Guilt

It was unbearable, the grief. Like nothing I had ever experienced before. And as I sat in the blaring light of the afternoon sun, I knew that I deserved it. How could I?

I left him in his time of need! I left him there. Left him with his troubles, grief, and sorrow. How could I have been so foolish? Did I honestly believe that he could handle everything himself? When someone says they can handle something, they don't really mean it. Everyone needs help. Everyone needs somebody to reach out to and grab on. Someone to help them carry the burden that was helplessly drowning them.

I took my hand away. I left him there to drown. And as I said before, I let the train ride away. Ride away with my heart, my love, and my destiny.

Harry's words cut through my silence and I realized I was still at Dumbledore's funeral. As I turned towards Harry, I met the gaze of his green eyes. They were filled with sadness, agony, pain, and unbearable anger. It seemed to drip from his eyes and flood everything around him. As I continued to stare into his painful eyes, I could feel myself beginning to drown in despair. It must have hurt so bad to have the last thing you love leave. It must hurt to have had to watch Dumbledore die. It must hurt to feel like you could have done something, anything, to save him. It must hurt so bad to have that regret and grief flood your heart.

Yes, it hurts so, so bad.

He began to speak quietly.

"Ginny listen...," he spoke. I knew what was coming. Inside I knowingly sighed, but I let Harry continue. "I can't be involved with you anymore. We've got to stop seeing each other. We can't be together."

I smiled. "It's for some stupid, noble reason, isn't it?"

"It's been like...like something out of someone else's life, these last few weeks with you," said Harry. I wanted him to hurry up and get this over with. "But I can't...we can't...I've got things to do alone now."

I looked at him. He continued.

"Voldemort uses people his enemies are close to. He's already used you as bait once, and that was just because you're my best friend's sister. Think how much danger you'll be in if we keep this up. He'll know. He'll find out. He'll try and get to me through you."

I hated him for this. He was so stupid! I felt anger rise within me.

"What if I don't care?" I spoke venomously.

"I care," Harry spoke. "How do you think I'd feel if this was your funeral...and it was my fault..."

Damn him. Damn him and his bloody pride. I looked out towards the lake, wanting nothing more than to just be alone. Wanting nothing more than to run around the edges of the water. To run so fast, nothing could touch me...

"I never really gave up on you," I spoke almost amusingly. "Not really. I always hoped...Hermione told me to get on with life, maybe go out with some other people, relax a bit around you, because I never used to be able to talk if you were in the room, remember? And she thought you might take a bit more notice if I was a bit more — myself."

It was weird confiding to him this way, after all that had happened. It was true: I had never given up on Harry. I always had this false hope that I'd be with him one day. But when I was with Draco...things changed. But now he's gone too, taking a part of me with him.

After I had that one last talk with Draco, I had kissed Harry. After the match. I don't know what came over me. Maybe I was looking for something, or someone, else to lean on? All I wanted to do was try and wash away some of the guilt and pain that overwhelmed me every day. It became to much to take! Being with Harry seemed to take some of it away.

"Smart girl, that Hermione," Harry said. He smiled, but it looked more like a grimace. I guess it was hard for him to smile anymore, after all that had happened. He continued. "I just wish I'd asked you out sooner. We could've had ages...months...years maybe.."

Yes, you git.

"But you've been too busy saving the Wizarding world," I laughed bitterly. "Well...I can't say I'm surprised. I knew this would happen in the end. I knew you wouldn't be happy unless you were hunting Voldemort. Maybe that's why I like you so much."

I saw pain flash again in his eyes. He gave me one last look before he turned around slowly and began to walk off.

I hope he did catch Voldemort. Voldemort was what caused everything! He took Draco away from me...! Draco got caught up in everything bad around him. I hated to think that it would have been different if I had done something that night in the hospital room. That's where guilt began to overwhelm me again, and I sat down. I felt light-headed and dizzy.

Draco was somewhere out there, alone. From Harry and the others I had learned that he hesitated to kill Dumbledore, and that it was Snape who did the deed for him. That one bit of information made a world of difference. I had affected him. Slightly, but I had. He didn't kill Dumbledore. But I didn't do enough. He still got caught up in the evil around him, the bitterness that plagued the Wizarding world.

Tears began to well up again in my eyes once again. I looked out across the lake and could almost see the face of Draco reflecting off the blackness of the water. I could almost see his bright, silver eyes. I could almost see his shining blonde hair...

Tears continued to pour from my eyes. They rained and thundered out the pain inside of me.

Guilt was overwhelming.

If only I'd known...

how to save a life...

Step one you say we need to talk

He walks you say sit down it's just a talk

He smiles politely back at you

You stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right

As he goes left and you stay right

Between the lines of fear and blame

And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best

Cause after all you do know best

Try to slip past his defense

Without granting innocence

Lay down a list of what is wrong

The things you've told him all along

And pray to God he hears you

And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice

You lower yours and grant him one last choice

Drive until you lose the road

Or break with the ones you've followed

He will do one of two things

He will admit to everything

Or he'll say he's just not the same

And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

A/N: Did ya'll like it? Sorry if it was a bit confusing. Just let me know if it was and I'll try to explain. I tried to stay as correct to the book as I possibly could, except for the whole D/G things in the story. Hopefully it was alright. I started this story a LONG time ago, really before the song became VASTLY over-popular and overplayed. Sorry about that. But I still love the song. It's beautiful. PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! Thank you so much for reading!

Disclaimer: I do not own the song How to Save a Life by the Fray. Nor do I own the part in the story where Harry and Ginny talk. That was taken directly out of the book except for Ginny's POV and commentary, which I wrote. Thanks!