saved for when Draco made his intentions a little more obvious.

Hermione wasn't certain she believed him, but the mug stayed hidden away nonetheless, and she really hoped Draco would take the bloody hint already because this game was getting ridiculous.

"You're shopping this time," she said quietly when she returned to Theo's room. "I'm not reducing myself to tacky gifts just to battle Draco the Dually Jealous Dragon."

Theo was snickering as he pulled her laptop from her lap to his. "I think you're overestimating him," he said. "If he next return gift isn't a challenge, I'll get him another stuffed animal or something. Just because he doesn't know we're winning doesn't mean we aren't winning."

Hermione gave him a doubtful look and he leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Ye of little faith. Cheer up, pretty witch. If he wasn't being dense, he'd have figured it out by now."'

Draco proved Theo right mere hours later when Hermione found a small box sitting unattended on the kitchen island. She was staring at the bracelet inside when Theo found her.

"That prat," he muttered. "Not even original. I already gave you a bracelet."

"This has some heavy Victorian meaning behind it, doesn't it?" She asked, eyeing the array of diamonds and gem stones. She couldn't even bring herself to glare at the single, small otter charm.

Theo hummed an affirmative. "So much for the surprise. Not that I was really holding you to mine."

She turned and gave him a look as she held up the wrist with the bracelet he'd given her at Christmas. "What do these mean?"

Looking bashful suddenly, Theo shrugged. "Y'know. The usual."

Her gaze didn't waver and Theo sighed in defeat. "Ardent desire and intent to propose in the future, traditionally," he admitted.

"And in these minutely modern times?" She pressed.

"Ardent desire, claiming territory, deep affection, and more of a 'I think I'd rather like to marry you someday' than a 'I'm proposing in a fortnight.'"

Hermione nodded and regarded the bracelets again with tinted cheeks. "I'm not much for jewelry, but I suppose two isn't too obnoxious."

Before she could even reach for the otter bracelet, Theo had a hand on her hip and another on her cheek, using both to turn her towards him. His mouth covered hers, echoing his claims of ardent desire and affection for several blissful moments.

"They mean 'I love you'," Theo murmured when they finally parted for air. "The bracelets mean we love you."

"What do I buy then?" She asked, her voice just as breathless as his. "What's the equivalent of a courtship bracelet for the male half...third, whatever."

"Wear them," he said. "Right side for returned affection, but not as strongly. Left for equal or greater affection. Wrist or ankle. "

Hermione's expression soured with offense. "You get to lay a claim, but I don't?"

Smiling, Theo lifted Draco's otter bracelet from the box and pointed out the peacock charm directly across the chain from the otter. He also pointed to the bracelet he'd gotten her and traced the knot with his thumb. "Pretty witch, you're wearing them. Wearing us. These are just as much your claim as they are ours."

Hermione took Draco's bracelet and crouched down to fasten it on her left ankle, standing before Theo could get too attached to the idea of extracurricular activities.

"Right then. Now what?" She asked.

"Now we put on a pot of tea, grab the mug you got him, and wait for the prick to come back. If he gets back and admits defeat at a reasonable hour, we drag him out for dinner. If its late, we drag him to bed and try for brunch in the morning."

Theo stepped back so Hermione could move around him. Her reply came from his bedroom as she fetched the coffee mug. "I've been trying to figure out the logistics of this whole triad thing," she said, her tone colored with embarrassment. Theo couldn't help a smirk that she glared at when she returned. "I mean, it's a bit awkward, isn't it?"

Theo bit his lip to keep from laughing and the blush on Hermione's cheeks darkened. "I'm serious!" She snapped.

"I know," he said, trying for gentle instead of mocking. "I'm just not quite sure what part of the concept you're struggling with."

Hermione busied herself with finding a post-it note and a marker rather than looking Theo in the eye, which only amused him further. "It's not like we can...at least, not all at once—"

"Yes we can."

"Cannot."

Theo rolled his eyes. "If the focus is on you, yes we can. It would probably be more trouble than it's worth to try and have anyone except you in the middle."

She gave him a look and he wondered if she was beginning to realize that Slytherin wasn't the house of prudes. "Pretty witch, don't pretend you've forgotten our little sexual discovery adventure a few weeks ago. You're more than capable of handling both of us."

"At the same—" she began with a squeak, cutting herself off with a shake of her head. "Nevermind..."

Theo smiled, came forward to kiss one of her burning cheeks, and chuckled. "He's going to love helping me corrupt you." He sighed wistfully and snorted when he saw what she'd written on her folded post-in note: Ferret on the side that would greet Draco when he went searching for a teacup and Checkmate when he unfolded the note.

"We could work on your research while we wait for him," Theo suggested. "Lest we get distracted by each other."

Hermione nodded, grateful for the change of subject. "That works. I think we might be close to verifying the arithmancy results..."

Theo suppressed a smile and asked, "You know Draco would probably shag you into next month if he knew what your research was about, don't you?"

She didn't look at him as she put the coffee mug in the cabinet with its note attached and stalked into the living room. Theo laughed at quietly as he could while he made tea.


Draco eyed the mess in the living room with a curious frown. The organized clutter of paper, notebooks, sticky notes and colorful tabs announced Granger's presence before he spotted her laying on the rug glaring at a leather bound book full of what appeared to be arithmancy equations. Theo had taken up residence on the couch with several books and appeared to be taking notes from them.

"Dare I ask?" He drawled as he shut the door and hung up his cloak.

"Tea's on," Theo said absently. "And you'd probably be interested, yes."

"Yeah?" Draco called back and he headed into the kitchen. He almost missed what Granger said when he spotted the note in the mug cabinet.

"I'm researching magical origins."

Draco shook his head, ignoring the mug momentarily. "The sacred twenty-eight have that pretty well documented Granger, it can't possibly be that diffi—"

"In muggleborns," she added.

Draco's hand froze half-way to the new mug.

The amount of time and energy and cleverness it would take to actually solve that age-old mystery was mind numbing. But if anyone could do it Granger could.

He took the note from the mug and raised a brow at the short, cheeky message she'd left him. Then he made his tea, in the new mug, and wondered if she knew that it's inscription of 'Fuzzy Noodle Love' implied a plethora of things under the circumstances. Assuming Theo had explained the bracelet's meaning, of course. Which he probably hadn't.

"That's a significantly harder task," he said finally, tossing the post it as he went back to the living room. "Can't say I'm surprised you've taken it on, Granger."

"She's more or less solved it," Theo said from the couch. "Just verifying results now."

Draco stared at the distracted witch on the floor, but his next question died in his throat.

She was wearing the bracelet. On her left ankle.

She was wearing the bracelet.

He whirled on Theo. "What the hell are you playing at, mate?" He snapped. "Are you having a laugh or is this some backwards muggle mind magic shite to try and get me to migrate elsewhere? If you want this place to yourself all you'd have to do is ask. She's practically moved in as is!"

Theo amused smirk made Draco grip his mug tighter in an attempt to resist the urge to reach for his wand.

"You're an idiot," said Theo. "An honest to Merlin, certified, blind, idiot."

"I hope you're not too attached to his face, Granger," Draco said, keeping a glare trained on Theo. "I'm sorely tempted to hex it off."

"Speaking purely from my own perspective here," Theo said before Hermione could chime in, "I think she'll forgive you as long as she can still sit on it."

Draco wasn't able to quell that mental image quite as quickly as he'd wanted to, and judging by the glitter in Theo's eyes, he was well aware of the effect he'd caused.

"I'd still prefer you didn't hex it," Hermione said distractedly, still frowning at her equations. "It's a lovely face."

"It is," Draco agreed. "But he ought to have explained our little game to you before it got this far."

She finally looked up. "Are we acknowledging it now?" She asked. "I wasn't sure how long we were going to pretend we weren't exchanging animal-themed gifts."

"You really think I didn't tell her what the bracelets mean, don't you?" Asked Theo, his tone mocking. "Idiot."

"Call me an idiot one more time," Draco challenged.

"Boys, please," Hermione said quietly. "This is far more tedious than I expected it'd be."

"He's the one being dense," said Theo. "He thinks we're trying to kick him out. It's hilarious."

Draco glanced between the two of them with growing confusion and a faint, foolish thread of hope. "She wouldn't be wearing it if she knew what it meant," he said weakly.

Theo's expression softened. "Idiot," he said, softly this time. "You're not unlovable. I spent a long time trying to get that through your head."

"Until you quit trying because it wouldn't stick," Draco reminded him, trying not to sound bitter.

"I'm not stubborn enough to combat your insecurities," Theo said. "She is. Bonus, she likes both of us. And we like each other. And we like her. Problem solved."

Draco's stomach twisted. "Those bracelets do not mean like—"

"I know that," Hermione interrupted, holding Draco's gaze unwaveringly. "I know what they mean, Draco."

Ignoring the way his name sounded rolling from her lips, he said "And you're wearing it."

"And you're using your fuzzy noddle love mug." She gave him a small, nervous smile and shrugged. "Checkmate."

Draco stared at her until Theo spoke up again. "Now that that's out of the way, snog already. It's my turn to watch."

Draco's eyes widened as Hermione blushed and looked away. He rounded on Theo. "You—"

Theo's eyes were laughing at him again. "Yes. She didn't know until after, but oh yes, Malfoy. I absolutely did. You're predictable."

Draco knew his face was red and cursed his complexion when Theo started to chuckle. "Does she know about sixth year?" He taunted.

"A bit," Theo admitted. "I didn't exactly go into detail about wanking to ideas of her because it's weirder spoken aloud, but she knows we were both very interested. I omited some of the 'sharing' fantasies. Seemed a bit ironic and redundant under the circumstances."

Draco ground his teeth together. "Theodore, stop talking, or I swear to Merlin I'll—"

"Take us out to dinner, come home, and shag until the wee hours of the morning?" Theo interrupted. "That's a lovely idea, Draco, wish I'd thought of it myself. But seriously, I'm calling voyeur dibs on round one."

"I'm ignoring you now," Draco announced, stubbornly moving to sit as close to Hermione as her scattered research would allow. "We can discuss this more when jackarse over there stops being a piece of shite. I want to see this Arithmancy."

"If you're trying to use maths and research as a cold shower, I'll remind you that listening to her be a swot has been one of your prick ticks since we were fifteen," said Theo.

Draco stuck to his word and ignored Theodore entirely, raising a brow at a still blushing Hermione. "Alright, little otter, tell me where muggleborns come from."

Hermione glanced helplessly between a smirking Theo and a stubbornlystraight faced Draco, more confused than she'd ever been in her life, and hesitantly started passing her research notes to Draco.


Choosing to ignore Theodore and the entirety of whatever nonsense was happening between the three of them, Draco put down Hermione's arithmancy workbook with care and reverence. If he strictly focused on the theories she'd created, he could trick himself into ignoring the urge to snog her senseless.

"Circe and Morgana," he muttered. "This would make muggleborns treasures. You, Granger, a treasure to our culture."

"She already is," Theo pointed out.

"I'm content with 'not an abomination,' personally," said Hermione, ignoring Theo's comment. Both boys winced. "Even if this isn't wholly accurate."

Draco shook his head. "Think about it. Pureblood elitism didn't really stick until the most historically recent periods of witch burnings. Before that, there's hardly any documented blood prejudice. Magic was sacred across the board," he said. "Let's say, theoretically, that seventy-percent of muggleborns are descendants of squibs. So seventy-percent of muggleborns aren't actually muggleborn. They're a dormant magical line revived and given the chance to start anew. The remaining thirty-percent, by your calculations, are literally chosen by whatever semi-sentient presence magic has in nature across the entire world, the baseline of magic that exists even in the muggle world, and they start a brand new line of magic. A pure line. Which makes sense. Magic is literally giving the established magical community the ability to not be inbred."

"And," Theo chimed, "According to the little test I just ran, using pretty witch's findings, she's part of that theoretical thirty-percent. Which —" Theo grabbed of the thicker, heavier tombs from the many surrounding him on the couch. "— according to pureblood history and magical lore, means that those veins of gold in your eyes are a sign of that."

Hermione gave Theo an odd look. "My eyes don't have gold in them."

"Yes they do," Theo and Draco said simultaneously. Draco ignored Theo's pointedly raised brow.

"It's a marker," Theo continued. "Something only people with compatible magical lines can see. People don't really think about it anymore or pay as much attention to eye color as they used to. The more intense someone's eyes appear to you, the more aligned your magic is to that person."

Hermione's frown deepened. "So your eyes aren't really that blue?" She said.

"Probably not," Draco muttered begrudgingly.

"And yours aren't silver," she continued slowly, glancing at Draco.

"Couldn't tell you," said Theo. "They're borderline metallic to me."

Draco let out a frustrated sigh. "Metallic is a good word for it."

Hermione blushed again and stared at her lap. "Well then."

"Are we gonna talk about this like grownups at some point?" Theo asked. "I know it's unorthodox, but for Salazar's sake, we've all been thinking about it. I'm not saying it won't be tricky to figure out, but we'll never even do that if we don't start somewhere."

"What makes you think this isn't a disaster waiting to happen?" Draco asked harshly. "What if things don't balance out easily? What if this crashes and burns? And what about her?" He inclined his head towards Hermione. "We're a hell of a lot more invested in this than she is, Theodore."

"Just because we've wanted her longer doesn't mean we want her more," Theo parried. "It's a group effort, Draco. We can buff out the logistics and set boundaries as needed. I imagine we'll have to nurture our relationships separately and the whole for the sake of sanity." He shrugged. "We'll figure it out."

"Structure," Hermione chimed. "To an extent. Date nights. Alone time. Group time. Duo time. Communication."

"A lot of communication," Draco muttered. "We aren't even starting on even playing fields."

"Flirting by stuffed animal warfare isn't efficient? Who knew," Theo quipped. "You two need to actually start dating maybe. I'm aware of and prepared for that curve. Draco and I have things to revisit and make peace with. Hermione and I have a relationship to maintain."

"S'lot of work," Draco muttered.

Hermione exhaled slowly. "So," she said. "Where do we start?"

"Dinner?" Theo suggested. "Somewhere muggle, preferably. Or a grocery run and we eat in."

She shrugged. "Either is fine. I can help cook if it's something you've taught me how to make already."

At Draco's inquiring glance, Theo said, "What she lacks in natural culinary inclination she makes up for by being an excellent student."

Draco raised a brow. "Teaching her what I taught you?"

"You can cook?" Hermione asked, eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Your turn to teach," Theo said, flashing a grin. "How about this: I'll go to the grocery while you two sit here awkwardly for half an hour before one of you finally works up the courage to kiss the other."

Hermione rolled her eyes, but her tinted cheeks gave her away. Draco settled another glare in Theo's direction. "Piss off then."

"You do remember how snogging a girl works right? I'm happy to give another demonstration."

Hermione's halfhearted, slightly amused admonishment was interrupted by Draco's lips, and her plan to tell Theo to be nice was quickly forgotten. Unfortunately, Draco pulled back far too quickly and gave Theo a challenging look.

"Happy?"

"Very," said Theo. "Don't stop on my account."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Let's divide and conquer this time. Go get food, prick."

With a shit-eating grin, Theo got up, stretched, and worked his way around to Hermione for a slower, much more thorough snog. "I love you," he murmured.

"Love you," she said.

Theo purposefully ignored Draco, who scoffed. "So much for a group effort."

"You'll get a snog when you ask for it nicely," said Theo. "What am I getting at the store?"

Draco glanced at Hermione. "Pasties alright? Family recipe."

"S'fine," she muttered.

Theo was snickering as he left the flat and Draco's frustration finally fled long enough for discomfort and embarrassment to take its place.

"Can we try this again?" He asked. "This...disaster isn't how I..." He faltered. "It would've gone very differently if this hadn't deteriorated into ridiculousness."

"I'd like that," she said quietly. Her cheeks were still pink when he met her gaze. "I don't really know what we're doing here either, but if we all want it and work for it, then we should be able to have it, y'know?"

"Does that apply to a proper first snog?" He asked.

She smiled and, pulling her wand of her ponytail, set her research to reorganize itself. "It does."

He closed the distance between them much more gently the second time around and patiently acquainted himself with the feel of her until his lungs started to burn. "Clever little otter," he sighed. "What will all the old families think when they find out your magic is purer than theirs?"

"Nothing kind, I'd imagine," she said. "I don't really care what anyone outside this flat thinks, to be honest."

He gentle brushed his thumb over the bracelet on her ankle. "I think we've made that pretty clear." He chewed on the inside of his cheek, trying to fight a smirk. "So...did you like your presents?"

That familiar, indignant Gryffindor fire lit up the gold in her eyes as they narrowed. He opened his mouth to make another jab, but she lifted off the couch cushion she'd been sitting on and threw it at him, cutting him off.

"Barely dating and you're already abusing me," he said.

"I can throw that stupid pillow with my name on it at you, if you'd like," she said sweetly.

Feeling rather like a cat with a particularly pretty canary in pouncing range, Draco simply said, "Well, not if I get it first."

As he let Hermione sprint past him and get less than two proper strides of a head start before he followed, Draco wondered if Theo had figured out how easy it was to make a Gryffindor think that their sudden proximity to a bed and perfectly accommodating object of affection was simply a fortunate coincidence.

A/N: Hello, Hello! I was gonna split this into 2 parts because it's so long, but there wasn't a clean breaking point. That said, a ton happened in this chapter, so hopefully you guys can forgive me for the wait :) School and work are time leeches, but I do try to turn out as much as I can when I get time to focus on my fics for a bit.

I have only a vague direction for where the next chapter is headed, but I have somewhere to start, though I can't promise anything with update time. That said, what did you guys like about this chapter? I had fun with all of it, but I'd love to hear your favorite parts :)

xoxoxo

See you next time!