A/N: This is a rather short chapter. But since I left you hanging there with that cliffy, I decided to update now. The next chapter will be longer and up soon. And thanks again for those wonderful reviews!
"Have you brought me here so that no one can witness how you stomp on my heart again?" Tonks asked and looked at Remus questioningly.
Chapter 7: Listen to your heart
Remus sighed. "If you're convinced that I will turn you down again, why did you even bring it up?"
Tonks folded her arms across her chest. "Because I won't give up. Even if we'll argue about this for the rest of my life, I won't stop loving you and I won't stop telling you so. Although I'm not sure how much time we have left."
"What are you talking about?" Remus asked.
"Dumbledore," Tonks replied. "He's dead, but Voldemort is still on the move. The Order is left without a leader, without its one Secret Keeper. You know Voldemort will seize power pretty soon now. The Ministry will never be able to stop him. Scrimgeour is no better than the rest of them."
Remus knew she was right. It wasn't being pessimistic; it was just facing the truth. "And with such times ahead, it's even more unwise to get romantically involved with someone."
"No, it's even more important," Tonks insisted. "For all we know, we could be dead tomorrow. We only have each other, Remus. I'm not sure I'm strong enough to face what's coming alone."
She moved closer to him. "And soon enough everyone will have far too many problems to care about the fact that I'm living with a werewolf and who knows whether there will even be a community left that could make us outcasts. Please Remus… or tell me now, look me in the eyes and tell me… not that you can't or that you shouldn't… tell me that you really don't want to be with me."
Remus did indeed look into her eyes and that little voice in his head that told him that this was a mistake, that it was irresponsible… it was still there. But the shock of having lost Dumbledore and the prospect of what lay ahead was a lot more powerful. And what was more… Remus felt that there was just no strength left in him anymore.
All throughout the year he had been fighting to resist what his heart really wanted, had repeated his arguments in his head like a mantra, had endured the pain of watching Tonks cry, of seeing her this miserable only because of him. But now with nothing but despair ahead of them, he just couldn't do it anymore. He felt weak and tired and he yearned for something that was not dark and painful…
And it was now that his mind was forced to let go and his heart resumed control. His hands reached out for Tonks immediately and he pulled her towards him, placing one hand in her hair and the other on her back and he kissed her, kissed her like he had never kissed a woman before. And bloody hell, it was the best he had felt in years.
Tonks got over her surprise quickly and she wrapped her arms around him and responded to his kiss with all the passion and love that she had been forced to hold back for a whole year.
When their lips parted again because they were running out of air, Tonks smiled, really smiled, at him again for the first time. "I take that to mean that you do want to be with me, after all."
"Of course I want to be with you. I've always wanted to be with you," Remus told her and gently caressed her cheek. He felt as if every minute in which he didn't touch her was now a wasted one.
"But why didn't you just say so, you pigheaded… lovely, lovely man?" Tonks asked, shaking her head. "You could have spared us all that misery!"
"I know. But you've got to understand that everything I said… I still think it's true – that this is a hell of a risk and that it's not at all responsible of me to let it happen. But I just can't fight this any longer and frankly, I don't want to. And I think that I spent way too much time with James and Sirius to be an entirely responsible person."
Tonks smiled. "And what exactly is 'this' that you don't want to fight any longer?"
Remus took her face into his hands and looked into her dark, sparkling eyes. "I, Remus John Lupin, hereby declare that I love you, Nymphadora Tonks, and that I finally came to my senses and am ready to be with you."
Tonks beamed at him even though she had winced slightly when he had mentioned her first name, but for now she kissed him fiercely on the mouth. When she let go of him again, Remus tried to put on a serious expression. "But you know that there is no way that I'll continue to call you Tonks now."
She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Why not?"
"Well, have you ever heard of a man who calls his wife by her last name?" Remus asked and smiled, which felt pretty good, too.
"Wife?" Tonks asked, instead of answering his question. "Is this a proposal?"
"What?" Remus hadn't seen that one coming.
"You just called me your wife," Tonks said cheerfully.
"I… well, you know what I meant," Remus replied evasively. "I meant you as my… significant other."
Tonks had a peculiar expression on her face. "Yes, and how significant exactly will I be? I mean, are we exclusive or…?"
"Of course, we are!" Remus stared at her. "But Merlin's beard, we only just decided to be together at all."
"But we could and should have done that a year ago," Tonks reminded him. "And I think we also agreed back then that life is too short."
Remus looked at her and he saw that look in her eyes that told him that she wouldn't let go of this one easily and he just didn't want to start arguing all over again. So he smiled. "And you would allow me to call you Nymphadora then?"
Tonks made a face. "No, I would tell you to call me 'Dora'. That's the nickname my parents gave me."
"Why did you never mention that before?" Remus asked, shaking his head.
"Why, I was fine with Tonks."
Remus put his arms around her once more. "Well, Dora, would it be alright with you if we postponed the decision about a possible marriage at least until after the funeral?"
For the first time since their kiss Tonks looked sad again. "The funeral… do you think it will be held here?"
"Possibly. This school was very important to Dumbledore."
"I still can't quite believe it. Dumbledore… dead… and killed by… by…" she broke off.
Remus pulled her even closer to him and she rested her head against his chest. "I know. It seems impossible. But then again, he was only human after all."
They stood like that in silence for a while until Tonks finally let go of him again. "Let's go back."
"Go back where?" Remus asked.
"Hospital wing. I need to show them that I've finally won you over," Tonks said. She beamed at him and this time she was the one pulling him along.
When they entered the hospital wing again, Arthur, Molly, Fleur and a now conscious Bill looked at them. The kids had all left.
Tonks continued to grin and since she was still holding Remus' hand, there was no need for much explanation. Molly squealed in delight and came over to hug them both while Arthur and Fleur smiled.
"Oh, I can't believe it. You finally got past all that ridiculous nonsense!" Molly was almost crying. "I'm so happy for you two."
"Thanks, Molly," Tonks said cheerfully.
"Uh… am I missing something here?" came Bill's voice from the bed and despite the dark hour that was upon them everybody laughed.
"I really wanted it to turn black. But whenever I look at you, I feel so happy and I missed having it pink, anyhow. But then I feel guilty for being happy on the day of… his funeral."
Tonks felt miserable about her dilemma, but Remus just laughed. "Oh, Dora, I think Dumbledore would love your hair to be pink today. And he would also want you be happy."
"Yes, well, I guess I won't be so happy anymore once we get there."
And sure enough Tonks felt a lump in her throat when she and Remus approached the hundreds of chairs that had been set up on the Hogwarts grounds and she realised that she knew probably less than half of the people attending the funeral. But they sat down among other members of the Order, next to Mad-Eye, Kingsley and the Weasleys. Remus took her hand into his own and Tonks gave him a grateful smile.
When the ceremony began and Hagrid brought Dumbledore's dead body, wrapped in purple velvet, the last bit of the happiness Tonks had been feeling vanished. She was now forced to accept the cruel reality that Dumbledore was indeed dead and not available for advice and leadership any longer. And when the flames erupted around the dead body and turned into the beautiful white tomb, Tonks' eyes were leaking tears and Remus put an arm around her. She knew that this was even worse for him than for her because he had always felt so grateful towards Dumbledore for allowing him to attend Hogwarts and later to come back to teach.
"I never really told him. I should have been more grateful," he whispered.
Tonks looked at him and was suddenly oblivious to her own tears. "He knew, Remus, he knew. I know he did. And you know it, too. After all, if he was close to being omniscient in life, he'll surely know everything in death."
A little smile appeared on Remus' lips and he pulled her closer. "I love you," he whispered into her ear.
Tonks smiled, too. "Then there is no reason not to get married, is there?"
Remus looked at her and for a second Tonks thought he would tell her that there were lots of reasons, but then he just smiled. "No, I guess not."
Tonks had never been this incredibly happy and sad at the same time. "Do you think Dumbledore would mind if I kissed you now?"
Remus glanced at the white tomb. "I think he would just smile."
"Good," Tonks whispered and did indeed kiss him. "But you really want to get married, right?" she asked. "I haven't just worn you down?"
Remus put a finger on her lips to silence her. "If, for reasons I still don't really understand, you are actually willing to take me, I will marry you."
Tonks smiled broadly, although there was something in Remus' expression that suggested he hadn't entirely forgotten about his doubts and worries. But her happiness overpowered these thoughts. "Then you are in luck because I am more than willing."
And their lips found each other once more.
When everyone was getting up to leave, Molly asked, "Would you like to come with us for a more private memorial service? Mad-Eye and Kingsley are coming, too."
"Thanks for the invitation, Molly, but I think we'll get going," Tonks replied and when Remus was shaking hands with Arthur, she leaned over and whispered, "I'm not sure when we'll tell everyone. But we've decided to get married."
Molly's jaw dropped. "That's wonderful! But how can Remus have changed his mind so completely so soon?"
Tonks shrugged. "Whatever it is, I'm not complaining."
Remus put an arm around her waist and Tonks just smiled at Molly before she turned her attention towards her new fiancé. "Ready to go home?" he asked.
"Where is home?" she asked in reply.
"Your place," Remus said. "Mine's not really meant to live in."
Tonks nodded and they left Hogwarts to Disapparate. When they entered her living room a few minutes later, Tonks looked around. Everything still looked the same (only messier). Somehow it didn't seem appropriate for the major changes that were taking place in her life right now.
"We can redecorate if you like," she suggested. "I mean, now that we are both…"
But Remus' lips prevented her from finishing her sentence. "I don't want to redecorate," he told her while holding her close. "I like it the way it is. It's… you."
Tonks smiled. "What would you like to do instead?"
"Actually, I'm ready to just go to bed," Remus said.
"Sounds good to me," Tonks agreed and pulled him towards her bedroom. There she stopped and smiled. "Do you remember the first time you were in here?"
"Quite vividly," Remus nodded. "You know, you never told me about that nightmare…"
Tonks made a face. "Oh, don't remind me! It was horrible. Every other night exactly the same dream, always the snake killing… killing…" she trailed off, shaken by the memory.
"I'm here to hold you again if you want me to," Remus said, taking her hands into his.
"I've been waiting an entire year for this, so don't you dare go anywhere else," Tonks replied, her eyes twinkling, and it still felt a little unreal that she could finally just pull him close and kiss him.
