In Sengoku Jidai, when Kagome first took her steps five hundred years in the past, it was summertime. She would never forget the way the trees swayed in the wind or the freshness of the unpolluted air that was purely Japan.
Kagome, now several years older, came to the conclusion that now matter how many years had passed between now and then her naiveté did not change. Innocent Kagome still wished to see the best in the world.
She leaned her head back against a large Sakura tree and pondered, her sword dutifully by her side.
A part of her had come to hate the ivory weapon.
Her appearance, however alarming it was in the beginning, she had graciously accepted. Her heightened senses and unparalleled strength she took for granted.
Along the way, through the ups and downs in her life, the innocent and naïve Kagome had changed. For the second time in her life Kagome felt truly lost inside herself.
The first time was when her father had died. Kagome was ten years old when he left them and eleven when she heard the news.
A part of her blamed her mother; a bigger part of her blamed herself. She would always remember her fathers parting words as he walked out the door towards his death.
"Keep chasing rainbows baby" He whispered as he kissed her forehead "Because one day, when your life is full of darkness, you will find comfort in the rain."
Ten years later she came to the conclusion, sitting under a sakura tree, that all this time she had been chasing rainbows, as her father desired, never to see the insight in his parting words.
Life is full of trials and hardships that force us to grow and make us stronger. Lesser people will either ignore or resent these changes in their lives. Kagome, her head now resting in her palms, realized she was the former.
Her mind was constantly flashing to Rin, sword at her throat. The same innocent Rin who picked flowers and gave them, shyly, to Kagome.
Yet not the same at all.
The gash in her leg, now fully healed thanks to her new body, left behind a scar that would reminder of this painful lesson in life.
Life is one long struggle to survive, and Kagome, who spent her life chasing the rainbows, always had someone to protect her from the rain.
Her mother was there for her through the death of her father, always shining her contagious smile and drowning Kagome's sorrows with word of comfort and wisdom.
If it wasn't for the death of her father Kagome would have thought that there was no such thing as a rough life.
When Kagome was hurled 500 years into the past there was Inuyasha. However brash and rude the hanyou could be he would never fail to protect her.
And now Kagome was alone. Inescapably and most defiantly alone.
Kagome had learned two things while resting against the sakura tree. When you are alone in a merciless world such as this people tend to adapt or be killed. Kagome was most defiantly not adapting.
Her sword was pulsing temptingly at her side. Kagome's second epiphany was this. When Kagome was lost or scared she found comfort in something else. She would run to her mama or Inuyasha when she had a problem instead of facing it herself.
She pondered on this question for a long time before reaching a decision. Why was it that Kagome picked up this sword?
Absently Kagome traced a finger down the sheath and the sword pulsed against her hand. Kagome's conclusion was not something that she wanted to accept.
A part of her missed her doggie-eared friend, but it was not in the longing way that she used to. Before, when Kagome was frightened or worried she would chant his name like a mantra. Along the way, very recently, something inside her started to change.
The rainbow chasing Kagome was not yet ready to face the frightening world alone.
And then there it was, gleaming in the distance, possessing everything she wished she could be.
It consumed her every thought. She couldn't remember the last time she did not dream of it. And yet here she was, on the brink of changing her whole way of life, petting the sword that controlled her.
Just like her mother, just like Inuyasha.
She never before thought of Inuyasha's protection as a form of control but in essence that's exactly what it was. Kagome was simply going from bad to worse.
She thought back to Sesshomaru's words on how he would kill her if she did not show the skill of the innocence that she slaughtered. This was a totally founded idea.
A life for a life, or in this case one life instead of nothing.
Sesshomaru's logic was very profound and Kagome began to see him in a new light. She held respect for him in new ways. He was a man who could see past his losses towards a positive outcome. He could channel his rage into logic, his greed into passion, and his emotions into strength.
And he did all of this alone, no father to teach him how.
Kagome placed their lives side by side, seeing two completely different outcomes from the same scenario. Could Sesshomaru have turned out like her if he had a mother as understanding and protective as her own?
Kagome looked up at the figurative dark clouds that were forming above her sanctuary. She finally understood. In the most trying and darkest times in her life she took comfort in the rain.
For it was the rain that brought her rainbows.
--
Kagome took on a new ferocity to her training. She would study, late at night while the castle occupants were fast asleep, on her fur bed under candlelight determined to live up to her new title.
Before she could start over she had to right the wrongs in her life.
Kagome still found herself reluctant to give up her sword. It was a part of her now, and with Sesshomaru's help maybe she could learn to control it.
She found herself currently outside of said demons bedroom door, which was located beside her own and before she could raise her hand to knock the door was opened, revealing a shirtless Sesshomaru.
"Ahem." Kagome made a point not to look at him but at the large feather bed that was directly over his shoulder. "Sesshomaru-sama, I have a favour to ask of you, may I come in?"
There were several moments where Sesshomaru said nothing, simply looked at her as she stared off into space. Finally he stepped aside. "Very well, if you must."
Kagome made a point to stay as far away from his well muscled chest as possible, refusing to blush. She made her way over to the only available place to sit, Sesshomaru's bed.
Kagome made eye contact with him and cleared her throat again. Sesshomaru, either amused or disgruntled she couldn't tell, raised an eyebrow as she plopped herself down on his feather bed. Internally Kagome pouted about how much more comfortable it was then hers.
"I have a favour to ask of you." Kagome started.
"So you have said."
Kagome felt heat rise to her cheeks. "Yes… Well…" She cleared her throat once more. "I understand that my sword has been…" Kagome took a moment to phrase her words right. "Acting without my permission. Since you have tamed Tokijin I am asking for your help."
"I believed that I was teaching you how to master the sword."
Kagome gave him a dry look. "Charging at me while I'm wounded was not helping and we both know it." She watched Sesshomaru's eyes twinkle slightly. "I need you to instruct me as to why this sword is the way that it is. I need verbal instruction, not physical."
"In exchange for?"
Kagome paused, she was not expecting a form of repayment. "I don't know, what is it that you would find fair payment?"
Sesshomaru took a whole five minutes to respond. Kagome, in this time, simply watched him as he pondered her answer. She reflected on how much he looked like his brother, and how much he did not.
Inuyasha carried many boy-ish features, where Sesshomaru was in every way a man. Kagome wondered idly if Inuyasha compared Kikyo to her in the same way.
"In payment for this service you will give me an heir." Sesshomaru stated, his eyes now fully focused on her.
It took Kagome twenty heartbeats before Sesshomaru's words sunk into her head. Heat rose to her cheek and she wondered very briefly if it was worth it.
Kagome thought it through very thoroughly. She never once asked him why he wanted one from her. She was a demon, and now his mate. It was only logical, even if he wished to leave her later, that he would want a legitimate heir. Another question that she answered easily was why he did not require Rin for this. Rin was more of a daughter then a Mate, and she was most definitely human.
Could Kagome give birth to a child that, from reading between the lines of Sesshomaru's words, would most likely not be a part of her life?
Even though Kagome was twenty years old the thought of children crossed her mind briefly. She had decided that she did, one day, wish to have one of her own and she vowed to be the best mother.
It felt like forever before she came to an answer. "I will give you an heir on two conditions." Kagome felt sure in her response. "I will play an active part in raising this child." This was not a question. "And I will not be with child until I feel that I have fully mastered my flaws. I know I will not be a good mother until I can focus solely on our child."
Though Sesshomaru did not show it, her answer shocked him. It was unlikely in this day and age that a woman was uninvolved in a child's future, but him being a Lord this concern was not unfounded. A small amount of respect for her swelled when she refused to give birth until she could be a fit mother. This seemed reasonable.
"Very well."
---
A/N I know there doesn't seem to be a lot of information in this chapter but I assure you it is a necessity. Kagome has finally understood that she has a problem. She is taking the necessary steps to help herself and is willing to pay the price to set things straight.
NOTE: Do not mistake this acceptance to have a child with Sesshomaru as feelings that she has for him. She respects Sesshomaru, but she doesn't like him (as of yet). This is very much a child of convenience. Sesshomaru needs an heir and Kagome is conveniently his mate. Coincidence? I think not.
Fear not dear readers. This pairing is Sesshomaru/Kagome. Sparks will fly.
