And it starts in my toes

Makes me crinkle my nose


November 2004:

Tai glared at the man in front of him, cursing how stupid he was for trusting him. "Just wanted to talk", yeah right. The other boy, three years his senior, was practically gloating, watching the brunette struggle. The people he called his friends held Tai's arms down with all their strength, amazed at how much they'd had to fight to keep him still.

"Looks like Mr. Scholarship here thinks he's too good to eat lunch with the rest of us," the boy laughed, dramatically running a hand through wavy black hair. His silver eyes shimmered as he grinned. "Well, we can't let him keep thinking that, now can we?"

The other two boys laughed like the good little lackeys they were and Tai barked, "Cut it out, Eiri! You're not going to get me in trouble again!"

"I wouldn't dream about going in front of the principal again, Tai," Eiri said with a faux hurt in his voice. "I told you earlier, I just wanted to sit down with you and be your friend."

"My ass," Tai growled. He'd never fought anyone three on one before, and he would have been overpowered quickly even if he hadn't sworn to not fight anymore.

"Such language," Eiri crooned as he shifted his weight. It had rained the night before, so the soccer field was damp, the ground soft. "I'm sure Coach Toriyumi wouldn't want his star player sounding like a brash nobody."

"It's not my fault you suck more than me," Tai snapped and realized too late it was the wrong thing to say. Eiri yelled and Tai was thrown to the ground, he tried to twist away, but Eiri was suddenly on top of him, straddling his chest with his legs and pinning his arms to his sides. The other two boys held down his legs, and Tai clenched his teeth shut. He knew what was coming next.

"You little ass fucker!" Eiri screamed. "How could a fucking fairy be better than me – me!" He reached out to grab a handful of mud and pinched Tai's nose shut with the other. "My father practically built this field! Do you know how much money we had to donate?!"

Tai gasped for breath and Eiri shoved the mud into his mouth, delighting in the way the brunette gagged and sputtered.

"That a little faggot like you can just up and waltz in here on borrowed money and be fucking better than me is a Goddamn joke!" Another handful of dirt was shoved in Tai's mouth and he managed to kick one of Eiri's goons off him, almost catching him in the face before he was restrained again. "And now you think you're better than me? You think you're too good to eat lunch with the rest of us?! I'll fucking show you!"

Tai clawed into the ground as clump after clump was forced into his mouth. He spit and gagged and tried to bite Eiri but it was useless. His fingertips found a rock, and he grabbed it, flailing as best he could with a nearly-immobile hand. He felt the rock, his knuckles really, catch on something soft and squishy and there was a yelp. Once more his leg was freed and he kicked desperately, the other boy letting go in shock. Eiri was leaning over, trying to grab a particularly thick glop of clay and Tai's thrashing sent him tumbling. Once more, Tai brought the rock down on the closest moving thing to him, almost crushing someone's hand and he rolled over onto his hands and knees, coughing and heaving.

"You smug son of a bitch!" Eiri shrieked. It was his hand that had been hit. "Just you wait! I'll go to the director over this!"

"Better wash the mud out of your shirt, then," Tai groaned, shaking. "Otherwise it's a fight, not assault."

To his credit, Eiri didn't scream. He just drew back his foot and kicked Tai in the side as hard as he could. "Kyo, Nanase! Let's get out of here. We don't need to be caught on the field after school hours."

Tai held his side, watching the boy and his partners saunter back into the school. He pushed himself up, sitting back on his sore ankles with a disgusted groan. He reached up with a shaking hand and opened his mouth, pressing his fingertip against the back of his tongue.

He forced himself to vomit, over and over, until he was certain that every last handful of dirt had been expelled from his stomach. He felt dirty and disgusting, and he knew that his wallet only had enough money to use the washer. Even if he hung it up outside, with this muggy early-winter weather, his only school uniform wouldn't be fully dry for two days. The only thing he could be grateful for was that Sunday was an official match between his school and Aimura High, and the whole team was encouraged to wear their soccer uniforms all day tomorrow to boost team morale.

Tai groaned, struggling to his feet. The gray skies above him looked as miserable as he felt, and he cursed the school director for lying to Malcolm.

It wasn't really a lie, Tai refused to acknowledge. Tatsumi High was known for their soccer team being the best. However, that was before Eiri Gintama bought his way onto the team the two years ago. Due to his money and his father's influence, the coach had been forced to put him center stage of all their matches both years, and they'd lost every one of them. The boy had no respect for anyone or anything but his own wallet, and he made sure the whole team knew it. The others had just let him be, tired of the arguments, the whining, the threatening calls from their biggest financial contributor, and the school's status began to sink. That was why the school director, Mr. Nagisa, had been scouting Tai. Not only had he seen the boy's skill, but his enthusiasm and infectious personality would certainly rally the once-proud team against a bratty rich kid.

The day of the team trials, with Tai's application all set and ready to go with the Coach's stamp of approval, the brunette hadn't known any of that. He did his best, almost overexerting himself, and ran circles around who he thought was just another kid trying out. He'd listened to the current members cheer him on, for the first time in a long time feeling like they would be able to regain their fame, and even the coach had given him a certain nod that let him know he was going to be on top.

That night, after exploring the eerily quiet school along with the three other new athletic students who were moving in, he'd retired to the dorms. It was more like a small apartment building, with a long hallway that wrapped around the side of the building. Each room housed four boys, all together in one massive room, with a single bathroom to be split between them. Each bed was plain, starchy sheets tucked into hospital corners and a wooden trunk sat at each foot, empty and ready to hold uniforms.

Except for Tai's.

He hadn't realized that the boy he'd unintentionally humiliated was his roommate, nor that the only two willing to hang around with him had bullied their way into switching places with his proper roommates. So when he found his bed, the sheets had been shredded with a kitchen shears that were now buried to the hilt in his wooden trunk which, thankfully, hadn't been filled with his clothes yet.

"What the fuck?!" Tai yelped and the young man had only smiled at him.

"I don't know who told you what goes on at this school," he had said calmly, "but they obviously forgot to mention that I am the star player. And as such, I will not be humiliated in front of my teammates by anyone, much less a child on a scholarship."

Tai was glad he wasn't the same reckless kid he used to be, otherwise he would have thrown a punch. He turned and began to walk out of the room, the two other boys running in front of him to stop him. The one named Kyo was tall and thin, almost taller than Joe, with dark hair and green eyes, and the other, Nanase, was not much shorter than Tai with light brown hair and black eyes.

"Where are you going?" Eiri had snarled. "Going to tattle on me like the little baby you are?"

"I'm going to inform the coach that I have a maniacal scissor-wielder living with me," Tai had said evenly, resisting the urge to start wailing on Eiri. But Kyo and Nanase hadn't moved.

"Well, I guess you could," Eiri said, his now usual flair for the dramatic showing. "But I wonder who they'll believe? The new kid who just showed up today, who looks like some little punk with wannabe-gangster hair? Or me, son of Mikoto Gintama, the largest financial contributor to this school and last year's ace striker, not to mention top of the class in all subjects?"

Tai growled and suddenly Kyo and Nanase had leapt on him, pinning his arms to his sides as though knowing he was going to attack.

"Uh, uh," Eiri said with a condescending waggle of his finger, "we don't need a fight on your record before school even starts, now do we? Just know, little baby," the boy grinned, silver eyes sparkling maliciously, "I have this whole school in my back pocket. Don't think I can't get rid of you if I wanted to."

Tai was shaking as he was released and Eiri dismissed him with a flippant wave of his wrist. "Now, go along, and tell Coach Toriyumi that it looks like a rat got hold of your bedding."

"Yeah," Tai growled, trying to still his fists. "I see three giant rats who could have done it..."

A cold gust of winter air brought Tai back to the present and he hurried inside the dorms. After a fight like that, Eiri would usually seek out anyone who would listen and complain about being brutalized by an "uncouth thug" who was obviously only after one thing from him. At least he was usually out of the dorm the rest of the night, and Tai quickly pulled out a ratty shirt with a large tear down the side and a pair of Matt's pants he'd accidentally packed instead of his own. He spun the combination lock, ignoring the lingering stench of bleach from last month, and switched his clothes. He was still muddy himself, but that would be fixed with a quick freezing shower, as Kyo or Nanase had surely left the hot water running all day.

He looked in his wallet, fishing out the last few 100¥ coins he had left. His scholarship allotted him ten thousand yen a month for things such as school supplies and food, but most of it ended up going to replacement uniforms (like when Eiri had dumped a bottle of bleach in his trunk before classes last month) or new books (Kyo had a habit of waking up in the middle of the night to start shredding as much paper as he could find out of Tai's bag) or reparations to the school for replacement bedding (Nanase's shears had yet to be discovered by any of the teachers, and Tai had stopped trying to find them). It was why he hadn't eaten lunch at all that day, he simply didn't have the money by the end of the month, not until his next check came in.

He wished that this wasn't a game weekend, as then he would have been able to go to Izzy's and pretend that the only reason he ate so much was because Kae's cooking was so wonderful. But he had slowly gotten used to what would be the schedule for his full four years of high school. Soccer Club met Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, he was required to take an Art club on Tuesdays, Saturday he spent in the library with his classmates in a science lab, and every other Sunday was a new soccer match between them and another school in the prefecture. The only time he had to himself was Thursdays, which were usually spent hiding from Eiri and his goons so as not to start a fight, and every other Sunday when he scraped together his change and took the hour-long bus ride to Odaiba to see Izzy.

He had just thrown his clothes in the washing machine and set it to start, reaching up to pull a clump of grass out of his hair, when a heavy hand fell on his shoulder.

"Kamiya? You ok?"

Tai looked up into the concerned eyes of his coach and Math teacher, Ito Toriyumi. He swallowed hard and remembered Eiri's words. If he was found out to be in a fight again...

"Y-yeah," Tai laughed. "Just slipped outside in a puddle, you know how slippery it can get out there on the field."

Toriyumi continued to look at Tai, waiting for more, but the brunette bit his lip. If Eiri hadn't gone to the teachers to weave a tale of assault, physical and sexual, than Tai wasn't about to open the floodgates. The older man waited a moment longer before sighing and turning away. Tai listened to him, hoping he would leave soon before Eiri showed up and decided better late than never, and so he heard when Toriyumi paused.

"These dryers," he said conversationally, "they tend to just eat my coins. Stupid things need to be replaced soon, I'm sure." There was the clattering of change on metal, and Toriyumi quickly stepped into the hallway.

Tai hesitated for a moment, just to be sure the man wasn't about to come back, before reaching over and snatching the handful of coins that had been abandoned. He wished he could have trusted the man who seemed genuinely concerned about him, but there was no way one teacher and one student could go against Eiri and all his monetary support without any proof. Not again, at least.

It was over a month into the semester, and Tai already had to buy his third phone charger. All his other ones kept getting cut in half in the middle of the night. Eiri, Kyo, and Nanase were off doing God knew what, possibly torturing one of the other freshman on another sports club, and Tai was curled up on his bed, happily talking to Izzy.

"I barely have enough time to think," he'd laughed. "Let alone call any of you guys. I'm glad you helped me cram this summer, though. We're going over a bunch of shit in Organic Chem that I've never even heard of except those little note cards I made."

"It's only going to get harder from here on out," Izzy told him with that warmth that told Tai he was just as comfortable on his own bed. "Perhaps this weekend we should actually study instead of just telling my parents that."

"Hey, now, we studied," Tai laughed. They had spent last weekend together making out and exploring with hesitant, loving touches. "It was just Anatomy instead of English."

He could practically hear Izzy blushing on the other end, and that only made Tai laugh harder.

"Besides, I promised I'd take you to see that crappy Steel Vaginas movie, or whatever."

Izzy sighed, "It's Winter's Promise, and you know I only want to see it because Mimi has a cameo in it."

Tai had spared a thought to the pink-loving girl who had quickly risen to the top of the pop idol scene after a summer-long tour with The Teenage Wolves landed her a contract. She was on top of the world right now, and everywhere he looked, he saw her warm face advertising something or another.

"It's still a dumb chick flick," Tai decided with a smile.

"And afterward," Izzy pressed, "I thought we could come home and order a pizza... My parents will be out all weekend, you know."

Tai laughed and, once again, he could feel the heat radiating off Izzy's cheeks through the phone. "Matt was right, it's the quiet ones you need to look out for!" He gave a sly grin. "Who knew that a guy who looked at all those tits in the Digital World would end up liking some guy like me, huh?"

"I do not appreciate the direction this conversation has taken," Izzy stated formally and Tai continued to snicker. Izzy could pretend to be mad all he wanted, it didn't change the fact that it was true. "I look forward to your visit next week."

"Tell your folks bye for me," Tai had laughed as Izzy had hung up. As much fun as it was to tease his boyfriend, he'd have to bring him a present in apology. Perhaps a new USB drive?

He was just hanging up, checking to make sure his charger was still in one piece, when Eiri had walked in. He didn't say anything to Tai, only smiled and flopped back on his bed. The brunette felt his good mood immediately evaporate and he glowered.

"What's got you so happy, Eiri?"

"Oh, nothing," he gloated, and Tai worried. "I just had a little birdie tell me something very... funny."

One-on-one, Tai was sure he could wipe the smug look off Eiri face, but just as he shifted to get out of bed, Kyo and Nanase scampered inside the dorm just as the lights were cut off, the speaker announcing loudly, "Ten P.M., lights out! All students caught outside their rooms past curfew will be punished."

In the darkness, Tai could barely see Eiri with his goons huddled together around his bed. He couldn't hear what they were planning, and he knew he wouldn't like it.

That Sunday was a game day, warm and sunny for the end of summer. The sky was bright and blue and Tai felt like he was on top of the world as he ducked and weaved. Rumors were starting to spread about Tatsumi High's Soccer Club again, that they would be the ones to win it all this year now that Eiri wasn't hogging the spotlight. The wavy haired boy, terrifyingly enough, didn't seem to mind the whispers, even going so far as to congratulate Tai after scoring an impressive goal.

"Thanks, I think," Tai had replied with a smile. Maybe he was finally starting to realize that he wasn't the center of the universe?

It was at the end of the game, Tai was running the ball across the field. If he made this goal, they were certain to win once more! The other boy from Akami High was struggling to keep up with Tai's speed and stamina, and the only one that was near him was Eiri, huffing and puffing heavily in Tai's ear.

"You're pretty fast," Eiri had told him, redfaced. "It's must be those fairy wings of yours."

Tai had stumbled, just barely. He almost lost control of the ball, but brought it back quickly. "What?!"

"Want to impress your butt buddy in the stands, hm?" Eiri hissed, out of breath. "Otherwise, how else could a fag like you be so damn good?"

The ball rolled off on its own as Tai grabbed Eiri by the collar of his jersey. He tripped over his own feet, only able to see red as he flung the other boy to the ground. He was aware of the sound of the referee's whistle screaming, the coaches hollering, the crowds shouting. But the only noise he could actually hear was Eiri laughing as he was punched, over and over.

Tai was yelling inarticulately, snarling as both Coach Toriyumi and even the Akami High coach dragged him off the other boy, who was now sobbing pathetically, saying he'd done nothing wrong but congratulate the jealous brunette. Tai struggled desperately, filled with nearly murderous rage. He didn't care that he'd been insulted, he'd heard enough of that out of his father.

He was pissed that Eiri had been belittling Izzy.

The game had been cut short, Akemi High being given the win by default, and Tai had been marched into the principal's office. He was no longer raging, but now sullen and smoldering. Toriyumi stood between Tai and Eiri, one hand on each of their shoulders, and Eiri cried what was supposed to be crocodile tears. But Tai was glad to see the genuine pain in his expression.

"It was so sudden, Mr. Ruki," Eiri sobbed. His hands shook as he rubbed his bloody nose too roughly so as to make his eyes water. "I was beside Tai, and I told him he was doing great. But he just told me I was a, a..." He gave an overly dramatic sob that made even Toriyumi's eyes roll. "Jealous has-been. He said I would never be as good as him and then he said certain... things about parts of my body..."

"That's bullcrap!" Tai snapped and he felt Toriyumi's grip on his shoulder tighten. "He was making fun of my boyfriend – calling him all kinds of shit!"

Eiri flinched away, cowering theatrically. "Do you see, Mr. Ruki?"

"Kamiya!" the principal snapped, and Tai hung his head. "You know that assault of another student is against school rules and subject to possible revocation of your scholarship and even expulsion, correct?"

"Yes, sir," Tai admitted, bowing his head in shame. How could he ever face Matt and his father again? Malcolm had worked so hard, put his own reputation on the line for Tai's benefit. "I understand..."

"Now, let me see here..." Mr. Ruki looked at the two boys before him. "What do you suggest, Ito? He was under your supervision after all."

"As much as I hate to do this," Toriyumi began with a heavy sigh, and Tai wondered where he would go now that he couldn't even go to school. "I say suspension from all Club activities for two weeks, as well as Beautification duties for the next four Sundays – to take care of the field he so disgraced."

Eiri sputtered, no longer moving as stiffly as he had been pretending, and even Tai had looked up sharply as the principal nodded.

"That sounds appropriate." He held up a hand to still any of Eiri's objections. "Just know, young man, if I even get a hint of a whisper that you've assaulted someone again, I will not be so lenient. The next time you hurt someone, I'll toss you out of these gates without a second thought, do you understand?"

"Y-Yes, sir!"

Mr. Ruki had smiled, leaning back in his chair. "You are dismissed, Mr. Gintama. Mr. Kamiya, I believe today is Sunday, so you will accompany Coach Toriyumi to the field for beautification instructions."

As Tai moved his clothes to the dryer, he remembered that Eiri had been shaking with rage, though he tried to hide it as pain when Toriyumi had walked by. Tai had been elated, he'd been given a second chance and he wasn't going to waste it. Even having to give up seeing Izzy for a month didn't quite seem too bad.

But then Eiri had gotten worse.

The name calling wasn't so bad, he could easily tune that out. Whenever the trio talked about Izzy, he would just close his eyes and think of how hard everyone worked for him and that seemed to work. The destruction of his property could be deterred, usually with stronger locks and fewer possessions, and even his bedding wasn't too expensive to replace.

It was when he was alone, however, when it was the hardest. Always with Kyo or Nanase keeping watch, or a younger kid threatened into it, Eiri found new and painful ways to beat and torture that didn't leave marks. The only thing that other boy wanted was for Tai to throw the first punch, to show off the bruises with pride, and Tai refused to let it happen. Eiri only had two more years of school. Tai could make it. He had to.