And yes a flashback. As for how Kanda got his innocence...um...
Chapter 7
Memories and forgiveness
"I have to get out of here." Yuu hissed quietly as he packed his things. It was a couple hours after midnight. He had just enough time to gather supplies and his newly found weapon so he could leave this place.
He desperately ignored the pangs of anxiousness at the thought of being on his own. If it meant keeping what remained of his family alive, then he would run to the other end of the world. Those things, Akuma?, that attacked him when he found that sword would no doubt hunt him down. And once they found him, they would find his family as well.
I promised Oyajii that I'd protect them at any cost. If leaving will do that, then so be it!
Yuu hefted his bag over his shoulder, along with the black sword and crept to the living room. It was directly attached to the garden and forest. The front door was too creaky, and he couldn't afford to be caught. He silently slid open the side door and was just about to leave - when a soft voice pierce the quiet.
"Aniki?" Crap! He whirled around to see his ototou standing in the living room entrance, his grey eyes wide.
"Yuu-nii, what are you doing?" Kanda stared silently at his little brother, frantically racking his brain for an escape route.
"Rei, what are you doing up? Go back to bed." The boy's doe-eyed expression didn't change. Those soft grey eyes flickered over his atire and luggage, quickly putting things together in his advanced eight-year old mind.
"Are you going somewhere? Where did you get that sword?" Reiichi asked, ignoring the question and order of his Aniki.
Kanda mentally cursed his brother's intelligence. Since the boy was born, he had always had a slightly higher understanding of the world around him. Even now Reiichi was most likely putting everthing together at light speed. Nothing he said could trick him. How the heck was he supposed to leave now?!
"Go back to bed Reiichi! This doesn't concern you!" Reiichi didn't even blink at Yuu's harsh tone, too busy taking in the situation.
"So something did happen. Is that why you're going?" His eyes saddened. "Is that why you're leaving us?" He stiffened at the heartbroken tone. It had been less than a year since he made that promise to his little brother.
I promise that I'll always be here to protect you.
Why did he keep making promises that he couldn't keep?!
"I..." What could he say?"It's important. I-I have to go." If I don't, you and Mother will die!
Reiichi stared at him with an unreadable expression for a long time. A bubble of panic made its way up his chest, if he didn't hurry up the sun would rise and Mother would get up. It would ruin his plans! As his eyes flickered about, understanding dawned on the younger boy's face. He bowed his head, coming to grips with what this meant.
"..Okay..Yuu-nii." He stilled at the sight of that pitiful stance. His heart, still soft at the time, ached seeing his ototou sad; knowing he had done it. He reached out a hand to try and comfort him - until Reiichi looked up.
His usually bright, innocent eyes had a dulled mar in them. Understanding the fact that his beloved brother was breaking his promise, that his trust in him was betrayed, that he might never see him again...and accepting it. A tiny crack in his childish innocence.
"You should go now." Reiichi said with a soft, sad smile. Suddenly Kanda wanted to flee as far away from that smile as possible.
He dashed out of the room, out into the garden before vanishing into the forest. He gave one last glance over his shoulder. Barely visible, was Reiichi standing where he had been only a moment ago, watching him leave.
"...I'm sorry."
It was the last time Kanda ever saw him.
/
It hadn't even been a month since he left home when he met Tiedoll for the first time. He had been resting under a tree, at least an entire prefecture from his home. He had traveled by hitching rides with merchants, trying to keep a low profile. So far no monsters had come after him. Well, at least that's what he had thought.
"Oh? What is a little boy like you doing in a place like this?" Crooned a warblly voice. He glance up to see an old woman smiling kindly at him.
"What's it to you?" Kanda growled getting up to leave. Can't people mind their own business?
"It's just, that sword of yours looks dangerous. Not something a little one like you should have." The woman's voice began to crack. He frowned at the comment.
"Shut up, you old hag-" As he turned to snap at the elderly crone his eyes widened. Shit!
An Akuma's twisted form morphed from the woman's body to loom over him. "Give me..the Innocence!!" The Akuma lunged for him.
Kanda frantically tried to unsheath his sword, but it was too late. Just as it was about to kill him, its body was blasted apart, knocking him onto his butt. As the smoke cleared, Kanda was able to see two men. The older one with glasses stretched out a hand to help him up.
"Are you alright, little one?" He said with a comforting smile.
...
"So Yuu-kun, what are you doing all the way out here with an Innocence. That's very dangerous for a boy of your age." Tiedoll said kindly. Kanda twitched angrily.
"Stop calling me that you accursed old man!!" He shouted, slamming his fist into the table of the noodle shop they were resting in."It's none of your business anyway!" Somehow the two had coaxed him into coming with them to the town they were staying in. They had informed him about who they were, and what they did. After that the ornery old man began to interogate him.
"Such a temper, how cute. You can't be any older than twelve or so. What are you doing away from home? Your parents must be worried about you." He said. Marie sweatdropped. The General was as paternal as usual. His fatherly aura really seemed to annoy this young exorcist.
Kanda didn't dignify him with a reply. Tiedoll took another approach. "Well as you now know, we are exorcists, and are looking for Innocence. That sword of yours, you obtained it quite recently didn't you? I believe that Innocence is the one we were looking for." Kanda glowered at him tightening his grip on said blade.
"Oh, what proof do you have of that?" Tiedoll paused uncertainly for a moment.
"We recieved reports of unusual activity coming from that town up in the mountains. Not too far from here." Kanda stiffened at the mention of his hometown. 'Disappearances, Akuma, and the like. We went there to see if there was an Innocence active. However when we got there, everyone was gone, not a single person." His head jerked up.
"What?! What do you mean gone!?" Dread building up in his heart. Tiedoll's face turned grim.
"All of the people in the town were killed. The village had been torn to the ground by Akuma searching for the Innocence. The people from the neighboring village were burying the dead, when we arrived. There's no one left." Kanda's grip on his sword slackened. He stared down at the wood before him, his mind refusing to accept this horrid tiding.
"No...no, you're lying. YOU'RE LYING!!" He shouted as waves of horror and despair came crashing down on him."That's not possible! My-" His voice cracked. The two men's faces softened in understanding. Tiedoll bowed his head.
"I'm so sorry, Yuu-kun." Kanda didn't hear him.
No. No,no,no,no,NO! It can't! Mother! Reiichi!
They can't be gone!
If they're gone...then what was the point of leaving!?
Kanda leaned over the table, gripping his hair with enough force to rip it, his eyes and throat were burning. "I promised...I..promised-!!" His voice racked with choking sobs.
What good are your promises now?
The two exorcists were silent as the boy grieved his loss. Tiedoll gently laid a hand on his head.
"Yuu-kun, I cannot give you any consolation worth listening to, but with that sword you can fight the Akuma that killed your family. If you join the Black Order, you can gain the strength to fight. To protect." Kanda was silent for a long moment, before slowly lifting his head. His reddened blue eyes burned with a hard fire.
That day he offically joined the Black Order, leaving Japan and every memory of his family behind.
To get stronger...isn't that also how I got my curse?
"You're not satisfyed, are you? The Innocence you weild, it's not enough for you."
"I can give you more power. At a price, of course."
"So...do you want it?"
And where has your greed gotten you?
Kanda forced down a bitter smile as he resurfaced from those memories. Xero watched him quietly, knowing better than to interupt him.
"I don't know if you remember what it was like after Oyajii died, but about month after he bit it, people started to disappear and Akuma started showing up in the neighboring towns. Okaasan started to get nervous and wanted to move, but I didn't want to. We would fight about it." Xero's eyes fogged as he recalled some of their arguements. Yes. He remembered. Yuu had been insistent on staying where Otousan's grave was, while Okaasan wanted to leave for safer ground. It had been a stubborn battle of wills.
"One day we got really pissed at each other, and I ran off for a bit to cool my head. I went to Oyajii's old dojo in the back forest and found a piece of Innocence under the rotten floorboards. While I was looking at it, I was attacked by an Akuma. It wanted the Innocence and tried to kill me; that's when I first synchronised with Mugen. I actually managed to kill it and run back home."
"But afterwards, people from our town started getting killed off. I knew that those things were after the Innocence, and that sooner or later they would find us. I promised Oyajii before he died, that I would protect you guys with my life, and now I was endangering you with my very existance. That's when I decided to leave. About a month later I found out that the village and everyone in it was destroyed. I didn't know what else to do, so I joined the Black Order." Kanda paused in thought. He sharply turned to look at Xero.
"I still don't get how you're here. How the hell did you survive? And how did you get into the Church Military?!"
"..." Xero avoided his gaze, frantically grasping for an explanation. Kanda caught this and scowled at him.
"Oi, you better not be trying to come up with some crack story, ototou." He growled. The Colonel wilted under his brother's burning glare.
"It was a couple of days after you left...Mother got wind of Akuma approaching the village and made preparations for our escape. We caught a supply train to the Kansai prefecture. After that we went to a shipping dock, where Okaasan managed to get a reservation on one of the ships, but..." He smiled weakly.
"I got seperated from her at the docks. I was knocked unconscious when I was hit by a passing cart. Someone must have dragged me onto a different boat, because when I woke up I was somewhere on the mainland alone."
Xero paused, unsure how he would explain the rest of the story. It was not just a matter of classified information, but Kanda's nature. Explaining the details that followed his seperation would cause the older boy to blame himself even more for his mistakes. Kanda watched his brother struggle silently with himself irritably.
He could tell that something happened after that. Something bad. Something that had dragged the boy into the military and caused that exhausted dullness that plagued his ototou's entire body.
"I got into an...unpleasant situation. The Major General saved my life and took me with him to his home in Germany. He adopted me, named me, and educated me for about three years, before I was pulled into the milita." Kanda's sharp eyes cut into him.
"What happened before that? What did he save you from, Reiichi?" They were not questions. Xero's smiley mask reset itself over his pale face.
"An unpleasant situation, Aniki. That's all you need to know." His smile infuriated Kanda to such a degree that he wanted to cleave Mugen into his face. That damn fake smile!
Xero cut off Kanda's attempt to encourage him. "If I told you without due cause, my head goes on the chopping block, no questions asked." This statement did not have the desired effect.
"WHAT?!" He inwardly winced at the yell. Kanda really hadn't changed at all.
"You of all people should know that the Church is hardly the pure and merciful religion it makes itself out to be. The milita is just as bad." My hands are tied Aniki. I'm sorry.
Kanda huffed and looked away again as he digested this new piece of information. Moments like this always made him question his reasons for fighting under the Black Order. How efficiently did they expect their pawns to function with their lives constantly under threat from within.
"So that's it then?" He said in a tightly controlled voice. Kanda was still pissed at the lack of information and the reason for it. But there was nothing he could do now. Xero's smile softened appoligetically.
"Yes. Thank you for being so understanding, Aniki. I really appreciate it." Kanda raised an eyebrow at the display of manners.
"You really have become one of those stuffy nobles. I wouldn't be surprised if you start spouting 'Thus's' or 'thou's' soon. What a wussy little pansy you turned out to be." He said with a teasing sneer. The Colonel pouted at him, allowing himself to fall into the familiar banter of their youth.
"Well this 'wussy little pansy' managed to knock you on your posterior with very little effort, big brother. Perhaps you have gotten soft?"
Kanda popped a vein and grabbed Xero in a tight headlock.
"Who the hell is soft?! I was taking it easy on you, and you know it, gaki!! Next time I'll kick your ass!!"
"Yuu-nii, that hurts." Xero said, his voice muffled by his brother's coat. He looked up at him with a rather satisfied look.
"I'm glad that you are feeling better, Aniki." Kanda started out of their bonding moment, releasing the boy.
"A-ah." He muttered, looking away. The Colonel let out an exasperated sigh.
"I knew this would happen. You're blaming yourself for what happened in my life. For the last time it is not.your.fault." He said firmly. Kanda didn't answer.
Xero was hit by the sudden urge to just smack the older teen with the blunt edge of his saber. Repeatedly.
The exorcist's stubborn, blockheaded guilt-tripping was begining to wear on his longsuffering patience, grown and weathered by babysitting Trevor. Thankfully, Xero was infamous for his saint-like restraint, and did not bludgeon his Aniki's brains out. Instead he considerately opted for his practical, philosophical reasoning.( Besides, blood and gray matter stained worse than wine and were annoying to try and clean.)
"Aniki, can you see the future?" He asked his seemingly random, pulled-out-of-a-different-dimension inquiry. Kanda whipped his head around squinting in confusion..
"What?"
"Can you see the future?" Xero repeated. "Can you accurately predict every consequence of your actions, the effect of every cause? Were you able to tell exactly what was going to happen when you decided to leave us?"
"If you can say 'yes' to any of those questions, then I can honestly say that I despise you with every atom and quark of my being. I do not blame you for doing what you thought was right, Aniki. You were only eleven." He said, determinedly attacking Kanda's thick skull with his spear of rational evidence. If this didn't work, he might have to reconsider his bludgeoning idea. Perhaps a lobotomy was in order?
Kanda gazed at Xero incredulously, his protests withering away at the boy's almost consending tone. Honestly, it was like teaching a particularly stubborn, impressionable child that the sky was blue not green.(Believe me, it's happened.) Not that he didn't have any empathy for what Yuu had suffered as well, but this was getting ridiculous.
"You need to learn how to let things go, Yuu, or else you'll burn out." He finished, looking rather tired. The Colonel stood up and made to exit the room to resume his duties. He would have to leave Kanda to chew on it for a bit; the guy was at least nineteen, he should be able to figure things out for himself. As his little brother, Xero wasn't supposed to be spoon-feeding practical sense to the older Kanda.
Sometimes being your brother's polar opposite was really a drag. He picked up his discarded tarp-like cloak leaving Kanda to watch him in silent thought.
Xero paused at the door to give his brother a parting shot.
"I'll be looking forward to that rematch sometime, Yuu-nii." He said softly with a wide smile. The tip of his cloak flapped sharply as he disappeared down the hall.
Kanda sat there allowing the speech to sink in. He felt as though a heavy weight had suddenly slipped off of his shoulders, leaving him feeling light and disoriented. His little brother had forgiven him the moment he left them. Just like that. He gave a bitter chuckle as the built up negative energy leaked out of him.
So stupid...
He couldn't help but feel that they were both idiots. He was an idiot for clinging to his mistakes, and Reiichi was an idiot for being so understanding. Too understanding. It was so frustrating and anti-climatic.
But...at the same time it was refreshing to have that burden of guilt removed after all of these years. Kanda felt like he could breathe again. He felt strangely happy.
Che. That brat. Hardly a day after seeing him, and I'm already going soft.
He allowed his face to harden again as he thought about Reiichi's earlier statement.
"If I tell you without due cause, my head goes on the chopping block."
" 'Without due cause', eh? Tch. I'll find out some other way then." Maybe I can 'coax' a few scraps from one of those soldiers...
With that, Kanda got to his feet, temporarily satisfyed with his decision.
Meanwhile several of the rookie soldiers felt the cold finger of danger slide down their backs, while Lieutenant Milo and Second Lieutenant Hawkins sneezed.
Another annoying chapter. I won't be able to update much, due to the school year starting. I have really hard AP classes coming up.
None the less, R&R.
