PREVIOUSLY: Commander Mary Shepard has woken up from her injuries after destroying the Reapers...
...and whether or not you believe in the Indoctrination Theory, it ALL happens here! Every question you might have is answered as Mary Shepard faces one of the greatest battles of her life! I hope you forgive my Borg reference from "Star Trek: The Next Generation", I couldn't resist!
Also, what does it cost to be a hero, legend and savior? In other words, think back on all the crap Commander Shepard has been through. How do you think it would affect YOU?
"MASS EFFECT 3 EPILOG: CODA" by Charles Spencer
CHAPTER SEVEN:
"HAUNTED"
1
For Mary Shepard, a hero who nearly gave everything to save the galaxy, it was worse than a slap to the face.
Miranda and Kasumi, who were both closest to Shepard, almost felt her recoil from the core of her being when Admiral Steven Hackett told her she might be Indoctrinated. Mary Shepard's expression was one of sudden pain...after everything she'd been through for the past goddamn year alone... She felt herself flush with anger as she said, "I-Indoctrinated? After everything I've done for you...y-you honestly think I'm some kind of threat?"
Kasumi, close to her left, clutched Shepard's shoulder and quickly said, "Shep, listen to me. Some of us would never think that of you - !"
"Fucking right!" Jack strode full of purpose up to Mary Shepard. "Some of us still have your back, Shepard, even if SOME of us feel differently!" As she finished that statement, she glared at Miranda, who was close to Shepard's right. Jack began to glow brightly, letting her Biotic power build. Jack's eyes were pure fury as she declared, "Stop pretending to be her friend, Cheerleader, and back off! OR ELSE!"
Miranda quietly said, "I'm here to help Shepard too, Jack - !"
Without warning, both of the Krogan in the group got their shotguns at the ready. Urdnot Wrex and his clan's newest warrior, Grunt, held their weapons with deadly intent. Wrex shouted, "Any pyjak here who thinks Shepard's a threat had better step the hell back!" The fact he said that to a room full of allies and friends just made the threat carry even more weight.
Hackett looked at the leader of Tuchanka with alarm. "Wrex - !"
Wrex looked back at the Admiral with harsh eyes. "You're the one who told us to watch her carefully after she woke up! She saved my people, Admiral!"
Grunt seconded Wrex's opinion. "She saved us all, dammit, and THIS is the thanks you wanna give Shepard? You think my Battle Master's the enemy? You'll have to get through me if you wanna do something about that!"
The young Krogan suddenly heard the sharp click of a round being chambered. He only had to move his left eye to the source, and he saw Zaeed Massani at his side leveling a heavy pistol at his face. Zaeed quietly said, "That's a problem I've noticed about most Krogan: you're so ready to fight with the guy in front of you, you don't bother to check your flanks!"
Wrex looked at the mercenary and snarled, "What the hell are you doing, Zaeed!"
Zaeed spared a glance at Wrex and said, "Nobody's here to hurt Shepard, remember? But if she has been Indoctrinated, she needs help!"
Jacob Taylor suddenly whirled and pointed his own gun at Zaeed. "If nobody's gonna hurt Shepard, then you won't mind putting your gun down!"
Steve Cortez looked at the escalating situation with dismayed eyes. "For Godsake! What the hell is wrong with all of you! We're all here for the Commander, right?"
Suddenly, Mary Shepard cried, "All of you, stand down!" She looked at them all with sudden anger, not caring if some were defending her or not. She wasn't going to let any of them harm one another! She shouted again, "I said STAND DOWN! NOW!" After a moment, thankfully, everyone who got out their guns put them back in their leather. Shepard then looked at Jack, who was on a hair trigger to use her Biotics on Miranda, and implored, "Please, Jack...stand down."
Jack looked at Shepard and softened, the glow of her power ebbing to nothing within seconds.
With great relief, Hackett drew closer to Shepard as he told her, "I hate having to do this to you, Commander. You made so many sacrifices and accomplished what most would have called impossible. You nearly died twice for our sakes. But now for your sake, I need to ensure you're all right where it matters...and not just physically!"
Shepard looked at him with confused eyes. "But I don't understand, why do you think I've been Indoctrinated...?"
"Because I foresaw these moments, Shepard." The Commander looked past Hackett and saw Consort Sha'ira at the observation room's entryway. "I foresaw, very soon now, that you will fight your last battle of the war. And your fight will be with an evil already within you."
The hero's confusion could only increase. "Sha'ira...?"
Kahlee began reluctantly, "Shepard...so much of what you just said indicates you have been Indoctrinated. For one thing, you said that something kept you from doing anything but listening to the Catalyst."
Shepard looked at her, suddenly unsure. "Y-yes, but...!"
Kahlee said, "You also said the Catalyst took the form of a boy you remembered you couldn't save."
Jacob snarled, "Man, this is bullshit...!"
"No, Jacob...no, it isn't." Brynn stared at Shepard with great concern. "Commander...you said you kept seeing this same boy in your dreams?"
Shepard thought about it, and carefully nodded.
"Oh, no," Miranda said with a whisper. All of them looked at Shepard and feared for her.
Consort Sha'ira continued to slowly, gracefully approach Shepard. She gently mused, "The Catalyst took the form of a boy you saw again and again in your dreams. That is the answer, Mary Shepard, and you still do not understand what it means. But you must."
Mary Shepard bit her lower lip...and she felt her inner axis shift terribly as she realized. "Recurring dreams...that's a symptom of Indoctrination..."
Sha'ira nodded, her expression as soothing as her voice. "I gave you a gift of words years ago so you might begin your journey, Commander. You brought salvation to an entire galaxy, and your journey is almost over. So you may finish the road you travel and find those you hold dear, I will help you in every way I can."
Mary Shepard felt herself become calmer, but she tried to say, "I-I swear, I'd never betray any of you...!"
Jack quickly said, "You didn't, Shepard! We're alive and the Reapers are dead! That's proof to me you're not under their control."
Hackett said in a pure business tone, "But Indoctrination is insidious, Commander. It can take hold of a person without their knowing it, and it doesn't have to manifest right away. Remember Rana Thanoptis? The scientist who worked for Saren on Virmire."
Mary managed to nod. "Y-yes...I saw her again before I found Grunt..."
"You should have received the report...months ago, Rana murdered several government officials on Thessia before she was killed. Evidence of what she said and did at the time indicates she was Indoctrinated, but you never saw any sign of that in the two times you encountered her, did you?"
Mary Shepard shook her head slowly. "No, sir."
"That's what we fear the most," Admiral Hackett concluded. "If you have been Indoctrinated to any degree, it might at some time take hold of you and make you a danger to yourself and others."
Sha'ira stopped in front of Shepard...the Consort's smile offered hope. "I will find the Indoctrination within you, and I will help you fight it...because this is a battle you cannot fight alone. Do you trust me, Commander?"
Mary Shepard hesitated only for a beat before she said, "Yes."
The Consort's slender blue hands reached out and softly touched the sides of Mary Shepard's lovely face with a feathery softness. Sha'ira said, "Look into my eyes." Mary did... "Open your heart and soul to me." Then Sha'ira closed her eyes...they opened back up quickly, but her eyes had changed dramatically.
Consort Sha'ira's eyes had become as black as a sea of space without stars as she finally said, "Embrace eternity!"
2
Then. Somewhere within a hero's inner self. Commander Mary Shepard and Consort Sha'ira were standing facing each other...in a dark, ominous forest the Human knew too damn well. She had seen enough of it in her dreams time and time again. Mary looked around her uncomfortably. "This is it...this is the same damn forest I kept seeing that boy in my dreams." Mary was still dressed in her yukata as Sha'ira was clothed in what she wore in the 'real' world.
Where Mary was discomforted, the Asari knew sudden, terrible dread. She could see this place in a way Mary herself couldn't. "By the Goddess...I didn't realize how deeply the evil has reached..." Sha'ira looked to Shepard with alarm and warned, "Shepard, you are in more danger than you know! This place is not a creation of your dreams!"
Before Mary could ask Sha'ira what that meant, a new voice reached them both: "This is my playground!"
Then...the boy Shepard saw again and again, the same boy Shepard saw die on Earth, manifested among the trees and approached them. He was at a trot, an Alliance fighter toy in one hand as he seemed to pretend to fly it through the air. For Mary, it was a terribly familiar sight. Then, a short distance away, the boy stopped and looked at Sha'ira. He said bluntly, "You don't belong here, Asari."
The Consort's being was no longer calm...she stared at the boy with narrowed eyes, her stance defensive. Sha'ira said, "Neither do you...whatever you are."
Mary took a step toward the boy, her expression needful for understanding. "I don't understand! Why do you keep haunting me?"
The boy then looked at Mary and said quietly, "The Reapers are dead now...even the Catalyst is dead." The boy was visibly sad as he said that. He looked at Mary with cold eyes and nodded. "That's all right. You'll soon be dead, too. Even if the cycle is over, our greatest enemy won't live for much longer, either."
Mary suddenly began to realize...this boy, this...thing...embodied the Indoctrination that had been planted within her. Mary looked at the thing with building loathing. "What the hell are you...?"
Sha'ira quickly said to her, "Shepard, listen to me!"
3
In the observation room, Sha'ira was still looking into Shepard's eyes as she addressed the others: "All of you need to listen, as well! Shepard has been Indoctrinated!"
Miranda looked the same way the rest of those who cared for Shepard did...like someone punched a hole into her heart. Dismayed, she almost cried, "How?"
Sha'ira increased her focus as she looked into Shepard's eyes. "I am looking into her memories...it happened when she was alone...she made a last stand against many. She was on an asteroid...The Project..."
Fearfully, Hackett exclaimed, "Object Rho!"
As those who cared for her looked at her, Mary said, "The Reaper artifact...it Indoctrinated Doctor Kenson and her people..."
4
Within her self, Shepard finished, "...the Reapers didn't want them to destroy the Alpha Relay and delay their arrival!"
The thing that looked like a boy smiled. "That 'artifact' was a generator...a way for the Reapers to Indoctrinate others without their presence being necessary. All that's needed is to deliver it to a location, or let someone else deliver it after they find it, and it'll do its work pretty fast. It wasn't an accident the generator was found close by the Alpha Relay, another creation of the Reapers." The thing's smile stretched into a grin. "Oh, they wanted to stop The Project...but your arrival was unexpected. It was still desired, because they wished to know you. And use you."
Mary Shepard looked at the thing hatefully. "That was why Kenson said the Reapers wanted me alive after I was defeated..."
The thing nodded. "Yep! You were still a surprise, waking up before the Reapers arrived. You still delayed them...but I was planted in you, anyway."
Sha'ira looked at Shepard and said, "Shepard, remember there are signs of Indoctrination besides recurrng dreams! You also see things that are not even there!"
Mary gasped. "Oh, my God...Harbinger contacted me just before the Normandy picked me up and the Alpha Relay was destroyed..."
5
Hackett heard her words in the observation room and said, "I remember that in your report, Shepard! But...I never asked how it contacted you. Did Harbinger reach you through your suit's comm systems...or some other way...?"
Mary remembered...and it truly sank in, the meaning of seeing the vision of the Collector Controller speaking with Harbinger's voice on that shuttle landing pad. There was nothing there to project that image...unless that image was being projected into her mind by...! "A-Admiral..."
Hackett looked down at the floor, angered with himself. "Don't blame yourself, Shepard. I should have realized it sooner, I'm so sorry...!"
6
The thing that looked like a boy nodded. "The link was established between you and the Reapers. Just before they arrived on Earth, they felt your emotions resonate when you saw me...a child playing under the sun."
"Yes," Mary Shepard said solemnly. "I couldn't help but be reminded you were the reason I was fighting. You represented the future of Humanity...of every race across the galaxy..."
"...and you failed me, anyway. You let me die."
Sha'ira took Shepard's hand in the forest and reassured, "No, Shepard, you did not! I can see your memories in a way you can't! You must understand, the times you saw the boy after the Reapers arrived, he was not even there!"
7
As Sha'ira and Mary looked into each other's eyes, the Commander almost whispered, but her loved ones heard her clearly. "He...he wasn't...? Oh, no...y-you're right. When I saw the boy in the ventilation duct...one moment he was there, the next he was gone. Like he hadn't even been there at all, and...and he wasn't!" A sharp inhalation of breath. "A-and as I was leaving Earth, I saw him get on the shuttle...wait. No one helped that boy on the shuttle. No one even looked at him, a boy alone with no one to help him...? He just got on the shuttle, but no one noticed him!"
8
Within her self, Mary glared at the thing that looked like a boy and concluded, "You weren't there, either!"
The thing shook its head. "Nope!"
"But why? Why would you make me...?"
Shepard's voice trailed off fearfully. She looked at Sha'ira, who looked back at the hero sadly. The Consort said, "You already know the answer."
Horrified, Mary Shepard said, "They were testing me...to make sure I was Indoctrinated."
She heard Brynn outside of herself as she quickly said, "Shepard! If you were having dreams of that boy since, it was the Reapers trying to secure their control!"
Shepard said, "It all makes a terrible sense...b-but they never took control of me, like Kenson...like Rana..."
The thing that looked like a boy seemed sad again. "You were stronger than the Reapers thought...even Indoctrinated, you resisted their control again and again."
9
In the observation room, Shepard asked, "B-but I don't understand how! How was I strong enough to resist them before...?"
Wrex looked at Shepard thoughtfully and suddenly rumbled, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." His eyes brightened as he realized. "Shepard, it has to be because of those Prothean beacons you linked up with! Getting that Cipher had to help, too!"
Chloe looked at Shepard with an amazed expression. "I-I saw that in your medical files, Mary! You'd survived mentally interfacing with Prothean beacons on Eden Prime and Virmire. But according to Doctor Chakwas herself, it was a miracle you didn't die! No Human who ever tried that survived before!"
10
In the forest, the thing that only looked like a boy declared, "Your interfacing with the Prothean beacons made you stronger, made you able to resist Indoctrination...but strength runs out. It was decided that if all else failed, the one that created the Reapers and Indoctrination would be your downfall."
Mary Shepard said coldly, "The Catalyst."
The image of the boy brightened, transformed into the pale-blue holographic image of the Catalyst. "Yep! The creator had its own ways to influence you, make the seed of me grow in you, until you did what it wanted."
Mary shouted, "The Catalyst was a damn monster! Deciding that every advanced race in the galaxy should be destroyed every 50,000 years!"
The glowing thing quickly said, "Not destroyed! Given new form as Reapers!"
Mary yelled, "What the HELL is the difference?" She suddenly looked at the thing with a frown. "I couldn't even argue with the Catalyst before..."
The glowing thing smiled. "Because it didn't want you to. It just gave you the choice."
11
"That's right," Mary said as Sha'ira looked into her eyes. Everyone else in the room focused on Mary, especially Hackett and Kahlee. They heard her say, "The Catalyst said I could destroy the Reapers, control them, or...or change everything. Make life into a synthesis of organic and artificial life. I wanted to tell the Catalyst to go to Hell, kill it, anything else...but...but making the choice felt right to me."
Sha'ira quietly counseled Mary, "Because that's what the Catalyst wanted you to do."
"Two of the choices felt right, but...one didn't. The choice...to destroy the Reapers. It told me making that choice would destroy all artificial life, not just the enemy. It also said organics would still be fated to go to war with synthetics in the future. That choice offered...so little hope..."
Kahlee asked, "And the others did?"
"Control...or synthesis." Mary's expression became blank as she remembered. "Either of those choices would have saved the most lives. Those choices felt...better." But then her eyes hardened...she frowned... "Either of those choices..."
Sha'ira smiled. "Go on, Shepard!"
Mary Shepard finally said in a strong voice, "Either of those choices would have spared the Reapers!"
12
Within Mary's inner self, Sha'ira looked at the hero proudly. "Excellent, Shepard! Instinctively, you understood the Catalyst's trap. You realized what it was trying to do in spite of the Indoctrination."
Mary smiled back, in spite of the darkness of the forest around them. "I felt like the situation was taking control of me...but I remembered something Anderson and I always believed in. I might not have had control over the situation, but I could still control how I'd respond! I decided to rely on my instincts as a soldier...in spite of the choices it wanted me to make, I remembered why I was there to find the Catalyst in the first place. Even if the cost was high, I had to end the war. Even if it meant my death, I had to end the genocide. I had to destroy those that only existed to destroy us!"
The glowing thing frowned. "You both sound so smart. But you're still nothing compared to the perfection of the Reapers."
Mary looked at the thing harshly. "The Reapers called themselves the salvation of organics through our destruction! I'll be damned if I call that 'perfect'!"
The thing formed a smile then...a terrible, predatory smile that didn't make it look anything like a child anymore. "Funny you should say that. You're about to be damned. The seed of me has grown enough, and now it will end you..." The thing's voice deepened dramatically, and began to sound terribly familiar to Mary. "...just like you ended the Reapers."
Both Mary and Sha'ira were startled to suddenly see a hellish red light wash through the forest, making their surroundings even more frightening, as a bleating sound ripped through the trees...it was that same damned sound the Reapers made, a trumpeting call that seemed to issue from the lowest reaches of Hell itself.
Sha'ira drew close to Mary Shepard and held her hand. "It will be all right! You can fight this Indoctrination and be free of it, Mary! What matters is you're not alone!" She looked at the glowing thing and shouted, "You will not have her!"
The thing's voice deepened further...and it sounded too close to the likes of Harbinger and Sovereign. It sounded like a Reaper. It declared, "You are irrelevant, Asari...and you bore me!" It made a gesture like it was swatting at a fly...
...and to Mary's horror, Sha'ira discorporated to nothing in a heartbeat. She was suddenly alone in the forest.
13
In the observation room, Sha'ira cried, "OHHH!" She flew back several yards and into the arms of Primarch Victus, who barely had the presence of mind to catch the Consort and not let her fall.
Victus reflexively said, "Sha'ira...!"
"What the hell just happened?" Jack took the Consort's place like a shot, standing in front of Mary Shepard, who was suddenly stock still, staring blankly into space. "Shepard? Are you all right? Please talk to me!" Everyone else could only look at Shepard...like Jack, they didn't know what to do.
Off-balance, barely still conscious, Sha'ira moaned, "No...oh, no...she's alone now...!"
14
Within her self, as the forest glowed with terrible red light, Mary kept her focus and looked at the glowing thing standing before her. "What the hell did you just do to Sha'ira? Tell me, you monster!"
The thing that looked like the Catalyst said, "She is gone, Shepard. You are about to be gone, too." Then the thing's voice deepened even further, resonating with terrible echoes as it declared, "ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL!"
Without warning, as if in answer to a command, thick black conduits that had ports from which a baleful blue light issued horribly, exploded from the ground at Shepard's feet...they were each tipped with terrible steel barbs...each conduit reached up and tore into her arms...into her legs...into her back, and suddenly the agony Mary Shepard knew was unspeakable, and she instinctively knew what was being done to her... "No...oh God, no! NO!"
15
As her entire body began to tremble in the observation room, Mary screamed with pure primal defiance, "NO!"
Everyone else froze in horror...except for Jack. Desperately, the young Biotic took the Commander by her shoulders and shouted into her face. "Shepard? Shepard, talk to me! We need to know how to help you!"
"Stay away from her!" Jack and everyone else turned to look at Sha'ira, who was being helped to stand by Victus. She cried to them all, "All of you must prepare yourselves!"
Jack began to snarl at Sha'ira, "What the hell are you ta-AAUGGHH!" The young woman with the nickname of the Psychotic Biotic had been hit HARD by a straight open-palm strike to her chest just below her sternum from Shepard. Jack's body rocked from the impact as she stumbed back several feet to crumple on the floor.
Kasumi stared at Shepard with sudden, elemental fear... "Shep!"
Because Mary Shepard was looking at everyone in the observation room...and her eyes had begun to glow with a baleful, terrible light.
16
In the nightmarish forest, Mary Shepard screamed again as the agony she suffered made her fall to her knees. The conduits worked deeper into her body. They slowly leeched from her essence...as they implanted a slowly building desire to surrender, to want to follow the will of those that no longer existed. Mary fought desperately to defy the control. "NO! I-I can't let myself hurt anyone! I WON'T!"
The thing that looked like the Catalyst grinned, its glowing blue form in contrast to the hellish forest around them both. "PATHETIC PIECE OF FLESH. SO TEMPORARY. SO EASY TO MAKE INTO A PUPPET...ALL YOU LACKED WERE THE STRINGS. AS YOU CAN SEE, THAT WAS EASILY REMEDIED!"
Mary Shepard's entire being trembled as she struggled to simply stand...and failed. "Uuhhhh! N-no...no, you can't...do this...!"
"WHY NOT? YOU WERE NOT ABOVE INDOCTRINATION, SHEPARD. NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY TO STRUGGLE, RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. NO MATTER WHAT MADE YOU STRONGER, THIS WAS INEVITABLE!"
17
The N7 soldiers who accompanied Admiral Hackett had their Avenger rifles at the ready, but they were unsure what to do. They sure as hell couldn't just shoot Commander Shepard. One of them asked, near-desperation, "Wh-what do we do, Admiral?"
Hackett shouted at them, "No matter what happens, hold your fire, dammit! HOLD YOUR FIRE!"
Commander Mary Shepard, hero of the Citadel, defender of the Earth, and savior of the galaxy was a surreal, intimidating sight...her lithe form clothed only in her flowing yukata stepped with a catlike grace through the area, her bright glowing eyes staring at everyone surrounding her. They were all friends, comrades and more to her, and they suddenly realized the one they cared for wasn't...there anymore. Primarch Victus could only murmur, "By the Spirits...!"
Kasumi was in tears. "Shep...!"
Grunt snarled, "All of you keep back! I've got this!" His shotgun in its holster, he began to approach Shepard.
Wrex cautioned, "Dammit, Grunt, keep your distance!"
Grunt didn't listen. "I'll be all right! She's not even armed!"
Hackett shouted, "Listen to Wrex, Grunt! SHE'S STILL AN N7-LEVEL SOLDIER!"
But as Hackett shouted that, Shepard suddenly rushed the young Krogan. Grimly, he steadied himself and spread his hands...if she was going to attack him, he thought he'd just grab his Battle Master and, if need be, sit on her to keep her from hurting herself. But Grunt underestimated Shepard, which was a huge mistake. As she closed in, a sudden burst of speed made Shepard move faster, and she leapt...one of her bare feet stepped on Grunt's head, and she did a flying somersault over the Krogan. She landed lightly on the floor, and Grunt spun around...too slowly, as he was suddenly hit HARD by a combination of strikes from Mary Shepard, a form of combat conditioned into her body years ago that included a gestalt of some of the deadliest martial arts in Human knowledge. Grunt was sent to the floor semi-conscious in brutal fashion within a moment.
Jacob mumbled, "Holy damn...!"
18
"SEE THROUGH YOUR CONSCIOUS EYES, SHEPARD! SEE WHAT WE MAKE YOU DO!"
Mary Shepard tried to fight through the hellish pain...and she suddenly saw through her eyes in the observation room what she was doing to Grunt, striking him with a series of blows that would have crippled or killed a fellow Human. Horrified, Shepard cried, "What? No, you can't! I WON'T HURT ANYONE BECAUSE OF YOU!"
The embodiment of Indoctrination roared, "YOU HAVE NO CHOICE!"
Suddenly, Mary Shepard knew nothing BUT pain.
19
Shepard suddenly trembled as she stood over Grunt, and even under the control of the Indoctrination, it couldn't stop her from crying out in fury and agony: "Aaaa-AARRGGGHHHH!" Jack had finally managed to stand, and the scream from the one she held so dear suddenly brought her to tears. She wasn't the only one. Doctor Chloe Michel covered her mouth with her hands as tears spilled from her wide eyes, hating to see what the beautiful hero was going through. Brynn Cole could also only cry helplessly, unable to think of a way to help Shepard. Sha'ira stared at the tortured Human with a mournful expression...things were going wrong so terribly fast, but there had to be something they could do...!
Suddenly, someone shouted, "All right, that's ENOUGH!" Everyone looked to see Matriarch Aethyta enter, and her eyes were already glowing with Biotic power. She stared at Mary Shepard coolly and declared, "My daughter wouldn't forgive me if I didn't try something, dammit! So we're gonna help you whether you like it...OR NOT!" Aethyta's eyes flared as she gestured...
...and suddenly, energy enveloped Mary Shepard's wrists. She tried to move them, but they were held in place.
Aethyta frowned and said, "You're gonna get back together with my girl, you understand? Now SETTLE DOWN!"
Miranda quickly said, "Jacob, we need to help her!" She glowed as she tapped into her own Biotics, and the energy at Shepard's wrists glowed brighter...
...and brighter still as Jacob focused his power, too. "I'm with you! But dammit, we need to figure something out fast!"
Then...Mary Shepard looked directly back at the Martriarch...and her eyes glowed brighter, as well. Suddenly, Aethyta looked unsure...and then alarmed... "What the hell...?" The expression was mirrored slowly by Miranda and Jacob, and it suddenly became a clear and present effort for all three of them to restrain Shepard...no, it became worse. They looked like they were in some form of pain and the Matriarch shouted, "Feedback? I-it can't be...!" Then in a stunning moment, Mary Shepard broke free from the Biotic restraints and made a shoving gesture at Aethya, and she, Miranda and Jacob were knocked back and onto the floor!
"I've got you!" Steve, who was close to the Matriarch, helped Aethyta up...the Asari managed to stand, but unsteadily. "What just happened?"
"Damned if I know," Aethyta growled. "Whatever that Indoctrination is...it's almost alive. It's like...some kind of virus...!"
Jacob looked at Miranda, and they were both stunned. Miranda could only say, "It was created by artificial lifeforms...my God, it might be alive, too! That's how it can have so much power!"
20
The glowing thing looked at Mary Shepard, on her knees and in tremendous pain... "NOW...THE COMMANDING ADMIRAL OF THE ALLIANCE NAVY, ADMIRAL HACKETT. I THINK YOU SHOULD KILL HIM FIRST!"
Agonized, Shepard tried to deny the thing...she tried to speak... "N-no...!"
21
Mary Shepard began to move toward Admiral Hackett with terrible purpose. Zaeed yelled, "Shepard?" He had no idea what to do...he damned well couldn't shoot her. He wouldn't!
As she watched, Sha'ira began to realize...was there something she had missed? She knew that Mary hadn't asked about her ship or her crew right away...or about Liara at all. She had found that strange, and now she latched onto and focused on that. Sha'ira began to sense that was the answer, but...!
One of the N7 soldiers with Hackett haltingly said, "S-sir, we can't let her get any closer to you - !"
Hackett finally said, "Non-lethal force only! Take her down, but don't hurt her, dammit!"
Another soldier said, "Yessir!" All four tried to intercept Mary Shepard...to stop her.
One by one, all four were subdued with terrible, inhuman efficiency...and Shepard knelt next to one of them and unholstered their Predator pistol...
22
In the hellish forest, Mary Shepard trembled furiously, reaching within herself... "No!"
23
Admiral Shala'Raan looked at Hackett with growing fear. "Hackett...!"
Shepard was only paces away from Hackett, the Predator in her right hand.
Kasumi began to rush after her. "SHEP, NO!"
Admiral Steven Hackett stayed where he was as what might have been his death approached.
Wrex bolted to Shepard, as well...but he knew he was already too damned late...
Three paces away, with no emotion in her beautiful face or in her bright glowing eyes, Mary Shepard began to raise the Predator...and point it at Hackett's face.
Admiral Hackett simply looked back and said quietly, "I believe in you, Shepard. Nothing will ever change that."
Two paces away. Shepard began to squeeze the trigger...
And then Jack, full of helpless fury and agony, screamed, "SHEPARD, DON'T! PLEASE DON'T DO IT!"
24
Within, she heard Jack's scream.
Focusing with all of her might, as she felt herself begin to squeeze the trigger, Mary Shepard finally screamed in pure, primal denial as she reached within herself for what little strength she thought she had left: "NO!"
25
In that moment of time...Shepard's finger froze on the trigger of the Predator. Everyone saw as nothing happened. Hackett still stood, still alive, before Shepard as she seemed frozen pointing the Predator into his face. Zaal'Koris managed to breathe, "Keelah...!"
Aethyta whispered, "Thank the Goddess...! That kid really is strong!"
Jack almost laughed and cried at the same time with joy...but Shepard was still frozen, still pointing her gun at Hackett.
Everyone realized terribly how close the situation was to going over the brink.
Hackett knew it, as well. He looked into Mary Shepard's eyes and said, "Shepard, I hope you can hear me. And I mean you, not whatever is controlling you! I do believe in you, but you also have to believe in yourself! You made the impossible happen before...I know you can do it again. Break the Indoctrination!"
Gradually, Mary Shepard's face softened from its previous blank stare...the light in her eyes dimmed and Hackett saw her deep brown eyes again. Her expression reflected an incredible effort on her part to fight the Indoctrination...her lips quivered as she managed to say, "I...I-I'm trying, sir...but...I-I can't..."
Jack rushed up to Shepard and cried, "You can do it, Shepard! You're the strongest person I've ever met, I know you can do it!"
Not far away, Kahlee managed, "I believe in you too, Shepard! Please don't give up! Please!"
Mary Shepard haltingly took a step back... "I...I won't give up...it's okay. I won't...let them win..." Then, before everyone's horrified eyes, she pulled the gun from its aim on Hackett's face and held its muzzle under her chin, pointed upward. Full of emotion, her eyes wet, Mary said, "I promise I won't let them make me hurt you..."
Zaeed breathed, "Oh, Christ."
Wrex roared, "Shepard, NO!"
Mary yelled, "All of you, stay back! Please...!"
Hackett quietly tried to say, "Shepard, please don't do this. We're here for you...!"
Mary Shepard looked into his eyes...and managed a smile. "And I'm here...for you..."
Her finger began to squeeze...
...and she stopped when another cried, "NO!" Sha'ira was there then, and she looked into Mary Shepard's eyes. The Consort reassured, as her eyes turned black, "Shepard, you need not sacrifice yourself!"
26
In the nightmare forest, Sha'ira was there again, kneeling next to Mary Shepard's kneeling, tortured form. The Consort said gently, "Have faith you have the strength to defeat this and be free!"
The glowing thing looked enraged. "YOU AGAIN? YOU ARE A NUISANCE, ASARI!"
Sha'ira glared at the monster. "And you will not shut me out of Shepard's inner self as easily as you did before! You will soon have much more to worry about than me, anyway!"
The thing growled, "MERE WORDS!"
Sha'ira smiled. "Let us test that!" She then looked upon Mary Shepard, who managed to look up at her. Sha'ira's smile brought hope. "Please listen, Mary. I realized this thing was making you forget your ship and your crew before...it let you remember your ship again as you were being questioned! But that wasn't all the Indoctrination made you forget! It made you forget why you fought the Reapers! You always made defending others your duty, but not long ago, you found the one who gave you a reason to fight! You had found someone to love! The Indoctrination sought to make its control of you easier by making you at least briefly forget her!" As Sha'ira spoke that last, she began to change...her beautiful form transformed like liquid mercury before Shepard into someone else. Into an Asari hundreds of years younger than Sha'ira...into someone who stole Mary Shepard's heart years before.
Mary managed to say, "Liara...?"
Liara T'Soni was there in the hellish forest, looking down upon Shepard with pure adoration.
Suddenly, the glowing thing stamped on the earth like the child it appeared to be as it screamed, "STOP IT! STOP IT!"
Sha'ira, who took Liara's form, then spoke with her voice: "I won't be silent! An entire galaxy owes Mary Shepard everything, monster! The very least I can do is help her draw upon the strength that comes from her love for her soulmate!" Sha'ira/Liara looked upon Shepard again. "Yes...you do remember now. The blocks built in your conscious memory are breaking down. You do have the strength to liberate yourself from Indoctrination, Mary. Rest assured, Liara is waiting to see you again...and she loves you with all her heart and soul."
Mary Shepard looked up at Sha'ira/Liara, and she spoke...with a slowly building certainty and strength... "I love you too, Liara...with all my heart...and soul..." The agony in her expression diminished as she focused within herself, once and for all...and found a wellspring of strength that existed within her BECAUSE of her love for Liara.
The thing stared at Shepard with sudden, glaring fear. "W-WHAT?"
Then Mary Shepard, the hero of the Citadel, the defender of Earth, savior of the galaxy...found the strength to sit up on her knees, in spite of the conduits that sought to hold her down. The conduits brightened as they worked harder to make her their puppet...futilely. Mary looked at the thing and said in a voice that gained strength with each passing moment: "You will not have me, you monster! You won't make me hurt anyone else...and you will NOT make me forget the one I love again!" Suddenly, Mary Shepard lifted her face to the sky and screamed, "DO YOU HEAR ME?"
The forest quaked around them as the conduits were forced to leave the hero's body from her sheer force of will...the quaking knocked the thing that looked like the Catalyst off its feet...it looked with sudden, overwhelming fear as Mary Shepard stood in the heart of this forest, where the hellish red light was diminishing fast. She began to walk toward the thing, which scurried on its back from her as she advanced, as she cursed it with every fiber of her being:
"I have been through so much SHIT because of the Reapers and their twisted ideas of making order out of chaos! I've been killed, Indoctrinated, and I've even had to put up with that little ASSHOLE of a Catalyst and its bullshit about its self-righteous cycle! It said synthetics are fated to destroy the organics who create them, huh? If that's true, EXPLAIN THE GETH AND THE QUARIANS! Explain how they could want peace after so long! You destroy organic life because we evolve and make chaos! You honestly think that justifies the chaos the Reapers made by destroying one civilization after another?"
Fearfully, the thing tried to escape her...tried to deny her... "NO...YOU CANNOT...RESIST!"
Mary Shepard declared, "Oh, yes I can! And you ABSOLUTELY crossed the fucking line by trying to make me forget Liara! It was for her I destroyed the Reapers and the Catalyst, AND IT'S FOR HER I'LL BE FREE OF YOU!" She began to glow...a glow that could only come from the strength she was marshalling to end this once and for all. "For Liara T'Soni, I'm going to tell you EXACTLY what I wanted to tell the Catalyst...GO TO HELL!"
She used all of her inner strength then, and it reached out with a blinding, brilliant light to wash over the monster. It cried in denial and fear, "NOOOO!" And then the light became everything as her pure force of will overwhelmed it, burned it from the core of her being...
...and just like that, it was over.
Mary Shepard stood there in her yukata, unharmed and healed from what she suffered before, her bare feet in lush, green grass...she looked around her, and the forest became a bright, healthy, beautiful place.
"You won, Shepard." Mary turned to the voice to see Sha'ira, smiling upon her. "The Indoctrination is gone."
27
Sha'ira stood before Shepard and said the truth: "You are free now."
Everyone else in the observation room was full of the purest relief seeing Mary Shepard back to normal as she smiled at the Consort. Mary managed to say, "Thank you. Y-you saved me..."
Sha'ira shook her head softly. "No. I simply gave you another gift of words, to remind you who you fought for. What mattered is that you were not alone so you could remember your one true love...so you could find the strength you needed to win this last battle of the war."
Jack approached Mary, close to crying again, but from happiness. "All I give a shit about is if you're okay or not! Are you...?"
At first, Mary Shepard answered, "Yes..." But her expression was unsure, self-conscious. Haltingly: "No. I-I don't know. All I really do know is I'm tired...so damn tired..."
Everyone around her, those who knew and cared for her, were full of concern. Admiral Steven Hackett quietly said, "It's all right, Shepard. Just tell us what you're feeling."
Kasumi quickly, eagerly said, "If we can do anything for you...!"
Suddenly, Mary Shepard said loudly, "All I want is some rest." She looked at the rest, more surprised than they were by the force of her words. Her eyes suddenly reflected shame...and a great weariness. Her words came slowly, full of emotion: "I am so damn tired of trying to be strong. Making one sacrifice after another. But I had to be the strong one, right? I had to be the brave one. I had to bring people together. I had to be an inspiration, and if I wanted to inspire, I'd have to be strong! Don't ever give up! Don't show any fear! Don't let anyone...know how I really felt."
Mary looked at Admiral Hackett...his expression was somber, and he looked at the floor as she spoke: "I never, ever hesitated to follow a single order you gave me, Admiral. You said you had faith in me...but I was so afraid I wasn't worthy of the faith I was given. I was so afraid I couldn't be what everyone needed me to be. I...I was so afraid I'd fail Liara most of all." The savior laughed to herself, but there wasn't much humor in the sound. "B-but I couldn't show any fear, right? I couldn't show doubt...no matter how much I doubted myself at times. Even when I saw entire worlds burning...w-when I saw Earth burning..."
Mary Shepard stopped for a long, lonely moment. Jacob and Brynn looked at her with a helpless concern, like most of the others did, wishing they could do something. Say something to help her.
Mary finally said, "You know, a dear friend of mine said...he said, show you can get results, and others will follow you! He was right. I got results. People followed me into war." An expression of increasing pain flooded her beautiful face. "But...but I didn't do enough. I...I wanted to do more, you know? The elite N7 officer, the survivor of Akuze. I didn't want anyone to die on my watch again, and when people died...when Kaidan died...I knew it was because after all the training to make myself better, I wasn't...good enough." Zaeed could only look at her with a deliberately neutral stare.
Mary shook her head painfully. "But people needed me, right? Even Cerberus needed me...hell, they brought me back to life after I got killed by the Collectors. They wanted results, too. But I always had to wonder until recently, was I really me? Or...or was I just a copy of the woman who got killed?"
Miranda, her expression reflecting her own elemental need to help Shepard, stepped toward her. "Shepard...why didn't you say anything? I promise you, you were never just a copy. You are the woman you were before...!"
Mary Shepard suddenly fired back, "Am I? Am I really?" She turned to Kahlee Sanders, a growing grief and guilt mixing terribly with her self-doubt, and stress. "Kahlee, you...you deserve to know. There is something wrong with me, there has to be." Kahlee began to shake her head before Mary managed to say, "I...I'm the one who shot Anderson."
The air became very, very quiet in the observation room. Kahlee could only stare at the hero, her eyes wide, not comprehending...not wanting to.
Tears began to fall down Mary Shepard's cheeks as she told the truth: "When...when Anderson and I encountered the Illusive Man on the Citadel, h-he did something...maybe he was using the Indoctrination that was inside of me, I-I don't know...but he gestured, and my gun went off a-and I shot Anderson! I didn't even feel my goddamn finger squeeze the trigger!" Shepard clutched at her chest as she closed her eyes, full of grief and guilt. "Oh God, I shot him..."
Kahlee quickly drew close to Shepard...her words softly consoling as she gently held the Commander's shoulders. "Shepard...if it was something the Illusive Man did, please don't blame yourself. If that bastard made you squeeze the trigger...!"
Mary shook her head and managed to say, "It doesn't matter if he made me squeeze the trigger or not! I failed Anderson, just like I failed my unit on Akuze!" She suddenly shouted, damning herself, "I WASN'T FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH! I WASN'T STRONG ENOUGH!"
Wrex tried to get through to the hero then: "Shepard, don't talk like that! You did more than anyone could imagine doing in their lifetime - !"
She whirled on Wrex and yelled, "NO, I DIDN'T! I didn't do enough! I...I wanted to save everyone...the people who were counting on me, the people who followed me!" Mary then pointed at the huge window as she said, "But just take a look outside! Look! Millions dead on the Citadel alone! They just wanted a safe place, they needed me to save them...and I failed them. Just like I failed Anderson." Mary stopped...and she looked out into space, the sadness making her voice thicker with every moment. "But...but I'm still alive. Why am I alive...?"
Jack moved slowly toward her...she was crying again, hating to see Shepard do this to herself. "Shepard, I...I can only imagine how tired you are...I know you wanted to do so much because you care so much. But please don't feel guilty for having survived, please...!"
A sharp intake of breath came from Mary as she began to say, "I-I can't help it, Jack, I..." She turned to look at them all, her eyes full of loss and need. "Am I really worthy of your faith? Am I worthy of Liara's love? Why do I deserve to be alive when I failed Anderson and so many? I...!" She stopped briefly, awkwardly, as she felt the tears on her cheeks...they didn't just fall, they had begun to flow. Her breaths came faster as she tried to regain her composure, as she wiped at her cheeks... "Oh...oh, no...I...hkk...th-these tears... I-I was never supposed to cry, either, right...?" The beautiful woman's hands, one artificial and one alive, moved to cover her face under her shining wet eyes...it was as if she wanted to physically stop the tears from flowing, but she didn't know how... Her expression began to fully break then, her eyes reflecting how lost and alone Mary Shepard felt at that moment... "Oh...oh God, I...huhh...I-I can't stop..."
Then Kahlee Sanders was there and gently took hold of Mary Shepard. As she began to cry herself, Kahlee began to soothe the savior... "Shh. Shhhh. Don't even try to stop those tears, okay? Don't even try. Just...j-just let go. Let go."
Mary Shepard did and sank into Kahlee's arms, and all of the stress, self-doubt, regret and pain she had known and kept inside began to be released through her tears. She managed to moan needfully, "Liara...L-Liara, I need you..." Her body shook with wracking sobs as Kahlee gently helped them both lower to the floor.
Kahlee was on her knees on the floor as she held Mary Shepard's upper body, which leaned into her as her legs curled up on the floor. Kahlee's own tears flowed as she reassured the hero, "You're not alone...we're here for you...w-we're right here..." Jack knelt next to them, in tears as she reached out, touched and gently rubbed Shepard's back, trying to do her part to soothe the hero. Sha'ira and Kasumi also knelt next to Shepard on her other side, and they cried with her, as well.
Everyone in the room gently collected around the savior of the galaxy then...her sobbing from her tears was the only sound to be heard.
TO BE CONTINUED...
