7. Confession
Mahiru and Togami's eyes widened, mouths dropping open. Nekomaru blinked once, then smirked and started snickering to himself; what-a-bold-move! Akane blinked more than once, surprised as much as Mahiru and Togami. Their vocalizations of shock were white noise to Hinata. One of Hinata's hands slides to wrap around Komaeda's waist, pulling him in closer and his opposite hand tightens on Komaeda's shoulder, squeezing. Komaeda's grays are wide open, bewildered, and his cheeks flushing. His hands are at his sides, and he's not moving, because he doesn't know why the hell or what is even going on and Hinata is kissing him… Hinata is kissing him?!
Komaeda's mind screams at the volume of a thousand washing machines in one place, bringing him back to that laundry mat of that grim time that his life wasn't making any sense and right now wasn't making any sense, either. Komaeda can't even slow how fast comprehension sailed off, it's already crashing into an bottomless chasm that leaves him silent and unresponsive. He can't think. He can't concentrate. He's shut off. He needs to think. He needs to concentrate, but he just can't concentrate, and Hinata's so soft. Hinata's so warm. No, Hinata's so soft and warm against him, it's insane. Hinata lowers his hand on Komaeda's waist, to the small of his back, and Komaeda knows he needs to do or say something, because if he doesn't, he won't comprehend anything ever again... and is that such a bad thing? No, just a little longer, but no-yes! Yes, need to do something before...
"Hinata-kun—" Only then does Hinata break their kiss.
Hinata opens his glazed greens, breathing quietly. He hasn't pulled away from Komaeda completely, his hands are still on the white-haired man, and Komaeda's eyes are still wider than everyone else's. Their one-sided kiss has ended, but Komaeda can't breathe or he's forgotten how to. He stands there in Hinata's arms, eyes wide, face flushed, and mouth open like a gaping fish out of water.
"Wh-what…" Komaeda blinks, taken further aback. "Hinata-kun—"
"You asked who I was?" asks Hinata, holding Komada's hand tight in his when he turns to the shocked bunch.
"…" Mahiru nervously smiles in answer.
"I'm Hajime Hinata, and I'm Komaeda's friend, but…" Hinata trails off, eyes falling to their connected hands, and Komaeda is so damned confused right now. "I want to be more."
"Hinata-kun!" Komaeda's face colors, heart pounding, and eyebrows raising. Just where the hell did that come from?!
From their kissing, a lot of occupants within the café stared over. The blushing waitresses crowded, swooning at the scene. With all of the attention brought to them from the display and the change of atmosphere, Togami palms his face. He doesn't know what's worse for him in this scenario; the fact that he's been reunited with an old enemy or the fact that that old enemy has admitted homosexuality? To be honest, Togami has only dreamed of this happening and secretly reveled in it afterwards, but for it to actually happen… it doesn't come close to how pleasurable it once was. Sometimes, the imaginary is better than the reality, coming from an underwhelmed Togami at the moment. Mahiru is nervously smiling, holding Togami's hand tightly in embarrassment. Nekomaru is smirking, sending an encouraging wink Hinata's way; that's-the-man! Akane just stares, mouth open so wide, she must have seen her own jaw fall to the floor (imagine how Komaeda must feel).
"Komaeda…" Hinata's face colors slightly and his greens are half-lidded in their gazing of Komaeda's flushed face. He cups Komaeda's chin, lifting it to level their staring of each other. He swallows, Adam's apple visibly bobbing in his throat. "I… I can never take my mind off of you. I…" He tears away, hands never disconnecting. "It's embarrassing… but I like you so much, Komaeda."
And the fujoshi waitresses go wild.
"He's so tsundere!"
"I bet the other boy is dandere~~... Kawaii-desu!"
"Eeeek! It's finally happened! A BL scene right in front of my eyes! I can die peacefully!"
"I can't take it anymore… my ovaries!"
"Kiss him again, boy!"
"Ladies, get back to work!" cries their boss, the incarnation of the devil in his wild, mismatched stare and guttural voice.
When the waitresses shuffle off, Komaeda is relieved. He can breathe, because once they're gone, the curiosity of the other seated occupants falls away. He closes his eyes. He doesn't know how to handle this. He just heard about Hinata's ex, and despite Hinata's shrug off of the subject, Komaeda knows it's unlikely that he's truly over it. There's also that failed attempt at matching him up with Akane. Hinata could be doing this to fill in Akane's role, Komaeda wouldn't doubt it, and Hinata did have a drink of beer before they left... He's probably the slightest of drunk. All of this is just a stupid heat of the moment thing, and it will pass. Komaeda quietly sighs, relieved that his mind isn't completely broken from how shocking all of that had been. As long as he can think straight, nothing should happen, right? And as long as he's aware, Hinata doesn't actually feel that way for him in that way... right?
Komaeda ignores how hard the ache in his chest is at the last question, sulky.
"Whoa…" Mahiru breathes, hoping to break this awkward silence.
"Double-whoa." agrees Akane, crossing her arms over her chest. "My bro is after my ex!"
"It's not like that, Akane…" Hinata sighs softly. "I… I thought if he was happy with someone else... Someone way better than me, I would be okay, but…"
"Little bro!" She hugs him against her, grinning. "Don't say stuff like that! I think you're cute with him. Komaeda?"
Komaeda almost laughs, but he doesn't. Hinata is very convincing for an actor, if that's all this is. Or he's still tipsy. Komaeda doesn't know what it is, but he knows that what Hinata is doing is just for show. He stops his sulking, and like Friday all over again, he's radiating the brightest of energy with a smile, but he forces it. If Hinata can be convincing, then so can Komaeda. "Um… I'm sorry about that, Mahiru." Komaeda sits back down, pretending that the incident hadn't happened, and smiles disarmingly. "May we continue?"
"…" Mahiru blinks, taken aback, but then sits back down, pulling Togami down with her. "Of course."
"What's his deal?!" growls Akane quietly to Hinata.
"It's okay, big sister." Hinata smiles weakly. "I'll… I'll handle it by myself." He rejoins Komaeda.
"Need me still?" asks Nekomaru conversationally.
"You are dismissed." Togami waves his hand.
"C'mon, Akane. I'll get us a place to sit for some breakfast."
"Sweet, Nekomaru!" She kisses Hinata's head, and then, the two are gone.
-7-
The conversation had lacked during the breakfast. It was slow, hesitant, as if Mahiru and Togami were testing the waters, making sure their boat wouldn't sink rock bottom. Komaeda didn't mention or acknowledge Hinata's presence, at all, and it strained the atmosphere. Even Togami didn't make an effort to pick on Hinata anymore, and it made the brunette feel… feel invisible. It made him feel as if he might have gone in the wrong with Komaeda, but doing what?
In the end, Mahiru had her wedding invitations ready and slid it over to Komaeda. The breakfast ended with good-natured goodbyes, and they were seeing each other off. Komaeda and Hinata watch Togami's convertible drive off into the street and drive further, further away from sight. Hinata's sure Nekomaru and Akane are in the back, or something, because he saw suspicious figures moving in the back.
"I think we should leave separately, Hinata-kun." Komaeda breaks the silence.
"…Why?" asks Hinata, turning to him.
Komaeda is still watching where the convertible had gone. His grays are distant, faraway, lips falling to a straight line. He turns to Hinata, remaining incomprehensible.
"Leave in separate cabs."
"I know, but why?"
Hinata can only think of one thing that would have Komaeda demanding separation. The confession he made. That means that Komaeda didn't believe it, he thought it was all for show. That would be no good if they were going to stifle his luck cycle. Hinata needed to convince him the confession was genuine to convince the luck itself. There's a lump in his throat and he's sweating again. He's hesitating. He's only hesitating, because he's never done PDA with a guy before, and he never cared to think or tried to do it with another guy for a reason. He's not gay. Sure, he did only have one serious girlfriend and a couple of fickle others, but still... This is for Komaeda's luck, he thinks to himself.
Komaeda turns his back on him, going to walk away, but swallowing down that lump in his throat, Hinata grabs his wrist.
"Was it my confession?"
"That wasn't a confession." Komaeda laughs softly, turning back blankly. "You have an ex-girlfriend, right? You plan to patch things up with her, right? Hinata-kun, whatever you're trying to do to get her back, don't involve me."
"This isn't about Nanami! I told you, I'm over her!" shouts Hinata, and he's angry. He's really angry, because he can't believe Komaeda would add her into this when he likely doesn't know the full story! He scowls, grabbing Komaeda hard by his shoulders. "This is about my feelings for you."
"Sorry Hinata-kun, for some reason I don't believe you." Komaeda narrows his eyes. No, I just can't believe you would feel anything for someone like me, me even the least, Hinata-kun.
Hinata's been afraid of that answer. It makes sweat bead from his face, it makes lumps tighten in his throat, it makes his hands shake, because he knows he needs to do more to convince Komaeda, but at the same time, he's reluctant to do anymore. He tries to calm himself down. There's nothing to be so scared of, it's only Komaeda, not some other guy, and if he's focusing entirely on the whole point of this damned thing, it's to stop his luck cycle. There's no need to be so nervous, right?
Finally composed of his hesitance, Hinata pulls Komaeda into another kiss. His greens fall closed, and he slides his hands at opposite places. One of them tangles in Komaeda's hair while holding him by the back of his head and the other lingers around his waist. The kiss is soft, tentative, leaving Komaeda dizzy and more. Komaeda is melting and trembling against Hinata, and his heart is pounding hard in his chest, his pale skin is heating up, and that dizziness that makes his world spin faster intensifies, he's seeing stars. Komaeda doesn't understand why, all of this being so confusing, but he can't help wondering... Is this how a first kiss is supposed to feel?
Komaeda has that sudden desire of kissing Hinata back. He wants to kiss Hinata back, either to sate his confusion or out of his own attraction, Komaeda doesn't know, but he's so scared that all of this could be pretend and he's confused, again, because he doesn't want to be hurt. He doesn't want to be abandoned. He doesn't want to be attached. He knows his luck will serve to pull him farther away from anyone that tries too hard to be close to him. His hands are at his sides, and they stay there, because he's scared and doesn't know what to do. Komaeda isn't good at this. He's busy being a melting and trembling mess anyway.
Hinata doesn't care too much about Komaeda's cooperation. He just wants to convince him. Hinata runs his tongue over Komaeda's lips, gently pushing past them to trace his mouth, and when he does, his restraint seems to snap. His fingers are more frantic when they tangle in Komaeda's hair, more insistent on pulling his head closer to his own. His opposite hand runs lowers on Komaeda's waist again, to the small of his back, and his tongue tangles around Komaeda's, warm and wet.
Komaeda only gasps, both frightened and excited, and he pulls away clumsily, red and breathless. That little sound leaves Hinata as flushed in the face as Komaeda, but he smiles small, thinking for sure that Komaeda is redder and more disheveled than he is. The waitresses from earlier are must likely crowding at one of the windows looking into the parking lot, squealing as they see the scene unfolding before them. Komaeda breathes heavily, clutching his head as his world stops spinning and he can think again. Meanwhile, realization is dawning on Hinata. What was that that he did? Did he really almost... touch Komaeda there in public?Where had that come from? He's sure that he's not gay, but it's only just to convince Komaeda, that's all it is.
"Hinata-kun…" Komaeda stares at him, eyes so beautifully glazed that Hinata has a hard time breathing himself.
"Komaeda," Hinata stares back. "Do you believe me?"
"….." Komaeda turns away, hugging himself. "I-I need the time."
"Komaeda…" Hinata's face falls.
"I'm sorry, Hinata-kun. I just… I'll talk to you later." He briskly walks off, leaving Hinata standing there, and again, in Komaeda's wake, there's only the whirlwind of conflicting emotions to spin Hinata right and round.
-7-
Komaeda sits on the couch in his pajamas, laptop on his lap and television on. He's moping. He doesn't know how to feel about anything or anyone anymore, because he's confused. Mahiru, his childhood friend, is getting married to this good-looking, wealthy man, and he has feelings for her, but she's happy and he's happy for her, he really is, but… Hinata suddenly has feelings for him? He suddenly confesses and kisses him while meeting her fiancé after an eventful Friday night? And after learning of an ex-girlfriend he could still possibly like or love?
Komaeda is so confused, and he hates it. He squeezes his eyes shut, knocking his head off the cushion. What should he feel? Who does he feel for? What are these feelings he has? But does it matter? He's trash anyway. He frowns, reopening his eyes. He sees playing on the television is a tragic romance about a slave and a yukaza master, filmed at Towa City. It's very Romeo and Juliet-esque. At first, Komaeda has no interest, but then the longer his grays stare at the screen in front of him, the more he gets distracted from his plight, and well… eventually, he's sitting on the couch, laptop forgotten on the side next to him, and a plastic tub of ice-cream replacing where it was.
"Oh, Fuyuhiko-kun does love you, Peko-chan!" His grays twinkle like stars. "Just kiss already!" He demands between mouthfuls of chocolate and vanilla ice-cream. As the movie goes by, Komaeda goes from squealing like a teenage girl in the movie theatre, to a sobbing mess once the credits roll. "Why Peko-chan!" he sobs out, crying into his palms. "Why did you have to die?! And poor Fuyuhiko-kun… This is so unfair!"
Peko was kidnapped by an isthmus motorcycle gang led by a man named Mondo Oowada. Oowada was out for vengeance, as Fuyuhiko's father attacked their gang before and it resulted in Oowada's brother's death. In a promised exchange for money at first, Fuyuhiko met with Oowada, but only then did Oowada take it far. He was convincing Fuyuhiko to commit mass-suicide with his yakuza clan, and Peko wouldn't allow so many lives to be taken for her, including her own master's. So, in an act of protection and her love for Fuyuhiko, she killed Oowada and herself. Now, Fuyuhiko would be left alone to mourn her death. That was truly sad, and Komaeda's still sobbing about it, until the credits piano is interrupted by a commercial. The commercial is sparkly and bright ugly pink, a contrast to the tragic romance he had been watching. Then, there's this kind of grating but at the same time soothing, womanly voice that keeps him focused on the screen.
"Hello! I'm Magical Rabbit Usami! I spread the teachings of hope and love all around the world!" cries an animated pink bunny in something akin to a magical girl-ballerina costume. "Are you feeling unloved and in despair? You can come down to our website, and we'll sort it all out! We're here to make you know there's hope and love in the world—" the commercial is cut, and an Old Spice one plays.
Komaeda's teary grays stare vacantly at the screen, lingering, and then… he's kicked the empty tub of ice cream off and starts typing up an address on the internet browser. He's desperate to resolve his confusion, to understand, and to just figure out what he should or could do. It's a stupid idea, he knows, but it's not like he can ask anyone else. He has no other friends and asking someone from work would be... Hanamura and Souda think that he's dating Hinata's sister, Akane. Tsumiki has feelings for him, and if he talked to her about Hinata's confession, it would only hurt her feelings. Would she have any solid advice to give him anyway? And, Sonia is very warm and trustworthy, but... It's better asking someone anonymously, he decides. The screen loads to a pink homepage, displaying pictures of the pink bunny "Usami" and the website's navigation options. Komaeda goes to click one when a chat box pops up and someone types to him.
ArcadeBunny – Hello there. How can I help you?
Komaeda blushes shyly. He doesn't know why he's so shy suddenly. He's online. He's anonymous. What's the big deal? He draws a deep, shaky breath as he types back.
Guest – I need help figuring something out.
ArcadeBunny – Like?
Guest – I guess my feelings for someone. I… I've only been friends with them for a little awhile, and I found out about his ex-girlfriend. I don't think he's over her, but he just confessed that he "likes" me in public and he kissed me twice! I don't know how I should feel about all of this. It feels too sudden, and forced. Maybe I'm just being paranoid...
ArcadeBunny – What do you feel when he kisses you?
Komaeda covers his face with his palms, embarrassed. What's the big deal? He asks himself again, heaving another breath. It comes out shakier than the last.
ArcadeBunny – You can tell me anything. Remember, I'm here to help you.
Guest - Well, I feel really warm, and I get lightheaded…
ArcadeBunny – I see.
Guest – What should I do?
ArcadeBunny – Give yourself some time to see how you feel about him. If it doesn't work out, it's not meant to be. Oh, and, you should probably tell him you just want to be friends and that you would think about it. What do you think? Would you be comfortable like that?
Guest – I suppose so...
ArcadeBunny – Good.
Guest – Thank you so much! :)
The chatbox closes, but then, glowing letters appear on the screen in gold; Homework Assignment 1, initiated by ArcadeBunny. Komaeda raises his eyebrow. The homework assignment is a box that can be scrolled down, mentioning that Komaeda has to take ArcadeBunny's advice and report back to her by next week. His face colors again, and he exits out. He sighs, pushing his laptop closed and to the side, before he flops down on the couch. Now, he can relax, even for a little while.
-7-
Nanami blinks, taken aback, before she tilts her head and owlishly blinks again.
"Is something wrong, Chiaki-san?" asks Chihiro.
"Ah, no..." Nanami smiles at her cutely. "I was just wondering..."
"Hm?" Chihiro smiles back.
"Do you think Hinata would kiss a guy?"
Author's Note: Hello there, readers. I'm back. So sorry for the wait (I know what you're thinking; No you're not, or you would stop making us wait). I got distracted, I admit to it, readers, and I'm sorry *fake and gross sob*. I don't regret getting distracted though, teehee. Forgive me. 3 I made Nanami have that sharp intuition when it comes to her man, because Hinata will be in serious trouble later. Double the trouble, as they say, since Komaeda is suspicious.
