"Once in a young lifetime one should be allowed to have as much sweetness as one can possibly want and hold. "
-Judith Olney
"PARENTING!" Mr Buggles shouted as soon as the bell rung, shaking Dorcas out of her stupor. She couldn't figure out why she was taking this muggle studies class. It seemed most of her graduating class was, as well as numerous others from other houses, with the exception of Slytherins. She glanced over at Shannon, who was sitting next to her, doodling on a spare bit of parchment. She seemed immune to Mr. Buggles' shouting.
"Muggles and Wizards both do it, but muggles do it differently. For the next three weeks I will pair you up with a class mate. During this time you will put together a book depicting your marriage, married life, and at the end of the project, your ability to be good parents to a child. I will be pairing you off," he added again, giving James a look, who was grinning broadly. "There will be no changing partners. there will be no divorces and marriages to other people. Think of it as an arranged marriage. It's a three week project, and worth a substantial bit of your grade. It's not complicated people," he added, sounding tired. Dorcas smiled to herself, imagining the problems other students who had long since passed must have given him.
"There are an odd number of boys to girls in this class," he added as he unfurled a piece of parchment. "So two males will be paired together. I am hoping the two paired together will show maturity and understanding to the subject. Now them. Bennington and Lupin, you will be paired together-"
"Wait," Samuel Bennington looked up at the teacher confused. "Are you talking about me or Shannon?"
"Shannon," Mr. Buggles said, and Dorcas stood up to allow Remus to sit next to Shannon.
"Evans and Epson," he continued.
"WHAT?!" James voiced loudly, but the teacher ignored him.
"Jackson and Pettigrew."
Mary smiled and looked over at Peter, who joined her at her table. James huffed loudly again.
"Meadowes and Harrison."
Spencer Harrison, a good looking Ravenclaw beater, flashed Dorcas a smile as she walked over to his table and set her things down.
"Marry me?" he joked.
"I thought you'd never ask," she smiled playfully, ignoring Sirius who was giving Spencer a look of death.
"Potter and....Black..."Mr. Buggles looked slightly frightened to say the pairing out loud. The whole room fell silent before James and Sirius began roaring with laughter.
"I thought he said he wanted maturity?!" Lily exclaimed. "He picked the wrong people for that!"
"Settle down, settle down!" Mr. Buggles yelled. "I picked Mr. Black and Mr. Potter because of the friendship they exhibit. I thought they would be best suited for each other!"
Sirius was down on one knee looking very serious. "James...I have loved you since the moment I first laid eyes on your beautiful face. Say you'll marry me."
James, who had one hand in Sirius's, placed his other over his mouth and pretended to wipe away a tear. "I love you."
They then began to furiously embrace, causing the rest of the class to errupt yet again in laughter.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Mr. Buggles screamed. Everyone looked at him curiously, but stopped laughing.
"Now then...where was I..."
"He must be out of his mind," Spencer said as Dorcas and him began looking through wedding catalogs.
"It'll work out. Oooh, what about this?" she pointed at a poofy wedding dress. Spencer wrinkled his nose. "You're wearing it, not me."
"Well yeah," she laughed, turning the page.
"I was thinking we could get together tomorrow night in the library and start putting most of this together. The wedding part will be easy, just cut and paste, add all our expenses, and what not."
"That's sounds fine," Dorcas smiled as the bell rang.
"Around seven?"
"I'll be there."
"You know, in real life that would never happen." A voice behind her made her leap twenty feet out of her seat.
"What would never happen? You and James getting married, because I don't think he's too off target there," she smiled at Sirius as they began walking down to the Great Hall.
"No, you and Harrison," he said, smiled still plastered all over his face.
"Don't make this difficult Sirius. He didn't ask me out, we were put together for this project. You know that if we could have chosen I would have picked you."
Sirius seemed to think about this for a minute. "Well, I think I would still have chosen James. James is going to wear a wedding dress."
Dorcas laughed. "See. Concentrate on having the perfect marriage with James, and I'll work on mine with Spence, and before you know it, we'll be done and learning something new about those wacky muggles."
"Spence?" Sirius asked.
"Spencer. Whatever. Spence is less syllables."
"Barely."
"What do you know about Jack Epson?" James cut in between Sirius and Dorcas, looking slightly manic.
"Um...he's nice..." she saw Sirius's face darken. "I mean...he's terrible and cuts people up into tiny pieces with a switch blade."
"A what?'
"Never mind."
"Should I be worried?"
"Honestly James, I think Lily should be worried. You two make a cute couple," Dorcas said exasperated and walked away, leaving the two chuckling behind her.
"I hate this project," Shannon complained two nights later.
"It's not so bad," Dorcas smiled, having already completed her wedding album the night before.
"Dorcas is done," muttered Mary, who was gluing pictures into her book.
"Really? Let me see your book," Shannon asked, pushing away the magazines she was flipping through.
"Sure," Dorcas pulled the book out of her bag, which was bound in a white cover.
"Awww...cute!"
"It was Spencer's idea, not mine," she said, embarrassed.
"Did you use magic to do this?" Lily asked, looking at the front picture, which depicted Dorcas and Spencer hugging on the front.
"No, we actually took it. It's cute, isn't it? I'm going to frame it when the project's done with," she smiled, looking down on it.
"You actually had someone take your pictures?" Mary asked, flipping through it.
"Yeah, Jerry Hallaway will if you ask. He's in Spencer's house, so it was no big deal, we have the same free period, so we went down to the grounds and took some pictures, changed clothes a couple times to make them look authentic. It was a lot of fun, Spence is really funny."
"I'm sorry, did you just say Spence again?" Sirius called from across the noisy and crowded common room.
"It's creepy how he can hear that," Mary whispered, and the four broke out into nervous giggles. Sirius scowled but went back to his gobstone game with James.
"He hears it every time. I said it the other day in class, and I swear I thought he would burst in," Dorcas whispered again, trying to fight back the giggles.
"He's not as bad as James. He hexed Jack the other day for asking if I wanted to honeymoon in South America," Lily whispered back.
"That's because South America is tacky and over priced!" James called over.
"They're using magic," Dorcas concluded. "No way that James heard that."
"I think they just are naturally attuned to listening to you two. You should be grateful, I wish Chris listened half as well as James or Sirius," Shannon said, looking at the dress Dorcas had picked out.
"Yeah. Well, sometimes I wish they would give me some room to breathe," Dorcas muttered, looking at Spencer in a tux. "We just taped our heads over the outfits, by the way."
"It looks really realistic."
"Well, I used magic to be honest," Dorcas admitted.
"Good. I'm done with stupid glue sticks, they're messy and sticky and get everywhere," Shannon announced, capping her glue and tossing it into her bag.
"How is Remus?" Mary asked, magicking a picture of her and Peter into her book.
"Good. He seems bored by it all," she said gloomily.
"So does Jack," Lily commented, filling out her sheet of prices. "Plus he wants to have a traditional Catholic wedding, but he has no idea what Catholic is, and neither do I. I wasn't raised around religion."
"Why are you taking a muggle studies class to begin with?" Shannon asked. "You were born a muggle."
"Ancient Runes was full," she said. "So I figured, easy NEWT."
"Yeah, my dad is a muggle. I know most of this stuff. I'm really worried about this baby thing. Are they giving us a real baby?" Dorcas asked as she stuffed her album back into her bag.
"What idiot in their right mind would give James and Sirius a baby?" Lily asked.
"That is a really good point," Mary laughed.
The next morning was a Saturday, and a Hogsmead visit, which put Dorcas in an exceptionally good mood. She threw on jeans and a dark black t-shirt that said "ELVENDORK" in neon pink letters on it, a pair of white tennis shoes, and wandered down into the common room.
"Morning good looking," Sirius greeted her, sitting in a chair. He had a book propped up in his lap and it appeared as if he was reading.
"Are you reading?" she asked incredulously, sitting down on the arm.
"No, I was sleeping. I actually have no idea how this got here," he said, closing the book in his hands.
"I was going to say, since when do you read," she laughed.
"Going into Hogsmead today?" he asked cheerfully, pulling her into his lap.
"I was planning on it. I need a quill, plus I am dying for some sugar, you don't even know."
He smiled, planting his lips on hers. "There you go, sugar."
"You're so lame," she laughed, kissing him back. The kissing deepened, and before she knew it his hands were wrapped around her waist and her hands were running through his hair. This was nice, it was the first time she had really spent kissing him, and he was excellent at it. She knew at least half of the rumors about him had to be true.
"Excuse me, but you're kissing my husband," James commented from behind Dorcas, effectively ruining the moment.
"Nice James. Real cute," Dorcas replied, climbing off of Sirius and flopping down on a sofa.
"Hey! You're wearing our shirt! I'm going to go put mine on!" James jumped over the back of the sofa and up the stair, presumably to change shirts.
"You and James have a shirt?" Sirius asked, looking incredibly handsome from the chair she just left him in.
"Yeah. He's obsessed with the name Elvendork. It's unisex you know," Dorcas told him as Sirius moved next to her on the sofa. He was dangerously close again.
"Oh yeah? Unisex you say?" he said, his breath in her face.
"Mmhmm," she closed her eyes as they began kissing again.
"Seriously?! You two need a room!" James yelled from the stairs.
"Just wait, James," Dorcas threatened, looking at him in a matching black t-shirt with bright blue "ELVENDORK!" written across it.
"Best. . EVER!" he said, sitting next to her.
"What's the joke?" Sirius asked, looking amused.
"Well, Dora was trying to come up with a name for her owl-"
"We're sitting in his parents kitchen mulling over names-" Dorcas cut in.
"When I suggested Elvendork-" James smiled, remembering the memory.
"His dad walks past and says, 'it's unisex, you know'-"
"And we laughed for a good forty eight hours straight."
"So, it was kind of a joke, all summer. Any time anyone said anything, James would say, "Elvendork! It's unisex, you know."
"And we would start laughing all over again."
"So, for James's birthday, I decided to make t-shirts."
"And wherever we go, people always ask about the name."
"And we say, "it's unisex, you know!"
The two were busting up laughing the whole time. Sirius chuckled, but didn't seem to find it as funny. "Guess you had to be there."
"Just wait, mate. Someday we'll get to use it together and it will be just as funny," James was still laughing incredibly hard.
"I am so hungry I could eat...Oh. Hello James..." Lily and Shannon had just walked down from the girls common room, and for some reason the sight of James made them look incredibly guilty.
"Hello ladies," he smiled, running his hands through his hair. "May I escort you to breakfast?"
"No, that's okay. I'll meet you in Hogsmead, okay?" Lily said as Shannon eyed his shirt oddly.
"What's Elvendork?" she asked as Sirius yelled, "NO DONT!"
Dorcas and James burst out laughing. "It's unisex, you know!"
Breakfast was uneventful, and the trip down to Hogsmead was too. Dorcas walked down with Shannon and Mary, allowing James and Sirius to plan fun and immature pranks with Peter and Remus.
"Have you ever thought of dating Remus?" Mary asked Shannon.
"He's already seeing someone," she frowned, looking ahead at the brown haired boy.
"Yeah, but Sirius goes on and on about how Gryffindors should date Gryffindors," Dorcas informed her as she put her hands into her jean pockets.
"Sirius just said that to lure you into dating him. I doubt he cares who Remus, Peter, or James date," Mary said shrewdly.
"Besides, I'm seeing Chris, remember?" Shannon reminded them.
"Hey, I just thought if would be fun if we were all paired together," Mary smiled as they reached the village.
"It would be kind of cliche," Shannon contradicted. "I'm off to Madame Puddifoots! See you guys later," she waved as she bounded off for the tiny shop.
"I wish Peter would take me into Madame Puddifoots," Mary sighed as they walked into Scrivenshafts.
"I hope Sirius never does," Dorcas said as she absentmindedly picked up a quill.
"You two are pretty much perfect."
"I know, right?" she agreed, looking at one with a large green feather.
"Would you say he's your dream guy?"
"Of course she would. Wouldn't you?" The two looked up to see Sirius standing there, running his hands through his hair and grinning.
"You are so arrogant Sirius," Dorcas said, walking off with him as Mary wandered over to where Peter was.
"Yeah, I know. Many people have said it...teachers...friends...Snivillus....my mom...personally, I think they're all just jealous of my good looks."
"You think McGonagall and your mom are jealous of your good looks?" Dorcas asked incredulously.
"Especially professor McGonagall," he said breezily as they walked out into the cool autumn weather.
"You're ridiculous."
"And you are a lucky, lucky lady. All the ladies in the school are jealous of you."
This statement caused Dorcas to stop dead in her tracks and put her hands on her hips. "Sirius. No one cares who you or I date. Maybe people notice for, what, ten seconds, and then they go about their lives. If I were that important to anyone that they were jealous of me for more than oh point one second, they need to seriously reexamine themselves closely-"
"Okay. Sheesh, it was just a joke, calm down crazy."
Dorcas narrowed her eyes. "Sirius Orion Black-"
"Hey, Dorcas!" They both spun around to see Spencer jogging towards her, a small envelope in his hands.
"Hey Sirius," he greeted cheerfully.
Sirius's eyes were narrowed into slits. "Harrison..."
"I have the pictures we took. Some are ones already in our album, I just thought you'd like a copy, and then the others are the ones with the aging potion we took. They look really realistic, we look like we could have been married for years. I made copies of some, so you could keep them, I know you mentioned you wanted to frame some."
Dorcas took the envelope from him. "Aw, thanks Spence. That was really nice. I'll start putting them in the other book, and we'll already be a fourth of the way done."
"Yeah, this project is turning out to be a lot of fun, don't you think?" he asked, his eyes alight with excitement.
"Yeah, it's not too bad."
"Loads," Sirius quipped, still looking irritated. Spencer seemed to catch Sirius's mood.
"Well, I'll see you later Dorcas. Bye Sirius."
"BYE SPENCE!" Sirius yelled when Spencer was a good twenty feet away.
"You're messed up, you know that?" she rounded on him.
"What?" Sirius was trying to look innocent and failing.
"You don't have to be a jerk. Just because he's not James doesn't mean you have to be rude."
"You're right. Would you like for me to start calling you Mrs. Harrison?"
"It's just a project, Sirius," she said, exasperated.
"Oh yeah? Then what's with the pictures?" he pulled the envelope out of her hand and started going through them. Most of them were silly, them in angora sweaters looking like they were forty five, but some were from the first session they had done, where they were young and just messing around. Sirius stopped at a really pretty one of Dorcas alone in the shot, sitting on a bench and smiling out into the distance. There were two of them, and he was suddenly glad for Spencer and his odd interest in this project.
"Can I have this one?" he asked, fingering it lightly.
"Sure, if it gets you off my back."
"How come none of them move?" he asked, wishing she would smile up at him in the picture, or wave.
"Because muggle pictures don't move," she said, taking the pictures back and putting them in the envelope.
"Oh. Well...this is really pretty. And I don't have a legitimate picture of you," he mumbled as they walked towards Honeydukes.
"Do you have one at all?" she asked.
"Yeah, it's got James in it though. I stole it from him, I think his mom took it."
"Does he know?" she frowned as they entered the shop, and for a moment she forgot she was with Sirius. Honeydukes was on her top ten list of favorite places in the world. Dorcas was addicted to candy in an unhealthy way, and was pretty positive that in ten years she would be massive because of it. Somehow the idea of this cheered her, and she began walking towards the chocolate.
"Yeah. I have it hanging it up next to my bed."
This caused her to pause next to some every flavor beans. "How come I didn't see it when I slept there Halloween?"
"I took it down. I didn't want you to think I was a creepo like James."
She burst out laughing as she grabbed a bar of chocolate and put it under her arm.
"Buying candy today?" he asked, amused. Everyone in Gryffindor tower was well aware of Dorcas' obsession.
"As much as I can carry," she grinned.
Dorcas wasn't kidding. She bought just about one of everything. Sirius watched, amused at first, but towards the end he was rather alarmed at the amount of sugar his girlfriend, who seemed small to him, was preparing to consume. He did, however, pay for it all, refusing her attempts to pay for it herself, saying he would be a lousy boyfriend if he let her waste her money in his presence.
"Thanks for the candy," she smiled as he carried her bags into the common room.
"Of course. I have to spend my parents money as unwisely as I possibly can," he smiled, dropping it all on the table.
"Candy seems like a good start, she smiled.
He sat down on the couch and pulled her right down next to her. "Now..James is out with Lily, and probably won't be back for hours. This place is deserted. What should we-"
She cut him off, smiling when his lips met hers.
