Disclaimer: I do not own Animaniacs. Yakko, Wakko and Dot and all of the other characters belong to their own respective owners. I only created Tiger and Caress and other original characters. I claim no rights to any of this. This was made purely for entertainment. No profit is made off of this.

Animaniacs Return

Chapter Seven: The First Shoot!

The day of the big shooting…

Colin looked at his script. From Randy Beaman Kid to a dad? And why was he supposed to be the first on the show? "This still isn't right." Colin he looked over at the director. They are really stretching. From the beginning of the show, they wanted everyone to know how much the show would be different.

"Aaaannd….ACTION!"

Thomas started to suck on a lollipop while he was hanging from the tree. He had indeed taken Mindy's place. Buttons slept on cue for the camera while Colin started to stroll up to Thomas…

…with a beer. "Hey there!" The cameraman only filmed up to the waist so the beer would show but not the face of Colin. "How's my big boy, huh?" Thomas smiled at Colin and continued to suck on his lolly.

"Alright then, good!" Colin laughed. "Daddy's gonna go see if he can find you a new mommy tonight again. Speaking of 'mommies', I still need to send her child support for Min." He took out a check and started to write on it. He went inside briefly while the camera focused on Thomas.

When Colin came back out he strolled back over to Thomas. "Alright Thomas, daddy's gonna leave you with Buttons for awhile. Okay? After all, it's not like I can afford you and child support AND a (censored) babysitter." Colin strolled over to Buttons. "Now Buttons. You take good care of Thomas while I'm out. And don't let anything happen to that support check I just wrote or I'll come home and kick your ass!"

Buttons started to wake up and nodded. He watched as Colin started to leave the yard.

"Damn child support. I'm not even the (censored) father, I shouldn't have to pay." He grumbled as he walked away. Off camera finally, Colin stopped and sighed. Yeah, they wanted to rival South Park alright.

On the first episode, Thomas' lollipop would accidentally get swung over to a moving car. Bringing a reminiscence to the old show where Mindy's lolly got stuck to the post man's car. After that, the similarities would end. The car would finally stop at an all-night bar. Thomas would crawl in below the bouncer unnoticed. Buttons would finally catch up and try to get in the bar. The dog would have trouble though and would get bounced out. He'd try again and again. After succeeding, Buttons would realize Thomas left the bar and somehow ended up in the back of a dangerous motorcycle, trying to pry his lolly off a biker's jacket. Button's would steal someone's motorcycle and try to catch up but the biker was riding with his gang. So, Buttons would get pummeled again by the angry bikers. Finally breaking free, Buttons would see Thomas crawling into a trucker's car, where his lolly had just been flung. Buttons steals another truck and eventually gets even with the truck. Side by side, Button jumps in and steals the wheel.

They crash into a tree on the other side of their house. The truck driver curses the dog, kicks him out and starts to leave. Thomas having already gotten out of the truck strolls into the front yard, safely with his lolly. Meanwhile Button walks over to his dog house and collapses.

Yep, that's how it would play out and Colin watched it being pulled off without a hitch. Seeing it was time for his entrance, Colin sighed and started to get up. He went back on camera with a beer in his hand again and strolled up, acting quite drunk, to the yard. "Wheeeeewie, that was a great night! Who knew I could have a Margarita in one hand and a girl with the same name in another!" He smiled over at Thomas. "How was my boy's night tonight, huh?" Thomas smiled back at him.

Colin strolled over to the house. As he went inside, he became angry. It seemed the jolt into the tree with the trucker knocked the support check on the floor where a mouse was currently nibbling on it. "BUTTONS!" Colin comes out angrily and starts pointing at the dog. "I told you not to let anything happen to that fucking check and now some rodent is eating it! Bad dog! Bad, BAD (CENSORED) DOG!"

Buttons covered up his ears and started to whine.

"Aaaannnd…CUT!" The director smiled. "Beautiful!"

All the Animaniacs cast stand around and absorb the whole scene they just saw.

"Whoah…" Yakko said out of nowhere. "Definitely not by the same rules."

"Or director, or creators," Dot complained. "Is this really what people want now?"

"Uncensored is one thing." Wakko admitted. "But this?"

"Well." Yakko sighed. "If it brings in the ratings, I guess that's all that matters." He smiled at Wakko and Dot. "Don't worry. We'll find our own groove in the show. Now come on, we're gonna be on next."

The director came back and started up again. This time everyone went to the water tower.

The Warners dove inside while the camera man started to panhandle up.

"Aaannnddd...ACTION!"

In a few seconds, the Warners came out grinning and singing

"It's time for Animaniacs!

And we're zany to the Max!

So just sit back and relax,

You'll laugh 'til you collapse!

We're Animaniacs!"

They jumped out of the tower and we're joined with the whole cast on the ground.

"We once we're a big T.V. show

until we all were fired.

The networks thought we were too adult

But now we've been rehired.

Many years have passed you see

And everything has changed!

From our language to our ages, there is nothing just the same!

We are Animaniacs!

We have no morals on now how to act!

We're still zany to the max

There's still baloney in our slacks!

We're still Animaney,

totally insaney

Dot: Youtube us any day-ey!

We're Animaniacs! Those are the facts!"

"Aaaaand…CUT!" The director grinned. "That was great." He started to gesture toward the Warners. "Alright you three, line up."

The Warners quickly lined up in the middle of the street.

Just don't mess up. Dot said to herself quietly. It had been a little while since any of them were on camera. And this was majorly important! If they failed, they would no doubt be separated again.

"Aaand…ACTION!"

The Warners all started to stroll down the street. Yakko had his hands in his pockets. "Well sibs, what do you guys want to do?"

"I know." Dot grinned at him. "Let's head over to that new fancy restaurant and make fun of people."

"Nah, I want to go the new candy store." Wakko argued.

Yakko shrugged his shoulders and looked at a car next to him. "This one fine?"

"Sure." Wakko and Dot replied casually.

Yakko started to bust into the car when the alarm started to go off. "Eh, it's one of the noisy editions." He said annoyed.

"I can fix it!" Wakko volunteered as he brought out his mallet.

"No, no. This'll be fine." Yakko disagreed. "Besides, I still remember the other time you tried to help."

"Yeah." Dot agreed as she hopped in on the other side. "You can't drive a vehicle after it's smashed to pieces!"

"Just asking." Wakko frowned as he climbed into the middle.

The Warners started to speed off, the car alarm still going.

"Oh look, it's got On-Star!" Yakko laughed as he pushed the button. "Helloooooo On-Star!"

"I'd like a pizza with extra toppings!" Wakko yelled at the button.

Dot gawked at her brother. "Wakko! It doesn't offer that kind of service!"

(This Vehicle has been reported stolen!)

"Wow, they're fast, aren't they?" Dot smiled.

"Huh…wonder what gave it away?" Yakko asked as he tried to talk over the alarm.

"That sounds annoying!" Dot complained. "Let's listen to the radio or something!"

Wakko started to go through his wacky sack. He pulled out a random cat, a kitchen sink, a stack of old AOL CD's, until he finally found his goal. "How about my MP3's?"

"Anything's better than this caterwauling." Yakko agreed as he picked up the cat. "Except maybe your caterwauling."

"Hey, watch out for the drunk guy!" Dot pointed out in front of them as Yakko stepped on the brakes.

Thomas' Father started to stroll past the car.

"It wasn't even his chance to walk yet." Dot complained as she crossed her arms.

"Yeah. That's the problem with cartoons these days. No respect." Yakko agreed as he flipped someone off behind him who had tried to cut him off.

"WHEEEEEEEOOOOOOO!"

The Warners looked back and saw bright red lights flashing behind them.

"Not them again." Dot groaned. "Don't they ever get tired of chasing us?"

"PULL OVER! WE KNOW YOU STOLE THAT VEHICLE!"

Yakko just laughed. "Yeah, but we were gonna bring it back."

"Yeah. Technically, it's just borrowing." Wakko agreed. He looked over to the side of him. "Oh, look, there's the candy store!"

"That looks funner than this is." Yakko agreed. He saw an approaching branch up ahead. "On three sibs! One, two-"

On three all the Warners jumped in a low branch above the speeding car. The car kept heading down the hilly road, with the cop cars still after it.

"Yeah, our destination." Wakko yelled happily as he went over to the candy store.

Then the Warners all whined.

"Closed?" Dot complained. "But we drove all the way across town!"

"Don't worry." Yakko assured her. "We'll go to the old one."

"But it's all the way across town." Wakko complained.

Yakko started looking at cars again. He pointed to a green one next to him. "This one looks good."

Dot came over and looked at it. "Yeah, but it hardly has gas. That crap is so expensive, why bother taking the car?"

Wakko smiled. "I have gas! How much do we need?"

Yakko looked uncomfortable a second, took his hand and then kissed it shouting "Goodnight Everybody!"

"Aaaaand…CUT!" The producer smiled. "Alright, that's it for tonight. We'll pick up the rest in the morning."

Yakko, Wakko, and Dot looked at each other. That was definitely different from their old show alright.

"Ummm…can somebody tell me just how that's gonna be changed for kids?" Yakko had to ask. Dot and Wakko shrugged their shoulders. "….well, we got through it at least." Yakko smiled at his brother and sister. "Cheer up!"

"I know." Dot frowned. "It's just…"

Wakko looked around them. "…a reminder of why we were split up." He finished for his sister.

Yakko didn't know how to reply to that. "It's just a show." He reminded them. "And it's saving us right now." He said confidently. "Quit worrying, we're gonna be alright. We'll have that so-called court decision beat real soon."

"You're right." Dot agreed. "If we can get the show to take off, we'll be fine."

"Of course." Yakko smiled. "Now come on, that old candy store should be here somewhere. We've got twenty minutes and if we just run for it, we can still make it!"

"Yeah!" Dot and Wakko agreed as the Warners all took off.

Although, there were a couple cast members that stuck around to see the Warners part, no one was more interested than Zenny.

Having gone to the candy store earlier he yanked a sucker out of his jacket and started to suck on it. "…why they were split up?" He repeated Wakko's phrase. "Hmmm…"

The next day near Minerva's Place…

'Pleasure' stood very still next to Minerva. She was still a bit nervous, it was her very first acting part. Newt was reading the morning paper while Minerva was yawning. They wanted to shoot their first scene early.

"Alright, you know what to do." The director smiled at Minerva and Pleasure. "Places, everyone."

Newt walked off. He'd be in a different part until his entrance came.

"Aaaand…ACTION!"

"It's not easy being me." Minerva sang as she came through her front door. "Try it and you'll see. It's harder than you think, being a gorgeous mink." Minerva brushed her hair and gestured inside the house. "Come on Pleasure, let's go hit the mall."

Pleasure exited the house with a wide grin. "Coming Miny!" A Mime showed up in front of her and started to salivate. Pleasure groaned. "I said Miny, not Mimey!" She complained. "Grr-oss!"

"Ew, you have mime on you?" Minerva looked into her purse. "Sorry Pleas, all out of Mime-B-Gone."

Pleasure sighed and rolled her eyes. She batted her eyes at the mime. "Like to play mime games, huh?" She started to roll up and down the mime sexually…well, almost. She was only a few inches away.

The mime started to go nuts, then an anvil fell on top of him.

Pleasure walked off, ignoring the mime as she walked alongside Minerva. During the walk, they flipped their hair and took off their jackets eventually sitting on twin boulders. They made some of the male forest creatures go nuts while the females went and smacked their counterparts.

Then, on cue Newt showed up. Newt acted surprised. "Aha! Well, if it isn't the old mink I could never catch!"

Pleasure and Minerva turned to look at Newt.

"Oh…it's you." Minerva frowned. She gestured toward Pleasure. "This is the dog hunting me for my fur. Remember, I told you about him back in college?"

Pleasure nodded. "Oh yeah. He's the one you said had a better chance of getting lucky with a frog before he could ever catch you." She smiled.

"You wish!" Newt said angrily as he got out his net. "I will not fail my master this time!" Then, he took a second look at Pleasure. "And what species are you supposed to be?"

Pleasure got up slowly from her rock and strolled over to Newt. "What species am I?"

Newt watched as Pleasure turned around. Her dress was swirling up just enough…not enough, but just enough to catch anyone's attention. "Duuuhhh…"

Pleasure grabbed Newt by the chin. "My class is seximus pleasurismus." Then, she let go of his chin roughly rubbing up and down on her arms while she kicked one heel up and wiggled her tail. "You only wish you could touch this fur."

Newt went nuts and ended up as a puddle on the floor. Pleasure walked back around and gave Minerva a high five.

"Guys are sooo gullible." Pleasure remarked as she took her spot back on the rock.

Minerva grabbed a large turning spatula and started to scrape up Newt. "Careful Pleasure, keep him on one side too long in the sun and he'll burn."

Feeling himself being flipped over, Newt soon snapped out of it. He came back to his original self and angrily pointed at Minerva. "I demand to know who that is!"

Minerva just batted her eyes at Newt. "That? Oh, that's my best friend from College. She just moved in with me in my old place."

Pleasure just wiggled her fingers at him in a 'hello'.

Newt studied the fur on Pleasure. "You are a new species? Your fur would make a nice addition to my master's collection as-"

"HELLLLOOOOOOO NURSE!"

Pleasure suddenly fell out of character as she saw Yakko and Wakko closing in on her!

Yakko reached her first. "Holy (censored)! You're just like us?" His tongue started to pant.

Wakko and Yakko both started to howl.

Oh no, somebody get me out of here! Pleasure thought desperately.

Just then, Dot came over and smashed both her brothers with a mallet. She quickly grabbed a wheelbarrow as they both fell in. She smiled at Minerva and Pleasure. "…Boys." She said playfully as she wheeled them away.

Minerva saw the expression on poor Pleasure's face. Clearly she wasn't used to that yet. She just held her hand and gave her a polite smile. "Pleasure, don't worry. Contrary to what you think…they really don't do much more than any other guy around here." She crossed her arms. "Your completely safe here, just watch yourself outside of the studio."

"CUT!" The director couldn't take it anymore. "Minerva Mink!"

"What? She was scared!" Minerva complained.

"Take it from…the wheelbarrow." The director said, deciding the Warners part was actually a good edition. "Aaaand….ACTION!"

Pleasure tried to concentrate on her parts. Now that she'd seen firsthand what the Warner Brothers would act like if they knew she was really Aroma, she was more scared than ever! Crazy! Insane! Who knows what they would do?

The things she did for the studio.

That night in the tower….

Dot munched on some popcorn while she sat with her brothers on the couch. "Are you guys going to watch the shooting for Slappy tomorrow?"

"Why?" Yakko asked. "Is her part different too?"

"Didn't you hear?" Wakko said in surprise. "Snappy's going to be in the show."

"Who?" Yakko frowned.

"It turns out that bratty squirrel I met?" Dot informed her brother. "Was actually Skippy's father."

"Skip's got a dad?" Yakko sounded surprised.

"Seems so." Dot frowned. "And I heard that Slappy Squirrel is really pissed off at him."

"She is!" Wakko agreed. "When we were coming back from the candy store I heard her refer to him as 'a (censored) parasite, trying to feed off Skippy's success'!"

"Wow." Yakko sighed as he ate more popcorn. "How'd he even get a contract?"

"I don't know." Dot frowned. "But I bet somehow someone found him and thought he'd bring in higher ratings."

"Well, higher cases of dynamite." Yakko gave in. "Who else is up tomorrow?"

"Rita and Runt!" Dot exclaimed as she pointed to her pets nestled on the ground next to them. They had been asleep for a little while. "Their big day will be tomorrow."

"And umm…the goodfeathers?" Wakko answered. "I don't know if they are in yet." He grinned. "But I hear Pleasure and Minerva will be working again!"

"Again?" Yakko didn't seem upset at their second shooting in a row. "Where did this Pleasure even come from?" Yakko started to trace curves in the air and whistled.

"Yeah! Do you think she lives with Minerva?" Wakko asked excitedly. "I wonder how much like us she is?"

"Aw Wakk, even if she's just a teeny bit zany, that's good enough for me!" Yakko laughed.

Dot sighed. "She's just like Aroma you two."

"Yeah except…" Wakko traced curves in the air and whistled like Yakko had before him.

"…boys." Dot grumbled. She watched as Zenny started to come into the tower. "…jerks." She added.

Zenny ignored the comment. Instead, he smiled at the Warners. "Hey, how are you doing?"

"Alright." Wakko simply said for them.

"Oh. You know, I couldn't help overhearing yesterday." Zenny came over by the couch and leaned on the back of it. He had been debating since yesterday whether he should ask or not, but he was getting pretty curious. "That your first shooting reminded you of what happened."

The Warners became uncharacteristically quiet.

"I know what you did to make the judge mad, but what did you guys do to end up there in the first place?" Zenny asked.

"It's none of your business, Zen." Dot growled dangerously.

Zenny didn't heed Dot's warning much. She always talked bad about him.

"Curiosity killed the cat." Yakko finally replied. "And you're kind of like a cat, so maybe you should watch your own self." Then, he glared at Zenny.

Zenny quickly stopped leaning back on the couch. "Sorry." He replied as he started to walk away. Did Yakko just threaten him?

"That might have been a bit rough." Wakko said looking over at Yakko.

"It doesn't matter. Nothing matters." Yakko frowned. "But this show's success." He started to smile. "We're together now and we're always gonna be together! Besides, it's no one else's business."

Dot and Wakko both nodded their heads. Yakko was right.

Yakko started to stretch. "Now, I think it's high time I go to bed. 1:00 P.M. is pretty good for me."

"Me too." Dot agreed as she started to get up.

"Me three!" Wakko laughed as he bounced up with Yakko.

Yakko started to stretch again. "Yep! A nice shower and I'll be ready!"

"Already took one." Dot stuck her tongue out as she dashed to her room.

Wakko gestured toward the bathroom door. "Arni's been in there awhile, you can see if he's done yet."

Yakko nodded and proceeded to head for the bathroom door…