A/N: Hi guys! Here's A CHAPTER! It's with deep regret that I have to say that I lied to you last week, because the things I said would happen in this chapter have been pushed back a bit for reasons. So I'm 1. sorry for lying 2. it's because I'm at the point where I'm writing new material for every chapter and 3. I really only have a vague idea of what's going on anymore.
So here's A CHAPTER!
The next few days weren't very fun.
Sokka seemed to sense that something had happened, because he was acting very strangely around Zuko. Every look he gave him was a 'what's going on? Somethings going on, tell me, I must know' look. Zuko always met these with various glares that shut him down pretty efficiently, but he must have been feeling particularly nosy today because he wouldn't leave Zuko alone.
Zuko was drying dishes in the kitchen when Sokka approached him for the hundredth time that day. He had Toph with him.
"Something's bothering you," he said, very matter of factly.
"Yeah, you are."
Sokka ignored this. "What did Katara say to you the other night?"
Zuko glared at him, but he didn't budge. Toph motioned at him with a 'get out with it already' gesture.
"She didn't say anything," he muttered, turning back to the dishes. Sokka turned to Toph.
"Lying," she exclaimed. Zuko gritted his teeth.
"Sokka." It was unfair, extremely unfair, that Sokka had opted to use Toph's magic feet against him. He tried to give her a grumpy look, to show that he disapproved immensely, but his grumpy looks were never effective on Toph.
"Ooh, he's getting annoyed."
"Can you guys leave it alone?" he said with a fair bit of exasperation. "I think I've made it clear that I don't want to talk about this."
"Lying."
"I'm not lying!"
"Lying."
Zuko just grumbled in frustration while the two looked very smugly at him. "When you're done ganging up on me, I have actual things to do. I'm not wasting my time with this anymore."
"Did you tell her you like her?" Sokka asked. Zuko glared.
"No."
Toph nudged Sokka in the ribs. "Oh good, he's telling the truth now."
"Guys."
"Okay, fine," Sokka relented, holding up his hands as if to say 'I give up.' "You don't want to talk about it, and you don't want to tell her how you feel. But if you're not going to, then..." his face lit up gleefully, "I will!"
"He's telling the truth," Toph added in a smug whisper.
"Sokka," Zuko warned in a dangerous voice as Sokka started to move. "Sokka..."
"KATAAAARA!" he called, and ran.
"SOKKA," bellowed Zuko in turn, tearing after him wildly through the hallways. All Toph did was laugh, but her laugh was drowned out by the sound of the thrumming in Zuko's ears. "YOU GET BACK HERE."
He chased Sokka all the way throughout the house, up and down staircases, in and out of rooms. It was clear that Sokka thought this was the most hilarious thing, but Zuko didn't see it that way. Tapestries were ripped, feet scrambled at floors, and Zuko was pretty sure he knocked at least three people over.
Eventually, he caught a real glimpse of fear in Sokka's eyes, and decided that was suitable enough. So Zuko stopped, panted, and decided to glare at him until he relented. Sokka slowed to a halt, and leaned forward, his hands on his knees.
"Alright, alright," Sokka surrendered, his breath heavy. There was a stupid grin on his face. "No need to incinerate me."
With a start, Zuko realized his hands were on fire. "Damnit," he grumbled, putting the heat out. He was always doing that, much to the annoyance of everyone around him, he was sure. Sokka shrugged it off.
"You know," Sokka told him, leaning up against the wall with an air of nonchalance. "I could talk to her, if you wanted me to. I could be very inconspicuous."
"Yeah, I'm sure."
Zuko wasn't sure.
However, it seemed like Sokka was so eager to do this that he missed out on the sarcasm entirely. His entire face lit up in irrepressible glee.
"Really? I totally will!"
Quickly Zuko shook his head, and repeated a hurried no no no nononono until Sokka stopped grinning. He shrugged.
"Whatever you say," he sighed with a fair bit of disappointment. Zuko grumbled.
"Why are you so eager to set me up with your sister?" he demanded. "I've asked you a hundred times, and you never give me a straight answer."
"Zuko Zuko Zuko," Sokka tutted, clicking his tongue. "Some questions don't need answers. It's part of the mystery."
"The mystery."
"Totally."
"It's about Boiling Rock, isn't it." It wasn't a question. At the statement, Sokka shifted a little and scratched his shoulder.
"What? Are you crazy?" he threw a hand aside, but there was a shifty look in his eyes that Zuko found very suspicious. He was about to call him out on this, when Toph came up behind him.
"Hotpants," she declared. "Katara wants you. In more ways than one," she added, jabbing him in the ribs with a very pointy elbow.
"Ow," complained Zuko, scowling. "And would you cut it out with the wanting thing?You're...you're too young for that."
"That's what you think!" she called after him, but he was already gone. He'd gone to find Katara, because it really didn't matter what way it was she wanted him. If she wanted him, he knew he would be there, pathetically in love as he was. If she wanted him to kneel on the ground so she could stand on his back to reach something, he would do it for her. If she wanted him to brush her hair and talk about her feelings for a change, he would in a heartbeat. If all she wanted was one embrace, that's all he would give her.
Spirits, I'm stupid.
She was in the kitchen.
"I can't light this," she said, standing over some complicated looking device, looking rather frazzled. "Aang says it's supposed to cook food, but he's..." she made a fluttery sort of walking motion with her hand, "off somewhere. It has to be heated somehow."
"Yeah, I don't think I can help you with that," Zuko crossed his arms and frowned at her with a great deal of sarcasm. Katara just looked at him blankly.
"But you're a...firebender."
Would you stop trying to make jokes already. You were not built for humor. "Yeah, that was the...joke, whatever. I can probably get it going."
She gave him that familiar little amused smile, and when he caught it, he found himself just mesmerized by it. The right corner of her lip lifted, causing the slightest crease in her skin. Blue eyes stared at him, gentle, kind. "Zuko?" Her voice was soft. Zuko just nodded, as if he were trying to say yes, I'm here, but then the unavoidable awkwardness started to rise in his throat, and he turned to the appliance before he said something stupid like sorry I was just staring because you...had a bug on your face or you happen to be the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and I'm in love with you so let me kiss you please.
Katara accepted his decision to say nothing, and looked to the appliance herself.
"See, there's coils here," she pointed, "and they have to be heated from here. I tried to find some spark rocks, but I guess you don't have a need for that, huh?" she smirked a little, and he managed to smirk back.
"No, not really." He crouched down and opened the little door. "Just stand back."
She did, and with an exhale and a swift jab, Zuko set a fire in the inner workings of the machine. Katara sighed in relief.
"Thanks," she said, and handed him a spoon. Why is she always doing that? "Can you help me with the rest of dinner?"
"Uh...yeah," he said. "Of course."
"Here," she handed him a bowl full of weird looking squishy things. Disturbed by how much they squished, Zuko wrinkles his nose. Katara didn't notice, and said, "I need you to boil these."
"What...are they?"
"Sea prunes," she told him briskly, and scowled at him when he made a face. "I'm sorry, do they gross you out?"
"They're just a little...weird."
"So are you, but you don't see me making gross faces about it," she said, a haughty but playful tone in her voice. "Just boil them."
"I don't think boiling them will make them look any better."
"Oh, so now you're the expert on sea prunes?"
"I'm just saying, I think they'd be better if you, I don't know, roasted them or something." He cast the bowl of prunes another glance, and regretted it instantly. They were just too squishy. Katara put her hands on her hips and looked at him.
"Why, because roasting things is the Fire Nation's solution to everything?"
"No," he scowled, and paused. "Maybe. But that's not the point, I actually think it would improve them."
Katara didn't seem convinced, so Zuko gritted his teeth and reached for one of the squishy blobs Katara seemed to think was food. He held it up, and shot a fire ball at it very pointedly. With a mild interest masked poorly by scorn, Katara watched. When he was done, he held the result out. It didn't seem as bad, but it still looked pretty gross. In his opinion, it needed about five thousand times more roasting, but he figured not everyone liked their food half burned.
Cautiously she removed the prune from his hand, and brought it to her lips even more slowly.
"It's..." she paused, smelling it.
"It would need salt, or something," he explained hastily. "I'm not a cook, I don't know, I just burn things and think they taste good, so..."
He was cut off by her laugh. "Of course that's how you cook," she smiled, shaking her head. She took a bite, and mulled it over as she chewed. "It's alright. You can roast half of them if you need to..." (she rolled her eyes as she said this), "but I still want you to boil the other half."
Anything you want, I'll do.
"Whatever you say," he mumbled, a little smile flitting over his face. Katara bent some water into a pot, and Zuko dumped a little less than half of the prunes into it. If Katara noticed, she didn't say anything. He knew he could get the water going faster if he just boiled it himself, but when he tried, Katara just swatted him away and told him that wasn't the right way to do it. A little miffed and a little bewildered, he just went back to roasting.
"Do we need a salad?" she asked thoughtfully, tapping her lips with a forefinger.
"Why would we need salad?"
"Because it's healthy," she said, "and Aang likes it. He won't eat the sea prunes."
"Oh, oh-" Zuko held his hands up and took a step back. "Well if Aang doesn't like them, then by all means, we should provide him with an alternative."
She gave him an appraising look.
"I'm letting you burn half of them, that should be good enough for you."
Zuko gave a great show of rolling his eyes, and Katara just laughed a little and jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow.
It wasn't fair.
Even that, that stupid little gesture sent palpitations through his heart, it made every one of his veins shudder. It pained him to have her so close, so familiar. He hated the way she laughed and jabbed him in the ribs, because he just loved it too much. Maybe Katara could sense that his heart was beating just a little too fast, or that his skin was heating just a little too much, because she lingered. She stayed right next to him, where her scent was caught in Zuko's nose and her movements couldn't be seen so much as felt.
Her lips twisted to the side then, in a wry sort of way. Zuko thought of it as an odd way of saying something like look at us. Two people, held apart by nothing but air.
Nothing but air.
"The boiling is probably done," he said, his voice a little gruff, as if he had to rip it from the very depths of himself. "Boiling the prunes."
"The boiling is done boiling the prunes?" she repeated back at him, amused.
"You know what I meant."
Upon inspection, Katara decided that the prunes were, in fact done, and she held out her now completed salad.
"Does this look good to you?"
"It looks like salad."
"You know what I meant," Katara repeated at him, waving the bowl under his nose. "Does it look good?"
"Yeah, it's fine," he said, pushing it back towards her. "Good job on the...salad."
He considered, for a moment, the idea of him and Katara working in the kitchen together, as they'd been doing. He considered the idea of them doing this every night, how easy it was. Whenever he said something stupid, she just sort of smiled at him in a you're hopeless kind of way. Her nose would scrunch at him, and it really was one of the cutest things she did.
He imagined Mai, standing in the corner, her arms crossed stiffly, her eyes glued to something in the distance. He would say something stupid, and Mai would just shake her head at him, as if she were wondering how she could have possibly ended up with someone as stupid as him. Of course, he knew Mai was complicated, and he was complicated, and hell, Katara was complicated, but Katara was complicated in ways that were far easier to understand.
Katara must have sensed he was thinking about her again, because she stiffened a little and gave him a look.
"Where is she?" she asked in a low voice. "Mai?"
"Mai?" Zuko tried to sound offhanded. "She's...she's in the Boiling Rock. Where your dad was," he added as clarification. "Azula had her kept there, with Ty Lee."
"Yeah," Katara nodded slowly. "I'm sorry."
"Me too," he said, the guilt coming back. "I should have gone back for her, huh?"
"You did what you had to do," she told him. "It wasn't worth the risk."
"Sokka thought Suki was worth the risk."
Katara gave him a look of sympathy. "Don't beat yourself up about it. If Sokka recounted the story accurately, which I'm not entirely sure he did, then you did everything you could."
"Maybe." Zuko paused. "She was always...tricky."
"She's beautiful," Katara said in a small, almost sad voice. Zuko looked at her.
"Yeah," he said quietly. "Yeah."
There was a bit of an awkward silence, in which Zuko scratched at the back of his neck and stared at a spot on the floor. Yeah, Mai was beautiful, but she was also cold to the point of unreason. She listened to him, but she also complained about it. She was always bored, always quiet, never quite happy. Never quite happy himself, Zuko just didn't need that.
He could have told Katara all of that, but he just stared at the floor.
After a while, she spoke, still holding the salad in her hands. "Can I tell you something?"
His voice was rough. "Of course."
She shifted uneasily, her knuckles white on the handles of the bowl. "I know Aang likes me," she said to him, not meeting his eyes. "And I know he expects me to be with him. But what if I don't think that's right?" she raised her eyes to Zuko's. "What if...what if I just don't like him?"
His breath lodged in his throat, Zuko tried to speak as clearly as possible. "It's not about what he wants. It's about what you want."
She nodded, her lips twisting. "He's a great kid."
"He's a great kid," Zuko added. "But..."
A bit annoying.
Katara looked at him carefully. "Can I tell you something else?"
A breath. "Yeah."
"I don't think you should be with Mai either, just because you feel like you should."
The breath inside him stammered, stuck, and fizzled out completely. Simply breathless he looked back at her, unable to grasp her words completely.
"I know," was all he said before he looked back down at the ground. Vaguely he felt it, fingertips brushing his. He felt desperation in there somewhere, but he didn't know who it was coming from, him or Katara. Maybe it was both.
There was a beat.
"The salad looks good," he said, pointing to it.
It was like a physical reaction, the way Katara pulled herself together. The way she looked down, looked up at him, straightened her back and drew her face before putting on a smile, it was all there. The look of having done that a hundred, if not a thousand times; the gesture of I'm okay.
He was well practiced at it.
"Good," Katara put it on the table. "If you just put out dishes, we should be all set for dinner."
She called for the rest of the group. As predicted by everyone, Sokka came first, bashing through the doorway.
"Meat?" he asked, his eyes wide.
"Sea prunes," Katara clarified. "Boiled!"
"And roasted," Zuko added quickly. "The roasted ones are better."
Sokka eyed them both suspiciously, but then the suspicious look turned into a sly grin.
"Were you two having a little cooking battle?" he asked as Suki and Toph came up behind them. "That's very cute."
"Sokka," Katara said in an admonishing tone, "they're just sea prunes prepared two different ways, I'm sure they're both equally good." she looked at Zuko out of the corner of her eye, and then looked back at Sokka. "Although the boiled ones are better."
"I think we'll let Sokka decide that," Zuko said with a scowl. "Try one."
He pushed the bowl of roasted prunes towards him, but Katara pushed the bowl of boiled ones closer. Zuko grumbled and pushed his closer.
"Okay, okay, calm down," Sokka sat down and picked up his chopsticks. "I'm sure they're both good. I'm mean...it's food."
"What is it?" Toph asked, ignoring her manners (Toph's natural attitude for her manners was one of disdain). "It seems slimy, although I guess I can't really tell."
Zuko started to say the roasted ones aren't slimy, but Katara cut him off by jabbing him in the ribs again.
"They look great," Suki beamed, but it was a lie (albeit a very well disguised one).
Aang came in, a very excited expression on his face, but this was deflated immediately upon the sight of sea prunes on the table.
"Is that it?"
"I made a salad," Katara sat down and showed him. He brightened a bit, and sat down next to her.
"You're the best at making salad," he said, before leaning over to peer into the bowl of roasted prunes. "Those ones don't look so bad!"
Katara scowled.
After a few minutes of silence and chewing, Sokka started to speak. Zuko was vaguely disappointed that what he had to say didn't have anything to do with the quality of either kind of prune.
"So I think we really need to start getting down to the wire on this whole 'fighting the Fire Lord thing,"" he said, his mouth full of food. "And we're running out of supplies."
"We don't have much money left," Katara said, before her eyes drifted over to Zuko.
"What?"
"I mean...this is your house," she ventured carefully. "I'm assuming you're, you know...rich, right?"
Zuko turned red.
"I guess, yeah," he muttered. "But I highly doubt my dad keeps all his money in his beach house. And if he did, I don't know where it would even be."
"That's okay, I suppose it's not fair for us to you know...ask you for money," she said a little sheepishly.
"What, I'm sure he doesn't care!" Sokka said loudly. "Spend all the Fire Lord's money, that's a great way to drain the Fire Nation's resources!"
"Believe me, I'd help if I could," Zuko put in, frowning at Sokka a bit, "but I just don't think there's any money here."
"Yeah, I already looked," Toph said casually, her feet on the table.
Surprised, Zuko turned to look at her. "Isn't your family the richest in the Earth Kingdom? You have money."
"Not with me!"
"No one is using anyone's money," interrupted Katara, who looked like she regretted bringing it up in the first place. "Forget I said anything."
There was a pause.
"But we still need stuff," said Sokka, practical as always. "Where are we going to get it?"
Zuko looked at him, and then to Aang, who usually had some sort of idea during situations like this. Instead he just shrugged, a piece of lettuce sticking out of his mouth.
"Usually when we need stuff, I just play the Avatar card. But for some reason, I don't think that'll work so well in the Fire Nation."
"Maybe..." Zuko started to formulate an idea that involved a little sneaking around and stealing, but he stopped himself. Those days are over. I'm not that person anymore.
But they were running out of food, and it seemed like there was no other option.
"I'll figure something out," he said, pushed his plate away, and stood up. This caused a few suspicious glares, but he was so used to that by now, he figured he would have been more weirded it out if no one had given him a suspicious look.
Besides, no one had to find out.
Silently he slipped into his room, knowing it would be seconds before Katara came in and started asking him what was going on. There was no time for deliberation, if he was going to do it, he had to go do it now.
He was halfway into his black pants when Katara came barging in.
With a strangled cry he fell over at the sudden noise, his legs tangled in fabric. She covered her eyes and blushed furiously while he grappled awkwardly with his pants.
"Katara, what are you doing?" he asked in a rush, scrambling back to his feet.
"I could ask you the same," she said, regaining her composure and raising an eyebrow at him. "Off for a little walk?"
"These are...pajamas."
"No they're not," she said, "you sleep in your clothes, I've seen you."
"That's only because...you've seen me? When have you seen me?"
"I'm just saying," she said quickly, briefly turning red again. Her arms crossed. "I know what you're planning to do, and I don't think it's a good idea."
"Do you want to go hungry?"
"No, I just..." she paused, and gave him that weird sad look he still hadn't quite figured out yet. "It just seems like a regression to me."
"I'm not regressing, I'm keeping everyone from starving. And you heard Sokka, it wouldn't hurt to drain the Fire Nation's resources a little."
"Literally everything Sokka says is sarcastic," she stressed, "and shouldn't be taken seriously. I thought you put this sort of thing behind you!"
"I did," he said stiffly. "But sometimes extreme measures have to be taken."
But she didn't seem so sure. She shifted uncomfortably in Zuko's doorway, her fingers scratching at her arm. Katara looked down at the floor, her shoulders slumped.
"It just seems like, you know...the old Zuko. Not you."
Her voice was small, and it nearly shattered his heart into a million pieces, but he held his ground.
"I'm not changing. Not again." Katara bit her lip. "But I'm getting food for us. You know we need it."
Still not convinced, Katara looked at him with worried eyes. "And what if someone catches you?"
He gave her a small smile. "No one ever does."
There was a silence as she chewed everything over. With bated breath Zuko waited, needing to hear her permission.
But she ended up giving him a lot more than that.
"Then I'm coming with you," she said firmly. "And that is not," she pointed at him, "up for debate."
Confused, Zuko found it hard to formulate the words he wanted. "But I thought you didn't..."
"It's just better if I come," she said, and disappeared. Dumbstruck, there was little Zuko could do but stand there and gape and the doorway until she came back. And when she did, he felt his heart burn though his feet and all the way down to what he was sure was the very core of the earth itself.
She was beautiful in blue, and Zuko had always found her to be stunning in red, but there was just something about that all black ensemble that made his head spin. The fabric clung to her legs, her hips, her breasts, and he found himself staring completely by accident.
"Zuko?" she snapped in his face to bring his attention back to her face. "Are we going, or are we just going to stand here and...stare at each other?"
Zuko knew he'd be perfectly happy with the second option, but he agreed that they should leave anyway.
With the briefest exchange of glances, the two of them slipped out of the window and into the night.
A/N: Thanks for reading! Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews, I really like knowing what your opinions on this are! Someone pointed out that there isn't much in the way of plot (hahahaha oops) and that's because 1. I'm not super great at plot 2. characters has always been more important than plot for me 3. I'm just trying to fill in the space while they're at Ember Island, so I don't think too much is happening? But I am trying my very hardest to get some plot up in here besides the 'Zuko has feelings' plot. If there's anything you guys would like to see in particular, you can let me know and I'll try my darndest to make it happen. I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS about Zuko's feelings (come follow me on tumblr so we can talk about Zuko's feelings)
In the NEXT CHAPTER, Zuko and Katara go on a mission of justified thievery, there are antics, and Zuko's feelings nearly push him to the limit.
maybe I should just rename this fic 'Zuko's feelings' because I swear I just said that a hundred times (edit: kidding kidding kidding that would be a silly name)
