I'm Just Your Problem Chapter 7
I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender or any of its characters or the title or the song "I'm Just Your Problem" by Rebecca Sugar
*This fanfiction is not related to Adventure Time I was listening to this song while thinking of this story idea and it stuck
After that little meltdown I went back to sleep, Mother didn't question me but she left the tea behind next to my futon. Since my throat was dry I had no choice but to drink it. As soon as I was done I slept for hours; I felt the rays of sunlight disappear from my face. The air became cooler and I could hear the nocturnal animals make their way through the forest. Those cries used to be my lullabies at night; they helped me get to sleep easier. Back when I was at peace in the forest of mystery. But now I'm here, not only a prisoner in my mind but a prisoner inside a house that has only brought me painful memories.
I woke up when I felt my stomach growling, I couldn't ignore it anymore. I stood up a little and stared into outer space. I wasn't paying attention to anything in particular and I certainly wasn't going to call for anyone to bring me food. I didn't want to see anyone of those people! But seeing as how I'm the luckiest girl alive I heard a knock on the wall. I didn't turn my head to see who it was though. That person was holding something that smelled like freshly cooked food.
"Azula," a voice said.
"Zuko," I addressed.
"I brought you some dinner."
"Of course you did. You were always Mr. Goody Good."
"I'll take that as a 'come in,'" Zuko said as he walked toward me.
I took a quick peek at the food he held on a tray: a pair of chopsticks, there was a bowl of rice, a bowl of noodle soup, a plate of two steamed fish and another cup of tea. Well it smelled decent at least. He sat down next to me and placed the tray in front of him. I knew he did that on purpose, he wanted me to turn around and face him. My head was telling me no but my stomach was saying yes. My stomach won this time. I turned toward him but I didn't look him in the eye. I picked up the chopsticks and started to eat the soup. It burned a little but that didn't stop me.
"At least you have an appetite," Zuko said as he gave me a sad smile.
"Don't pity me Zuko."
"I'm not pitying you Azula, I just worry about you."
I stopped eating and gave him a look. I put the bowl of soup down but I didn't remove it from my hands. Where was he going with this?
"You and Mother just can't take the hint can you?"
"What hint might that be?"
"To stay out of my business and my life."
I went back to eating the soup and I was done with it in three minutes, I moved to the fish next. It wasn't as good as the way I made them when I in the forest but it'll have to do. I chowed down on the first one then ate the second one not long after. I took a quick sip of tea and started to eat the rice.
"I can't believe you managed to survive that long out there… when we found you it amazed me how much better off you looked. Your clothes and hair were a mess but your spirit seemed lighter."
Zuko reminded me of my current appearance, I guess Mother changed me when I was forced back here. I didn't know where my original clothes were at this point. I was now wearing a light red robe with light pink designs at the end of the sleeves and around the neck area. The tie around my waist was a light pink color too. My hair was combed but it was still down. The rice was done and my stomach was content now.
"I'm a survivor Zuko, I always have been," I stated. "And… I guess in a way you are too… as much as it annoys me to admit it. You survived through the same things I did only instead of an idiot brother you had to deal with an insane sister. An abusive father, an abandoning mother and an insane sister."
"You're not insane Azula."
I gave him a look showing that I didn't believe him. He let out a sigh and rubbed his head.
"Okay I will admit that I use to think that but… after everything that's happened between us these last few days I realized something. You're just confused and misunderstood."
"Don't you dare call me that!" I shouted. "Don't act as if you figured me out Zuko! You always had the love of someone… real love… not love that someone gives you because they something in return. I've never had that! You've always had the effect on people, you're just a likable person and people prefer to be around you. While I… I was born to be alone and I will die alone!"
"Azula don't say that," Zuko said as he tried to touch me.
"Don't touch me! Don't do what she tried to do!"
"You mean Mother?"
"Who else do I despise as much as you? Go back to her, that's all you've been whining about ever since she left."
"She was only doing what she thought was right when she left Azula."
"How long are you going to defend her Zuko? After all the pain she has put you through you still forgive her!"
Zuko gave me an annoyed look then got closer to me, I flinched a little. He actually looked mad!
"Because I don't want to be overtaken by hate Azula!" Zuko yelled. "I let that happen once before… after my banishment and after I was given this scar!"
He pointed to the scar that forever sealed his identity as the "Fire Lord's greatest embarrassment," I remembered his screams of torment as Father branded him out of disgust and hate. Such joy I held that day because not only was Zuko's banishment official but my title as the one true heir of the Fire Nation was too. Of course this was before everything went to ruins.
"Because of my hate I did horrible things to innocent people and I pushed away the people who cared about me the most," Zuko added. "You can deny that we're similar all you want Azula but at the end of the day I know what it feels like to be full of hate and to be afraid of something that can hurt you."
I turned my head away and pulled my knees to me. I wrapped my arms around them then I closed my eyes. I didn't want to hear his words!
"Aang and his friends left already, we told them that is was a family matter."
It was then that I let out a cruel laugh; I took my arms off my knees and clutched my stomach. I couldn't stop my laughter from coming out. Zuko only stared at me with a puzzled expression on his face. After a few seconds I turned to Zuko and gave him a serious look.
"Zuko, you can lump yourself with that supposed family all you want but don't you ever lump me with them. They are not my family and Mother lost her right to call herself that a long time ago."
"Azula… I wish you would change you opinion about her. If you would let her in I know you would find a sense of peace and happiness. Mother does love you regardless of what you may think and she wants to you to be a part of this family."
I felt my anger start to boil; the raging emotions inside me were battling each other. They were waiting to come out and show the world the eternal struggle I was locked in. Family! What is a family? I don't know really but I know that this isn't one!
"I refuse to be a part of anything that relates to that woman. Trust me Zuko nothing would make me happier than to rip out the vile blood I share with her! What makes you think that I want to be a part of that woman's 'family'… you know the 'family' she started when she was pretending to be someone else and made memories with while using another's face."
"How long are you going to bring that up Azula, Mom said that she made a mistake and she feels guilty for what she did. Ikem feels guilty too for allowing it to go on for so long."
"I only mention it because you refuse to acknowledge it. You choose to forgive and forget but that's not how the real world works Zuko. In the real world you accept the facts and you deal with it the only way you know how. Anger is the only way I know how to handle a situation like this and I only act like this because you refuse to do something about it. If I had left it up to you Mother would've continued to live that façade and she would've gotten to live her happily ever after without facing reality! You would've made Ikem's life easier by doing that too! She lied to us and right in front of our faces! She even had a brat when she was busy fooling the world."
"Her name is Kiyi, Azula," Zuko corrected. "And she is our sister."
"Stop lumping me with that woman! That brat is not my sister even if we share the same mother."
Zuko didn't say anything for a moment but then he made his way toward me. I moved back a little only for him to grab me in a hug.
"Azula, I just want this to work out. I want us to be a family and I want you to be a part of it… please don't close your heart to us. We just want to help you, I know you think that this is all a trick but it isn't. No one is perfect and Mom knows she made a mistake when it came to us but she's trying to make up for it now."
I leaned into his hug and unlike Mother I didn't struggle or try to fight the attention he was giving me.
"Easy for you to say… she didn't have a son. She had a daughter… the perfect daughter… the daughter she always wanted with the man she wanted to spend her life with. I don't understand how you can do it Zuko."
"Who said it was easy? When I went to go see Mother while she was still 'Noriko' it hurt like crazy to see how happy she was. Knowing that I couldn't have made her that happy when she was still at the palace hurt. Knowing that we were born from a loveless marriage hurt. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a little mad though at first, mad at Ikem, mad at Kiyi and mad at her. They had the family that I was wanted, the family that I had been denied. It felt like they stole her away from me."
My eyes widen with shock and I faced Zuko. He gave me a gentle smile and tighten his hug around me. I never would've thought that Zuko held these dark feelings within him. He felt the same way I did but I wouldn't admit it to him… at least not right now.
"What made you change your mind?" I asked.
"Her smile, I realized that it would've been selfish of me to ruin that smile simply out of anger and hatred. Like I said I saw what those emotions made me turn into and I didn't want to repeat that mistake."
"Oh Zuko… you really are Mr. Goody Good," I responded.
"Thank you."
"It wasn't a compliment."
"I know but it didn't sound like an insult either."
I didn't say anything to that and he suddenly let me go. He caressed my face for a moment and took in the sister that was in front of him. I took in the brother that was in front of me. I noticed how his scar didn't seem so ugly or distracting anymore. If anything it actually looked beautiful and comforting in a strange way.
"While I can't change the past, I can at least change the future by being there for you. I hope you accept my help but most importantly I hope you accept my love. Azula, my sister."
I looked down at the floor; my heart beat became calm and relaxed. Did Zuko really want to help me? Did he really love me? My own brother wanted to be there for me even with the dysfunctional relationship we had all of our lives.
"Please think about it… if you can't let all of us in… at least let me in first then let others in."
With that said Zuko stood up, he picked up the tray along with the cooking ware. His face was full of hope and he walked toward the door. But I didn't want him to leave… not yet… not until he answered the question that had been buzzing round in my head for a while.
"Zuko wait," I called out to him.
"Yes?"
"Do… do you think I'm just a problem?"
Zuko looked at me one last time and gave me a smile. A genuine smile.
"No, no I don't. Whenever you need me I'll be here because I promise I'll make you stop feeling that way."
Zuko left me alone with my thoughts. I placed me hands over my heart and I felt the calming rhythm of it. Maybe… maybe I could learn to let him in… not Mother though. I was still angry at her and I probably would never believe the lies she said but Zuko didn't speak lies. His words were genuine and his feelings wanted to reach me. If only I allowed it, I made my decision.
"Okay Zuko I'll accept you… but only you. Only you," I said aloud to myself.
Azula has let Zuko into her heart but will she allow her mother into it as well or will she continue to deny the love Ursa has always had for her?
Please review and leave comments, thank you for your time.
