Number 7112, we're ready for you at the front. Hey, you look familiar...

Yeah, I get that a lot.

Have you been here before?

No, but I think my cousin may have passed through... about a year ago? Its kind of sad really. The two of us used to be so close – best friends, even. But then we graduated and went our separate way. You know how it is.

My cousin had such big dreams about being a famous actor one day – totally had the skills, too. After graduation, well, I just worked a bunch of odd jobs. I really didn't have much ambition. I never really knew what I wanted to be.

Well, that's not true. I knew I wanted to be rich. The only problem was that I was never good enough at anything to make that happen.

From the day I was born, I was the definition of average. And growing up, too – always average height, average weight, average smarts, average looks. There was just nothing spectacular about me. I was destined to be just like everyone else. And, I hated it!

Now, like I said, my cousin and I used to be the best of friends. We tried to stay in touch for a while after graduation. Of course, neither of us were good at the whole pen-pal thing, and it didn't take long for the long distance phone calls to start getting expensive.

But, for that little bit of time while we were still keeping tabs on one another, 'Cuz called all excited about this audition. I didn't really understand since it seemed like it ended in disaster, but that was when I was told about the gift.

Now, I didn't believe it at first. I mean, really, who would? But, 'Cuz swore up and down that it happened – then, of course, came the dare that I had to totally try to do it too.

Apparently, the gift runs in the family. The gift is the ability to transform yourself into anyone.

I practiced and practiced, like, all the time. Well, in my spare time anyway – while I wasn't working as a cashier at the supermarket or the night shift at the Cineplex concession stand. And after a while, I managed to start becoming people without having to study their faces. I could work from a quick glance, a photograph, even a memory.

That's how it happened with Arianna Craig – head cheerleader and prom queen of my old high school. I decided I was fed up with average and wanted to see how the prettier half lived. Then, I confidently walked into a jewelry store, right up to the case full of the most expensive items, and asked to try on the most gorgeous necklace full of emeralds and champagne diamonds. As I was admiring myself in the mirror, the owner of the shop came out, marveled at my amazing taste, and offered me a job right on the spot.

Funny thing was, he didn't seem to notice that the application I filled out was the exact same as the three I previously turned in to him. Yeah, just try and tell that looks don't matter!

Well, I quickly found out that the guy was a total sleaze ball. I mean, what else do you call a guy who has a wife and three kids at home and still hits on all the female workers... and a lot of the richer female customers? Not only that, he was having about a dozen affairs with some of the regular (and married) clients.

So, one night, I was working late with him and the night security guard when the guy up and leaves after being paged by a wealthy almost-widow. The security guard, guy named Larry, gave me all the dirt on the fine up-standing man of the community that owned the jewelry shop. By the time I locked up, I was totally sick to my stomach with all the stories I had just heard.

Now, maybe I had a bit of a soft-spot for Mrs. Dirt-bag and the kids. After all, my own poor mother had to suffer through an abusive, cheating husband as well – until a self-inflicted bullet to the head ended all that. But I figured, if I couldn't save Mom the heartache, maybe I could help Mrs. Dirt-bag out a little.

It actually felt kind of good to change out of my Arianna mask. It gave me the endorphin-rush that I needed to go through with my plan – which was, of course, to become the manager, let myself into the store, rob it blind, and then find a pawn-shop to hock the stuff.

I had to try so hard not to laugh when I got the call the next morning – so sorry, shop is closed, manager arrested... The jerk tried to deny having any part in the robbery, but his face was all over the untampered-with video surveillance at both the jewelry store and the pawn shop. It also made things difficult when his alibi denied being with him – after all, if the 34-year-old bimbo admitted to the affair, her 84-year-old husband would have totally written her out of his will.

I had plenty of money to get by on for awhile. But, once you're used to having the cash, its really hard to live when it gets low. Of course, living the high life included going to all the best places and it wasn't hard to find another low-life to take the fall.

After a couple more jobs, it started to get harder. It wasn't easy to weed out the jerks to set up on such quick notice. And there was also the problem with all of them pleading innocent. Sooner or later, I thought someone might get suspicious.

Then came the liquor store job. That one was a turning point. I chose the shop because 1) the old guy who owned it was a jerk, and 2) most customers paid in cash and the guy only made deposits once a week. I mean, he was totally asking to get robbed!

Actually, it turned out that he was. Well, he was planning to rob himself anyway, then torch the place. That way, he'd get a double payoff. He'd get all the cash and he'd be reimbursed by his insurance company for the loss of money, product, and building.

Long story short, I got there first, got all the money and even picked up an expensive bottle of Grand Marnier cognac. The following morning I saw what happened after I left on the news. They had film footage of the owner robbing the place and then leaving, then coming back and getting upset and setting the place on fire while he calmly sat down behind the counter and just waited.

I really felt bad... for, like, a minute. That certainly made my life easier. And, that's how the new plan would go. I'd go in as a long-term employee, a never-in-a-million-years type, rob the place and then go home and perform a little assisted-suicide.

Life was working out great... until they showed up. It wasn't bad enough that some crazy security guard at the bank, Ronnie somebody, started asking a bunch of questions about the robbery and subsequent death of his apparently best friend Juan. No, then a couple of guys (admittedly hot guys) decide to come in and start playing detective – right in the middle of my recon!

I was able to escape being put in the vault with the other workers and customers, but these guys somehow knew that I was disguised as the bank manager. I changed masks in the nick of time, but things were getting out of control. One of the older guards started getting chest pains and I panicked – the two guys were going to let him out and I tried to offer to help, but they turned me down. What's worse, one of them asked me to talk with him.

Don't know if you know this, but another part of the gift is super-fast reflexes. I got past both guys and Ronnie, and managed to hide myself. The only problem was that everyone else was still in the vault and none of us were able to get out of the bank. And, the two hotties were still searching for me. I only had one brilliant plan left.

I had to act fast. I changed my appearance again just as the taller guy opened the door to the closet I was hiding in. I don't know if you ever seen a possum play dead before, but that little critter's got nothing on me. I fell limp and bloody from the closet, with Sherry's face – the same girl that had been flirting with the two guys that had taken her hostage – the twit.

But, the guys had one final trick up their sleeves as well. Next thing I hear is Sherry screaming above me and then fainting. Listening to them talking, I thought I was finally home-free. There was no way they could believe Sherry was the real one – I was the one lying there apparently dead!

But I guess the police had finally gotten fed up and began bursting into the bank. I knew that I wouldn't get away from the police if they had Sherry and I both, and worse, what would happen if they started looking into my other crimes?

While the guys were distracted, I made my move. I grabbed the smaller guy and hit him a few times, then ran. Only, this time, he caught up to me. Super-fast speed can only do so much in hand-to-hand combat, and I had never really had to fight before. I held on for a while, but the dude stabbed me with a letter opener. A letter opener! Of all things...

Well, I guess that Dean Winchester is two-for-two with my family. Hope he's happy with himself!