DISCLAIMER: Neither Harry Potter nor Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to me. I only own the plot.

Reviews: Thanks to stasa; Allen Pitt; Silent Me; Mz Mischief; Dax; enchantedlight; Sillygirrl.

Author's Note:

Hello! Sorry for the delay, but I seem to be having some problems. One with the time, because I started college a week ago. And two with my computer, who has been nagging me lately and not letting me correct the chapters. I will ask if there's someone who would want to help me beta the story? Leave a message with your mail and I will get in touch with you as soon as possible.

Having a beta would help me a lot with the time issue, I do not have as much time as I would like to re-read the chapters. So I would really appreciate if someone would offer for the job.

Now for this chapter, we have a small change in the Buffy verse, which is Buffy's birthday. I changed it for the sake of the plot.

THE TRUTH WITHIN

By: Anne79

Chapter VI

The selfish and the selfless

After the moving and emotional confession… let's rephrase that, after the overcome of shock, Joyce didn't ask to speak to Buffy alone. Nor did Joyce try to speak to her at all. Buffy was shocked as well, but for her mother's behavior. She could not understand how this woman asked her to accept the existence of a complete new world –without mentioning Joyce had kept it hidden- but she could not accept the crappy life her daughter had been living for the last three years.

It was unacceptable.

Buffy was pissed, like she hadn't been before. She had considered leaving the mansion they seemed to be in. But she hadn't been lucky enough to find the main door. And also there was the small thing on the back of her mind that reminded her: her friends were in danger because of her, and even Giles was missed in action.

Dumbledore had not given her the pitiful smile and look she had been expecting. He looked proud. As if he was happy Buffy was made of better and stronger cookie dough. She had followed him out of the room, but he had started a small conversation with one of the boys she had met at dinner yesterday. They boy had given her a look, but by now Buffy was used to having him giving looks to her and her mother.

Then she had almost bumped into her beloved uncle. He seemed to be pleased at first but then he showed a very stern face.

"Hi," Buffy said, not sure of how she was to act when she had met her long lost uncle only yesterday and they hadn't exchanged more than two words.

"Hello," He seemed to be as uncomfortable in this situation as her.

"So..." She continued.

"So what?" He asked confused.

"I don't know." She muttered embarrassed, she was giving a very stupid first impression.

"We were thinking of taking you tomorrow to Diagon Alley," He said suddenly, out of the blue.

"Oh, that's nice," Buffy said giving him a full smile, trying to disguise the fact she didn't understand of what he was talking.

"Do you know of Diagon Alley?" He asked after some seconds of consideration.

"Not really." She admitted showing a sheepish grin. He showed something that could pass for a smile.

"We will go to buy the materials you will need, if you want to receive proper training," He elaborated. Little did Buffy know how difficult the small exchange of words was for Severus Snape. Because for him, Buffy represented and reminded him many things. She was the main cause his sister didn't want to know anything about him. Even when he had become a Death Eater Joyce managed to tolerate meeting him, even if he had been the murderer of innocent people. But when this child had been conceived, any possibility of repairing the deteriorated relationship had been abruptly eliminated. Also, Buffy Summers looked incredibly like her mother; she looked so much like the sister who used to worship the grounds he walked in. Just before their worlds had been detached. Just before he had failed her completely.

"So it's like a mall?" She asked frowning.

"No, it's an Alley," He replied, surprised he hadn't answered as sharply as he would have normally for such a redundant question.

"Oh," She said before resuming biting her lower lip. "So ..." She said seconds after, Severus was about to repeat the same bit of conversation from before. Buffy broke in a grin. "Do I get a wand?" She asked excitedly.

"Of course." He replied, pleased by her interest.

"It's not as hard as it seems, is it?" Buffy asked continuing to chew her lip anxiously.

"Some parts are more difficult than others," He admitted nodding slowly. "But you are your mother's daughter" She looked at him confused.

"Mom said it didn't really matter if we come from wizards or muggies," Buffy asked, she remembered also he used to be part of a 'racist' group.

"Muggles" He corrected out of reflex. "No, I suppose it doesn't," He replied with a grimace. "But there are some talents we inherit from our parents." He explained staring right in Buffy's eyes. He seemed to be seeing something Buffy couldn't quite understand or even define. "Do you know where your mother is?" He asked changing the subject. She shook her head. "I'll continue my quest then." He finished with -what Buffy understood was a- very rare honest smile.

She couldn't find any other phrase to hold his attention as he left. She felt a bit disappointed. Even if the first talk she had had with her uncle had not been an ugly one, it had not been exactly warm and cuddly, with lost of tears and manifestations of regrets. Her uncle seemed to be as good as her mother at keeping his secrets, but way better than her at controlling his feelings. He was neutral, somewhat stoic. She supposed his sarcastic attitude was one of the reasons people in the house didn't seem to like his company much, including her mother. She knew of course the main reason should be because he used to be evil. But she had to respect what he did, it took a lot of guts to regret your former position, say you are sorry and risk your butt playing double agent.

As she only knew by memory where the dinning room was, she went there directly, hoping she could find someone to talk to. She would have loved having her friends –her real friends: Willow and Xander- there, but she had to settle for what she had for the moment. She planned on staying there until she figured out the whole truth within her mother's story.

Then the end of the discussion reached her again. She was so self-absorbed at the moment she didn't notice the door until it was too late to step back, and it hit her right in the front of her face. She stumbled but didn't fall. At the other side of the door was a blushing red head. Ron, she reminded.

"Are you alright?" He asked, his eyes completely open, his eyebrows completely raised. "I'm sorry, I didn-"

"It's ok," Buffy mumbled and went inside the dinning room –Ron holding the door for her-. "A little bit of ice will do"

"What did you do now Ron?" Another red head –this time the only girl- asked bringing with her the ice bag Buffy had just asked for. The red head –Buffy couldn't remember her name- handed it out for her. And Buffy placed it immediately in her sour cheek. Buffy knew the bag was not needed, the slayer's healing would have it all patched up in a matter of minutes. But she could not risk, for those she expected didn't know about her identity to find out about her. "I'm Ginny" The girl said sitting next to her in the bench.

"Buffy," Buffy muttered from behind the ice bag. The girl giggled.

"I'm really sorry," Ron repeated.

"Don't worry, things like this happen" Buffy muttered. "It's my fault for being distracted,"

"So America," Ginny said after some minutes of complete silence. "Is it nice there?"

"It's sunny where I live" Buffy muttered. "It's called Sunnydale… you do the maths," The girl giggled once again.

"Cute boys?" As soon as those words left the girls mouth, her brother jumped like a defensive wild animal.

"Ginny!" He growled.

"What?" Ginny said in return, making herself sound innocent.

"Ronald, you don't expect her to be like you, do you?" Buffy heard Hermione saying as she entered the dinning room.

"There are some," Buffy answered with a small grin, trying to avoid what she thought would be an almost sure discussion. Ginny and Buffy were going to get along just fine.

"How old are you by the way?" Ginny asked curiously breaking the subject.

"Sixteen," Buffy answered with a sigh.

"Oh that's great!" The red headed girl cried cheerfully. "When you come to Hogwarts you'll be with me!"

"She could be with us too Gin," Hermione said reasonably. "It only depends on her birthday, when's your birthday Buffy?"

"September the tenth," She said frowning.

"Oh!" Ginny cried out with a grin. "You'll be with me!"

"Actually…," Buffy muttered, not happy about having to break the girl's bubble. "I don't think I'll be going to Hogwarts any time soon,"

"Why not?" Ginny asked confused, frowning, disappointed.

"Because…," Buffy started and pulled away from her face the bag of ice, which was starting to melt and to mess up her mascara. "My mom doesn't think I need to, and also I have to go back to the States….," They waited for her to end up the phrase. ".. To finish school and stuff," She finished smiling innocently. Buffy Summers was anything but innocent.

"Yes and think Ginny, she told us she doesn't know any magic," Hermione reasoned with the red head, Buffy imagined that if she joined Hermione and Ginny in one body she would probably get Willow. Even with the red head.

"Yup," Buffy nodded, not having really heard the comment.

"And she doesn't even have a wand!" Ron added. Ginny shrugged.

"But Severus told me I was going to get one," Buffy said defensively.

"Why would you need a wand, if you don't know how to use it?" Ron asked outraged. She noticed Hermione was glaring him badly, just like Ginny.

"She could catch up you know?" Hermione's and Ron's friend –Howard, Buffy thought- said adding himself to the conversation.

"Yup, actually I think they want me to learn the basics or whatever," Buffy added.

"We could help you if you want," Hermione offered, and Ginny besides her nodded in approval.

"And what would she learn from another girl with unfinished training?" The silky voice of Buffy's uncle came from behind. She noticed how Hermione did not response but stayed quiet and blushed.

"Well, she could help me practice while you guys make your little meetings to try saving the world," Buffy answered. She knew she wasn't supposed to take a side in the discussion, but she could not help but intervene after she had heard her uncle's haughty tone. He stared at her, not showing any sign of shock or displeasure at her tone or her response.

"Indeed," He whispered softly.

"What's wrong Severus?" Joyce's voice said from behind him, he stepped forward –away from the door- letting his sister come inside.

"Your daughter was giving suggestions for her future education," He answered, with a smooth tone.

"Oh Buffy, there you are," Joyce said smiling at her daughter. "I was about to call you to eat."

"We are at the dinning room," Buffy answered flatly.

Lunch/Dinner went down smoothly. Buffy had kept talking to both girls, Hermione and Ginny, with some interventions from Ron and Harold –whom Buffy know remembered wasn't Harold but Harry-. Her mother hadn't sat next to her, or even close. She had sat next to Sirius, with whom she seemed to share laughs every now and then. Severus had left shortly after the second exchange of words, with Dumbledore. Not before Dumbledore reminded Buffy and the others that they were going to Diagon Alley tomorrow.

Afterwards she had finally got a chance to speak with her mother. She was ready to knock some sense out of her, in a non violent kind of way. But it seemed that her mother was also ready to deal with the issue they had in hands. Buffy waited out side in the corridor, when Joyce came out of the dinning room; she stopped in front of Buffy knowing that there was no way out.

"I will go back in September to Sunnydale, whether you want it or not." Buffy dropped out, not caring for a smoother beginning. She saw the girls –Hermione and Ginny- going out of the living room with Harry and Ron tagging along. They passed her, waved and continued walking.

"Do you want to go to our room?" Joyce asked stoically. The tone, the coldness, Buffy could not recognize them I her mother. She used to think her mother was a very kind, most of all warm mother. She was a caring mother. Even if sometimes Buffy had complained for not having the best friend relationship some girls seemed to naturally have with their mothers, she had always felt content with the relationship they had. Joyce was not stoic, she was not cold, and she did not look displeased when Buffy talked to her. But that was all Buffy could find in her mother now, she kept thinking if maybe she had been wrong and this wasn't her mother after all.

Joyce did not wait for an answer; she just turned and walked to their room. She did not turn to make sure Buffy was following; she did not walk slowly so Buffy could catch up with her. She just walked quickly, reached the room, opened the door, went inside and waited for Buffy to come right after her.

Buffy went inside disappointed at her mother's behavior. She entered into the silent room and turned on one of the lamps. She wanted a bath real bad. "Do we get any clothes?" She asked breaking the silence.

"Do you know how I feel about this?" She heard her mother's voice saying from the window. Joyce stood looking outside the window –with her back towards Buffy-.

"Oh God! Could you please stop being so selfish?" Buffy hissed dropping at the boards of her bed. "Have you even considered my feelings for only one second?" Joyce turned to finally look at Buffy straight in the face.

"Yes, I have," She admitted while coming closer to Buffy. She noticed how Buffy turned to stare at the wall rather than her, so she stopped and sat in her own bed instead. "This whole day I have thought only of you…"

"You have a great way of showing it," Buffy muttered.

"…I have been thinking of what you must have felt when that men told you, you were the slayer; I have been thinking about how you must have felt when you couldn't be with your friends, or when you faced death and accepted dying for a bigger cause. I have been thinking how rough it must have been to kill your boyfriend, but most of all how horrible it must have been to find him after he had lost his soul and he wasn't him… I understand how you felt at the moment, the betrayal, the pain… the impotence" Joyce's eyes were empty, they saw right past Buffy as if a long lost memory had come out of nowhere. Buffy was worried. This was a look she hadn't seen in a while in her mother. Not after the divorce. It seemed also that Buffy's persistent stare had woken Joyce, who shook her head softly as if to shake off the memories. "I know what you must be thinking. You think it is cruel of me not to accept your reality after you have come to accept mine," She did not waited for an answer from Buffy. She didn't need to. "I think what bother each of us are the same things, why didn't the other tell us?" Joyce brushed her hair. "I am sorry I have acted as I have. I am sorry I kicked you out of the house… but I don't understand why you didn't tell me?"

"Because you wouldn't have believed me," Buffy muttered from her bed feeling ashamed of her answer. She glanced shortly at her mother, and instead of seeing surprise she saw understanding.

"Probably," Joyce admitted more to herself than to Buffy.

"I mean when I did, you didn't quite react like the best mother in the World. Kicking out your daughter out of the house, I don't think it's in any parenting book," Buffy added with a small smirk.

"I should have been there for you Buffy, I could have helped…" Joyce regretted as she massaged her temple.

"I don't think so, you would have just put me in more danger," Buffy disagreed. They both stayed in silence. Buffy couldn't dare to ask her mother about the secrets she kept, and Joyce could not continue asking Buffy about her secrets, if Joyce kept hers so well under her sleeve. "Where do we go from here?"

"I would prefer that before you go to Sunnydale, that we get some news from your watcher," Joyce demanded. Buffy nodded. "We can't just go back; Dumbledore will probably want the security of the place heightened."

"We?" Buffy asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I can't let you leave like that," Joyce said seriously staring into her daughter's hazel eyes.

"Mom, but you are needed here… weren't you saying how big of an asset you were for the Order?" Buffy asked suspicion rising, instead of being touched by her mother's words.

"You are my biggest responsibility Buffy," Joyce said. "I can't just stay here wondering if you are alright," Joyce noticed how suspicious Buffy looked. Her daughter knew she was hiding things from her.

"Why do they call you Joy?" Buffy asked out of the blue. It was Joyce's turn to become nervous.

"Because that's my name," Joyce said. She had stood up before Buffy asked anything, so she took back her place in her bed. "My mother named me Joy Solitude Snape; I changed it when I went to the States."

"Joy and Severus, she didn't have the best taste in names, did she?" Buffy muttered.

"I like it; it's just that I needed to change some things in case anyone would want to track me down," Joyce explained. She knew where this conversation was going; she needed to end it before Buffy started making the touchy questions she didn't want to answer. "I'm going to see where they put the suitcases"

"Suitcases?" Buffy echoed. "We have suitcases?"

"I packed some of my things and some of those you left at home… Dumbledore brought the things you left at your place in Los Angeles" Joyce explained as opened the door.

"The rent? I didn't pay this month," Buffy said worried.

"I'm sure Dumbledore took care of that also… we don't want any trail," Joyce said before breaking into a smile and leaving the room.


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