CHAPTER 7 – Flashback 3: Freedom in Truth
"Still tired," Morgan asked as he drove himself and his brother to work.
"Yes," Reid all but growled from the back seat where he was as sprawled out as he could get, eyes shut.
"I thought you went to bed early last night," The older man continued to question.
"I did," Was the yawned reply, "I was asleep by 10 but I'm still tired."
"Drink some extra strong coffee," Was the advice given. "And try not reading in bed."
"I wasn't," Reid protested a small grin on his face.
There was no comment from the driver, though there was an eye roll, as he eased into the nearest McDonald's for a couple of coffees. Reid sighed in content when his coffee, black with three sugars, was passed to him; despite the warning that it was hot he took a large gulp, yelping as he burnt his tongue.
Morgan shook his head at his brother's antics as he eased back into traffic and made the short drive to the BAU.
It was almost two hours later when Reid stood up to go to the restroom that trouble started to brew.
"Oh," Reid clutched his head as he sat back heavily in his chair.
"What's the matter?" Morgan stood up and walked to his brother's side.
"Dizzy," Reid frowned, "And I think I'm getting my fever back.
"Again?" Morgan reached out a hand, "Feels like it. Let me grab some Tylenol."
Reid groaned as a headache started to get stronger. He'd gotten sick three times in the past couple of months. He'd already been to the doctor's who said he had the flu. When he didn't seem to get better they went back and were told again it was the flu. Neither brother knew what to believe as the youngest did have some of the symptoms but there were other symptoms that made them worry.
He stood once again when he saw his brother jogging back from his office, this time swaying, "Morgan…"
Morgan barely reached his side when he suddenly passed out, "Reid! Prentiss call someone."
Hearing his agent yelling Hotch had come out of his office. His eyes widened as he rushed down to help. It was only a couple of minutes before the team gathered around, waiting for the paramedics to get there. None of them could foresee what the future held.
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"Reid," Morgan placed a hand on the bouncing leg, "Relax. I'm sure it's fine."
"I hate feeling like this," The younger man spat out agitated, "I don't see why he wanted me here if he thinks I'm just going crazy."
The older agent had to take a deep breath to calm himself before responding, "Snapping at me isn't going to make the time go faster. As for the doctor, he doesn't think you're going crazy. He obviously thinks he knows what's going on or else he wouldn't have called you back in; now relax."
The last was said as an obvious order that made the other man scowl. What Reid wanted to do was go back to bouncing his leg but that was out of the question as Morgan's hand was still holding it down firmly and Reid just didn't have the energy to even try. He instead grabbed his book and holding it close began to read to himself.
Morgan gave a silent sigh of relief as his brother's attention was turned elsewhere. He wouldn't admit it but he was nervous. He, like Reid, was irritable that no doctor could seem to find anything wrong. He had watched his brother, already thin to begin with, get thinner and paler as the days progressed, he'd been there when Reid past out the first time and again all other five times he'd done so again. Right now Derrick Morgan was scared.
He had been the one to go to the multiple doctor appointments with the youngest member of the team. He had also felt the strain as doctor after doctor told the younger man that they could find nothing wrong. It had also been him, and him alone, who had shared the brunt of the younger agent's wrath during everything.
Dr. Jordon Sykes was their sixth doctor they'd been to. Unlike the last several doctors, Dr. Jordon, as he asked to be called, admitted Reid to the hospital for four days of testing. Through it all Morgan stayed with him.
The doctor's test all came within normal range, leaving Reid feeling alone and wondering if they wouldn't find out what was wrong with him when he died. It was a feeling that was echoed silently by his big brother.
Now here they sat, two weeks after the last test was taken, waiting to hear yet again that there was nothing wrong. Each were left wondering just how much more they could handle before it got to be too much.
Before either man could get too worked up, the door opened, "Sorry to keep you guys waiting."
"We understand," Morgan sat up straighter, reaching a hand out.
"Hello Spencer," The doctor shook Morgan's hand before reaching out to the younger man.
"Hi Dr. Jordon," Reid couldn't stop himself from sound more like a petulant teen then a seasoned FBI Agent.
The doctor seemed to understand as he grabbed a third chair and pulled it close, "So, we found something…"
"What is it?" Reid interrupted as he unashamedly gripped his big brother's hand.
"Reid," Morgan rebuked softly before turning his attention back to the doctor, "Lay it on us doc."
"We found fluid around your heart," The doctor held up an image to show them before continuing, "That led us to look somewhere that none of us had thought to look though I can't say why we hadn't. I can only guess that even with your symptoms you are a healthy 32 year old male. You have no history that would make us suspect anything was wrong…"
This was the hardest part for the middle aged doctor. To tell a patient he had no clue what was wrong came in a close to second to having to tell a patient what he was about to tell the young Agent. He sat on the edge of his seat.
"We've checked both your kidneys and you're liver," The doctor laid his own hands on the brother joined ones, "I'm sorry Spencer, you're going into double organ failure."
"I don't understand," Reid looked, not at the doctor but at his brother.
Morgan gaped for a moment before pulling himself together, "What do we do? How do we fight this?"
"We'll start your brother on some medications and, if we decide to go this route, dialysis," The doctor sat back in his seat. "I'm going to be frank with you Agent Morgan, you're brother is going to need a transplant. However, his blood type is rare and will be hard to match. I'm going to push him as far up the line as I can."
Reid didn't need to be told what the doctor refused to say, "How long?"
"Spencer…" Dr. Jordon didn't get further.
"How long?" Reid demanded.
The man took a deep breath, "Without a transplant and with dialysis, at the speed of which your organs are failing…four to five months; six if we're lucky. If you go the non transplant and no dialysis route then I say two months, three if we're lucky."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Morgan demanded, glaring at his brother and the doctor.
"Kidney failure means his body can't eliminate waste," The doctor explained gently, "I'm sorry Derrick."
"I'm not going to lose him so you better do what you have to," The older Agent's breathing became erratic as he turned to his baby brother, "I'm not losing you Reid so find out when you start with…"
Reid didn't hide his tears, "Morgan…"
That was all it took for Morgan to push his own fears aside as he pulled his brother into a long embrace. Dr. Jordon Sykes left them alone to collect themselves knowing that it was going to be a long day for all involved.
Once the door shut behind the doctor Reid let lose a loud wail, his breathing erratic. Morgan held him tight, practically lifting the younger man into his lap.
He whispered gently, "It's gonna be ok. I'm gonna get you through this…it's ok Spencer, I'm here."
When he was finally able to talk Spencer Reid had only one thing to say, "I don't want to die."
His big brother could do no more then hold him tightly until his tears all but ran out.
The hours that followed the revelation were tense and painful ones….ones that no one should ever have to live through. Dr. Jordon answered their questions as best he could and together they decided that the following week Reid would start dialysis. Now all they had to do was tell the others.
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Morgan kept himself strong for the sake his brother at the doctor's office. He kept himself strong for his brother while they summoned everyone over to the apartment. He kept himself strong for his brother while he cooked a light lunch, knowing that even if they weren't really hungry, they both needed to eat. He even kept himself strong while Reid started his medication. In the end it was the meeting with the others that was his undoing.
"What'd the doctor say?" Rossi cut straight to the heart of the matter. He, like everyone else, could tell the something was seriously wrong and was instantly on his guard.
Reid opened and closed his mouth, unable to say anything. The other's looked on, their fear becoming more and more noticeable. Finally Morgan took charge.
"He found fluid around Spencer's heart," Morgan replied, swallowing thickly, "That led him to look at his kidney and liver and…"
Morgan had to stop to get control of his feelings. Reid leaned into his brother, needing the comfort that only he could provide, not knowing that his big brother was taking comfort from him at the same time.
"It's bad," JJ finally stated though it was obviously more of a question then anything. There was a tremble to her voice that no one could deny.
Morgan nodded, "Double organ failure. He starts dialysis next week. In the mean time we planned a special diet and he has some meds that the doctor hopes will slow down the process."
"I need a transplant," Reid's voice was void of emotion as he stated what his brother so obviously couldn't, "He said six months without one."
As the team processed the information Reid once again buried his head in the older man's chest. Morgan held him close while the looks of confusion that had started to show were replaced by looks of horror.
"You need a second opinion," Prentiss declared, her eyes wide with worry.
JJ threw herself at the sick man before letting lose loud sobs. Hotch and Rossi let lose a few choice words before gathering the two sobbing members of their team into a tight group embrace.
Morgan excused himself to the bathroom, needing a few moments to get himself back together. At a nod of Rossi, who with a look promised to keep everyone's attention off the missing duo, Garcia slipped away, finding the almost broken man in his room.
"How are you holding up?" She asked the man who still held her heart.
Those five words undid the stoic man, "I can't lose him. Penelope, I can't lose him."
"Ok, ok," She hugged the man with all her might, "We're gonna get through this together. We'll do whatever we have too. We're gonna fight this."
"He has to be all right," Morgan fought the tears that were threatening to fall bravely, "Please Penelope…make him alright."
"I would if I could," Tears fall down the analyst's face, "You know I would if I could Derrick."
Morgan nodded, tears finally pouring down his face, "What am I going to do?"
It was a question that would stay with him always.
TBC…
