this chapter was gonna lead into something better but i have no idea why it turned out this way
also i didn't know what to call this chapter but i'm listening to a song entitled the same thing so
OH AND ALSO i have nothing against religious people and i'm sorry if this offends you, just know that was not my intention, thats just how people have treated me so...


"On my way to church today, I saw two gays holding hands in the store. An absolutely disgusting sight. Made everyone uncomfortable. So I took the Lord's power into my hands and I approached them."

Pearl shifts uncomfortably in her seat and pulls at the hem of her skirt. Another middle aged white man stands at the pulpit, staring into the pews as if he was making sure everyone was listening. Pearl's eyes roam over the rows, seeing that nearly everyone is paying attention, the exception being some toddlers coloring.

"It was then that I repeated God's words from Leviticus 20:13 "If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltness is upon them". One of the young men said that it was fine by him. So now I ask of all of you to pray for the men taken by the devil himself. Pray for the unfortunate souls and maybe the Lord will forgive them. Maybe they'll come to their senses and be guided by God's light."

Everyone nods their heads while they say "Amen!" in unison.

Pearl looks over to her mother, nodding her head and saying a prayer under her breath. Her father repeating amen a few times. She laces her fingers together and holds her breath.

*:・゚✧ ✧゚・: *

"How ironic that they talked about being gay like two days after you confessed how gay you were for me." Lapis chuckles, running her fingertips over Pearl's arms.

"It's rather ridiculous how they act. People can love who they want to love. Why is that such a difficult concept- Stop that, it tickles." She finishes with a smile, slapping Lapis' hand away playfully.

She smiles lazily. "People just suck."

Pearl closes her eyes. "Agreed."

Lapis stares at her. She can see pale skin where her sweatpants and t-shirt are supposed to connect but fail to do so. At first glance it looks like it's never endured any type of pain, but Lapis can see even lighter lines running along the skin on her hip. Still, she's amazed by how perfect it is compared to her own. /Does she even know how amazing she is?/

It's been easier to accept her feelings since last Friday. She's okay with how lovely Pearl is and how much she appreciates her. It's so easy, yet so complicated. Complicated because there's still the thought that it's all fake. Maybe Pearl just wants to test her own feelings. She just wants to experiment. But at the same time Lapis knows she isn't. It's so complicatedly simple.

"You're beautiful." Lapis finally says.

It takes a moment before Pearl replies. "So are you." She says while opening her eyes again.

The blue haired girl takes a deep breath, studying Pearl's blue eyes. She snakes an arm behind the others midsection and pulls her closer, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "You wanna spend the night?"

"Of course I do. But my parents probably won't allow it. We have school tomorrow."

"It's not like we'll be partying all night."

"I know."

Lapis sits up and sits on her knees, still facing Pearl. "Please…"

"Don't ask me, ask my parents." Pearl chuckles.

"No… Dinner then?"

"Hm…" Pearl considers it.

A knock at the bedroom door ends her train of thought and Lapis turns around as her dad cracks the door open. "Oh, hey, Pearl. Lapis, do you want Outback for dinner? I just got paid so we can finally afford it… Pearl, if it's alright with your parents, you can eat with us, I'll order you some too."

"Ha, we were just talking about that." Lapis smiles and looks back to Pearl. "Stay?"

"I'm sure it will be alright with my parents. I'll call them." She pulls out her phone and begins to get to the call screen.

"Alright, just let me know. Lapis, text me your orders, I have to pick up my board from the shop and get some things before so…" He glances around the room. "Don't break any laws while I'm gone."

"I can't promise anything." Lapis jokes. Her dad laughs before shutting the door again.

She turns back to Pearl, not really paying attention to the conversation she's having with her mom. Lapis sighs and stretches.

*:・゚✧ ✧゚・: *

"I believe in you." Lapis stares at Pearl, resting the side of her face on the kitchen table. "Just a few more bites."

"No, I'll pay your dad back."

"Pearl, he doesn't care. I just care that you haven't eaten anything since Friday."

Pearl stares down at the stake her and Lapis split, her half is almost gone while Lapis' is. "I'm… I don't want to."

Lapis sighs. "Okay, fine. But promise you'll eat breakfast. I don't want you to starve to death. If I'm not allowed to do it, neither are you." She stands and puts the food back into the carry-out container and places it in the fridge. "You can come back for it."

"Thank you… I'm sorry I'm so… Difficult." She stands and pushes in her chair.

Lapis leans against the counter. "You're not. I just wish I could like… help you, y'know? I mean you don't deserve to hate your body that much."

"Neither do you. And it's not only that I hate my body, even if I somehow learned to love myself the way I am, anorexia would still be engraved into my mind. At this point it's just a matter of routine." Pearl stands in front of her and holds out her hand. Lapis places hers in Pearls and the older girl laces their fingers together. "I do appreciate how much you care for me, though."

"Mmhm. I feel you." She feels small all of a sudden and slowly she can feel heat rising to her cheeks. Pearl stares at her for some time, deciding to wrap her arms around Lapis' waist instead. "I'll get you out of that 'routine' eventually."

"Thank you." Pearl smiles.

"But you can't leave for at least an hour now."

"Why?" Though she's not complaining.

"Can't let you go throw up all the progress we just made." She says in a joking tone even though she's serious.

Pearl laughs. "Damn, you sound like a doctor."

Eventually they decide to go back to Lapis' room and watch some documentary about space. But Lapis can't focus on anything but the way Pearl looks so invested in it. Don't get her wrong, Lapis loves space. She just doesn't want to focus on that tonight. So instead she lays on her side and pulls Pearl to lay with her, which she doesn't really fight, just stares at her with a blush. Once they're laying down together, Lapis lets her get back into the show a little bit before she puts her mouth on the others neck, knowing it'll make the older girl flustered, before blowing the loudest raspberry she can on the others neck.

Pearl is silent just long enough for Lapis to worry that she fucked up. But her anxieties melt away when Pearl begins to laugh. "You're a little shit."

"You're a fucking nerd."


oh and sorry for not updating in like 82 years. i'm having troubles trying to convince myself to keep living lmao. this made me feel a bit better tho :/