author's note: Sorry for the wait. Crack takes a special mood to write. Another ship might have ninja'd its way into this story btw.
To darthcat: Tooth does not have a lover. Pitch just thinks she does. He's being a little thick-headed in the sense of 'Well, she can't possibly like me so it must be option C.'
- 20 -
Sandy did not really hope to find Pitch in his lair but, he and Tooth weren't at Punjam Hy Loo and it could not hurt to check. As he entered the entrance Sandy was surprised to hear raised if indistinguishable voices. Perhaps Tooth and Pitch were here after all.
Strange, Sandy would have thought they'd go to the tooth palace so the fairies could help fight off other suitors or help ravage Pitch. It was sort of hard to tell how separate Tooth was from her fairies. But if Tooth could that do with Pitch then she could enjoy him from multiple perspectives and that sounded pretty impressive. Maybe he could figure out something like that with dreamsand once he had Pitch to himself again?
With a silent sigh emphasized by a breath of dreamsand, Sandy focused once more on locating Pitch and rescuing him from Tooth. He could figure out how to ravish the Nightmare King afterwards.
Now that he could hear the voices better though he almost slumped his shoulders in defeat. It was just Bunny and Jack, probably having the same idea as him.
" - can't bloody believe you! Of all the dumb ideas, you certainly outdid yourself Frostbite!" Bunny snarled, throwing up his arms in aggravation.
Jack bowed his head and clutched his staff a little tighter before looking back up at the pooka. "Uh... just so we're clear, are you mad about me lying about Sophie missing or the threesome idea?"
Th-threesome? Sandy's jaw-dropping merely echoed his fall to the floor. What on Earth were the two arguing about? A threesome with who? Pitch? Who would want to share Pitch and not have that glorious body all to themselves? Although... no, no. Wouldn't work. As pretty as Tooth's feathers look they weren't that comfortable and Sandy desired only the best for his dreamcloud bed; like Pitch. And maybe North.
Pitch was simply just so sinuously appealing, like a snake or a blanket you just wanted to be wrapped up in. With North, well there was simply so much to him and all of it was soft and warm. Really Sandy thought North would be almost as good as Pitch if North wasn't such a sprawler. No one liked a bed hog.
"Either! Both! Take your pick! I don't even know why you thought a threesome was a good idea," Bunny shouted as he started to pace in front of Jack.
"Well, like I said, Pitch flirted with me in Antarctica and with you when were all in Burgess so I thought that maybe-" Jack hurriedly explained, the words rushing out of his mouth.
"I don't share," Bunny said sharply, cutting off Jack's hasty explanation. "Certainly not with Pitch."
Frowning, Sandy thought over Bunny's words. There was something strange about them...
Of course that was when North arrived, through a snowglobe portal, boisterously shouting for Pitch.
Scowling, Sandy remembered the other reason Pitch was better than North. The former bandit was simply too loud.
-21-
"The Warren? Bunny's Warren is your best idea of a hiding spot?" Tooth demanded as she looked around, skeptical.
"It's underground which makes us less visible and it's not like the pooka has living helpers like... everyone... else," Pitch explained though his voice trailed off as he and Tooth slowly became surrounded by angry-faced Egg sentinels.
"Oh." Pitch muttered with some despair. He could have thought this through a bit better.
"Yes," Tooth said with a weary exasperation, "You really should have."
Looking away from the Sentinels, probably not the best thing to do, Pitch glared at Tooth. "Need I remind you that I do not need your assistance if it troubles you so? Just go hide-away wherever your lover is until this farce is over."
Tooth's feathers flared out before smoothing tightly along her body. Ooooh, he made her furious. Pitch always liked it when-
"Lover! Hah! You idiot, I don'- ah! Hey!" Tooth cried out as the Egg Sentinels attacked her.
Pitch watched on in bemused amusement as the large stone eggs worked to shove Tooth away from him. "See? Even animated rocks see you are no longer needed," Pitch said smugly before noticing not all the Egg Sentinels were chasing Tooth away.
In fact the ones surrounding him him had their smiley-faces displayed.
Pitch stared, growing incredulous, "No." Animated rocks!? The spell was even effecting animated egg-shaped rocks?
How was that-
What even-
Un-Fucking-Believable.
"This is bullshit," Pitch declared before one of the happily smiling Egg Sentinels shoved him roughly to the ground.
Or at least, Pitch thought he was being shoved to the ground. Apparently the Sentinel's intention was to get him crowd-surfed by googies. Every time Pitch managed to stand up, which was harder to do than it seemed, a Sentinel would body-bash him back onto the surprisingly sturdy eggs. Following rather futilely was Tooth, in part because the Sentinels kept halting her progress and in part because she couldn't fly far without losing control from laughing.
The whole ridiculous parade finally ended in the field where Pitch imagined the googies were hatched and hard-boiled.
Giggling, Tooth flew to sit down beside Pitch and the horde of cuddling eggs. "The mighty Pitch Black, brought low by little eggs with twiggy feet," she teased.
"Oh, go ahead and laugh; you certainly did not mind earlier," Pitch grumbled but even he was rather amused by it all. He did not even realize he was smiling at Tooth until she started to stare him.
Scowling and quickly turning his head away, Pitch called himself all kinds of fool. He was giving too much away.
-22-
"Ah! Friends! It is good to see you but, where is Pitch?" North inquired once he settled down.
"Dunno, Pitch made off with Tooth while Bunnymund had a hissy fit," Jack explained, twirling his staff until it rests across his shoulders.
North frowned briefly before shrugging it off and smiling once more. "Minor setback. Good I have found you all anyways. I have solution for determining who gets Pitch," He excitedly explained.
Bunny smirked and crossed his arms as Sandy floated in closer, curious. "Oh, this oughta be good," Aster said amused.
"We... will have... contest! Like race for teeth but fighting instead!" North explained. "Yetis and elves already hard at work turning workshop into coliseum."
...
"What?"
"Do not be so negative Jack! Is good idea! We are all fighting over Pitch, best to settle it officially," North explained, slumping a little at unwell his news was received.
"hmmm, hate to say it but North's got a point there," Bunny grudgingly admitted.
Sandy looked thoughtful before nodding his agreement.
"Well... I guess it would stop everyone from trying to steal Pitch away. Or at least slow it down," jack said hesitantly as all focused on him.
Laughing joyfully, North quickly pulled the other three into a group hug. "It is settled then. Back to Pole to locate Pitch and Tooth, then battle for love!"
While Jack and Bunny floundered a little at North's sudden hug, Sandy snuggled into the tallest Guardian.
It really was a shame North had no volume control.
author's other note: yeah, the warren scene? First scene I thought up for this story. I'm positively giddy about finally reaching it. Oh and bemused means amused for those that don't know.
