Hello again all. I appreciate all the reviews more than you know. I'm always happy for feedback about my writing too, so thank you all!


Once, when Richard Castle was a little boy, he was out riding his bike. While cruising down the street he noticed that one of the houses, where his friend lived, was having a pool installed. He watched with excitement at the thought of having a place to swim on hot summer days. Richard was so caught up in the excitement that he didn't see the giant pothole in the road.

When he hit it he was going full speed, not having had time to avert the uneven pavement. He was able to steer the front wheel, but the back caught and caused the entire bike to flip. Young Richard flew into the air and landed on his back. The force of the fall knocked the air out of his lungs and for a few terrifying seconds, the boy was afraid that his breath was never going to return. He lay on the ground that summer afternoon feeling that he would suffocate, unable to just catch his breath.

The adult Richard Castle felt very much like that in the moment when Kate revealed he had a son. The color drained from his face and tears burned in his eyes. He'd been warned by Ryan and Esposito that she'd been pregnant, but hearing her confirm it, watching the infant in her arms, tilted his universe on its axis. He simply stared at her. She'd had his baby. She'd gotten pregnant, carried him to term, delivered him and was living here raising her son, their son. Slowly he looked up to her and whispered, "how could you Kate?" She looked to his face, noting the pain and betrayal his expression wore.

"How could you keep this from me? Keep him from me?" He finally looked to the sleeping infant in her arms, reaching out to caress the soft hair on his warm head. The first touch of his son's fine hair and soft skin nearly broke him. Again he looked up to her, voice breaking as he struggled to keep his emotions in check.

"Why would you do this?" He simply looked to her, silently begging for her to say something that would make it all better.

The look in his eyes shattered her heart. She couldn't help feeling guilty, she'd done everything she could to contact him, but I should have tried harder, she berated herself. It killed her to see him in so much pain. Still, he was the one who left, who left the country without a word. He'd turned off his phone and made himself unavailable. This wasn't all on her. As she thought, her own feelings of hurt and anger, feelings of abandonment rose to the surface. Yes, rationally she knew that he didn't know any better, but in her heart she felt abandoned by him.

"I think we need to talk Castle." She whispered in a somewhat dejected tone, as she walked Ben back to his crib and lowered his sleeping body onto the firm mattress. Castle watched her as she leaned in, brushing her long hair behind her ear as she ghosted a kiss across their baby's cheek.

The vision was bittersweet, watching Kate tenderly kiss their child gave rise to a strong feeling of love, pride and a fierce protectiveness; it filled him with hope. However, thinking about all he'd missed out on, all that he would have missed if he hadn't dropped by made him feel despondent. Would she ever have told me that we had a child? He thought to himself.

He moved to her couch and settled there, sitting silently with his head cradled in his hands and staring at the floor. Kate studied him silently for a moment, contemplating his brooding stance. She moved over and sat on the edge of her wooden coffee table, positioning herself directly across from him.

"Castle, Rick…I didn't find out that I was pregnant until after you left. I didn't even know until July." She waited for him to look up at her, to acknowledge the horrible timing of their circumstances, but his gaze simply remained fixed to the floor.

"I tried to call you but the phone was disconnected." He gave a "humph" at her words, finally responding.

"So I don't answer my phone and you gave up? That is my child in there Kate." He raised his head fully to meet her gaze. "I had a right to know Kate." In all their years of working together, through the worst fights they'd ever had, she'd never seen him looking at her quite the way he was in that moment. He met her eyes with a mixture of confusion, betrayal and disbelief. It was a look that devastated her. Her eyes widened and tears formed, Damnit, she thought to herself, I'm not going to cry.

"I didn't give up then Rick. I tried. I tried again and again, but you were gone. You'd vanished Castle. You didn't even try to pick up the pieces, you were just gone" She raised her voice slightly, unable to keep her lip from trembling and the tears from her eyes. "You try to lay the blame on me Castle, but you left. You chose to leave the country."

"But I didn't know!" He interjected.

"And by the time I did you were gone!" She defended.

"I left because I thought it was the right thing to do." He admitted. "Lanie said that if I loved you I would leave you alone and give you a shot at happiness with someone else."

Kate's eyes shot up to him. "You talked to Lanie?" He nodded. She knew that Lanie and the boys were extremely protective, that they despised Castle for what he'd done and what he said. However, Kate couldn't help but feel a rush of anger at the knowledge that Lanie had sent him away. Well, she didn't send him away, I did; but she didn't tell me that they'd talked, that he'd cared enough to call. She wasn't sure that it would have made a difference at the time, considering how angry she was at him. Still, she and Lanie were going to have a talk about it, and soon.

"I know she was just trying to protect you Kate, but I thought I was doing what was right."

Both took a moment to breathe and calm themselves down. There would be no yelling match with their son asleep in the next room. Once she had better control over her voice, Beckett spoke again.

"When I found out that I was having a boy I tried again Rick." She reached forward and put her hand on his knee, pleading him to listen to her.

"I tried to reach you through Paula. I called before, but she told me that you wanted nothing to do with me." She shifted her eyes to the floor, not wanting him to see the raw pain that she still carried from their last encounter.

"Kate, I never-" He tried to tell her that he never said that, and he never could say that, but she interrupted him and continued.

"I tried Rick, I told her that I was pregnant and that he was yours. I told her that I needed to talk to you, to see you. She told me that she would give you the message, but I never heard from her. I never heard from you." A rage filled him at her words, his fists clenched and his pulse rose. Paula was going to answer for this.

He finally softened his expression to her, placing his hand on the one she'd laid on his knee. "I'm sorry Kate. I'm sorry I wasn't here." She nodded, before adding her own attempt to mend fences, "you didn't know Castle." He nodded.

They sat there, hands linked on his knee, looking into eachother's eyes. She searched his gaze for some hint that what he'd felt before still existed, but before they could process it Ben's cry sounded. She sighed to herself, stressed by his wakefulness, and moved to stand.

His hand reached to grasp her wrist, making her pause and turn back to him. He swallowed and stood.

"Can I?" He motioned his head towards the crying baby's room. "Would it be all right if I got him?" Her facial expression softened and she nodded at his request.

He walked back to the room and proceeded to Ben's crib. Leaning over, he soothed the infant "shhhhh…daddy's here. Daddy's got you." He lifted the boy and laid his small body against his chest, inhaling the scent of his son. He wrapped his arms around the boy to secure him to his chest and caressed him lightly in attempt to sooth him.

Beckett watched the scene before her unfold and wasn't able to keep her tears back. He was finally here, holding Ben in his arms. She'd envisioned this moment for so long, but the reality of it far surpassed her hopes.

As she watched the men she loved most in the world, she said a silent prayer. She prayed that it wasn't too late for them; that some part of him still cared for her. Please, she thought to herself, please let there still be a chance for us.


I'm having more fun telling this now that they're back on the same continent, but they've definitely still got a few things to work out. The journey should be very interesting though. :)

Leave a review and I'll make a wish and blow it out...Today's my Birthday! :)