Leaving Today.

Chapter 7.

Shambles.


I gripped onto the bag in my hand.

I wasn't aware of how much time had gone by. Seconds, minutes, hours. A day could have passed.

A flood of memories pierced my cranium. Digging so deep into my brain that I sank to the ground. Dropping the bag, the contents spilled all over the grass around my knees. They didn't matter right now. Perhaps they wouldn't ever matter again. I could feel my frame shake violently. It was uncontrollable. I didn't even try to stop it. My irises burned so intensely that I could no longer see the violet of the sky.

My hopes crashing into the dirt as if they had taken up the form of a meteor colliding into the earth. What could I do? Cry. Scream. Throw myself into the dirt with my dreams. Crumble and buckle into the heap that was once my home - this dwelling.

I let out a wail that was so mind blowing that it even pained my own ears. I hunched over my knees, digging my nails into the land. I dug into it so hard that they started to break and bleed. But the pain never came. My tears fell, forgotten, and sinking into the stinking dirt. I resented them.

Sitting atop the ruins that was once Kaede's hut. Amongst this destruction and the thick stench of emptiness. I felt true pain rip through my body. Smashing and crushing everything inside of me that I once held dear. It was exactly that of which it reeked of. Absolute nothingness. The stale air was too thick, the scenery was too real. Why couldn't my eyes tell me a lie?

Rotting wood strewn about for miles, skeletons mangled and twisted. The necks and spines nearly broken from the rest of their bones. Old blood stained around the remains of their tattered clothing, ragged, and worn with age. My head spun as I fought the urge to lay down upon the dead landscape and never wake. Hesitantly, I crawled. My legs had failed me, I squirmed my way towards a distorted corpse that had been half eaten by vermin. The tears still fell, and I felt my lower lip trembling so erratically that my teeth were chattering together. I sucked in a breath of air. My hands found their way onto a piece of the corpses' clothing. I gripped onto it, feeling the icy, dampness of its texture. I shivered, pulling myself up, effectively hovering over the corpse.

It was the decomposing body of a young child. It's eyes and face half eaten. It was a young boy – one that I hadn't recognized – but it didn't change the fact that it was indeed a child. Somewhere in the back of my mind an image of Shippou appeared. Cheeks puffed out with a half grin. Emerald eyes as vast as the greenest forest, shining with mischief. A lump of fur bounding its way towards me and launching itself into my arms. I craved to see those sparkling eyes again. If only the dead could speak. I chanted a silent prayer for this poor child's soul. Whatever had gotten a hold of him had nearly bent him in half.

Wiping the tears and mud from my face I crawled away from the decaying little mass. I wondered how long it would take to sift through every single skeleton and burnt down hut in the village. Surely my friends had gotten to safety, right? Even old Kaede. . .she still possessed some spiritual power. Surely InuYasha would not let such a fate befall our friends. Even if he was an insufferable jerk, and a little out of control at times. Never in a million years would he stand by idly while innocent people were being twisted in half. He himself would never fall victim to such atrocities. He was one of the strongest demons I knew, aside from his half brother and Naraku.

But if that were to be true, why did InuYasha not save these innocent people? I couldn't help but feel a burning sensation well up into my throat. It was a sense of foreboding like I have never experienced before. There was no doubt in my mind that if he were near the village that he would have put a stop to this tragedy. There was no reason for InuYasha to leave his home. I felt my eyes narrow at the revelation that dawned on me, unwillingly. But I refused to utter it, aloud.

Could it really be that I was too late to aid them?

It couldn't; I confirmed ridding myself of these unwanted thoughts. I was being a pessimist again. It was a habit I started to pick up after the last incident involving InuYasha. But for now I had to stay positive. The voice had guided me here for a reason. If all of my friends were truly dead, what other reason would I have to linger in this era? If they weren't involved what other reason would I have to defend anything?

Even so a lot of questions still loomed over my mind making me grit my teeth. Why would my friends allow this entire village to be mutilated? Why would InuYasha allow someone to build a house over the dry well? Did he really not care whether I returned? Perhaps the answer was more painful than the actual question. It felt as if I were being ripped in two. My heart always won out against my logic. Sometimes I acted a little rashly, always jumping to conclusions, but never solving the puzzle. In a way I was no different from my hot headed, thick skulled, hanyou love. He was always so rash and daring. Always charging in without an actual plan.

I decided that if I had to live, I had to regroup and get an actual plan. The lives of the people I loved were at stake. My own life was at stake.

I decided to have a thorough look around the village. This was the official start point, so I tried my best to stand my ground with as much courage as I possessed. Cowardice ran through my veins as I trekked around this ground zero. Examining many dead bodies, and broken huts.

The dead told me nothing. As I had searched well over a hundred bodies, and on the bodies lied no evidence, or clues to the whereabouts of my friends. Nor did they tell me what had actually happened to them. Stopping upon a very fresh looking corpse, I peered down at the form. This one was most unusual. It was as if it had been preserved. I could only guess the person that once operated the body had not eaten very healthily. Because the body remained fresh as morning dew. Startled by its appearance, I turned the body over to inspect it to the best of my abilities. The back was nearly shredded. I couldn't think of a better word to describe this mess. Long, engorged marks took up the majority of its skin. Yellow puss was dripping from the wounds, the odor assaulted my nose making me want to vomit. I held my breath and removed the shirt from its back.

The marks were familiar. There were four indentations running down the length of his spine. Almost as if the thing that had done this had carved him in this mannerism on purpose. They were similar to the markings etched in the dirt that led to the village. But these ones were unmerciful, enraged. They were so deep that you could see the bones sticking out from beneath his marred skin. Flinching at the grotesqueness I stepped away from the body, this time with a shudder. "My god." I whispered into the haze of emptiness. My eyes scanned across all of the bodies I had just searched, not wanting to look at their wretchedness any longer I let my eyes roam upwards. For the first time since I had come back today, I had just noticed the sun kissing the horizon. Darkness was about to overtake the sky. I cursed it silently. Hoping for a moon fuller and brighter than any I had seen before.

As I saw the first makings of a glittering star – I plopped onto the ground – succumbing to the night.

I wasn't sure how I was going to survive the night. It was blistering cold in this era. The moon was pale and mocking, laughing at me with its dimly lit surface And even so, I could still see the newly formed snowflakes shimmer from the reflection of its shine. The flakes fell hard. Making a thin layer of white on top of my jacket and jeans. I hadn't been worried until the snow found its way to my eyelashes, making me blink and rub at my tired eyes. I pulled my jacket as close to me as possible, retrieving the items I had acquired from the well. I hoisted the bag on top of my shoulders once more, and dug around in the spare for my flashlight. I also cursed at my lack of batteries. I clicked it on, grateful for the tiny bit of light it supplied me. It wasn't enough to fight the blindingly pure sheets of snow that blocked my path, but at least I was allowed the privilege of seeing where my legs were carrying me.

I zipped my jacket all the way up to my lips. I could see my shaking breath in the air, puffing out like a gust of smoke. I kept my eyes downwards, careful not to inhale through my mouth. I didn't have the slightest hunch of which direction I should go. I just started walking. I hadn't much choice.

I concentrated on my feet, holding the flashlight into a suitable position. The light from the device bounced with my step. I still could hear nothing but the unforgiving howling of the wind, and the snow flying passed my ears. There were no presences to sense. Nothing to be smelled, tasted, or touched. I needn't worry about what could possibly be lurking in this blackness. There was nothing to be seen. Just me, Kagome. Walking around in the abyss, alone. Five hundred years from home. With pieces of a missing riddle, with no riddle to solve.

As the snow started to get more dense, I noticed my feet disappearing. Evaporating in the white. I could feel the stinging seeping into my skin.

It hadn't changed the fact. . .that there was no more sanctuary to turn to.


The concept of time in this era held a hollow meaning. I was sure that the night would end by now. But it hadn't, it dragged on and on. Infinite. Just as the raging snow that knifed itself into my body. There was no end to it.

I couldn't count the number of corpses I had tripped over in the night. I couldn't begin to imagine how many pieces of charred wood and bamboo I had spotted with my flashlight.

It was all the same.

Burnt down villages, with matching inhabitants. As I fought my way further from Kaede's village - the more gruesome the remains. By the looks of these human shells, Kaede's village had almost been spared. Whomever it was committing these horrific murders, must have had a softer side for the place we once called home. These people however; not so lucky.

At first I had been a tad bit more optimistic. The marks in the soil had even led me away from the village. But as I stood knee deep in snow, that was no longer a luxury. I heaved a sigh. The freezing temperature was starting to get to me. And I prayed with every bone, tendon, cell in my body that I would eventually stumble upon shelter. A person sounded much better. At least then I could get some type of explanation. Though for the life of me, I don't know anyone capable of slaughtering all of these likely-innocent village folk. Not even Naraku himself had done anything so tremendous. I couldn't understand what had the power and strength to destroy so many lives. I wondered how many of them screamed, cried, begged, tried to crawl away. I found it better not to guess about such things.

I was worried about my friends. But I had this itching feeling that wherever they were. They were just fine. I hadn't seen any clothes that had resembled my friend's. I'm sure amongst them their senses were impeccable enough to sense the danger and find some sort of refuge. I was more worried about finding that refuge. If I were them, where would I run? Of course it was a pretty stupid question, considering I wouldn't have the first clue. I could only surmise that Sango, Miroku and Kirara would not separate. Shippou - being the young, and loyal kitsune that he was - would have probably followed them to the ends of hell and back. InuYasha was a different story. If I wasn't around to 'get in the way' then he would have fled to Kikyou to protect her.

I felt the bitterness settle into my stomach.

That would have been his number one priority. I would have assumed that Kaede would have gotten word of this predicament, and rushed the other villagers to safety. However that was ripped away rather forcefully after witnessing the demise of the village. With that, I could only hope that Miroku and Sango had assisted her.

Koga would have high tailed it for sure, Ayame and his pack hot on his blazing trail. Sesshomaru would have snatched Rin up immediately and taken her someplace safe. So I didn't have to be bothered about them either. Biting my lip I realized that my options were limited. I didn't know my way around very well.

I only knew of the old Totosai's cave, Koga's den, and a few places where Naraku had been hiding during our journey. I would settle for the first two. If all else failed, I would return to the ghostly battle fields we had the misfortune of bleeding upon. It was quite a journey to the old Totosai's cave. The ancient youkai lived far off the beaten path. Almost into the mountains. It could take weeks for me to get there myself. Koga's den laid even farther. I could imagine getting there in a month or so on foot.

"Well aren't we eager today." It was the second voice. It sounded oddly joyous for such an occasion. I grimaced, not appreciating its enthusiasm.

"I don't suppose you're here to give me directions?" My voice sounded almost foreign. I hadn't a need to talk for what seemed like years. The voice gave me no response. I huffed. "Figures.'"

"I'm sorry Kagome. I fear that I can't help you in that way. All I can do is provide you with support. You look like you could use a little." It was soothing me again,

"I don't know about support. But I could really use a hot bath, and a few extra layers of clothes." I admitted to the voice. I pictured the owner of it frowning in my mind.

"I would like you to concentrate on your breathing. I'm afraid that swallowing too much of this chilling wind will give you ill health." I blinked as it stated the obvious. I could feel the corners of my mouth twitching upwards for the first time in hours.

"Are you concerned about me then?" I teased it.

"I am not." The voice teased back. "Although clumsy and scatterbrained I do believe you will be just fine. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for." It was sincere. I blushed, appreciating the heat that rose to my cheeks.

"Thank you." I smiled into the darkness. The voice was silent for a moment. "Say, voice girl." It laughed at the uncreative nickname. "Is there something that I can call you? Or perhaps you can just give me your real name."

"I fear that I cannot supply you with that information. However you may call me what you wish." The voice paused. "Just make up a name, if you desire me to have one. Whatever you pick I shall live with."

"Live with, huh?" I chuckled darkly.

"Very funny." It let out a weak laugh in retort.

"Well let me see here. . ." I trailed off looking into the darkness. My feet still carried me to an unknown destination. I had lowered the flashlight significantly. I felt more at ease talking to the voice, it was sweet, calm, and something akin to charming. It was also a part of me. What should I call it?

"Kagome?" The voice sounded worried, almost cringing at my silence. I cleared my throat, and stilled my movements for a few passing seconds.

"Maro." I spoke before continuing my pace.

"Pardon me?"

"I'll call you Maro-chan." Clutching onto my bag anxiously, I lifted the flashlight back into its original position. The snow wasn't letting up, it was only getting worse. I wished to see my feet and knees, but they were completely buried. The snow melting into my shoes, soaking them. Perhaps the voice didn't appreciate the name very much. It was quiet. "If you want I can think of another-"

"No. . .that's alright. . .I. . ." The voice laughed outright, startling me. "I just wasn't expecting that. It's kind of nice really."

"I'm glad you think so. I hope you're really not just a voice in my head though." Grinning I pushed my way up a rough, snowy hill. My teeth chattered slightly against the blistering temperatures. It was nothing short of a white-out. As far as my eyes could see there was nothing but colorless flakes rushing about in every single direction.

"I assure you, Kagome. You are most certainly not insane. You did not just create an illusion in your head. I once existed, remember?"

"Yeah, but how do I know that I just didn't make up some elaborate story with my temporary lapse of sanity?" It was a legitimate question. A lot of people have multiple personalities, or some type of imaginary friend. I was never known to have anything of the sort, not even when I was young. Maybe I was just regressing?

"Come now, don't you think you're going a bit overboard? I never took you to be the paranoid type. I always thought you to be fairly naive. But it seems that you will not trust in me." Maro-chan was silent, as if mulling over something. "You have changed from before, correct?"

"You could say that. . ." Biting at my lip, I felt my eyes stinging from the intrusion of the snow. I sucked in a deep breath as the wind picked up dramatically, making it almost impossible to stand upright. "Shit, this is bad."

"You need to seek shelter, immediately." Maro-chan informed me. I had already known that. I glared at her inwardly. "My apologies. . .I am rather surprised that you cursed."

I sweat dropped at the random confession. "No offense Maro-chan. But that's the least of my worries. I have only changed as we all change. We change every single day, every single waking moment, we're changing in some aspect. Molded, and kneaded, taking on a different shape. I can't say that I'm proud of some of the choices I've made, abandoning my friends, letting jealousy fill me with bitterness. And as much as I loathe coming to terms with the situation, I know it means nothing. I can't take it back, the only choice I have is to fix it, or leave it broken. I'll be damned if I settle for the second. I've been a fool."

"Before you seemed quite determined that leaving was the best option for you. Do you not take your own feelings into consideration any longer?"

"That's the problem." I gritted my teeth trying to fight the winds. I was certainly no match for mother nature. It didn't matter though, I had no choice but to accept her challenge. I could feel my body straining against the wind and snow, my legs ready to give out, but I kept going. There was no way I would die out here. Not when I had gotten this far. "I've been thinking of only my own feelings for so long now. I was always the 'supposed' selfless one, Maro-chan. Always putting others before me, never resolving my own issues, but solving other's. I ignored the fact that while I was here, I was still only a mortal. I shouldn't have ignore myself, I guess I just snapped."

"It's understandable. You're absolutely sure that this is for the best? The wreckage you've seen so far does not discourage your resolve?" This is the first time I've heard Maro-chan sound skeptical.

"What difference does it make?" I laughed hollowly into the wind. "This is nothing, compared to the pain that I felt these passed few years. This at least is tolerable. Manageable even. I can't live with all of these regrets anymore. All of these 'what ifs.' It's like existing but never truly living. I want to live again. Even if I have to suffer to get to them. I will retrieve my second-family once more. Life is just not worth living without them. Even saying goodbye to them as they slept, my heart was empty."

"What if those that which you seek are no longer among the living?"

"They are!" I snapped at her a little too harshly, feeling vulnerable. "I can feel it. Please don't ever say that, Maro-chan. This isn't for nothing."

"Forgive me, if you believe that's how it is, I will not say anything against it. I'm merely fascinated by your determination. It's very envious." Her voice was barely above a whisper, with an edge of hurt. I grimaced.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell." I shouted, trying to speak over the howling wind. "I have my plan set, now I just need to put it in motion. There's not much I can do in a storm like this. I'm just going to have to wait for it to blow over. If I can ever find some shelter. . .I don't suppose you have some type of freaky X-Ray vision do you?"

"X-Ray vision?" Maro sounded puzzled, saying the phrase slowly with peaked curiosity.

"Nevermind. . .I'll write that off as a definite no."

"I fear that I haven't the slightest idea of what you're talking about. I will drop you the smallest of hints though. You should keep to the west of the moon. Everything in this surrounding area is dead. Literally."

"Everything? So you know what happened to all of these villages?" My voice sounded hopeful, even to my own ears.

"I'm sorry Kagome, I'm afraid that I cannot reveal that to you. I'm just here for support, as I've stated previously. And as the voice before declared. You are virtually on your own now. And just so that you're aware: your lips seem to be turning blue." Maro-chan was too calm for pointing out something so serious. My hand automatically went to my mouth. I groaned behind my palm. "Your hands are shaking, too."

"Obviously." I mumbled. "Anything else evident you can rub in my face?" I took a sharp detour to the left in the snow. I just hoped that if I kept wandering in the direction Maro-chan told me to go in, I would find shelter. Hypothermia was starting to kick in. I gave myself ten minutes tops, with these teeth clattering winds, and freezing moisture, maybe five. Musing I briefly thought about sprinting, but as my legs started to wobble beneath me, I decided against it. Perhaps three.

"You have to keep going!" I heard Maro screaming at me, but it seemed distant. My vision started to narrow. I felt my breath hitch in my throat as I struggled to reply. Nevermind, now was the appropriate time to collapse, I wasn't going to make it to three minutes.

"I'm goooo-ing.. . ." My voice sounded strange, far too drawn out and slurred to be mine. I felt myself sinking, as if I were falling into the snow. I couldn't tell. Snow surrounded me, like being lost in a tunnel with no light at the end.

"Mew."

I snapped my head up towards the familiar noise. But saw nothing. "Please stand! Do not fall asleep, for you might not wake again!" I tried my hardest to pinpoint the voice, but I couldn't. My head swam with distinct possibilities, but they were out of my reach. All I could manage to comprehend was that I was indeed no longer moving. I was sitting, and I had lost control of my limbs.

"Meowww."

My head lulled to the side, as I fought to maintain consciousness. I felt myself slumping over in that position. The snow was starting to bury me. I didn't feel cold however. The warmth wrapped itself around me, to the point that I felt as if I were on fire.

"Mew." I could have sworn I saw a silhouette of an animal with the most unusual glowing eyes. But I had lost the battle of will. I felt my eyes drifting closed, images dancing behind my lids. And a very coarse tongue licking at my freezing cheeks. It was warm, comforting, familiar. I tried to reach out to it, but my body had become numb. Frozen. I felt my heart lag, as I drifted off into the depths of my subconscious.


Note: A million apologies everyone! I know what I said prior to this chapter. But I have many kinks to work out. After re-reading everything and making sure it was in place, it took forever to get this out. I have to make sure everything is in order to properly unravel the story. I'm also trying to set a certain pace. Thanks for reading, and I'm tremendously sorry if this inconvenienced anyone.

Special thanks to everyone who reviewed, especially knifethrower. And the people that have been guessing the outcome all along. I truly appreciate this!

A little bit of familiarity is in store for us in the next chapter. Finally, right? I dragged it along far enough, maybe a bit too much. Expect Kagome to not be so 'alone' next chapter. As for Maro-chan. This obviously isn't her real name, and she's obviously someone that 'knows' of Kagome. She'll be in and out of Kagome's head. She won't make frequent visits, however. As the chapter stated, she is more or less a guide. She might or might not know what's happening to her friends, but she still can't reveal anything. It will be explained in later chapters. And so will the existence of Maro-chan. I hope to god this doesn't confuse anyone, because I swear after writing so many in advance, I got caught in a trap and have to rewrite a lot of things. Note that I'll never make anymore hasty promises about this story. It's far more complex than I had originally calculated. If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask. Any spelling errors will be edited later on to the best of my abilities. Until next time!