Disclaimer:I do not own South of Nowhere, anything related to the show, nor this story. Story belongs to Kim Pritekel, all credit goes to her.

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, they're really appreciated. Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!

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Chapter Seven

I watched my parents' dogs playing in the yard, tromping through the remnants of last weekend's snow. My arms crossed over my chest, I sighed heavily.

"Ashley, honey. Here, love." Mom moved up behind me, one warm arm around my shoulders, the other hand filled with a mug of hot coffee.

"Thanks, mom." I said quietly, taking the coffee. She rested her chin on my shoulder from behind. I had shown up on their doorstep at four this morning, and hadn't said a word yet as to why I'd shown up three days early.

"Honey, I don't know what happened, but whatever it is, and whenever you're ready to talk, we're here, okay?"

"Thank you." I allowed myself to be enveloped in a warm hug, and with a kiss to my cheek, mom was gone, leaving me with my thoughts.

My thoughts. What a bad lot that was. I had six hours to think about everything, to mull it over,

kick myself in the ass, beat myself up, cut my own damn head off. How could I have done that?

I felt a tear slowly sneak its way out of my right eye, followed closely by one out of my left. My eyes were already stinging and red from the first go round.

"Hey, kiddo."

I turned from the window at the sound of my father's soft voice. He sat in his chair, that smile on his face the melted my defences every time.

"Daddy," I sobbed, setting my coffee cup down as I hurried over to him. He engaged the lock on his chair and held out his arms. In two point three seconds I had curled up in his lap, his strong arms wrapped around me. He let me cry, soothing my heart with his soft, kind words and hands on my back.

"What's happened to my girl? What's got my Ashley all upset?" he whispered into my ear, kissing the side of my head.

"I'm a fool, dad," I sniffled. "Such a fool."

"What happened?"

Finally I pulled back, wiping my eyes with my sleeve. Dad smiled then pulled out his hankie. I think he was one of the only men on the planet under the age of seventy who carried one. I took it, wiping my eyes and blowing my nose.

"I fell in love with Spencer," I said softly. "Again." He raised a brow at that, but I said nothing.

He waited for me to continue. "I'm a real dumbass, Dad. Last night, I don't know what came over me. But I went out walking, in the rain," I chuckled at my own antics. "I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when I ended up at her place." I sighed. "I told her."

He held me as I began to cry again. He must have gathered what happened after that by my most notably negative reaction.

"She's the fool, love," he whispered into my hair. "It's going to be okay, my girl. I promise you it will. Your heart will mend, Ashley, and you'll be so much stronger for it."

"Why do I keep doing this, Dad?" I asked, feeling so drained as I rested my head against his shoulder, the warmth of his neck against my forehead.

"Why do you keep doing what?"

"Falling on my face."

"Because it makes a much better catcher than your ass." He squeezed me playfully. I smiled.

"You live by your heart, love. You always have. You're a passionate woman, Ashley. Come by it pretty darn naturally, too. Unfortunately for someone so passionate, and filled with love, you feel the need to share that love and passion with the world. It makes you a wonderful person, creative, warm and kind, but sadly there are some who will take advantage of that in you. They take what they want, and trip you up with the rest. Thus, landing on your face."

"How do I harden up? I'm so tired of hurting," I whispered.

"Don't ever harden up, love. That tenderness in you is what makes you so special. My special girl."

"Thanks, Daddy." I always seemed to revert to a ten year old when in my father's arms. He kissed my head, and hugged me tight before letting me go. I pulled away, looking at him with my sad, watery eyes. He smiled, reaching up to push my hair out of my face.

"Why don't you go spend some time with your brother and nephews," he suggested, brushing some hair back from my face. I nodded.


The days were busy, reacquainting myself with a brother who had not been in my life consistently for fifteen years. Brian and I had never been exactly close, but it was great to see him, and I thought Melanie was one of the most beautiful, sweetest people I'd ever met.

Then there were the boys.

Six years old and smart as a whip. They had the dark hair of their father and the eyes of my mother and I. Basically they looked like they could be my twins.

Do you have any idea how tiring it is to be a human jungle gym for two very determined six year olds? They had me sleeping like a baby by nine o'clock. The greatest thing about all their attention was I didn't have time to think.

Now, Monday night, and the eve of my return to New York, I laid in bed with nothing but thoughts running through my head. I actually felt a bit sick to my stomach when I thought of returning. I had kept my phone off during my entire trip, but had called Aiden. He asked few questions, just enough to fill in the blanks of my note. I was happy as he promised a good dinner at Harpy's when I got back.

What about Spencer? I had to stay strong, and learn to un-shape my life around her. I had done it for the past thirteen years, I could do it again. In all my thirty years, the dancer had only been part of about seven months. Yeah, I could learn to live without her.


It had been wonderful to see Aiden's big welcoming smile and hug at the baggage claim. He had squeezed enthusiastically, lifting me off my feet. After I was able to breathe again, I grinned at him.

"Hey, boy. How are you?"

"I'm fantastic, of course," he said, taking one of my bags from me. "The apartment was so quiet and peaceful." He sighed in contentment. I smacked him in the arm.

"Shit, you'd be lost without me."

"Yeah, basically."

I was quiet as we made our way through the airport, heading toward the parking area where Aiden had parked the car he'd borrowed from his co-worker, just for this trip.

"It was cold. Rained with those lovely little ice daggers," he said, scrunching his face. I chuckled.

"Oh, darn. So bummed I missed that." I shivered as the cold air hit me. I was always so amazed at the differences between the dry cold of Colorado and the humid cold of New York.

"Over here, hon." Aiden led us to a black Lincoln Navigator. Opening up the back, we piled my bags inside, then climbed in ourselves, Aiden immediately getting the heat going. "Brr." He rubbed his hands together, then got us moving.

As he drove through the busy traffic, I glanced at him, but quickly turned back to my window. I wanted to know if Spencer had called or come by over the weekend, but knew that if I asked, it would blow my new resolve. I stayed quiet, instead perking to life when Aiden asked me to recount my trip.

"You would not believe how tall those boys are going to be," I said, pushing the apartment door open, hand blindly reaching inside for the light switch. Feeling that it was already clicked on, I grabbed my bag I'd set down to unlock the door, and headed inside.

"Well, duh! Your entire family is filled with mini mountains." Aiden followed me in, setting down my duffel by the end table.

"Yeah, well-" I stopped, frozen in mid-sentence. Rising from the couch across the room was Spencer. She looked at me, her expression tense and nervous.

I looked to my roommate, seeing if he saw what I saw. By the look on his face, not only did he see what I saw, but he had let her in.

My eyes turned to the dancer again, seeing that she'd taken a step forward. Turning, I headed for the door, stopping in front of who I thought was my friend.

"I will never forgive you for this," I hissed, then hurried past him.

"Ashley!" I heard called behind me, but I didn't care. I was in a blind rage as I hurried down the hall, headed toward the elevator. I heard someone running behind me, but only cursed as I punched the down button for a second time. "Ashley, stop, please."

I could feel the muscles in my jaw working as I knew it was Spencer who stood a few feet away. I couldn't look at her, instead my eyes hitting the floor.

"Please, Ashley. Come home with me. We need to talk." I could hear the pleading in her voice, but was doing my level best to ignore it. I glanced at her, and could see the pleading in her eyes, which were red. "Please. I'm begging you." She looked as though she were about to take a step forward, but stopped, unsure. With a loud sigh, I nodded.

Aiden gave us the keys to the Navigator, Spencer making her way through the streets. We both remained absolutely silent during the short ride. I could feel my heart threatening to burst through my chest, my stomach flexing in sympathy.

Parking in the underground garage down the street, I followed Spencer to her building, passing as she held the door to her apartment open for me.

"Hey, boy!" I greeted the huge dog, who's backside looked like it would wag right off. He and I had become great friends, and it took all my strength to not be bowled over by him. Eventually he left me to greet his mom, and follow her to the kitchen for his dinner time.

I looked around the apartment I knew so well. Walking over to the window, I smiled small as I looked down at the plant I'd brought so many weeks ago. It had rooted well, and was already growing. To my surprise the red Christmas ball had been replaced by a pink heart. Well, I guess Valentine's day was around the corner.

Bah humbug.

"Would you like something to drink?" Spencer asked, standing not far behind me. I shook my head, turning to face her. With a small nod of acceptance, she grabbed my hand, which I nearly pulled from her grasp. She seemed to sense this, her grip tightening as she led me to the couch.

I sat down, crossing my one remaining arm across my lap. I felt so vulnerable, and needed all the protection I could get. I had no idea what she had to say, but wanted to throw up.

Spencer held my hand in both of hers now, and she studied them for long moments. Her face was hidden by the golden curtain that fell. I threw thoughts of brushing it all aside out of my mind.

"I want to start by saying that I really missed you these last five days," she said softly, her thumb lightly brushing the back of my hand. I said nothing. This was her show, and I was going to let her run it. Besides, I worried that if I opened my mouth, my earlier wish to throw up would come to fruition. "Ashley," she said, but stopped herself, seeming to think about what she was going to say. "My sexual history started young, and it was filled with demands and obligation. Then my job was filled with demand and obligation."

As Spencer paused, her hands opened mine, turning it palm up. She lightly traced a soft fingertip across my life line.

"As I got older," she continued, her voice even softer. "my body began to be the one that was demanding. I would find someone during the run of a show to satisfy that demand, then move on after the final curtain call." She looked up at me finally. "You didn't give me a chance Wednesday night, Ashley. I was stunned by what you said, that's no secret. But you didn't give me a chance."

I could only stare at her, my heart still beating wildly. I wondered if she could feel the sweat covering my palm. I didn't say anything, waiting breathlessly for her to continue. I needed this torture to end.

"I've only made love once, Ashley." She looked into my eyes, searching. As I looked into hers, I saw it. My eyes fell, the sting of tears fresh, relief and disbelief filling me. She placed her hands on either side of my face, pulling my head gently into her chest. "I love you." She caressed my hair, tenderly running her fingers through it.

My tears were short lived as I got my emotions under control. God, it felt incredible to be held by her. My arms wrapped around her waist, and I scooted back a bit, exhaustion from the emotional turmoil of the past few days catching up with me. I laid my head in her lap, feeling her fingers continuing to run through the dark strands of my hair.

"I love you, too," I said, curling my legs up. She bent over me, hugging me to her.

"Please say it again, Ashley," she whispered.

"I love you." I turned my head so I could look up into her eyes as she looked down at me. "I always have." Her eyes fell closed, a small sigh escaping her lips. When she opened her eyes, I noticed they were a bit too shiny.

"Let's go to bed," she said, caressing the side of my face. "The last few days have been trying for both of us."

I nodded, suddenly wanting nothing more than to hold her all night. I got to my feet, pulling her to hers. Immediately she tucked herself against me. My eyes closed as my arms wrapped around her, holding her tight, safe and loved. I could feel her warm breath against my neck for a moment, then it was gone.

Spencer met my eyes, her hand coming up to rest against my cheek. My eyes closed as she neared, her lips touching mine. It was a soft, promising kiss. Her lips moved against my mouth, tongue lightly playing. We both understood this wasn't about passion, it wasn't the right time. It was about rediscovering each other. I met her kiss, my hands running gentle circles across her back, the backs of my fingers coming up to caress the side of her face and neck.

The kiss broke as softly as it had started. Spencer took my hand in hers, and without a word, we turned out the lights on the way to bed.

Stripping down to t-shirt and underwear, I climbed under the covers, barely able to keep my eyes open. Spencer followed, moving over to me. She lifted my arm, easing her head onto my shoulder, my arm closing around her. She tucked her hand under my side opposite from her and sighed deeply.

"I love you, Ashley," she whispered, followed by a small chuckle. "I've never really said that before."

"How does it feel?" I whispered back, kissing the top of her head.

"Wonderful."

"Good. And I adore you." I squeezed her tighter, grinning like a fool as she snuggled in ever closer.

"Goodnight, Ashley."

"Night, Spencer."

As my heart and breathing began to calm, I felt my world right itself. I'd been a fool to think I could live without Spencer in my life. There was no way. How can you live without your heart?


I know it kind of seems like the ending, but it's not. There is still one chapter to go. Well I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and the last chapter will be up soon.

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