Firehouse Kids: Severide's Daughter, Part VII

Shay brushed out her hair and put on Kelly's favorite Cub's jersey before going downstairs. At least he didn't pretend to be asleep when she sat down beside him. "That was very good parenting this afternoon with Darden."

His gaze met hers, but his expression didn't really change. "I'm learning."

Their hands were nearly touching, but not quite. Well, she wasn't going to make a further move. Silence echoed around them.

"I fixed the liquor cabinet," he said.

"Thanks." She brushed her fingertips against his hand.

In a flash, Kelly laced their fingers together tight. "You were right about Darden. She needs professional help."

Shay didn't relish being right about that. She nodded and leaned a little closer to him. "Plan on spending the rest of the night on the couch?"

The old smile, the one that could turn most women, including her sometimes, into jelly, crossed his face. "Is there somewhere else you want me to sleep?"

She got up and tugged on his hand. "Come on. I miss sharing a bed with my husband."

He didn't respond the way she had expected. He didn't sweep her up in his arms. An intensely soft vulnerability shaded his face. A tear ran down his check. Oh my god! Darden had actually been right! She touched his face. He was actually trembling.

"That's the first time you ever said that," Kelly said.

"Hey, this isn't you. This isn't us." She responded.

He wrapped his hand around then kissed her knuckles. "I get why you use your maiden name professionally. Plenty of women do that. But why do you always tell people we have an open marriage?"

She admitted the truth. Lying wasn't her style, but there were plenty of things she just preferred not to mention to Kelly. "It always seemed like the safe thing to do. You know, to keep me from looking like a fool, when you got bored and picked up something on the side."

"I've been faithful to you for over seventeen years!" Kelly said.

She heard growing anger in his voice. "I didn't ask you to be," she reminded him.

His reply was just as stern. "I wanted to be."

She had never intended to have this conversation with Kelly. This was supposed to be a cute make-up followed by a romp in bed or the shower or maybe both if they had enough energy because middle age hadn't diminished the sexual chemistry between them. Instead, Kelly had ripped open the vault and pulled out the radioactive plutonium of their relationship.

"How about you? Did you ever want anything on the side? You and Kendra use to go out all the time?" Kelly asked.

"Kendra and I have always been friends, never lovers." Not like us. "The last time I was in a lesbian bar was sixteen years ago, a couple of days after Darden and K2's first birthday. I hung out awhile. It didn't seem like my scene anymore, so I went home."

"And rode me like a Kentucky Derby champion," Kelly said. Then unexpectedly he smiled and reached up to caress her face. "I remember that night too. It was a great night."

She tried to bring the mood back to light-hearted. "First of many."

He nodded, then kissed her hand again. "Second of many. Neither of us really had that much to drink the night we made the twins."

And that killed the mood. One of the unwritten rules was that they didn't talk about that night. It wasn't supposed to have happened, but it did. And they had adapted to the consequences like two adults, but he wasn't suppose to mention it, at least not like this. "Why are you dredging all this up now?" Shay demanded.

He didn't retreat. "The twins are growing up. What happens when you decide you don't need a father for our kids anymore?"

She hoped dismissing his comments would be the end of them. "Kelly, this is stupid. They'll always need their father. Why do you have to question everything now? This works. We've been together seventeen years."

"I've been in love with you for twenty," he said.

It had always been just below the surface of their relationship even back in the day when Kelly was just her heterosexual best friend, but hearing him say it out loud she wasn't sure how to respond. There was a part of her that said it really didn't matter. But there was another side also a suspicion she had never been able to fully shake off that he had been too damn glad that what happened had happened and maybe he had been a lot less spontaneous that night than she allowed herself to believe the morning after the twins had been conceived. All those years ago had it really been completely an accident?

"How about you? Did you ever think about me before that night?" He asked.

"I didn't think about any men that way. Ever." She said.

"So I was the great exception that night?" Kelly asked.

Okay, that was almost too cocky. She almost wanted to reply with something stinging, but honesty won out. "You were my best friend. You are my best friend. The feelings we share can sometimes be overwhelming. That night your penis seemed like a minor inconvenience." That probably was the wrong way to explain it, but no other explanation seemed right either.

His face turned to flames. "A minor inconvenience!"

Looks like that had really stung after all. Even after seventeen years, she sometimes she forgot how Kelly's ego worked. Okay, how most men's egos worked. "That wasn't meant as an insult to your favorite body part." She wanted to be conciliatory, but her own frustrations were starting to bleed through. "Dammit, Kelly, do you want to get over this and make-up or are you want to act like a teenage brat a little longer."

At least he didn't say anything until his face returned to normal color. When he finally answered it was with his normal voice. "I want making up to mean more than just making love."

"Why isn't that enough? I had your kids. I pick up your dirty socks and wash out your underwear. What more do you want from me, Kelly?" She felt on the verge of tears. She hadn't realized how much this conversation would take out of her especially after discovering all the problems Darden had. It was ridiculous. She and Kelly needed to present a united front not continue squabbling. Instead it looked like she had two babies to deal with. Thank heaven, K2 seemed okay.

Suddenly, Kelly sat up from the couch. His arms went around her tight. "It's okay."

This was twice in one day that he had to hold her and calm her down. Their marriage usually didn't work that way. She didn't want it to work that way now. She pushed him away and got up from the couch.