chapterSIX.
Fuming mad I escaped towards my car as I fumble inside my purse for my keys. How could he do this to me. I finally decide to open up to him and he does this. And with HER! What the hell! I faintly heard him yell my name but escaping to my car is all I can focus on. My burning tears blurred my already faint vision as I stumbled into the newly black darkness. Those stars no longer lit my path. Instantly I feel strong arms spin me around. "Hey listen".
"DON'T TOUCH ME," I started to hit him with all my might but it wasn't doing any good, "Don't fucking touch me". I finally got a hold of his arms and pushed him away from me. He could see the tears in my eyes and I could see the pain in his. "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me. I thought you actually gave a shit about me". Kendall reached for my hand but I yanked it away causing him to cover his face with those same damn hands. The same hands he touched and caressed me with. Those same hands he held me with. And now those same hands he rubbed Melissa with.
Tears escaped his now dark olive green eyes and hit his pale cheek as he stared me down. "I DO love you Mariah but don't you think I get tired of waiting for you to stop playing these stupid ass games with me. I hate waiting for you to know that I'm not going to hurt you," I scoffed at that last comment.
"And this might sound selfish but I need someone now. Not whenever I'm available for your convenience," He spatted with frustration and hurt.
"I thought you guys were "Just Friends". I thought she meant nothing you," I spatted with just as much frustration and hurt.
"Well I mean something to her," He interjected raising his voice. "I don't have to sleep alone at night wondering if this will be my last lonely night. I don't have to wonder if this will be the day you finally let down your walls and finally belong to me like I belong to you. Melissa is there and she wants to be there for me".
I slowly clapped for dramatics. "Well I hope you two have a great fucking Hollywood ending". He finally got what he wanted but much to my disappointment it wasn't me. I wiped my last tears and walk towards the driver's side of my car. Before getting in I gave him one last look. Pain and Guilt clouded his eyes. I entered my vehicle, started it, and sped off with hatred on my mind and pain in my heart. Work was going to be an even bigger Bitch.
—-
"Wow you look terrible," Dylan asked as he sat down next to me with Samantha on his heels. "Gee thanks," I said, sarcasm filled my voice. They both crowded near me as I aggressively chopped my fork up and down playing with the lettuce in my salad. "How did it go with Kendall," he curiously asked looking at the frumpy gray sweat suit my body possessed. Him and Sam waited for my answer.
"Why don't you take a look over there," I nodded in the direction of a seemingly happy good-looking couple holding hands. His Blond hair shined in the sun and her Bleached Ombré styled hair was all in raged. They seemed like the perfect young Hollywood couple. The two walked distances away from us as they both smiled, Assholes. How could they be happy knowing that I'm hurt? How could Kendall be happy knowing that I was in pain? So much for dumb Love right?
"When did they get back together," Sam asked looking at me for an answer but all I could give her was a shrug. "Guys are jerks, who needs them anyway". From the tone in her voice I could tell this was in reference to Carlos more than Kendall. I continued playing with my salad more as they kept up the, as fans would call them, "Kenlissa" conversation. But my thoughts drifted back to Kendall. What would his fans have called us if they knew we were together? Kenariah? Marendall? And would they have even like us together? Melissa had the Number One Teen Drama in America. She was another one of Hollywood's "American Sweethearts" something I would never be. Magazine covers, Articles about her and Kendall, something I will never have. And to top it off she had movie roles coming and her sophomore album being released soon. Something I would never have, maybe some Indie film roles but never Hollywood Blockbusters like her. Sure I had guest starred on his show before but it was only one episode and I was James' love interest, not Kendall's. Could they even see us together or were we an odd couple?
"Don't worry I read lips. She just said 'I'll see you tonight Sweetie'," Dylan informed Sam and I. Was it just a date night or was she already staying the night with him? Girl Next Door my ass. As Melissa kissed Kendall goodbye and proceeded to leave, his direction drifted towards us. Sam and Dylan pretended to converse about our last episode for this season and if we would Kevin would want us to come back for another season. But my focus never left Kendall's and vice versa.
We stared each other down with too many mixed emotions, from Lust to Hate to Pain and now regret. We still wanted and needed each other but it still wasn't our time. Not yet.
