Author: Yes i'm updating this one again... i just couldnt help it. Mary Sues amuse the bejesus out of me and i really like this concept that i am developing. Once again I'd like to thank Wikipedia for its wonderful help with research. I also used google to help with the different types of Mary Sues... that was like pulling teeth... Also I'd like to say i tested Setsy with several "Mary Sue litmus tests" I got one perfectly well rounded character, one boarderline, and one Uber Sue... needless to say that didnt tell be anything.
Setsuna glanced back at the door as she was ushered through a hallway. She frowned, feeling like she'd forgotten something very important.
Tiffany's voice interrupted her desperate attempt at sanity. "As you may or may not know there are three main types of Mary Sues that we have to keep separated for health issues. That's the Marty Stus, the Anti Sues and then us. The reason we have to separate the Marty Stus from the females is because with them... well we'd never get anything done!" She giggled and it sounded like the tinkling of bells. "We keep the Anti Sues separated because... well... they're so depressing. What with all the ugly and psychoness. They're kind of a disgrace to the Sue name. But we must take care of them, it's our duty." A sudden widening of the hall brought them to an immense chamber. It slightly resembled a study room in a library. About twenty rows of tables were set out in front of them, six computers to a table. Bookshelves lined the walls, filled to the brim with books. Above the bookshelves pictures were hung. The pictures reached all the way to the ceiling which had a huge dome skylight situated in the middle.
"Whas tha picture?" Setsuna pointed to a very large picture right in front of them. It had a heavy wood frame painted black. It was of a beaming fifteen and a half year old girl.
"That is our namesake." Tiffany said, a chill to her voice. "Lieutenant Mary Sue. She was created by Paula Smith in 1973 in a quaint little story called "A Trekkies Tale". Unfortunately it was a parody, meant to make fun of characters like this. We honour her as our name sake, but also know her as the bane of our existence. The jealousy we are subject to because of our superior beauty, minds, and powers." Tiffany sighed. "Well, this is the history room. The computers hold every fanfiction known in existence to hold a Mary Sue. All the books on the shelves hold Cannon Sues, whilst the pictures on the walls depict our forefathers and mothers. We got one of our Harry Potter Sues to animate them like that." she said proudly before leading Setsuna down the aisles to the doors on the far end of the room.
There were three doors. "Left is the men, right is the crazies, and we are in the middle." Tiffany smiled and put her hand on a palm scanner. A green light flashed and the door swung open. Tiffany motioned Setsuna forward. As she crossed the threshold balloons and streamers fell down from the sky. "SURPRISE!" millions of girls yelled. Setsuna found herself dog piled and hugged by many scantly clad women. Generally speaking, Setsuna wouldn't have minded that much but she was in a fragile state alone and without her sisters. She crawled out from under the screaming teens and took her first breaths of clean air. "Come on girls, you're scaring her. Give her some space, you remember when you guys first became Sues!" scolded Tiffany. This calmed them down and they stood smiling at Setsuna.
The blue and silver haired fictive bit her lip. "Whatchu staring at?' She asked peevishly.
Tiffany gave her a hand to stand up. Setsuna continued to glare at the girls.
"Um... are you sure she isn't an anti sue? I think she might be a bit cracked." A leopard girl with long tawny hair and bright green eyes said.
Tiffany glared "She's just a bit skittish. She's been her own character for so long I'm sure it's strange being under the curse. She'll be better after the initiation."
"But that's not for like hours! I've waited so long for Setsy to be one of us. Cant we just initiate her now?" whined a girl with ebony hair dressed in a slytherine uniform.
"No! You know the rules. We wait until the mother comes back." Tiffany chastised.
"But you know she's always late." a Vulcan teen rolled her eyes.
"No buts! We still have to sort her anyway. Then give her a makeover. By that time I'm sure the mother will be back."
The gathering of Mary Sues grumbled but reluctantly gave way.
Tiffany smiled brilliantly "Good! Now let's go get her sorted!"
"YAY!"
Setsuna was carried by a wave of crazy, sex-hormone induced, scary-powerful teens. She was directed to sit on a three legged stool. Tiffany brought out a highly shined wood box out and opened it. Inside was a pink and purple velvet... sorting hat? ahem... yes. A pink and purple velvet hat that looked like the Harry Potter's hat's ritzy cousin. It was placed on Setsuna's head. Her eyes turned upward to look at the brim.
"Let us see..." said a silky sex phone operator's voice.
Setsuna eeped.
"Oh don't be so surprised you dolt." The hat said. "Hm... You're not really all that wimpy and pathetic are you? You don't hide behind men anyways?" Setsuna shook her head. "Then no Victim!Sue... You are loud and obnoxious... Do you have much of a tortured past?"
Setsuna shrugged. "People died, but they do that all the time."
"True... probably not a Warrior!Sue then... What about Mage!Sue? You're all magical like right?
Setsuna again shrugged "Yeah... but I'm not some Sailor Scout."
Meanwhile back at the Bat cave... or in front of the Mary Sue House, Marieko burst out into random giggles. Raye and Bunny just stared at her. The Author continued to laugh so hard she had to plop down on the concrete while tears washed down her face. After a few minuets her hysterics died down enough that she could now have the semblance of sanity.
"I think I speak for all of us when I say, What the hell?" Bunny asked.
"I don't know. I sometimes start laughing for no reason what so ever but usually not that much... must have been something ironic." the avatar author nodded.
"Okie then..." Raye brought them back to the subject at hand. "Generally speaking a forcefeild like this isn't held by a person, but rather some sort of anchor or machine. It would probably be located behind the shield unless it is needed outside for some twist of plot." Raye explained sagely.
Marieko blinked "I need to get rid of Setsuna more often. You're so much better at being smart than she is."
Raye smiled "I always thought so."
"Let's search the area just in case we have a twist of plot." Bunny said. "Then we'll decide our course of action from there."
Back inside the House of Sue
"I don't think you're angsty enough to be Punk!Sue... too blatantly pretty to be Misfit!Sue... so not a Sweet!Sue...or Helpful!Sue... no Barbie!Sue..." The hat rambled on and on. "Oh! Got it! You are so totally a Naughty!Sue. You drink, smoke, get arrested, you have scars and piercings, you're a whore, you're not really much with the untamed hair and smoldering eyes but oh well."
"Hear that girls? Setsuna's the newest recruit for the Naughty Sue!"
"Oh joy." said a girl with wild red hair and smoldering green eyes. She and her group were scantly clad in leather and fishnet.
"Skank, you know the drill. You and your crew take her and make her over!" Tiffany said, taking the hat from Setsuna's head and pushing her towards the bad-ass bitches in the corner.
"Skank?" Setsuna asked skeptically.
"My real name's Melody. But don't call me that. I'm proud of Skank." the girl explained.
"Uh-huh."
A girl with messy black hair and dark make-up grabbed Setsuna. Come on new recruit. Lets get you Slutted up!"
Setsuna looked down at her torn jeans and off the shoulder graffiti T-shirt. "Eep?" she said.
