Disclaimers: I do not own Harry Potter, or any unicorns. I have never shopped for wands in the second hand bin at Ollivanders either. Sadly, regrettably, I do own a computer attached to the outside world so please understand that while I am not intentionally torturing you, I am not entirely sane! *insert evil Dark Lord Laugh*
And a much shorter chapter than usual because the cliffhanger was just so darn good!
Chapter 7: Lemon Drop, my boy?
Severus managed to come through the fire in a matter of minutes. Lucius was more than pleased to have him show up. Having a discussion on one's sex life with a person younger than your own son was rather disconcerting. Trainee Medi-wizard Potter was being very professional but...it just didn't help with the fact that the wizard in question was such a very young gay virgin... Oh, Merlin, no need to dwell on the technicalities.
Severus sat down in the overstuffed naugahyde chair that Lucius used to reserve for the Dark Wanker and immediately pulled Harry off the arm of it and onto his lap. Harry's only response to that action was to push his glasses back up his nose and continue reading the file he had been handed.
Lucius watched the two of them interact and decided that they would make a lovely pair. Rather like beauty and the beast, or, Dracula and his wife. Only problem with that visual was if he remembered the movie Love at first Bite the lady had been blonde. No problem really...he could always finance a new Dracula movie. He could see it now featured as a gay cult classic: Dracula and his Bitch.
Harry read the file through thoroughly, went back and checked a few facts, messed up his messy hair as he thought about Lucius's problem for a minute then asked Severus, "Did you remember to ask Headmaster Dumbledore for a tin of lemon drops for me?"
Severus gave him a quick peck on the cheek before answering, "Yes. Let me help you up and I will get them for you." He settled for a quick caress of the hand across Harry's bottom as the boy stood up.
Lucius Malfoy's attention was caught when Harry smiled and shook the can lightly. "Albus swears by these you know. He says they can cure any ailments."
His own eyes lit up. "What is in the can?"
Severus, knowing Malfoy's penchant for tarts (it's not like Narcissa wasn't the first clue!) decided to torture him a bit. "Albus sent Harry a tin of lemon drops."
Lucius pouted. He missed seeing Sev grin and shake his head 'no' at Harry when the boy opened his mouth. When he finished counting to one hundred in his head he looked up and saw Harry setting the unopened tin down beside a box of potions Severus had brought him.
Figuring that he would not get a piece of candy if he didn't beg, he decided to do the guilt trip routine. He blinked a time or two to make his eyes shiny then in his best little-boy voice he whined, "You know, the whole seven years I was at Hogwarts, Dumbledore never once offered me a lemon drop."
Severus grinned behind his hand so that only Harry would see. Harry affected a shocked tone. "You have got to be joking. You must be the only person to ever graduate from Hogwarts without the honor of being invited to partake of the lemon drop tin! That is just appalling, Sir!"
Lucius nodded his head in agreement. "Yes. Yes. Quite true. That feeling of complete dejection was probably what led me to take the Dark Mark. It is things like that that can utterly destroy ones psyche you know."
Severus strode over to the lemon tin. He picked it up and then cleared his throat the same way Dumbledore does just before making an important announcement. Extending the lemon tin toward Lucius he croaked, "Lemon drop, my boy?"
Lucius, caught up in his fantasy...and seeing the coveted tin so close, said, "Yes, please, Headmaster, Sir."
The performance made Harry blink twice. That sounded just like Dumbledore and Draco. He watched as Lucius rolled the lemon drop around in his mouth then caught it in his perfect white teeth and crunched it.
Lucius sat there happily crunching until the taste hit. His eyes flew open and he shuddered sensuously before turning back to the magic tin and begging, "May I please have another lemon drop?" He was actually licking his lips and swallowing convulsively at this point as he eyed the coveted tin.
Severus, still in the spirit of the game, extended the tin and said, "Would you care for another sweet, Mr. Malfoy?" He shook his head in wry amusement as the other man grabbed the tin and hastily shoved a sweet in his mouth before depositing the rest of the tin in one of the cursed drawers of his desk.
Harry blinked and shoved his glasses back up on his nose. "Would you like to the whole tin, Mr. Malfoy?"
Lucius, happy that his plan had worked, nodded to indicate a positive response.
Severus watched him closely over the next few minutes and noticed that Lucius's complexion was becoming rather 'flushed'. His temperature seemed to be rising slightly and he was fidgeting. "Are you having an adverse reaction to those lemon drops you ate?" He finally asked.
Lucius fidgeted some more and tried to move his hands so that the other two would not notice that his robes seemed to be slightly tented in the area of his lap. "I am fine."
"Are you sure? You look rather agitated to me." Harry looked at him closely.
"NO! Really, I am fine." Lucius's voice was a bit high.
This time both men began to seriously observe him. Severus couldn't hide his smirk as he stated the obvious. "You are sexually aroused aren't you?"
Lucius shot him a wide-eyed look. "Severus! That was just totally impolite."
Harry gave him a few minutes to settle down but he was still acting peculiar. "Right then. Stand up and let's have a look at you." He was in full medi-wizard mode and only intended to give his patient a heath check.
Lucius, trapped in a room with two gay men whom he assumed wanted to see 'little Malfoy' forgot all his wizard training and freaked out. Before Harry could explain what he wanted to do to him, Lucius ran out the door screaming for Narcissa to save him.
Harry and Severus gave each other confused looks before exiting the door in pursuit of the screaming, demented blond. They finally located the room he was in by the blast of magic that swirled around the doorjamb and down the hall.
Lucius had invoked the magic of the manor to keep him safe from Harry's checkup. He ran straight to Narcissa and grabbed her up. "Cissy, save me from Potter. He is trying to look under my robes."
"WHY?" She wasn't exactly pleased about something.
Right around the same time that Lucius decided that he made a mistake in coming to his wife for protection, said wife discovered that 'little Malfoy' was awake. He dropped her back on the bed where she had been reclining and backed away. "Um...I..I..I'll just ggg..go on back to the library now."
The two men outside the door exchanged grins as they heard Lucius's voice begin to rise. He seemed to be under a considerable amount of stress as he stared at the sight of the lecherous creature now stalking him. They had no way of knowing that she was in full veela mode, but, they had seen other veela hunting. So it was safe to assume that Lucius was in good hands...
They were just getting ready to head back to the library to get their stuff when they heard the unmistakable sound of a body hitting the door. Then they heard cloth ripping as a man screamed, "NO...NO...OH!...YESssss..." The Dark Guy would have been proud of that hiss. They gave each other a high five and set off down the corridor in a companionable silence.
Draco sat in his father's chair reading a document when the two of them entered. Severus recognized the parchment as the Potter/Malfoy engagement contract. He rubbed his fingers across the bridge of his nose then walked forward to face Draco.
"When precisely were you going to tell me about this?" The younger blond had tears glistening in his eyes and his voice shook with emotion. "What gives you the right to brandish this document in front of my father and me now?"
Harry rushed forward and pulled Draco up from the chair. "Oh, Draco. Don't. Shush..."
The taller boy looked down, his tearful grey eyes meeting the blindingly sincere green of his Godfather's fiancé. "What am I supposed to do, Harry? That stupid contract says either I marry you if you ask or I get to become a muggle."
A/N : Is this the part where I say, "IF you don't give me x number of reviews I won't post the next chapter?" Since the number x can be assigned to any number, and I know reviews are expensive, and since the only people who read my stuff are already reviewing; don't worry, my darlings, Draco will be back tomorrow as a happy man!
