sweet dang, guys. where have i been, i know. to be honest i had a lot of trouble writing this chapter and it took a lot longer to break through that hesitation than i had thought, and for that im sorry. but the chapter is up now! And dont worry, now we are getting really close to the good stuff, i promise ;)

i will hopefully update sortly after this, maybe tomorrow or the day after, i wouldnt want to keep you guys waiting for too long or youll lose interest.

enjoy!~

It wasn't long after Vaas had left that it came to my attention that the door was unlocked, the window was open, and I was completely unrestrained. Was this some kind of test of loyalty? A way to figure out whether or not I would run from him? I chewed on the inside of my cheek when I rumbling sound echoed through my body. I felt so hollow and weak, I needed food. I hadn't eaten for three days… four? Was it four days? No three. Three. I was sure of it.

I cautiously went to the window and leaned my head out, turning this way and that to get a look at my surroundings. It seemed to be nothing but jungle as far as I could see, what with the shed being up on a slope I was met with the canopy of the trees growing down below, and I bent at the waist to get a good look at the jungle floor. It really was quite lovely. Lush greenery and beautiful flowers sprouting up from the ground. How I ached to explore them further, to get away from the camp if only for a few hours and be adventurous. There was a sound coming from behind my and I jumped a bit in surprise, knocking my head against the window cover, causing it to close on top of me.

I fumbled to get it off of my shoulders, awkwardly shimmying downward so that it rested on the back of my neck before I was able to push it up off of me. When I had spun to find the source of the noise that had caused me to jump, the dizziness of hunger made my head spin, and thick nausea overcame me in a warm wave. My vision clouded and I could feel blood rushing from my head, a sure sign of a low fluid intake. "Ohshit," I groaned, the exclamation melting together to become a single world as it poured lazily from my mouth. My chest was still throbbing, and the blood moving so quickly in my body made it pulse with pain. "Vaas?" I guessed, squinting as my vision cleared.

I could hear his laughter softly escape his lips and the heavy thud of his boots as he walked toward me. He seemed entertained by my clumsiness, if not slightly amused. The same amusement that would come from watching a kitten struggle to catch a ball of feathers at the end of a string.

He stood there in silence and I awkwardly shifted my weight from one foot to the other, fiddling with my hands at my waist and tapping my teeth together. I cleared my throat, groping for the wall behind me to keep from swaying off balance.

"Nice view," I commented, pushing some of the dark and knotted hair out of my face. My stomach growled and hunger pains gripped me like a knife. I had never been so hungry as long as I had been alive, and it seemed to pull at my intestines with sharp and angry claws.

"I think its time I let you eat, eh?" he asked, running his hands over his freshly shaved Mohawk. A part of me wondered how he cut so close and didn't nick himself with the blade, and his skin gleaming softly beneath the light.

"Please," was the only word I could muster, too numbed by the hunger in me to come up with a snarky reply.

"I thought so," he sighed, turning and gesturing for the door. "Come. I don't want you dying just yet."

I zealously embraced my new markings as we stepped outside, tugging the red wife beater a bit lower around my neck and pushing back my hair to show them off. Everyone had to know whom I belonged to. Everyone had to know I was not to be trifled with. The letters now engraved into my chest like an ancient Egyptian artwork I had once seen hanging in a museum. Beautiful sunken lines that made my flesh bleed and my skin swell. A relief of sorts, my chest was now a work of art.

Still, the sweat beading on my skin stung as it rolled over the cuts, and I sucked hair sharply through my teeth every time I felt the discomfort. For the pain I resented Vaas a bit. I had seen plenty of men around camp since I got here with tattoos, why did I have to be labeled with something far more gruesome? Why did the cuts have to be so jagged and deep? He could have been gentler, kinder, and softer to the touch. But that wouldn't have been Vaas then, would it. Moments of tenderness with him were few and far between without much to cling onto for memories. I shook my head. No. A tattoo was too soft, too fair and too humane. For me and the rest of his men there had to be this horrid warning of whom we were dealing with, ever wary and ever cautious so as to keep ourselves out of the line of fire. Literally.

I wasn't sure where we were headed to, I had only ever walked to the blue jugs with the white spigots before, and this was a new adventure no doubt about that. I trailed behind him, my bare feet stepping with a newfound confidence as I held my fists vehemently at my side. I was a new woman. No longer would I shake and stutter before the likes of other pirates. I would hold my ground and make sure they knew what would be coming to them if they tried to have their way with me.

As we approached the garage where there were men sitting around a table drinking alcohol and eating rice and some sort of brownish broth. One had his feet on the table and counted a stack of American dollars, occasionally licking his thumb. Another was swaying in his chair, obviously intoxicated as a dark blush filled his cheeks and was plainly visible even underneath his brown mulatto skin.

Vaas whistled and pointed at them. "Out," was all he had to say; even in a soft voice they took his command very seriously, scrambling to collect their things as quickly as possible before getting up and walking away.

I watched them walk by with my eyes only, I dare not twist my neck to follow their movements for fear that Vaas would account that as disloyalty of some sort. He placed a heavy hand on my shoulder, gripping his thick fingers into my skin and humming into my hair. "Sit down, chica," he ordered softly, guiding me to a chair. I followed without a word, my feet dragging heavily beneath my body as I did what I was told.

Sitting down in a chair felt wonderful, even if it was old and rocked a bit with my movement, I had never been so happy to hear the groaning of wood beneath my weight. Vaas was being awfully gentle with me today, using hushed tones and low whispers, soft touches and careful breaths. I wasn't sure what to make of it other than the fact that maybe I was too delirious with hunger to notice anything else.

Apparently I hadn't been paying attention at all because as I looked up I noticed Vaas had put down two wooden bowls and a spoon in front of me, on filled with overcooked white rice and the other with the same broth I had seen the other pirates eating before. He laced his fingers behind his neck and placed his chin on his elbows which pointed toward me, looking at me expectantly as he rested across the table.

"Oh, I- uh thank you," I managed to sputter dizzily. The food looked less than appetizing, and even the thought of eating it should have made me sick, but I hadn't had any nourishment in three days. At this point the stuff looked like a five star meal to me. I picked up the spoon in my right hand and rested it between my fingers, slipping it into the rice first and bringing that to my lips.

The texture was mushy like paste but it hardly fazed me, this rice was the best I was going to get and I was not going to look ungrateful. I could feel Vaas's eyes on me as I finished the entire bowl without a word, shoveling in spoonfuls at a time and scraping along the bottom when there was nothing left. I hardly even tasted it I had eaten so fast, and I reluctantly moved onto the broth.

It smelled like the ocean and I crinkled my nose at it, glancing at Vaas nervously across the table but his expression hadn't changed, he just watched with those light blue eyes, which seemed to burn themselves into my mind every time I looked at them. He made me so nervous, so warm and shaky. My fingers wavered beneath his gaze, which made holding my utensil difficult, but I managed to triumph, slurping the incredibly salty broth one spoonful at a time.

Even as I drank the warm grainy liquid his eyes were still staring, and he hadn't moved from his incredibly casual position even once, just watching my face without wavering. I laughed nervously beneath his gaze and wiped my mouth with the back of my arm. "Vaas are you feeling alright?" I asked. His eyebrows raised and he shrugged.

"I am fine," he replied sternly, his voice a growl in his chest. "Now eat." I couldn't say I believed him considering his behavior. This was very unlike him to be so soft spoken, especially considering how excited he had been to give me my new markings this morning. I clicked my teeth and decided not to persist any further, afraid for what might come if I did.

I placed my hands on either side of the bowl and lifted it to my lips, gulping the warm broth hungrily even though I would have honestly rather gone without it. The saltiness left me parched, and I looked around for anything to drink without success. I glanced up at Vaas from beneath my eyelashes and smiled nervously at him, clasping my hands together on the table and absentmindedly tapping my thumbs. I stared at my scarred knuckles and still healing palms, studying every crack and crevasse in my skin as I awkwardly sat across the table from this fearsome creature.

My ankles crossed beneath my chair as I leaned forward and rested most of my upper body weight on my elbows, clearing my throat and pushing hair off my neck. God it was hot out, the air was moist and humid and it clung to my skin like warm water, which didn't make sporting dark hair that was over a foot and a half long that easy. Before I had arrived to the island I was heavily equipped with more hair ties than I had need for, but here in the jungle I just had to peel it off my skin whenever I got too hot and hope it stayed in its place.

Still nothing made me more uncomfortable than how calm Vaas was being. What was going on with him? I looked up from my hands for just a second to see that he had moved from the table. Was I honestly so blinded by delirium that I hadn't noticed him get up? He had disappeared into the little shack the table was next to, and before I could even get a grasp on the concept that he was gone, he was already back again.

In his hand was a half-empty bottle of what looked like moonshine, or some other type of grain alcohol. Whatever it was it was very strong, and I could smell it even from a few feet away. The scent burned my nose. 'Like rubbing alcohol' I thought to myself, wrinkling my face in distaste. He held the bottle loosely and brought it to his mouth, taking two long gulps that made me flinch. How could he even stomach the stuff?

It was at that moment that I put two and two together. Vaas was drunk. That's why he was being so mellow, so calm. Now that I had lifted the veil of hunger that seemed to blind me prior, it was plain to me that he was intoxicated. His movements were slow and deliberate, with too much concentration for such simple actions. Something must have happened between his visit this morning until now that made him go to a bottle, and it made me uneasy.

What shocked me, though, was how calm of a drunk he was. Maybe he had had so much that now he wasn't entirely conscious, or maybe he was just a mellow drinker, but that made me uneasy. Vaas was never mellow; Vaas was always thinking and planning and talking and doing wicked things. Something told me that as soon as he snapped he was going to come down from this feeling and he was going to come down hard.

I clenched my teeth and flexed my jaw as he made his way back to his chair, sitting down with a hard thud. He made me so uneasy. Even when he was so relaxed I still watched him like a coiled viper, as if he would strike at any moment. In that silence, between his small sips of alcohol and my fear-induced brainstorming, Vaas spoke to me very casually.

"You need a haircut," he said, his words slurring a bit. He moved one arm across the small table and grabbed gently at the ends of my hair, rolling them between his thumb and forefinger.

This made me smile and I pulled my lips into my mouth to keep from laughing. "Sure," I agreed softly, my body seizing up when he had reached for me and clenching tight with fear.

He took another sip from the bottle and then slammed it hard onto the table by the neck, licking his upper lip. His tongue ran smoothly across his own skin, leaving the area moist and glistening in the light. How I craved to have been as lucky as his tongue, to move so gracefully along his mouth. He had been so good to me these past three days… or maybe it was four after all. Maybe even five. I owed him so much. Had it not been for him taking a liking to me I would be dead on the beach or tossed in some shallow ditch. He was so good to me; when he pushed the bottle toward me I had no choice but to accept the generous offer.

I turned the bottle in my hands so my lips carefully lined up with where his had been, tilting it backward and taking a small swig. I practically gagged, and as the burn tore viciously down my throat I coughed and put the bottle back on the table, sucking in air between my teeth and shivering.

Within a few minutes I felt heat enter my face and creep into my ears. This was not anything to be trifled with, one gulp and I was already starting to feel its slowing effects on my body. I looked to Vaas whom had apparently decided to stop drinking and continued to watch me. "Drink it."

"M-more?" I hiccupped, eyebrows arching upward nervously.

"Sí, chiquita, beber todo lo que puedas." His voice was lazy and rolled off his tongue in a thick heap of groans and hums. Luckily I understood enough Spanish to know he wanted me to intake more of the stuff, but that didn't mean I would enjoy it.

I exhaled out of my nose and picked up the bottle with both hands, lifting it to my lips and tilting my head backwards. This time I tried to ignore the burn and took several gulps, at least two shots worth, before throwing the bottle back onto the table. Vaas laughed at my expression as I shivered, sliding my tongue along my teeth and coughing.

I smiled, pride filling me as the sound of his laughter flitted through the air. I had made Vaas laugh. And this laughter wasn't evil or wicked or angry, it didn't make me cringe or freeze in fear. He was just amused, and that made me laugh.

Maybe it was just the booze but at that point the island had turned to mush beneath my feet, and the movement of the ocean sent all around me into rippling, curling waves. My head spun and I found myself clutching to the table to keep from falling out of my chair. What an intense sensation this was. How horrible and amazing and frightening and beautiful. I was awestricken at how only three small sips of the stuff could make me feel this way in such a short time.

I did my best to stand but immediately flopped back onto the chair beneath me, half of my weight misguided and sending me tumbling to the floor. I wasn't new to alcohol, I had drank before and I knew my body well enough to know this was some hardcore heavy shit. Maybe there was something else in it too? A drug of sorts? Never had something affected me in such a way. My body was limp, and it took more energy than it should have to get myself sitting upright again. When I managed to claw myself back into a seating position on my chair I looked across the table. Vaas was gone.

"Vaas?" I called out meekly. The Everclear was still on the table, so surely he would come back for what was left in the bottle sooner rather than later. I twisted around in the chair. "Vaas?" I hiccupped again, looking around for any sign of where he had gone.

I sat there for a few minutes, long enough that I became worried. The sun was climbing its way across the sky and eventually when about twenty minutes had passed I brought myself to my feet, balancing my weight on the table. What with my decision making skills being slightly deterred, it was at this moment that I was set on the idea of going to look for him. Maybe he was passed out somewhere or something. Maybe he needed my help.

And so I made the bold choice of putting one foot in front of the other and stumbling after him. This, however, was no easy feet. The floor writhed beneath me with every step, and my ankles knocked into one another every time I swung my leg. It was a long, heavy movement that required more concentration than I thought possible, swinging my knees up and outward so that my heel, arch, and then toes hit the ground in that order. "Vaas?" I hummed, my lips barely parting as they slurred thickly in my mouth. It was then that I saw another pirate walking past me, and I made my way toward him in sluggish determination. "'Scuse me!" I called.

He stopped and stared at me, or at least I think he was. He looked horrified, and before I could even ask the question he had already turned away from me and walked in the opposite direction. "Wait-no!" I called after him, swaying on my feet.

Somewhere between my yelling and his walking I felt the entire earth shift beneath me. The back of my heels scraped against the dirt and pain screamed through my scalp. It wasn't until the buildings slipped away from me that I realized I was being dragged by my hair across the ground. Rocks dragged down the back of my calves like fingernails as I kicked up dust all around me. I was doing my best to arch my back and get my feet underneath me but I couldn't catch my balance, and every time I seemed to get a foothold on the earth I went slamming back down on my hip, which ached with a dense pain.

My hands went up to my scalp and I dug my fingernails into the hand that was knotted in my hair, screaming. "Let go! D'you know who you're dealing with! Vaas'll kill you!" I screeched, my voice cracking.

I felt my body thump a few times up a set of stairs and I was pushed into a dark room. My room. We were in my little cabin. I fell to the ground, boneless, without any support from my own body as I collapsed like a wet towel in a heavy heap. "Who the fuck-?" I managed to steady myself on my hands and knees and peered up at my attacker. "V-Vaas!" I yelped, eyes widening with fear.

He grabbed my by the root of my hair again and hoisted me to my feet. "Why were you talking to him, huh?" he hissed. "What is this not good enough for you? Don't I take care of you? Huh?!" His words demanded an answer but I was too frightened to give one, and tears brimmed at my lashes as I quaked with fear. "Fuckin' answer me!" He screamed

"I was looking for you!" I squeaked, my heart racing beneath my bones. "You left and I thought you were hurt or something I don't know im sorry I tried to find you I was just looking for you and I didn't know where you went so I asked him-I asked where you had gone but he didn't know and then you- then you-!" My voice was cut off as he slammed his palm over my mouth.

He stared at me suspiciously, heavy breathes escaping his nose as he clenched his jaw. "You were looking for me?" he asked. I nodded. "You didn't do anything else?" I shook my head as much as I could manage between the restriction of his hands. He stared at me for a long time, sort of the way he had done last night, only this was a less desperate look behind his eyes. He was searching my face for a lie, testing me with his gaze and I prayed that my terror did not cause me to falter.

Slowly his hands relaxed, and although they did not grip me stiffly, they also did not remove themselves from my skin. His touch remained there, and one hand smoothed back my long hair while the other slid down my lips and off my chin.

My breath returned to me and I tried not to gasp as to shatter the perfect and fragile silence, my eyes holding his as his body loosened. Neither of us said anything; we only stared at one another as salty drops of water spilled silently from my eyes. Somewhere in the back of my mind a voice told me I wasn't going to cry one of these days; that eventually I would run out of tears.

The tension in the air was palpable, and in those minutes, alone in the cabin with only him, I found myself wondering if he was going to kiss me or kill me. The blood seemed to drain from my face and drop straight to my fingertips, a tingling sensation rolling through my body like a shock from a live wire. I felt my mind question first the sudden rise of this feeling and then my own wellbeing. Was I dying? Surely if Vaas had stabbed me no amount of adrenaline would keep me from feeling blood pool on my skin or flesh being slit open by sharp metal.

There was a small cut on my lips that was still healing from the day I had come to the island, a tiny gash that had now scabbed over and was on its way to being nothing but a memory. He ran his finger over it and my body responded instantaneously. It was like changing a TV channel to one without a signal: my body had become an incoherent jumble of static, tiny bits of me bounced around beneath my skin and my heart raced.

Perhaps it was the alcohol, perhaps I was just being brave, but I knew for a fact that what I was about to do was stupid. I stretched my neck slightly and tilted my chin upward, covering the small gap between us with only the slowest of movements.