Disclaimer: Bones and its affiliated characters do not belong to me. I mean no copyright infringement.

Author's Notes: This is an emotional chapter without any case stuff, but I'll return to that in the next chapter.

Responses to your reviews are at the end.

A Hero's Sacrifice

Chapter 6: Damaged

"I don't think this is helping us with our case. Let's get back to the problem in Detroit or we can call an end to this and start again tomorrow."

Booth let out a big sigh and ran his hand through his hair. He was done being a wimp. "I'm not done with what I need to say."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"Bones, just listen for a couple of more minutes. This is important to me. You just said that you believe in me. That didn't happen suddenly. It was gradual over time. You saw the evidence over time that made you come to that conclusion. You've been changing your whole life. It's evolution, Bones! Like… how you've become so successful is amazing after all the things you had to deal with at a young age. All of your experiences have changed you… most good, some bad. There is no such thing as normal. You are you. And that's all I ever wanted when I quickly admitted my desires outside the Hoover that night after our final session with Sweets. And although it doesn't change anything now, I just wanted to tell you that. I've wanted to tell you and this time I wasn't missing the chance." He took a deep breath and gave a big sigh. "There. I said it. Thanks for listening, Bones. Really."

"What do you mean it doesn't change anything, now?" asked Brennan.

Booth sat back down on her couch. He wasn't sure he was ready for this discussion, but he walked into it. So, he owed it to her to finish it. "I'm not the same person. I came back from Afghanistan damaged."

"But Booth, you came back from the war before I ever met you. You became my partner and best friend just being you which included those experiences. I don't understand why you think this is any different."

Booth shook his head in disbelief. "Bones, look at how messed up my life is." He started to get angrier with every spoken thought, but he wasn't yelling. "I'm living with a woman so I can spy on her. She specifically targeted me for who I am and I never saw it coming. I was so wrapped up in feeling sorry for myself that I broke the rules. Damn it, Bones. I don't sleep with just anyone to satisfy biological urges. Okay, well, that's partially a true statement. When I was younger, I didn't care so much. But now, I'm too old for that crap. And it kills me every time she seduces me." He couldn't look at her. "I'm disgusted with myself and you should be, too."

"Look, I'm not very good with the heart stuff. I'm the brain person, so I'm going to think through this logically."

Booth looked up and gave her a slight smile. "Thanks, Bones. But I don't think it's going to help this time."

"You asked me to listen to you. I think you owe it to me to give me a chance."

"Fine," he muttered in defeat.

"When we first started working together, you were struggling with all the people you had to kill as a sniper." He stiffened. "You did something you wouldn't do if it wasn't ordered by the army in the middle of a war. And you said you wanted to catch at least that many murderers. Right?"

"Yeah. And thanks to you, I might succeed." He relaxed his shoulders.

"This really isn't any different. If you had a choice, you wouldn't be with Hannah. Am I right about that, too?"

"Yeah, knowing what I do now."

"For me to be disgusted with you would be irrational. And I don't think you should be punishing yourself."

"Easier said than done, Bones. Easier said than done."

Brennan walked over to him and reached for his hands to pull him up. It felt strange to both of them. Any kind of touch had become so foreign. She took a step closer and hugged him. He didn't put his arms around her. "Bones? What are you doing?"

She brought her hands down by her sides but didn't step away much. "Besides the fact that I miss this, you need to feel a positive touch. You've associated a woman's touch as something negative."

"I thought you didn't like psychology." He was amused. She was not. "And I think you're wrong."

"So, it's just me."

"Yeah, but not in the way you're thinking."

"And what am I thinking?" she challenged.

"You're thinking that my feelings for you haven't changed and I'm trying to keep my distance from you to protect myself."

"So, you really have moved on. You used to allow guy hugs when we were just partners."

"As much as I wish I had, I haven't been able to move on. Not even when I thought I was in a relationship with Hannah."

"I don't understand your reluctance then."

"I don't want you to get the wrong idea that we can go back to the way things were… when I was interested in more than a partnership and friendship. I'm trying to be cautious. I'm protecting you from me."

"That's my line," claimed Brennan.

"Except that I didn't need protecting."

"I don't need protecting, either. Your alpha male need to protect me isn't warranted. I discovered a lot of things when I was away. The most important one is that I shouldn't have rejected you."

"What? Oh God, Bones. Don't say that. It's too late. I don't deserve you." He began pacing and Brennan stopped him at her bookshelves by her desk.

"Why do you get to decide that?"

He chuckled sarcastically. "And why did you get to decide for me?"

"I already said I made a mistake. I'm sorry I taught you to think that way."

"This is a different situation, Bones."

"Not that much different. I told you that I didn't think monogamy was realistic."

"I disagree. It is very different. Wait. Your negative views about monogamy are your reason for not judging me?"

"No. I realize that monogamy is important to you. Therefore, I can understand why it's important that love be a component of a sexual relationship. And so it would only be natural for you to be uncomfortable in this situation. So there's no reason to judge you. You were forced into this."

"If you feel that way, why do you no longer feel the need to protect me?"

"While it's true that for some people and some cultures monogamy is unrealistic, I have realized that monogamy is what's best for other people to feel secure and happy. You taught me that. You're not an irrational person."

He knew he shouldn't ask. It could mean resisting her would be much harder.

"Are you saying you want to live in a monogamous relationship?"

"I never said I didn't want that. I just doubted anyone could." His jaw dropped. "I was afraid you would later regret choosing me and then I would lose you as a partner and friend, too. It wasn't worth the risk. When I had time away, I examined the evidence. Monogamy is important to you. You're a very loyal person. But that's not all that drove me to say 'no'. You want marriage. And I admit that that part still bothers me."

Booth sat down on her chair and dropped his face into his hands as he rested his elbows on her desk. "I will always regret thinking that I needed to move on. I should have known you would freak out. You needed time to rationalize everything. And I gave up on you. I don't know how you could forgive me for that, Bones."

"Didn't you say you always knew?" He stood up again and nodded in agreement. "Then there's nothing to forgive. You waited years for me to catch up to your way of thinking." Brennan stepped up close, lifted his chin the way he did so many times to her, and kissed him.

"Bones," he whispered. "You shouldn't do that."

"Are you emotionally detached when you're with Hannah?"

"That's not enough."

"If I was unable to defend myself, which is not likely to happen, but just pretend that I couldn't protect myself and I was raped."

He stepped away in shock and horror. "God, Bones, don't even think of such a thing."

"That's unrealistic, Booth. It happens to women everyday."

"But not to you. I would kill the guy."

"My point exactly. You would be furious. But would that make you disgusted with me? Would you never want to be intimate with me if you had the desire to do so?"

"Of course, not. It wouldn't have been your fault. Nothing would be able to change the way I feel about you."

"Exactly."

"It's still not the same, Bones."

"Why are you making this complicated?"

"Because it is complicated, Bones. Rape is a one time event. And it happens without your consent."

She stepped forward again, backing him against the bookshelves behind her desk. Then she kissed him again, but this time, she held on to him by the lapels of his suit jacket. She invited him to kiss her back by nipping at his bottom lip and soothing it with her tongue. When he gasped, she took advantage of his surprise and slipped her tongue inside his mouth in search of his. She got her desired response when he responded to her kiss. It was a slow, sweet, and sensual kiss that eventually turned more passionate. It ended all too soon, though.

They spoke in hushed tones. "Bones," he said with his forehead resting on hers. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because you need this as much as I do. You need to feel good about yourself again. And I want to be the one to help you with that."

"So, you are seducing me out of pity?"

"No, Booth. I'm seducing you because I want to be as close to you as possible… breaking the law of physics."

"It seems wrong."

"Make love to me, Booth."

Booth couldn't help himself. He'd waited for so long to hear those words. He never thought he would hear them.

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Review Responses

Thank you for your interest in this story. I hope the turn of events is a welcoming idea to you. I enjoy all the reviews I get! Thank you: JET1967, SuintytotheBone, Diko, Gally619, NCISaddict77, Mezzo187, ScotFree, Aching Bones, nertooold54, and chymom.

Hannah: Yeah, she's letting herself be used to further her career. Maybe she doesn't think she'll get caught? Doing it at the expense of others… Is it just a mission to her several months later or has it become complicated emotionally? Is she completely heartless? As far as being a crappy reporter… I don't think so. She's just now getting better stories that's making her more famous as a journalist. Should she be shot… Hmm. I hadn't thought of that.

Brennan's acting skills: I think she's great, but I've always thought that. Roxie in Vegas. Joining the circus. I think she feels free when she's not pressured to be super scientist that's all brain and supposedly no heart. On the show, I found it odd that Booth wondered if her acting skills had improved. But most of season 6 has confused me.

Seduction: Was it realistic? Was it in character?

Booth with Hannah: Performance issues are an interesting idea. LOL Instead of offering to help, maybe the performance issues could start happening with Hannah if he's sleeping with Bones?

100th Episode: I agree that Booth should have tossed the idea of an intimate relationship out there for her to think about instead of expecting an immediate positive response. It was the basis of my story, What Could Have Been… which really needs to be updated.

Nertooold54: Thank you for telling me what is allowed under the Patriot Act. I didn't know that.

Lady-josie: I'm so glad you like the case. I can't remember if you've been reading What Could Have Been. It has a unique case, too. I like this one better, though.

Something Fun

There's a tournament going on with TV couples. It's just like the NCAA Tournament with 64 couples instead of basketball teams and it even has brackets. I find it hilarious. LOL! Booth & Brennan and Hodgins & Angela made it to the Elite 8! Booth & Brennan are a #3 seed competing against a #1 seed in their bracket. They're slipping. Hodgins & Angela are a #11 seed competing with a #? seed in their bracket. If you'd like to vote, you can find the link on my profile page at the bottom. You can vote as many times as you'd like.

Game 2.1

50.0% House-Cuddy (Hugh Laurie & Lisa Edelstein), House

50.0% Booth-Brennan (David Boreanaz & Emily Deschanel), Bones

Game 2.2

49.0% Eric-Sookie (Alexander Skarsgård & Anna Paquin), True Blood

51.0% Hodgins-Angela (T.J. Thyne & Michaela Conlin), Bones

This round closes Fri., Feb. 25 at 11 a.m. PST.