A/N Finally I can get back to what I want to be doing, which is writing. I don't own Supernatural or the song "Little Angel" by Bad Company. I want to thank all of you who review, who alert the story, who just stop by. Cyber pie for everyone! You ever think there's something going on with all the angel songs and even a movie this time? Is it part of a plan? Even maybe a Divine plan? (sing-song voice) I'll never tell! Anyway, please enjoy!
The Winds of Change
Chapter Seven:
"I Need an Angel"
Cas did not listen to Dean's angry rumblings. He held the hunter close as he flew. He dove through clouds that were lit from the shard of a moon glinting through crystals of ice and snow. His wings cut through the clouds, and the heat in them caused the ice that tried to stick, to melt. Nothing stopped his progress as he cleared the clouds, and he heard Dean gulp and felt him clutch convulsively at him, hiding his face against Cas' chest. Cas tightened his grip on the hunter. It was not…unpleasant.
He glanced back and was relieved to see there were no pursuers. He knew Dean was angry with him for putting him before Sam and Bobby, but Cas had back-up. The moment he'd seen the Heavenly light, he'd known Michael was coming. It wasn't until he caught Dean in Michael's armor that he knew how the archangel had found them. Gabriel and Balthazar had heard Cas' summons and responded.
He descended through the clouds and snow fell upon him as he slowed his speed and neared the ground. The moment they touched down, he released Dean.
"We must go inside," he told Dean.
"I'm not going anywhere with you!" Dean stalked a few feet, hunching his shoulders against the cold. He saw a sign: St. Michael's Church.
"Dean, go inside the church. NOW!" Cas was in no mood to coddle the hunter. Stakes were too high. "We have to get Michael's armor off you."
"You have to go back and get Sammy and Bobby, dammit!" Dean whirled on Cas and took menacing steps toward the angel.
"You are my charge," Cas explained as patiently as he could. Anger welled deep within him and he wondered why he felt such a human emotion. "You are my first responsibility…besides…"
Dean was up in his face now. The green eyes were charged with fury. "There's no excuse for this! You could've zapped all of us."
Cas' eyes changed to blue embers. "I wanted to split you up. Michael was not alone."
"You…left them to the mercy of a douche bag archangel!"
"No." Cas took a step back. For some reason, he wanted to punch Dean, and that wasn't like him at all. "I took you. Gabriel took Sam. Balthazar took Bobby." Cas' hand tightened on Dean's shoulder and pushed, propelling the stunned hunter toward the double wooden doors of the church. "Get inside. We have to get his armor off you."
Dean looked mollified, but Cas was in no mood to cut the hunter a break. He opened one door and Dean went meekly inside. Cas had to use his angel grace to remove the armor. He considered putting it on, but shrugged inside his head. If Michael wants it, he can come and get it. The bastard tricked me.
Dean was staring around at the stained glass windows of the church. "Cas, I…" A streetlight shone through one and prisms danced across his face.
"Not now," Cas ground between his teeth. "We have to go. We'll meet the others in the safe house my brothers have prepared."
"I owe you an apology," Dean began again. Of course, he paid no attention to Cas' mood.
"Yes, you do, but not now."
"Can't you just zap me there?" Dean gazed up at the ceiling and actually seemed to turn green when Cas unfurled his wings.
"I could, but I need to rest. Michael's armor was…difficult to get off you. We must go," Cas stated and led the hunter outside.
"Is the hideout in this state? Could you zap my baby here and we could drive?"
Fuming inside, Cas lifted off and held out his arms, scooping Dean into his embrace before the hunter could move.
"Aw, c'mon, Cas! I hate flying!"
Cas didn't listen. He took perverse pleasure when Dean held onto him for dear life. Cas loved to fly. It was a joy to him, a return to his roots, a melding of Earth to Heaven. The snow flurried about him and he smiled at the kiss of the cold flakes on his wings. He flew slowly, using the updrafts of air to help him glide. He was high enough so nobody could see him, but low enough for the cold to thrill through his vessel. He gazed down at Dean and saw his eyes were tightly shut and he smiled indulgently, all his anger forgotten. Dean looked so vulnerable, so scared. Cas dropped a kiss on Dean's head.
"Open your eyes, Dean," he told him a moment later as he landed in a snow drift. Dean walked away, leaned his hands on his knees and took deep breaths.
Cas stood there, snow pelting him. Dean glanced up at the sky and then hurried back to Cas. Cas' wings rose and sheltered the hunter. Dean gazed imploringly at the angel.
"I'm sorry, Cas."
"You're forgiven." Cas curved his wings about the forlorn hunter, pulling him into his arms. "You're cold."
Dean seemed to love the feeling of the soft, downy wings. He reached up and touched one of the flight feathers and Cas shuddered.
"Is that forbidden?"
Cas regarded Dean, tilting his head. Did the hunter know how adorable he found him? "You can touch them." Only you.
The feathers were designed in such perfection. As Dean touched them he found they were light but very strong, flexible but tough. They were different sizes and held a kaleidoscope of colors, like the wings of a black bird he'd seen when he was a kid out fishing with Bobby. It was so cold, the snow turned to hoar frost on the outer feathers. Dean gently brushed it off and noticed Cas shiver.
"Does…that turn you on?" Did I really just say that!
"We should go inside." Cas moved away from Dean and his wings folded and then disappeared. The cold blasted Dean. He'd kept on his T-shirt and jeans under the armor, but they didn't provide any protection from the wind.
Dean hurried inside and was met with a warm room with a fireplace. Sam and Bobby were huddled there and Dean crossed the room and slugged his little brother's shoulder in delight and shared a brief manly hug with Bobby.
"What took you so long, brother?" Gabriel turned from roasting a marshmallow. "Open," he bid Sam and Sam rolled his eyes but opened his mouth. Gabriel inserted the gooey, warm marshmallow onto Sam's tongue. "Yummy, yes?"
Sam's eyes widened, and Dean smirked. The marshmallow must've been hot on his tongue.
"Michael's armor was…difficult to get off." Cas said, giving his usual brief answer.
Balthazar looked keenly amused. "Trying on an archangel's armor." He moved suddenly and cuffed Dean on the back of the head. "What were you thinking?"
"Hey!" Dean put a hand to his head. "I didn't know it belonged to Michael. I never would've touched it if I knew!"
Gabriel's eyes sparkled in glee. "Oh, I see. You thought you were trying on Cas' armor." He turned to regard Cas, arching a blond brow. "And you weren't wearing it because…?"
Bobby chuckled. "We were fixing s'mores. Been waiting for you to get here for two hours."
Dean sent a heated gaze to Cas. Seriously? Two hours?
"Cas flew you the old-fash way." Gabriel tried to hand feed Sam a s'more and Sam moved back, crashing into the fireplace tool set complete with galley rail. The resulting clanging noises caused Dean to grimace and slap his hands over his ears.
"Watch it, ya klutz," Bobby said to the embarrassed Sam.
Dean let his hands fall to his side. He watched Cas take the other two angels to have a private confab with them and he wished he was in on it because something had his hunter's senses tingling. Why had Cas been wearing Michael's armor? What did he mean when he said he was tricked? How soon can I feel his wings again?
Dude!
I can't friggin' help it. Dean was back to arguing with his little voice.
After the confab was over, Dean saw Sam react to something Gabriel said and joined them. "What's up?"
"Godzilla here burned his tongue and I told him angel spit has magical powers."
"He said if he kissed me, it would get all better," Sam sputtered.
Dean closed his eyes a moment. Gabe's got a thing for Sam? Since when?
"You humans seem to buy into the ole kiss-it-and-make-it-better idea, so I thought I'd offer." Gabriel snapped his fingers and Sam's eyes got real big. Gabriel turned to wink at Dean. "Your baby bro takes all the fun out of things."
Sam stuck out his tongue and Dean nodded to let him know it was all healed. Dean saw Sam stare at Gabriel when the angel wasn't looking at him. "You know, Sammy, you could do a lot worse…like Ruby."
Sam got his bitch-face on. He liked to screw up his features into that tight mask, narrow his eyes and tower over Dean when he got defensive. "Where did that come from, Dean? You think I've been sneaking out on you? When would that have been? In between me and Bobby spending all our time trying to find a way to find Lilith?"
Dean raised his hands to placate Sam. "Don't get your boxers in a twist."
"I promised you I wouldn't meet Ruby, and I haven't!"
"I believe you."
"Although, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea." Sam seemed to warm to the idea. "You can't go with me, but maybe Cas can."
Jealousy flared in Dean. "Cas isn't…" He swallowed. "He needs to stay near me, I mean."
"I'll go with you, Sunshine." Gabriel wasn't very tall, but he made up for it in the size of his balls. "Keep you on the straight and narrow." He saluted Dean. "Archangel Gabriel, reporting for duty, sir!"
"Ruby might know where Lilith is." Sam was running with the idea now and Dean wanted to punch something.
"I don't want you going near her," Dean shouted.
Everyone else in the room, turned to see what was going on. Dean saw Bobby just shake his head at yet another Winchester confrontation. Cas stared into space. Dean wondered what he thought about when he did that. Balthazar pointedly ignored them.
"Cas isn't the only one who's going to do whatever he can to save you, Dean!" Sam matched Dean's volume. "I've seen you die!" He cast a glance to Gabriel. "Thanks to the Trickster here, I saw you die over and over and over." Sam's face crumpled and he grabbed Dean by the biceps. "I can't lose you again, Dean. I…can't."
"You won't," Dean assured him, although, from Cas' grim features, he didn't think this whole thing would turn out without him landing six feet under…again. But this time I won't come back.
As if the angel could read his mind, Dean saw Cas staring at him across the room and he saw the silent promise his angel made him.
Dean wondered if even Cas could pull off the miracle that was needed. He had an idea of how to flush out Lilith. Use me for bait. That way Sammy stays away from that skank Ruby and doesn't owe Gabriel.
Dean watched, his mind in a funk, as the others, except Cas, joined in the fun. Sam popped some corn in the fireplace and put on the movie City of Angels. Chick flick. Whoever lived here must be into chick flicks. Dean tried not to watch the movie, but found he was drawn in. He sank down on the floor. He was feeling strong and well, and it was hard to believe he was dying, but he knew he would weaken in time and feel the indescribable pain in his lungs.
Tagline:
What if angels walked among us, and one of them fell in love with us?
Even in the dark, illuminated only by the TV and the fireplace, Dean could feel Cas staring at him as he munched on popcorn and joshed at the romance of an angel for a human doctor.
Gabriel perched on the couch arm next to Sam and kept tossing popcorn in the air and catching it in his mouth. He and Sam had a contest going to see who would miss. Gabriel failed to catch his when something in the movie made him choke with laughter.
"This is the funniest movie I've seen since It's A Wonderful Life and that deal with 'every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings'." He made the motions of ringing a bell and then flapped his arms.
Dean didn't pay much attention to Gabriel's antics. He was busy trying not to stare back at Cas. His angel was over by the fireplace, and it was fascinating to see the way the fire played over his handsome features, casting light and shadow, turning the dark blue eyes to stars.
Geez, Dude! Why don't you ask him if he'd wear your ring?
Dean ignored his little voice. He glanced down at the silver ring he always wore. The firelight glinted off of it and, for some reason, Dean felt incredibly sad. When Dean was sad or mad or just being Dean, he drank. He got up and went into the kitchen, opened the fridge and grabbed a beer. He opened the beer and chugged down some of the cold brew, relishing it.
"Dean."
He jumped and almost dropped the bottle. "Cas, you gotta stop doing that!"
"What? Walk into the kitchen?" Cas looked extremely puzzled and Dean had to laugh.
"You need something?" Why did he follow me out here?
"I…need to leave. If Sam and Gabriel are going to see Ruby, it may stir things up. She may not know where Lilith is, but word will spread through her ranks she met with an angel and Sam Winchester."
Dean was alarmed. He put the beer on the kitchen counter. "How are they going to know? That means Lucifer will find Sam!" He paced a few steps. "This is a bad idea. I won't let Sammy go."
"You won't be able to stop him." Cas sighed and he moved his shoulders as if his now invisible wings weighed him down. "Dean, if you don't go along with this, Sam will wait until you are too weak to stop him." He sighed again and gazed at the floor. "At least Gabriel will be there to protect him."
Dean felt a huge lump form in his throat. "How long will you be gone?"
"At the rate your health is deteriorating, I can't be gone more than a day."
Something screamed in Dean's mind and his heart lurched in his chest. I don't want you to go, Cas.
"I don't want to leave you, but I must." Cas' head came up and he met Dean's searching gaze.
Dean just stood there forlornly. He didn't know what to say or do. Another parting between them. It hurt more each time. It was like he lost a part of himself every time Cas left.
"Stay strong for me," Cas rumbled.
Dean couldn't look up. Tears were in his eyes and he couldn't let Cas see them.
Grow a pair, Dude!
"Dean…" The voice was soft now.
"Cas…"
"The angel in that movie. He fell to be with her. I…would do the same for you."
Dean was so touched, words failed him. That seemed to be happening a lot these days. He wanted to do something; he wanted to show Cas his support. His eyes fell to the ring and he twisted it off and approached Cas.
"Cas, I want you to take this. I want to be with you, even if it's just…"
Cas placed a finger to Dean's lips. "We are not going to say good-bye, Dean. I will save you."
"Just…wear it. Please. For me."
Cas looked exasperated for a moment. "I can't. It contains your energy and I can't take the chance Michael will track me down because of it. "
Dean hung his head for a moment, put his ring back on and then he pulled Cas into his arms. "Then take this with you."
He kissed Cas like he'd never kissed anyone. He threaded his fingers through the dark hair and put everything he was feeling into the kiss. His lips smoldered against Cas', molding them into acceptance as he demanded a response, and then the angel opened his mouth and Dean shared his breath. The room spun and Dean felt dizzy, but he held onto Cas and kept kissing him. He kissed him until Cas clung to him, his hands resting on Dean's shoulders. He kissed him until Cas moaned softly and his smaller frame went limp against Dean. He kissed him until Cas's hands crept around his waist and Dean increased his hold on the angel until their bodies were fused together. He kissed him until tears spurted from Dean's eyes and he sobbed as Cas tightened his embrace. He kissed Cas until the spark that had been between them turned into a raging inferno. He kissed Cas until his knees buckled and the two of them sank down on the floor, still holding each other. He kissed Cas because it felt like his heart would stop beating if he stopped. He kissed Cas because, dammit, he loved him!
And finally, he had to stop kissing Cas because his physical needs could not be met. Not by his angel. He wouldn't sully him like that even though Cas might be willing. Kissing him was beautiful and terrible at the same time because it awoke feelings in Dean he'd never known he possessed. It didn't matter if Cas was a guy angel. What mattered was he was risking his life, his immortality, for Dean.
For a moment, Cas was silent, his breathing heavy, almost labored. There was a troubled look on his face. He stayed seated on the floor beside Dean, then slowly, gracefully rose and extended a hand to Dean to help him to his feet. The touch was electrifying and the two men stared into each other's eyes as if they were memorizing each other.
"Dean…I have to go."
"I know." Dean angrily wiped the tears away. I never cry. What the hell has Cas done to me?
"If…I don't return in time, Gabriel or Balthazar will… help you. I am turning your charge over to them in my absence."
Gabriel AKA the Trickster? Balthazar? I don't want any other angel kissing me, Cas. Just you.
But he played along. "Sure, Cas, but that won't happen because nothing's going to happen to you."
Cas' mouth twitched, just at the corner, but Dean knew it was a smile. "I…appreciate what you wanted to do. I can't take any part of you with me, Dean, but I'll leave a part of myself for you."
With a rush of the sound of those magnificent wings, Cas was gone. Dean sighed, retrieved his beer, and, on second thought, grabbed the six-pack out of the fridge and trudged to the staircase. The others were watching the movie, although Sam did look up and a frown of disapproval marred his smooth forehead when he saw what Dean was carrying. Dean shrugged and went upstairs.
This house was a two-story and Dean cruised the bedrooms, noting Sammy's iPod standing on a beat-up dresser. The wallpaper was some of that Victorian crap that people still went for. Dean grabbed the iPod and found the room that must be his. The duffel with his stuff sat on a ratty rug. Dean found a broken down chair and pulled it to the window. He gazed out at the winter wonderland and killed off the six-pack in no time flat. By that time, he had a pleasant buzz going on. He hummed along to Bad Company's song on the iPod. He really needed to talk to Sammy about downloading some other music. The song wasn't bad, just, well, dammit, it made him think of Cas.
Sooner or later, when the time is right, you know that I'll be waiting here
And I'm sure that you will find your way to me
Baby I'll be ready, I've had so many lonely nights
I want a love that feels so right, and you know I'll be waiting for you
And baby if I could let you know
It's more than a feeling, it's what I believe in, and I can't let this go
Dean dug out his cell phone and hit speed dial. A female voice said: You have reached the voicemail of…And then he heard Cas say, "I don't understand. Why…why do you want me to say my name?"
Dean chuckled and hit redial a couple of times.
You are so pathetic, Dude. Sitting alone in a room, listening to his voice on voicemail.
Dean was too drunk to comment. He got up from the chair and sat on the edge of the bed. He saw something out of the corner of his eye. Something dark was on his pillow. He held his breath. It can't be. With shaking fingers, he picked it up and its iridescence shone in the light from the sconce on the wall.
Cas said he'd leave me something, a part of him.
Dean held the feather by its vane and his eyes misted over as he lifted it and laid it against his cheek.
Be safe, Cas. Come back to me.
TBC…
