Phazon: Well, this certainly took a long time to write, but it's finally done. Thank you all for your positive feedback and how much you enjoyed the story. Hopefully, you won't be disappointed with this chapter, but it's, for the most part, also borrowed from the 1981 hit Porky's. There are some original pieces, but those who have seen the movie will know some of this stuff. Others, get ready for some excitement.
Disclaimer: Of course I do not own the Naruto characters. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto and him only. All I own is this fan fiction, and that's it, so don't sue!
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Peeping Shinobi
The girls' shower room was well built and well guarded. Why? Anko took it upon herself to personally kill any man who dared to set his eyes upon any kunoichi. She'd missed the several glory holes, though.
Squeak was the sound of several pipes being lifted to reveal well carved holes. Behind those holes were the eyes of Shikamaru, Neji, Kiba, Lee, and Sasuke. Shino decided to stand watch, as anyone could find them if they looked hard enough. There was just one problem.
"Where the hell is Naruto?" Sasuke piped up.
His eyes went back to the glory hole when he heard footsteps. He was ready to get out his jimmy at the sight of a female shinobi taking a wash when suddenly saw Naruto step into the shower area.
"All right, no one's here yet!" Naruto exclaimed.
"NARUTO, what the hell are you doing here?!" Shikamaru exclaimed.
Naruto laughed. "You guys are pathetic; you need a better way of seeing the female anatomy up close, and I'll show you how."
Then, Naruto formed a familiar hand seal as the eyes of the males went as wide as dinner plates when they realized what Naruto was about to do.
"No, no, NARUTO DON'T!"
"HENGE!"
A loud poof and a gush of air came from the shower room as the guys realized that Naruto had transformed into a towel. All he had to do now was wait, but he didn't have to wait long upon hearing footsteps.
In came Hinata, Tenten, Sakura, Ino, and a few other kunoichi among them…only something was different: they were naked.
"Sakura," Tenten called as she eyed Sakura's ample breasts, "you've been eating your vitamins, haven't you?"
"Yep, it's all thanks to the stuff Tsunade's been giving me for enhanced breasts."
"God, it's the damn mother load," Shikamaru whispered.
"Yeah…" another one of them said, "check out that Hyuuga girl right there; she's got the perfect package on her. She's got growing breasts, her bush isn't too thick, so I wouldn't have any trouble maneuvering through it, and would you check out that ass on top of those fine legs of hers? It's like she's got two asses; a bigger ass on top of her regular ass. I wonder if she likes rimming."
The rest of the males' mouths hung agape upon hearing this revelation that had to come from the effects of the drug. I mean, he couldn't have meant that from the heart…right? RIGHT?
Shikamaru was the first to speak. "Neji, that's disgusting!"
Neji waved his hand at Shikamaru. "Oh, don't tell me you wouldn't tap that."
"I'd hit it."
The boys would've screamed when they realized Jiraiya was peeping as well, but they would've been discovered, so they held their yells in.
"You're that pervert sage; what are you doing he--"
"Research," Jiraiya said quickly. He was hoping he could get a junior Icha Icha series since Naruto became fond of it.
Ino turned on the showers and was surprised when she was doused by freezing water.
"Damn, it's cold." She then spotted the towel that was actually Naruto in disguise and seized it.
"Damn it," Naruto thought, "wrong kunoichi."
Tenten casually let the water fall down her neck and rubbed it over her breasts ever so slowly.
Sakura gasped. "Tenten, you do that too? And here I thought I was the only one."
"Don't you just love that erotic thrill you get from rubbing your breasts with the soap until they get all hard and pointy? Huh, tell me?"
All eyes were on Hinata, who was sprawled on the marble floor while the water rained down over her tender body.
"Hinata?"
"I'm fine," she said, "just getting adjusted first."
When Ino finally returned, sans the towel, everyone gasped at her lower features.
"GAH," Sakura exclaimed, "Ino-pig, get a fucking razor or something! It's the Amazon rain forest down there."
"Pah," Ino replied as she showed her bush off, "jealous, are you forehead-girl?"
Sakura and Ino went to the floor fighting as the males enjoyed the spectacle of two kunoichi fighting…in the nude.
Sasuke, the supposed strong silent type, just climaxed when he saw Sakura and Ino holding each other by the breasts, trying to give each other a purple nurple until one of them gave in.
Kiba's eyes widened when he saw Ayame step in and begin washing herself.
"She could use a good razor to the bush, too," he said.
The only one who could complain at this point was Lee, whose vision was blocked by the fattest kunoichi that was in his class when he was a genin: Suzuti Raraka, otherwise known as 'Kunoichi Fatty Fat Fat Fat' by other teams when Team Gai was in the academy. She was useful as a target, but now, she served the purpose of blocking Lee from viewing naked shinobi.
"You gals ever practice fondling and kissing each other?" Sakura asked.
"What for?" Tenten asked, mildly interested. Amazing that a sex drug would make even the most focused kunoichi go topsy turvy.
"Tsunade-sama told me that in the world, us kunoichi are more susceptible to abuse by male shinobi, and she had Shizune simulate the different ways a man would feel up against a female shinobi."
Jiraiya was running out of paper as he furiously scribbled down notes upon hearing this.
Sakura approached Hinata's feet and began working her way up. Hinata felt a shiver when Sakura's fingers got close to her midsection, but Sakura slowly inched her way to Hinata's breasts.
"She said," Sakura continued, "that the breasts were one of the most vulnerable spots, so a guy would just fondle slower and slower…and slower…"
Sakura realized Ino's hand was on her ass.
"You mean something like this?"
"Gentlemen," Kiba whispered as he unzipped his pants, "prepare your pieces for Operation Kunoichi Lesbian-like Rub, Grope, and Feel Up on each other. Well…everyone except for Sasuke since he couldn't hold his in long enough."
The kunoichi began groping one another in pure ecstasy that equated to satisfaction for the men…except for Lee.
"Screw it," he said as he tried moving over to the peephole where Sasuke was, but the Uchiha shoved Lee back.
"To hell with that."
Lee whined. "But you lost yours and I'm missing the youthful sexual experience!"
"Would you shut the hell up and go back to your own spot?" Shikamaru whispered.
Pouting, Lee scooted back to his spot and desperately tried anything that'd help him get a better view, but Raraka wasn't moving at all. This kept up and Lee grew tired of seeing the other guys with these giddy looks on their faces. Finally, he got fed up.
"IF YOU DO NOT MOVE YOUR GIGANTIC ASS OUT OF THE WAY, I WILL UNLOCK THE FIVE CHAKRA GATES AND LAY WASTE TO YOUR ASS!!"
Once again, there was a tense moment where everyone shut up…the spotlight was on Lee as the guys glared at him.
The showers were turned off as Raraka ran off, grabbing the towel (Naruto) in the process.
"No…NO, not a fatass!"
Hinata stood on her feet and formed a few too familiar signs.
"No…" Shikamaru said, "guys, get ready to run!"
"Too late!" Kiba yelled.
"Byakugan!"
Hinata immediately saw through the marble walls and was shocked to see Neji and some others back there with their hands in…compromising places.
"Neji-san, Kiba-kun, Shino-kun, Lee-san, Shikamaru-kun…Sasuke-kun--"
Sakura and Ino's ears perked upon hearing that. "SASUKE-KUN?!" They said simultaneously. "HE'S ON THE OTHER SIDE?"
"Neeeeeeeji-san…" Tenten whispered through the hole she assumed Neji was behind, "I've got a present for you when we get back to your place."
On the other side, Neji was blushing red and his left hand was glowing with chakra. Kami, he wanted to break down this wall and make hard love to Tenten, but then he'd be caught with his manhood poking out…that was a bad thing how?
"Hey, Sasuke-kun, if Lee really is back there, tell him that he's never gonna get any of this any time soon," Sakura said as she adjusted her breasts to tease the taijutsu shinobi.
Lee was brimming with anger as chakra began leaking out of his body. He jumped in the air, ready to bust down the wall with a kick.
He geared up and yelled at the top of his lungs. "Konoha Senpuu--"
Only to forget that the space they were in wasn't too high and thus, hit the wall and landed on the ground. Of course, having trained under Gai, it caused little pain, but still hurt like hell.
Sasuke decided to make the first move and stick his tongue through one of the glory holes to see the reaction.
Shikamaru shook his head and slapped his knee. "Sasuke…what the hell?"
Jiraiya chuckled. "The kid's got more talent than I thought."
Sakura tiptoed over to the spot where Sasuke's tongue was sticking out and decided to tease him. Suddenly, the Uchiha could feel the nice, plump feel of a breast on his tongue.
"Oh, the hell with this," Sasuke said as he stood as much as he could, trying to pull down his shorts with difficulty because of the…climax. When he got them down, he stuck his manhood through the hole and Sakura was definitely shocked.
Damn…damn good. Inner Sakura said.
Tenten shrugged. "Hmm…so that's what Sasuke's penis looks like."
Ayame had seen that before, but where and an even more important question…why?
The fun came to an end immediately. The shower room door suddenly swung open and in stepped Anko, a kunai in each hand. She was confused at what the women were staring at and had them leave.
"Uh-oh…" Shikamaru uttered upon seeing the menacing Anko.
Of course Sasuke couldn't see anything in his position. "Wh-what's going on?"
Lee backed up. "Sasuke-kun--"
But Neji saw this as an opportunity for some fun. He looked to Lee, who, from seeing that look on Neji's face, shut up immediately.
"Hang on, Uchiha. Haruno is coming for yours with her mouth wide open."
Sasuke knew it. Of course Sakura would try and go for it from the beginning.
Anko cautiously stepped onto the marble floor, trying to find the disturbance.
"Hello," Sasuke said in a chipmunk voice that others would believe came from his manhood, "I'm the sole survivor of the Uchiha clan and I wish to plant my seed inside of your precious womb so we can create an even more powerful clan. Please, let me travel through your field."
"Oh, yeah," Kiba said, "she really wants this."
Finally, Anko's eyes found Sasuke's pride sticking outside one of the holes. She bent her knees and began charging forward.
"Aaahhhhhhhhhhh--"
Kiba grew anxious. "Here she comes."
Anko's yell grew louder…and louder…
"She's almost there!"
Suddenly, Sasuke realized that Sakura's voice wasn't that menacing. However, he couldn't think anymore when he suddenly felt himself being pulled forward by another source.
"SHE'S GOT HIM!" Kiba exclaimed.
"You little Uchiha bastard, I've got you now, haven't I?" Anko growled as she twisted Sasuke's manhood. "You're going to the Hokage's office this instant!"
All of the males retreated, but Shino gave Sasuke one final piece of advice.
"Don't let her try to cut it off."
Sasuke squirmed, wiggled, turned, tried anything he could to escape the death grip of Anko, but the torturer wasn't to let go. She put her foot upon the wall for leverage, only causing Sasuke even more pain.
"You…fucking…pervert, I'll show you a thing or two about peeping!"
Instantly, Sasuke started forming hand seals and lightning emerged in his right hand. This was about the only way out…he'd have to harm the most dangerous seductress he'd come across. Pulling his arm back, Sasuke aimed towards the wall…thrust forward…and…
"CHIDORI!"
Anko was blown back by the force when the wall was blown apart by Chidori. She'd lost her grip and the Uchiha in the process, but she saw the shaft where he and probably the other boys escaped.
"Oh…this is far from over, you little bastard."
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Cut to the Hokage's office where Tsunade sits at her desk, slightly tipsy. Shizune was at her side. Anko sits before her pleading her case. In the background to their side are the giggling Kakashi, Iruka, and Asuma.
"Now…Tsunade-sama, I know this seems strange, but I know this is the only way to catch that perverted boy. That penis--"
Kakashi covered his mask even harder to conceal his laughter after hearing Anko say "penis."
"…had three black dots on it, just like the Sharingan does. I'd recognize those dots anywhere." Anko took a brief minute to compose herself. "In spite of the laughing idiots over there, this is a very serious matter that needs to be attended to for the same of the kunoichi. I know that everyone in this room knows who this perpetrator is; he's a future Jiraiya in the making with his perverted little--"
"Anko," Tsunade cut her off, "calm down here." However, the Hokage couldn't help but find the situation a bit humorous. She didn't show it on her face, though.
"Well…just know that I've got that little creep and I'm not letting him slip through my fingers."
Kakashi, Iruka, and Asuma found it hard to contain themselves. Shizune's mouth kept twitching until it turned into a full blown smile.
"All I need is that you gather Uchiha Sasuke and any other genin you see fit for the situation…as well as Jiraiya. This way, we can…end the menace because it is a dangerous menace."
Tsunade simply stared, bewildered at the information revealed to her.
After an awkward silence, Anko began talking again.
"Well…what the fuck are you gonna do about this?!"
Kakashi and Iruka tried holding their breath to keep from laughing, as did Asuma and Shizune, but it was useless. It was obvious now that this whole thing was funny to them. Their laughter came out audible and clear…Kakashi holding onto a chair to keep from collapsing.
"Five…genin males…in the buck nude? A line up so you can identify the boy's…passion pole?"
A rhetorical question mark appeared above Anko's head. "Passion pole?"
"MORE LIKE HIS FUR-SEEKING KUNOICHI HEAT MISSILE!!!" Shizune bellowed as she broke down in laughter.
"Please," Tsunade continued, "can we just call it a cunt pounder?"
"YOU SAID PASSION POLE!!" Anko yelled accusingly.
"Whatever," Tsunade muttered, "it's still attached to the boy. Besides, penis is so…scientific and seems more personal."
"We'll put hoods over their heads so they won't be identified," Anko suggested.
If Asuma had been smoking a cigarette at the time, he'd have choked on it and died by now…but he didn't, so he wouldn't. He was pounding on the carpet, gasping for breath, while Kakashi wanted to glue his hand to his mask just so no one could hear him laughing like a fucking idiot…again.
Anko grabbed Tsunade's hands. "Hokage-sama, we have to do this…as distasteful and deplorable as it is. I know it's the Uchiha because that…," Anko sighed and rolled her eyes as she tried to come up with another sexual term for penis so she wouldn't be outdone, "rumple foreskin…"
Kakashi and Shizune were on the ground in tears.
"…had three black marks on it, and those marks are the key to this entire thing."
"Anko…do you realize the complexity of your request?" Tsunade asked, as if there wasn't an obvious answer to the question. "I could apprehend the genin myself, but do you know how embarrassed the Hidden Leaf village would be if the other villages knew that I gave you the permission to have a lineup in order to examine the boy's cervix slammer…for three black marks that bare resemblance to that of the Sharingan? For the love of God, Orochimaru wouldn't even try to crush Konoha anymore; he'd be too busy rubbing this in my face."
Anko withheld her anger and put her right leg across her left. "Now…Tsunade-sama--"
"Tsunade-sama?"
Anko and Tsunade looked towards the floor and saw Shizune rise to her feet, tears streaming down her face as she had this giddy little grin on her face. She could barely talk due to laughing so hard.
"I've got a plan that'll make this all go smoother."
The other two women listened carefully.
"We get the ANBU…and we ask them for their most talented sketch artist--"
Shizune couldn't hold the laughter in anymore as she fell alongside Kakashi, who was desperately trying to get up. Iruka, however, beat him to it.
"I know, I know…Anko here can give a detailed description of what it looked like!!"
Iruka went down as well…Asuma taking his place.
"WE CAN PUT UP POSTERS AROUND THE WHOLE DAMN LEAF VILLAGE!!!"
Tsunade could feel a smile begging to come across her face, but she dared not let it show.
"Imagine the sign," Asuma weakly said to the red faced Kakashi, "you'd be like, 'Hey…uh…is thisMY DICK…heh-heh!' And it'd say, 'Have you seen this Sharingan longfellow? Report it immediately to Mitarashi Anko!'"
Finally, Kakashi felt he could hold his laughter in for about…five seconds…it'd be enough time to say something, at least.
"Don't attempt to apprehend the Sharingan Schlong, as it will hypnotize you if you stare at the dots long enough!"
Shizune didn't even notice when Iruka tripped over and landed in her breasts; she was still laughing her head off and was certain she'd choke if she didn't stop soon. Kakashi was back on the floor, but he raised his hand to make his final point.
"It was last seen…hanging out wide for all the ladies to see…in the kunoichi shower room at the KONOHA SHINOBI ACADEMY!!!"
That was it; Tsunade couldn't take it anymore and she broke down laughing just like the others. Anko took it upon herself to leave in a huff, but the others couldn't care less. The combined laughter of Kakashi, Iruka, Asuma, Shizune, and Tsunade could be heard throughout Konoha.
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Neji walked…no, ran down the streets of Konoha in order to get the present Tenten told him about. He was almost there when Hinata suddenly appeared in front of him, assuming a fighting stance.
"Hi-Hinata-san?"
"Neji-kun," Hinata declared, "you and I have a score to settle. It's time."
"Time for what?"
Hinata whipped out a book. "Time for you to sing your favorite song to all of Konoha."
