Part 7

Gracie wasn't at church Sunday. Before services, Adam stood outside by the surrey he had driven and waited for her; his family had taken the buckboard to church and were already inside. He had packed a picnic lunch for the two of them, him and Gracie, as a surprise. He hoped that Gracie would accept his invitation after church if he had everything with him-a jar of lemonade, fried chicken, apple pie wrapped in oiled paper, utensils and plates and a blanket to spread on the grass. After services, he wanted to take Gracie to the lake where they could be alone and could talk-and he could kiss her. And the memory of what has transpired between the two of them the last time they were together was foremost in Adam's mind; he was determined to treat Gracie respectfully and to keep his desires in check. He had often felt shame when he thought of how he hadn't written Gracie regularly when he was away and Adam realized that he had taken her for granted, so certain and secure in her love was he.

But Gracie didn't arrive, not her or her father. Adam began to pace anxiously, looking down the street for her carriage. He knew she wasn't inside the church, he had checked that as soon as he had arrived and now the service was to begin soon and there was no Gracie. He turned at the sound of wheels but it was Carl Reagan and his father.

Carl helped his father down and let his father lean on his arm. Will's eyesight was becoming bad and Dr. Martin had said that Will could be completely blind within the next ten years. Nevertheless, although Will was no longer the active foreman on the Ponderosa, he still was an "Honorary" foreman and helped out when he could and advised Ben on certain issues dealing with cattle such as which pasture to move them to next and on breeding to get the desired characteristics.

Adam tipped his hat at Will respectfully. "Morning, Mr. Reagan," Adam said.

"Morning, Adam. Don't tell me we're late and the sermon's so bad that you're out here."

Adam smiled. "No, I'm just waiting for someone."

"Pa, you mind if I stand out here and jaw with Adam for a while? You okay to get up the stairs by yourself?" Carl asked. His father told him he was and left the two alone.

"Let me guess, Adam. You're waitin' for Gracie, right? I heard she's back in town."

"Yeah, I'm waiting for Gracie. Why?"

"Oh, I just wondered. I also wonder if she's still as pretty as she was. Is she?"

"Yeah. She's as pretty if not prettier."

"I hear she's a widow and you know what they say about widows."

"No, what do they say about widows?"

"That since they've been married, they need a man in their bed to give them a poke-they get to like it and need it."

"Carl, just shut your goddam mouth."

Carl laughed at Adam's discomfort. "You know, while you were gone to college, I courted Gracie-found out why you liked her so much. She ever tell you that?"

At first Adam was unsure but then he thought about Gracie and Adam was sure that she wouldn't have anything to do with Carl despite his good looks. "Sure you did."

Carl laughed heartily. "Can't fool you now, can I," Carl said. "Well, I tried, Adam. That Gracie-I sure wanted to see what was under her skirts but she wouldn't have anything to do with me."

"Gracie's always been discerning." Adam looked back down the street to see if he saw Gracie and her father.

"You know, Adam, I been thinking about going to Mexico. How'd you like to join me? We could live high there and they have women twice as pretty and forty times as wild as Gracie. Think of the good times we could have there."

"I've been away from home too much as it is," Adam said. "I think I'll just stay put awhile."

"Yeah, but just the other day you were saying how you'd like a little adventure."

"Well, that's before I found that Gracie was back in town."

"I guess she could be an adventure. Kinda like breakin' a new horse-her buckin' and you tryin' to stay on top?"

"Carl…" Adam shook his head. Then he untied the horse from the hitching post and climbed in the surrey.

"Hey, Adam, can I come too. Maybe we could have a threesome." Carl stood and grinned. Adam was so easy to rile lately-too easy and Gracie had always been a tender spot with Adam, something Carl could never understand-she was just a girl like any other girl as far as Carl was concerned.

"Go inside to church," Adam said. "If anyone needs their soul saved, it's you." And Adam clucked to the horse and headed for Gracie's house.

"Why, Adam, come in." Gracie moved aside and Adam stepped into the familiar parlor. He thought he would feel more comfortable but there was now something between him and Gracie and it frustrated Adam because he didn't know what to do. He felt that it was his fault; he should have been more considerate of Gracie all those years he was gone after she gave herself to him. Adam considered that Gracie may resent that he knew her so intimately and she was embarrassed.

"You weren't in church and I was concerned." Adam held his hat in his hand, nervously turning the brim.

"My father didn't feel up to it. He's the main reason I came back to Virginia City-his health is bad and he needs me here."

"I'm sorry." Adam looked down and then with a little half smile, he said, "I flattered myself and thought you came back to see me."

Gracie smiled. "I am glad to see you, very glad. I missed you, Adam, our talks and our friendship. The sermon's probably started but I'd like you to stay awhile, if you can."

"I can and I will, but, Gracie, I packed a picnic lunch. I was hoping we could go down to the lake and talk. I have so much to tell you and I know you have a lot to tell me. I've missed you, Gracie. I've missed you so…our closeness."

Gracie looked off, her gaze unfocused. "Closeness. Yes, Adam, we were and we have a friendship, the most valuable one in my life and the most precious. But I suppose…" Gracie looked at Adam. "I'm sorry, Adam, I can't leave my father this morning as much as I would love to go on a picnic with you."

"Well," Adam said, "I'll bring the picnic in here. How about that?"

"What?" Gracie looked puzzled.

"Just wait," Adam said, and he tossed his hat on the chair and went outside and soon returned holding the picnic basket and with the blanket tucked under his arm. Gracie laughed as Adam spread the blanket out on the rug after moving a few pieces of furniture and then began to empty the basket of its food. "Lunch is served. A little early, for sure, but won't you join me?" Adam swept his arm in invitation and Gracie nodded and then sat on the blanket and Adam joined her and they had their picnic on the floor of Gracie's parlor.

Adam eventually managed to have Gracie talk about her husband and she finally talked about her child who had died, Patricia had been her name. Adam watched Gracie's face and he could read every emotion as they gripped her. He saw the intense sadness she felt at the death of her small family and Adam thought of how brave she was; he didn't think that he could have handled such a devastation as well as she. He tried to give her sympathy but she would have none of it.

Then she asked Adam to tell her about college and all that had transpired with him and he found that his experiences had been petty compared to hers; barely worth mentioning. She asked him why he hadn't married yet and Adam laughed and said that she of all people should know what a miserable husband he would make, his being self-centered and thoughtless. And then their smiles faded.

"Come to me, Gracie," Adam said. And Gracie fell into his arms, and Adam, his back against the settee, held Gracie next to him and they just sat quietly and Adam felt that whatever wall had been between them had crumbled into dust but yet, there was still something... Adam kissed the top of her head, her hair smooth and soft against his lips and uttered a silent prayer of thanks that Gracie was back; she brought him peace.

TBC