I've been dead for a week. Full time working nights and evenings doings vacation bible school and one morning had safety captain meetings for work. All that equals not a lot of sleep. Or time to play Pokemon GO. I was outta balls for DAAAAAYS!

Give Me Reason
Chapter 7: Inhale

"Rick?"

He stepped inside and pushed the door shut. "Yeah." He called out as he turned around. He frowned for a moment. Jessi must be out back. Rick'd gotten used to her jumping him the moment he stepped inside. He took his jacket off and dropped it on the floor as he kicked off his shoes. He was tired. Didn't care. He pulled his hat off and dropped it on the pile. "Sorry I didn't call. Couldn't find my phone and I spaced."

Daryl walked out of the kitchen, wiping his hands off on a dishtowel. "You left it here."

"Oh good." Rick said with a sigh of relief.

"Rick..." Daryl started.

Rick kept talking. "Though I'd lost it."

"Rick... Ca..."

Rick shook his head. "Today was fucking awful! Got this domestic disturbance call an..."

"Rick!" Daryl snapped his name loudly. "Shut up for a second."

Rick turned to look at him and smiled. "God you look good."

Before Daryl could stop him, Rick shot forward and captured the stunned man's lips. Rick pulled against him. Daryl pushed him away quickly. "Rick!"

"Dad?"

Rick's eyes widened. He turned to see his son standing in the kitchen doorway. "What are you doing here?"

"I uh... I left my history report here." The kid said slowly. "I needed it for tomorrow."

Daryl crossed his arms and shook his head. "He showed up and I tried ta call ya."

"I left my phone here." Rick said dumbly, his eyes pointedly on the floor.

Daryl rolled his eyes. "Obviously."

Rick took a deep breath. He tore his eyes away from the floor and looked to Daryl. "Okay. Remember when I said I wasn't ready for you to meet my son? I changed my mind. Daryl, this is my son, Carl. Carl..." He turned back to the kid. "Carl, this is Daryl. We... uh... we're... dating?" He glanced at Daryl. "Can I say dating?"

Daryl rolled his eyes again. "Yeah."

Rick nodded. "See... I'm really... actually... gaaaaay..." He said, stringing the word out awkwardly.

Daryl threw up his arms and turned away.

Carl glanced at Daryl and nodded. "I can see that." He said softly.

Rick opened his mouth for a moment. Then shut it and shook his head. "That came out weird."

"You're fucking weird." Daryl mumbled.

Carl overheard and smiled. "That's why you've been so happy recently..." His eye widened slightly. "That's why you got divorced! That's what Shane..." He clapped his hand over his mouth.

"Shane what?" Rick asked with a sigh.

Carl shook his head. "Nothing." He said softly.

Daryl turned back around. "I'll shove a fucken arrow up his ass."

Rick rolled his eyes and tried hard not to smile. "You don't know what he looks like."

Daryl shrugged. "Ain't matter. I'll track the sumbitch down."

Rick laughed loudly and shook his head. He didn't doubt that Daryl could. Or that he would. And could take Shane.

Daryl stepped closer to him. "Fucking serious. You think I ain't?"

Rick helped up his hands and shook his head quickly. "No. No, no, no." He smiled. "I know you can."

Daryl nodded. "Damn right."

Rick turned to Carl. The kid was smiling and clearly trying not to laugh. And he seemed... fine? Okay, even. His dad just outted himself and the kid was smiling. Rick could feel his heart lighten. He'd been honestly terrified of Carl finding out. What the kid would think and fear that he'd hate him. "So... you wanna stay for dinner?"

Carl's face brightened and he nodded. "I'll call mom." He said, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

Rick's eyes widened. "Don't tell your mother!"

"Duh, dad." He stuck his tongue out at Rick and headed into the kitchen.

Rick waited until Carl was out of sight. Then let out a deep breath and turned to grab Daryl's hand. He pulled the other man closer and leaned his head against him. "That went well, I think." He felt suddenly lightheaded.

Daryl grunted in response and wrapped his arms around Rick's waist.

Rick closed his eyes for a moment, relishing in Daryl's strong grip. It felt grounding. He needed that. And then a thought occurred to him. He opened his eyes and smiled. "You admitted we're dating." He said softly.

Daryl leaned away from him as far as the embrace would allow. He glanced away for a moment shrugged. "Well we are, ain't we?"

Rick nodded dumbly.

"Shut up."

Now Rick felt lightheaded and giddy for another reason. But he felt Daryl tense up and felt the man's grip slacken. He breathed out and changed topics. "Judy asleep still?"

Daryl nodded.

"Jessi out back?"

Daryl nodded again, still not looking at him.

"Let her in. Carl saw the food bowl out there yesterday. Told him I was feeding a stray."

Daryl's mouth twitched a bit. "Two strays." He said, finally dropping his arms and separating himself from Rick. "I'll leave her here and you can let him play with her."

Rick frowned and grabbed his arm when he made to move away. "You're leaving?"

Daryl frowned. "Ain't I?"

"Why the hell for?"

Daryl glanced at the kitchen for a moment and then back at Rick. "You didn't want me ta meet the kid."

Rick looked away and scratched at the back of his head. "It wasn't that I didn't... jus... didn't wanna have to explain... whatever this is..." He said awkwardly. "What exactly is..."

Carl came back out of the kitchen, holding his phone against his chest to muffle the receiver. "Mom says if you drive me home. She doesn't want me riding my back in the dark."

Rick rolled his eyes. "Like I'd let you leave this house on your bike after dark."

Carl smiled and put the phone back to his ear. "He said yes, mom." He said. "Okay. Yeah. Love you, too."

Rick glanced at Daryl. "You and Jessi are both staying."

Carl slipped the phone in his pocket. "Who's Jessi?"

Daryl let out a grunt and walked towards the kitchen. "I'll show you."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Carl was in the back yard, playing fetch with Jessi. Judy was in her bouncy chair, propped in front of the glass door in the kitchen. She let out a loud squeak every time the dog ran past. Rick and Daryl were sitting beside each other in at the kitchen table. Rick was leaning heavily on the table. He was half asleep even though it wasn't that late yet.

"'m sorry." Daryl said quietly.

"Hmm?" Rick turned his head slightly and blinked at Daryl.

"He was at the door an' I didn't know what to do."

"It's okay, Daryl."

Daryl shook his head. He was leaning back in his chair and he was staring at his hands in his lap. "No it ain't. You said..."

Rick let out a sigh and pushed himself off the table. He leaned back in his chair and stretched. "Wasn't you." He mumbled. "I was worried what he'd think." Rick glanced over as Carl and the dog ran past again. He smiled and breathed out. "He seems fine with it."

Daryl followed his movements and snorted. "He jus' likes the dog."

Rick laughed. "Probably. Always wanted one. But Lori was bit when she was younger. Was afraid of them."

"Never had a real pet neither." Daryl said. "Snuck a snake I'd caught into the house once. Kept it in a laundry basket fer a week 'fore mom found it."

Rick let out a laugh.

It was getting dark when Daryl called them in. "Yer gonna kill her an' Merle's gonna kill me." Daryl quickly filled Jessi's water dish and set it down for her. The dog drank it and then collapsed on the ground.

Carl sunk down on the floor beside her, trying to catch his own breath. "Who's Merle?"

"Me brother." Daryl bent down and picked the dog up. "Been trying to keep her alive while he's away. Can't do that if ya run 'er inta the ground."

"Sorry." Carl said sheepishly.

Daryl smirked as he carried Jessi into the living room. He set her down on the couch and she stretched out. "Jus' giving ya a hard time. She's fine. Jus' tired."

Rick was sitting across the room on the chair. Judy was in his lap, clapping her hands. She lifted them and waved as Daryl came closer. "Why does she like you better?"

Daryl shrugged and grabbed her off Rick's lap. "Gonna give her a bath and put her to bed."

Rick nodded and watched them disappear up the stairs. He turned as Carl walked in from the kitchen. "So... what do you really think?"

Carl shrugged and plopped down beside Jessi. The dog rolled over towards him and shoved her head under his hand. Carl scratched her ears and let out a sigh. "Were you ever gonna tell me?" He asked softly.

Rick sighed and leaned forward. "I... I don't know..." He breathed out. "Yes... I would have told you... eventually." He shook his head. "Maybe when you were older. I was just... scared. I felt like I'd lost everything, Carl. I didn't want to lose you."

"You always tell me that no matter what, you'll always love me." Carl said. "That goes for you, too, dad. No matter what, I love you. You're my dad."

Rick sighed. "Turning my own words against me, huh?"

Carl went on. "You could have told me about Daryl."

"I just... it just... happened, Carl. And then... Daryl's so..." He sighed and shook his head.

"Tell me how you met him."

Rick shook his head quickly. "Oh no."

Carl rolled his eyes. "Come on. Tell me."

Rick glanced over at him. He stared at him for a moment. Then nodded and leaned back. "Okay, fine. I went out drinking the day the divorce was finalized. I got really drunk and Daryl sat down beside me. I called him pretty and he drug me outside and I thought he was gonna kick my ass. And instead... he sort of hit on me and I invited him home."

Carl's eyes widened. "Dad!"

"I wasn't out trolling around for that, I swear." Rick said quickly. "It just happened. And he sort of never left."

Carl shook his head slowly and smiled. "You seem happy." He said after a few moments.

Rick nodded. "I am. I think... for the first time, I really am."

"Judy likes him."

Rick nodded again and looked to the stairs. He could hear the water running and thought he could hear Daryl's low voice. "She really does. When Carol disappeared, I tried to find another sitter. And Judy just screamed for everyone until I broke down and called Daryl. He'd oddly good with her." Rick was still smiling and gazing up the stairs. He was lost in thought for a few minutes. Lost in the enigma that was Daryl.

"Dad?" Carl said loudly.

"Hmm?" Rick shook his head and tore his gaze and thoughts away from who was upstairs. He turned back to Carl slowly. "What?"

Carl smiled. "I said I'm really happy for you. He seems really cool. And weird and so different from you."

"He is." Rick shook his head. "He's this amazing person, Carl. And he doesn't even know."

Carl frowned for a moment.

"What?"

Carl bit his lip and looked down. "You sound like you're... are you... in love?" He said softly.

Rick sighed and looked away.

Carl looked back up when Rick didn't say anything. "Dad?"

Rick shook his head. "I'm not gonna answer that."

"Dad..."

"No." Rick said loudly. "I accidently brought that up a few weeks ago. Daryl threw a fit. Said he wasn't worth it. He's got such a twisted, low self image. I'm... just afraid of... scaring him off."

"But you do, don't you?" Carl persisted.

Rick sighed and shook his head again. "You little shithead." He looked away. He tried not to think about it too much. Tried not to let himself think about it. "I'm afraid of myself too." He admitted softly. "I don't know how to be alone. I was with your mom most of my life. And I'm afraid... this is some kind of rebound and one day I'll wake up and not feel this way anymore and I'll hurt him... but it feels..." He shook his head. "Like I can't breathe without him. And that scares the hell out of me because it's been like five months."

Carl smiled. "You're in love."

Rick narrowed his eyes. "Don't say that again!" He snapped, shaking his head.

Carl looked down at the sleeping dog in his lap. "Sorry. I won't." They were silent for a bit until Carl looked up at the clock. His eyes widened. "Uh dad... it's getting late."

Rick glanced over. It was after 9. "Oh shit! Uh..." He leaned back and fished his phone out of his pocket. He frowned at the blank display. "She hasn't called." He said rather perplexed.

Carl pulled his out and shrugged. "Hasn't called me either."

That was weird. Lori'd called and yelled at Rick several times if they were running late. Even a few minutes and she was calling, panicked. Rick yawned and shook his head. "Wanna just sleep here?" He didn't think he could manage to drive across town.

Carl shrugged. "Sure. Can Jessi sleep in my room?"

Rick smiled and nodded. "She usually sleeps in Judy's, by the crib." Rick hit Lori's number and put the phone to his ear. It took a while for her to answer.

"Hello?"

"Lori?" He could barely hear here. The line kept cutting out. "Lori?"

"Rick?"

"Yeah... uh... we lost track of time." Rick said loudly. "Carl's gonna sleep here and we'll swing by early to get his school stuff and I'll take him."

The line was silent a moment. "I didn't get all that." Lori said. "Carl's not home?"

"No."

"You'll take him to school?"

"Yeah." Rick glanced over at Carl.

"Okay, that's fine." Lori said after a few moments. "Tell him I love him."

Rick pulled the phone from his ear. "She says she loves you." He mumbled. "She's not home."

Carl nodded. "She's probably out again."

"Again?"

"She has... a boyfriend..." Carl said awkwardly, looking away.

"Oh." Rick nodded. That was good. That was really good. He smiled slightly and leaned back. That meant there was a chance he hadn't ruined her life. Maybe they both could move on and get passed this. Maybe they could be happy for each other. Maybe they could even eventually be friends. He'd like that. After all the years of being with her, it felt odd not seeing her at all. And Shane. Maybe Shane would forgive him too. They'd been friends for their whole lives. Maybe he could have it all. Daryl and the kids. Lori and Shane. His parents.

Daryl came down the stairs. "You ain't left yet?"

Rick glanced back at him and then at Carl. Then he yawned and stood up. "Ain't going."

"Don't think ya can even make it ta the door." Daryl said, shaking his head. "Need me ta drive 'im?"

Rick shook his head. "Lori's on a date."

Daryl raised an eyebrow.

"He's sleeping here." Rick said, yawning again. "I'll take him to school tomorrow."

Daryl nodded stiffly.

"Judy asleep?" Rick asked, stepping closer to him.

He nodded again.

"Good. I'm tired." Rick glanced back at Carl. "Half an hour. Then you better be asleep." He grabbed for Daryl's hand.

Daryl pulled away from him and stepped back. His eyes were wide. "Rick."

"Sleep."

Daryl stepped closer to Rick. "I should sleep on the couch."

Rick grabbe4d his hand, harder this time, and yanked him towards the stairs. "See ya in the morning, Carl."

"Night dad. Night Daryl."

"G'night." Daryl mumbled, reluctantly letting Rick pull him up the stairs.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Author's Notes: I was working on like... chapter 12 or 13 I think the other night at work. Where Rick gets shot. And maaaaan. Just... maaaaaaaaan. I'm also trying to figure out exactly when I want Merle to appear and Carol and Sophia to reappear. I've had the basics in my head since the beginning. But now I'm like... WAIT! WHEN EXACTLY?! THIS CHAPTER? OR THE NEXT?!