Author's note: "updates will be regular in a week or two" I said. A month ago. Lmao. I've finished College for the year at last so I really am free now but I can't promise regular updates because I am lazy a k.

ANYWAY, I think we left off with Enoby being racist, Sirius and Lucius are BFF's and Enoby has to go back in time and seduce Voldemort LMAO.

Enjoy xx

Chapter 28.

AN: I sed stop gflmaing da story it wuz a miskat wen profsor relory sed dat ok!11111111 what. did I miss a chapter or is she hallucinating scenes again?GO 2 FOKENG HELL!1111 U SUK! fangz 2 fily 4 da help!1! raven hav fun wif kiwi!1111111 who the fuck is fily and why is raven friends with a fruit?

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We went in2 a blak room. The what room? What room is this? The wallz were blak Y'know, I figured this when she said the black room cos we all know this bitch is not creative except when it comes to describing her wish list on Hot Topic. with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, GC and Marlin Mason all over them.Are these three not very different genres? I mean I can see Marilyn Manson being a 'gothic' artist but My Chemical Romance is more 13 year old edgy wee girls and Good Charlotte are just fuckin shite. I actually just got an ad for Good Charlotte today, they're having a UK tour. Again, I forgot they were even a thing… and so has everyone else. A big black coffin was in the middle. Amazing. Red vevlet lined da blak box. Is it visible from the outside or is she doing that thing again where she magically knows things without actually seeing them? There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem. I'm pretty sure that's violating a couple health and safety rules. I wuz wearing a blak corset bar wif purple stuff on it, fishnet suckings and a blak leather thong underneath. Ow? Leather bras are one thing but leather thongs? I'm sore thinking about that.

I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. I'm not sure what that word means. Isn't it like.. sharing something with a lot of people? Like to disperse something? Hang on I'll google it. "Disperse – distribute or spread over a wide area" yeah I was right. Wrong word babe. She probably meant 'depressingly' #descriptive. So did Drako and Vampire. And then they all held hands and sang Kumbaya, My Lord.

"Are you okay?" Vampir asked potting his albastard hand on mine. I just thought of like a corpse touching her and now I'm grossed out. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it. Thank you for telling me all about how you both got your nails done earlier, I would be lost elsewise.

"Yah I guess." I said sadly. Drako also pot his hand on mine sexily. How do you put your hand on someone else's 'sexily'? I'll ask the boyfriend. "I'd say slow and softly but that's creeping towards rapey and obviously not WWE Smackdown hard. Try to find that sweet middle. Maybe wrap a bow tie around your wrist because that makes you look slick as fuck" hysterical. "idk im not a very sexy guy, I usually show up with a pizza and go from there" protip this works everytime. Take notes Draco I smiled sadly with my blak lipstick. Does your lipstick control your emotions? Does she have some magic lipstick that changes colour with your mood? Because that's amazing, I want some. "The problem is….I have to seduce Volxemort. Ill have 2 go bak in time" Was the suspense necessary? Also have you seen what teenage Voldemort looks like? Motherfucker I would be throwing a party.

Draco started to cry sadly. Of course he did. Vampire hugged him.

"Itz okay Eboby." he said finally. "But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?" I can just imagine Enoby and Harry sitting in awkward silence while Draco cried like a bitch, waiting on his answer.

"Of coarse not!" I gasped. Have these two even established if they're in a relationship? Or have I just repressed that scene?

"Really?" he asked.

"Sure." I said.

We frenched sexily. Vampire looked at us longingly. That's just… really weird tbh.

Then… I took off Draco's MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants. Oh god they're not gonna fuck in front of Harry are they? That's just really inappropriate. He was hung lik a stallone. Does Sylvester Stallone have a big dick? I don't really wanna research that. To quote the boyfriend "he's built like a tank but idk about downstairs" He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said Enoby on it. That's convenient. Black roses were around it. Tacky. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Gerard Way. Please no. Vampire took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4). So this was planned in advance? Did he just carry around a camera in case you and Draco spontaneously decide to have sex in front of him?

I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH im getting this tattooed bye.

We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. Is Harry gonna squeeze in there too? He put his spock WHY IS HE INSERTING LEONARD NIMOY INTO YOU? in my you-know-what and passively we did it. Passively returns yet again as unbelievably the wrong word.

"I love you Eboby. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u." is he not inside you right now? he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Vampire filmed everything perfectly. Aren't you in a coffin? Suddenly….

"WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!"

It was….Snope and Profesor McGoggle!111 Nice, orgy time. Also why are these two hanging out?

Chapter 29.

AN: sot das fok up!11 ur jus jelouz koz ur prepz so fok u!1111 raven u rok gurl fangz 4 da help MCR ROX 666!111111111111

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"Oh my satan!1" oh. My. Satan. That shit's just exhausting to say tbh we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin. Did they all say it at the same time? Is this a pantomime? Snap and Professor McGoonagle started to shoot at us angrily. School shooter twist, this time the teachers are getting their go.

"CUM NOW!1!" Preacher McGongel yielded.Suddenly we're in catholic school? Or is Mcgonagall a dominatrix with a massive priest kink? We did guiltily. They came on command. Guess they have a humiliation kink, who knew. We left the room putting on our clothes. Walk of shame. Snoop garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket. Yeah snoop dogg showed up and stroked the last of the Celebrations chocolates. What a cunt.

"Hey what the fuck!111" Vampire shooted angrily. Oh yeah this was his time to let his voyeurism out.

"Yeah buster what the fuck are u going to do with the fucking camera?" "buster" amazing. The last person I have ever heard use this term was my 70 year old history teacher about 8 years ago. Draco demonded all protective, looking at me Longley with his gothic red eyes.thats really weird. And if he's trying to be threatening towards snape, it might help if he wasn't make heart eyes at you, for fucks sake. "Look, Dumblehor noes your little secret ? what secret? This was no secret? Everyone fucking knows? Dumbledore was like the first person to seem them fuck (read: rape) so how is this a secret?and if u do dis again, then u will go to St Mango's. The magical school for fruits. Sounds vaguely homophobic. So give back da camera!1111" Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought anything that was electronic didn't work around magic? Like I know Colin Creevy had a camera but it was magical (?) or at least wasn't electronic, so I don't understand how these people are getting video cameras to work?

Hahahaha the Mystery of Mogic thinks he is crazy there is no way dey wil believe him. Snoop laughed meanly. This is true but most people don't think this so they generally listen to Dumbledore, because a lot of people believe him about most things.

"Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!" yelled Proffesor McGoggle. She made us cum into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these werid tools in it. Draco started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol tom felnot rulez 4 lif but nut as muxh as gerard ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111). I'm just wildly confused by this entire paragraph. What the fuck does sexitive mean? Is she making a play on sensitive and sexy? Cos that's wrong on so many levels. And doesn't she want to be related to Gerard Way? Because she has an incest kink?

I started to cry tearz of blood (it hapnz in vrampir kroniklz raven sed so ok so fok u!1). still no, get that looked at. Vampire took out a black honkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes. Harry's everyone's nan who keeps tissues tucked up their sleeves.

And then….. he and Snoop both took out guns using magic. Yeah… no.They started to shoot each other angrily. Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet. I took out my wand. Remember the first half of this story where there was no mentions of wands at all? And now we're getting guns AND wand fights. Amazing. Who brings a gun to a wand fight anyway?

"Crosio!" I shouted. Snap stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets. What. I STOPPED DA CURSE. Aggressive Profesor McGoogle did a spell so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools. Den she said "OK Serverus I'm going 2 go now." She left. Snap started to laugh evilly. Vampire started to cry. What the fuck is going on.

"It's ok Enoby." said Draco. "Evergreen will be all right. Remember the cideo u took of Snake." Don't think that's gonna help much right now considering you're all chained up.

Snape laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!1!1111 oh my god I don't think I want to know where this is going.

Chapter 30.

AN: stop flaming da story ok u dnot no wutz even gona happen ok!1111 so FUL U!111 if u flam u wil be a prep so al flamerz kan kiss muh ass!111 soz 4 soz 4 sayin alzhimers is dongerous but datz da mysteries opinin koz sosiety basically sux. What the fuck? What the fuck. fangz 2 raven u rok bich!111

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"No!11" we screamed sadly. I don't think I wanna read this BDSM scene, like at all. Snap stated loafing meanly. He… started baking bread? Bit random but ok. He took out a kamera anvilly. WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE CAMERAS. YOU ARE FUCKING WIZARDS MY DUDES. And how do u take out a camera evilly? Like a slow motion reveal or something? Idk.Then… he came tords Darko!1! Everytime she fucks up Draco's name so bad. Fucking wild. Also I have read Draco/Snape fanfic and I don't ever want to go back there. He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Draco and nit a candle. What is happening? Is this meant to be satanic ritual or something? What's with the stones?

"What the fuck r u doing!" I shooted arngrily. Snoop laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. Please god no I don't want to read this. I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11! UUUHHHHMMMMMM. Voldemort brands his followers personally does he not? Now I'm thinking of Voldemort branding Snape's dick. Fucking hell, ow?

He waved his wand and a nife came. He gave da knife 2 me. What the hell is going on? He just pulled his robes down to reveal his branded penis and then gave you a knife? Isn't she chained up?

"U must stab Vrompire." he said to me. "If u don't then I'll rap Draco!1" This is meant to be a commentary but honestly my brain is just screaming WHAT THE FUCK repeatedly with every sentence I read.

"No you fucking bastrad!1" I yielded. She said no but she also said yielded which makes me think she agreed to it. Also how hard is it to fuck up the word 'yelled'?

But den Draco looked at me sadly with his evil goffik red eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy.Really not the time to be thinking about how sexy your boyfriend is considering you are all being held hostage and a naked man is threatening to rape your boyfriend if you don't stab your friend. He lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist) that makes no sense, shut up between Kurt Cobain and Gerard. Both very handsome dudes but a cross between the two would be really gross considering the Gerard Tara is thinking of is circa Helena music video which is a no from me. I only find Gerard attractive from Danger Days album and onwards. Emo doesn't really do it for me. But then I looked at Vampire and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik black hair. How sexy someone is shouldn't dictate whether or not you're gonna stab them. I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Draco and Dumblydore came and the tame where Draco almost commited suicide and Vampire wuz so sportive. Ok she's horned out as fucked, we get it but when the fuck was Vampire supportive when Draco 'killed' himself? Is this a missing scene or something?

Snipe laughed angrily. He started to prey to Volxemort. Voldemort has finally ascended to god form. He started to do an incapacitation he's beheading people? dancing around the stokes whipping Draco and Vampire. This is not a kink I subscribe to, sorry. Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Drako and Vampire so they would destruct Snape. Since when did she have these powers? Also Draco and Harry are gonna make Snape spontaneously combust? How?

"Dumbeldork will get u!" Draco shooted. Dumbledork, that's hysterical.

"Yah just wait ubtil da Mystery find out!11" Vampire yelled. Harry is well aware the ministry of magic is fucking useless and will not help him at all. When have they ever. Meanwhile I took out my wand. You are chained up, shut up, no you didn't.

"You ridiculus dondderhed!111" Dondderhed. Amazing. Snoop yielded. He took off all of Drico's clothes. Just as he was about to rape him…. Oh Christ.

"Crosio!" I shited pointing my wound. Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming. Snape has an extremely high pain tolerance if he can still move will being crucioed Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Serious. I stopped doing crucio. Now she has a phone. And so does Sirius. This is impossible.

"You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-" shooted Snape but suddenly Serverus came. ? wheh. Snape saved you from Snape? Is this some time turner bullshit?

Snake put the whip behind his bak. "Oh hello Sev I wuz just teaching them sumthing." he lied. IS HE NOT NAKED? IS DRACO NOT NAKED? ARE THEY NOT ALL CHAINED UP? WHAT THE FUCK. But suddenly Lusian and Profesor Trevolry came in2 da room and they and Serious unlocked the chains and put dem around Snap. Then Profesor Trevolry said 'Come on Ebony let's go." Yeah no one cares you three have been captured, come on bitch time to go.

Chapter 31.

AN: I sed shut da fok up u quiephs!111 You whats? What is that supposed to say?stop kalin ebony a mary su ok u dnot even no wutz gong 2 happen ok so fuk u!1111 fangz 2 muh bff raven 4 di help!1111

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"I always knew u were on Voldemort's side, you sun of a bitca (bufy rox!111)."Im gonna assume she means Buffy the Vampire Slayer which is a show I'm a fan of and there is no reference here towards Buffy that I am aware of. Serious said 2 Snape.

"No I'm not I was teaching them somefing!1" Snap clamed. You are naked, you have the dark mark on your penis, Draco is naked and all three are chained to a wall. What could you possibly have been teaching them that is legal?

"Oh fucking yeah?" I took some blak Volremortserum yeah she just carries it around with her all the time, no big. out of my poket and gave it to Serverus. He made Snap dirnk it. He did arngrily. This makes it sound like Sirius just handed it to Snape and Snape drank it willingly. Also I'm pretty sure a potions master like Snape would carry around a couple antidotes to veritaserum. Then Luscious took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Snap. Lucius is on Snape's side, this is a poorly kept secret, why would he be there? Then Proffesor Sinister and Lucian made us get out wif them while Snape told his secretes. I imagine this is because Snape just started telling everyone about the wet dreams he's had about Lily. Lucian took Vampure and Draco to the nurse after thanking me a millon times. Why would Lucius care about Harry being ok? Profesor Trevolry took me to a dark room. Oh god not more porn Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce Volxemort. I wish I was. Moving posters of MCR and Nrivana were all over.No. Hermoine, Darkness and Willow came too. B'loody Mary gave me a blak bag from Tom Rid's store. Why is Tom Riddle and Voldemort separate characters? They're the same person! Also yeah, here's a bag full of totally useless shit for you going back in time. If there's condoms and lube in there I might cry.

"Whatz in da bag?" I asked Profesor Trevolry.

"U will c." she said. I opened thee bag. In it was a sexy tite low-smut black leather gothic dress. It had red korset stuff and there was a silt up da leg. I put it on. My frendz helped me put on blak fishnetz and blak pointy boots Willow had chosen. Willow and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blod-red lipshtick. WHY DO YOU NEED A NEW DRESS AND SHOES TO GO BACK IN TIME GOD DAMN IT. The dress described reminds me of CL's during G-Dragon's ACT III Motte concert, at least it was pretty.

"You look fucking kawaii, bitch." B'loody Mary said. #destroyallweebs

"Fangs." I said. I'm saying this forever.

"Ok now you're going to go back in tim." said Proffesor Sinister. "U will have to do it in a few sessionz." She gave me a blak gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnetz like in Redisnet Evill. You mean. A gun holster. Also how is she going to hide a gun under a form fitting dress? And she's not going to be allowed to go around carrying a gun, especially because it's illegal in the UK unless you are certified by police (and the people that do, are usually hunters) AND you have to be 18. You are 17. Also just from a quick google search, it is a very lengthy process that involves background and medical checks as well as where you're gonna store and have someone that has known you for 2 years that has an 'honest reputation' to vouch for you. Basically, she's not going to be allowed to. Then she gave me a black time-tuner. "After an hour use da time torner to go back here." Does not seem like enough time but whatever. Proffesor Trevolry said. Then she and B'loody Mary put a Pensive in front of me. Why do you need a pensive? Every1 went in front of it.

"Good luk!1" Everryone shooted. Darkess and Willow gave me deth's touch sin.Is that an STD? Then….. I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive. How do you jump sexily? How does that work? Like jump and land in a slut drop? And you can't use a pensive to go back in time.

Suddenly I was in fornt of teh School. So is she in someone's memory or is this bitch just really ignorant of harry potter lore and is actually back in time? Because the time turner only takes you back in time in the same plaIn front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz I had ever seen. He was wering long blak hair wearing. Is it a wig?, kinda like Mikey Way only black. Mikey way is not attractive. He had gren eyes like Billie Joe Amstrung and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped up suit wif Vans. This is the late 30's/early 40's. Vans didn't exist until 1966. It was….Tom Bombodil!1111 who the fuck is that?

Chapter 32.

AN: I sed stup fflaming I no his nam iznt tom bodil dat wuz a mistak!1111 Who the fuck was it meant to be?if u dnot lik de story den u kan go skrew urself!11111 U SUK!111111

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"Hi." I said flirtily. "Im Enoby Way da new student." Straight in there with the flirting. I knew she was lying to Draco about being sad about this. And I love how she's just shown up unannounced and landed straight in front of him. Voldemort is pretty dang smart like I imagine he would have noticed something was amiss when a random goth chick wearing really weird clothes just appeared out of nowhere and started flirting with himI shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif him. She always has black nails, stop reminding us.

"Da name's Tom." he said. "But u kan call me Satan. Datz ma middle nam" oh my dear god are we about to see Voldemort's edgy phase?

We shok hands. You already did this "Well come on we have 2 go upstairs." Satan said. ? he just accepts this? The fuck? I followed him. "Hey Satan…..do u happen to be a fan of Gren Day?" (sinz mcr and evinezenz dont exist yet den) ? NEITHER DO GREEN DAY? ALL OF THE MEMBERS WERE BORN IN 1972? THIS IS LIKE 1944/1945 IF TOM'S IN HIS FINAL YEAR.I asked.

"Oh my fuking god, how did u know?" Satan gasped. "actually I like gc a lot too."(geddit coz gc did that song I just wanna live that's ounded really 80s) 80's. 8 0 ' S. THIS IS 1945. Does that song even sound 80's? Oh god I'm gonna have to YouTube it, right hang on. Ok, no, it sounds 00'S, which is when the song came out, so now to remove that from my history.

"omg me too!" I replied happily.

"guess what they have a concert in hogsment." satan whispered. Siggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

"hogsment?" I asked. Oh that was on purpose.

"yeah that's what they used to call it in these time before it became Hogsmeade in 2000." How. The fuck. Would he know. This is 1945. You are from 1998, so there's a massive plot hole there.he told me all sekrtivly. "and theres a really cool shop called Hot-" oh god no don't say it please don't.

'topic!" I finshed, happy again. WHY GOD WHY. Also Hot Topic was founded in 1988.

He froned confusedly. "noo its called Hot Ishoo." Oh for fucks sake. He smiled skrtvli how do you fuck up secretly that badly.again. "then in 1998 dey changd it to hot topic." he moaned. Well at least he got the year right this time but again how would he know and this is not true. And we still don't have Hot Topic here.

"ohh." now everything was making sense for me. "so is dumblydor your princepill?" I shouted. Why are you shouting.

"uh-huh." he looked at his black nails. "im in slitherin'" No He's not, it's Armando Dippet. Dumbledore was the transfiguration teacher.

"OMfG SHME TOO!" I SHRIEDKED. Stop screaming. And how would you know? You're 'new'.

"u go to this skull?"(geddit cos im goffik) he asked. No that doesn't make sense

"yah that's why im here im NEW." I SMELLED HAPPili. You smelled happy, how does that work?

Suddenly dumblydore flew in on his broomstuck and started shredding at us angrily. "NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!" he had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters. "STUPID GOFFS!" What drugs is Dumbledore on? American Eagle Outfitters was founded in 1977.

satan rolled his eyes. "his so mean to us goffs and punks just becose we're in slytherine and we're not preps." Ohhhh my god. What am I supposed to say to this?

I turned around angrily. "actually I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord." Spoiler alert.

"wtf?" he asked angrily.

"oh nuffin." I said sweetly. Wow she's certainly well on her way to making herself out to be a crazy bitch. Stick to your strengths girl.

then suddenlyn…. the floor opened. The what."OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly." The FLOOR opened up and you fell through it and they're looking at YOU weirdly?

"hey where r u goin?" satan asked as I fell. Oh, you know, just popping down to the shops, you want anything?

I got out of the hole n it was bak in the pensive in professor trevolry's classroom. So not only have you magically appeared in front of Voldemort, you've now magically disappeared dumblydum wuz dere. "dumblydore I think I just met u." I said.

"oh yeah I rememba that." dumblydor said, trying to be all goffik. "trying to be all goffik" amazing. Dumbledore just wants to be down with the kids, yo.

sinister came in. "hey dis is my classroom wait wtf enoby what da hell r u doing?" damn bitch it thought I was rid of you forever, why are you back?

:"um." I looked at her.

"oh yeaH I forgot bout that."

"wth how?" I screamed forgetting she was a teacher for a second. but shes a goff so its ok. Someone's personal style does not dictate how you speak to a teacher, dumbass.

professor sinster looked sad. "um I was drinking voldemortserum." she started to cry black tears of depression. Black. Tears. Of depression. Right. Also voldemortserum? Am I the only one whose mind went to Voldemort's semen in a glass? dumblydum didn't know about them. Didn't know about what?

"hey r u crying tears of blood?" he asked curiously, tuching a tear. AT LAST SOMEONE QUESTIONS IT. But also wow totally not the time dude.

"fuck off!" we both said and dumblydum took his hand away. Imagine telling the most powerful wizard in the world to fuck off. Wow. That's like suicide.

professor sinster started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears. She went from black to normal tears immediately. Nice. "omfg enoby…I think im addicted to Voldemortserum." Yeah im still thinking semen in a jar…

AN: SEE U FOKKING PREPZ GO FOK URSELXXZ DATZ SERUS ISSUZ 2O GO 2 HELL!1111112
how is this a serious issue? If she's trying to cover drug addiction this is gonna be woeful.

Chapter 33.

AN: I sed shut up itz nut my folt ok if u don't lik da story den ur a prep so fuk u flamerz!1111 ps im nut updating ubtil u giv me fiv god reviewz nd diz tim I men it!111111 U SUK!1111 fangz raven 4 di help il promiz to help u wif ur story lolz1 oh god now she's got a story? Can't wait to read that.

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"Oh my fuking god!1" I shooted sadly. "Shud we get u 2 St Manga's, bitch?" Now we have upgraded from St. Mango's to St. Manga's the weeb's are taking over.

"Hel no!" she said. "Lizzen Egogy, Egogy. I'm changing my name to Egogy.I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask Tom Andorson 4 sum help?" Who the fuck is Tom Andorson? Is this gonna be a running joke, no one can get Tom Riddle's name right so they just give him a new last name everytime. And why the fuck would you go back to 1945 to ask a 17 year old for help with drug addiction?

"Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Draco was there!111 she's really excited about this.He wuz wearing a big blak GC tshit which wuz his panamas. He owns the Republic of Panama? Nice

"Hey Sexxy." I said.

"How'd it go Enoby?" he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when hes talking. Right…

"Fine." I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da dorm. Once again, a riveting conversation.

"How far did u go wif Satan?" Drako asked jealously. Really mate? Really?

"Not 2 far, lol." I borked. She… borked? Is she a fucking furry now? The fuck?

"Will you hav to do it with him?" Draco asked angstily. How the fuck is she supposed to now? I always got the impression that Voldemort was an aromantic asexual, but that's just me.

"I hop not 2 far!111" I shouted angrily. Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched. That was fast.

"What happened 2 Snipe?" I growled. Are you not in the middle of making out?

"U will see." Draco giggled mistressly. He giggled what? He opened a door…Snap nd Lumpkin who the fuck is Lumpkin? werz there!11 Serious waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife. What the fuck does that say?

"NOOOO PLZ!1111" Lumpkin bagged as Serious started 2 suk his blood. I laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Snap bing torqued. Ok what the fuck.(ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Snap trid 2 rap dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz)what the fuck does shark attack 3 have to do with anything?. We took sum of Snipe's blod den Drako and I went bak 2 our roomz.why… are you taking his blood? We sat on my goffik blak coffin. My cloves were kinda drity so I pot on a blak leather outfit fingie kinda like da 1 Suelene haz in Undreworld.that's just far too much effort and uncomfortable. (if u haven't herd of it den FUK U!111)I mean I enjoy the Underworld movies but that's still too much I mean would you not have to rub fucking Vaseline all over yourself to slide into that fucking thing? . I put on some blak platform high heelz. Darko put on 'desolition liverz' by MCR. Den….we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez. So you got all dressed up in the most awkward outfit in the world only to immediately take it off? I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz. I doubt that.We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge. What the fuck? He pot his wetnes his what? in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy. You had an orgy, uhm how?

"Oh Draco!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Draco!1111" I screemed passively STOP SAYING PASSIVELY IT'S UNBELIEVABLE THE WRONG WORD. as he got an eructation. So he's been fucking you this whole time and only now he's getting hard?

"I luv u TaEbory." he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol. Taebory? Did you forget to erase your entire name from your fantasy, Tara?

AND I think we'll leave it there for now!