Chapter 6: Filling the Role
Castien
My role in Thranduil's house was Prince Legolas's personal butler. I was responsible for keeping him on his "schedule", keeping his quarters tidy, tending to his every need, and helping him with his personal tasks like bathing, dressing, and grooming. But he wasn't helpless. He insisted doing a lot of things himself. Except his hair. He never did his own hair. That was the one thing he could not do- not that I minded touching his silky blonde...umm…anyway… (I spent the last seven months learning how to braid!) I was required to essentially be by his side all the time, except when he went on missions, and my day only ended when he retired for the night or he relieved me from my duty. He was respectful and polite for the most part, but sometimes his behaviors had a sort of "Holier than thou" attitude or a "spoiled brat" mentality. He could be needy. But…still…I guess…I really did not mind that much. Actually…I sort of…enjoyed my job, if I'm being honest. I always wanted to have a job of some sort…and now I did…and, well…I got to constantly be around the attractive elven prince so…
-xXx-
I woke up to an Elvish horn. I groaned and turned on my side. When I slowly began to come to, the morning sun was so bright that it practically burned into my eyes. My body felt heavy, and I was quite tired. As always, I hadn't gotten much sleep, if any at all. I closed my eyes and dozed off once more, but was roused again to the same Elvish horn. My keen ears also picked up the sound of dishes clattering and light footsteps on the stone floor as other servants scrambled about to ready themselves for the day. I suppose I was lucky though. Even though I was a servant, I was privileged…I guess. My day began the moment I roused the prince, which meant I got to sleep in later than the other household staff did. I had to wake up at 7:15 or so to get myself ready for my day and be on time to rouse Legolas at 8 (the prince was a perfectionist, and he made me ensure that he had plenty of time to look his best). For some, 7:15 was not early, but for a night owl like myself, it was far too early.
I groaned and sat up in my bed, swinging my legs over the side. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and then sat there for a few moments, before I dragged myself up. I lazily made my bed (tidiness was a quirk I picked up after suddenly becoming an Elf), grabbed my uniform, which was a tunic, trousers, boots, and coat that were all a wine red, and sluggishly went down to one of the pools to quickly bathe, hoping the cool water would wake me up. I did not take a very long time, and I did not bother washing my hair today, since I had done so yesterday. Once I had dried and dressed, I went back to my room to stand before a mirror so that I could do my hair. The male servants were required to either braid back the two front strands of hair and tie them behind our heads so it was out of our faces, or up in a ponytail or braid. Today, I was not particularly in the mood to be meticulous with my own hair, so I tied it back in a simple ponytail. I briefly dusted the wrinkles out of my clothes and then stared at myself in the mirror. I looked terrible, as usual. I mean, I was posh, dignified, and put together in my uniform but I still looked terrible. It seemed that I had kept my incredibly low self-esteem from the other me…from Zade…even though elves were stereotyped to have a superiority complex. I sighed before I left my private quarters and closed the door behind me, making my way towards the flight of stairs that led up to Legolas's bedroom.
I slowly pushed open the door, revealing a dark, silent room. The only sound was Legolas's soft breathing as he slept in the large bed in center of the chamber. I walked passed the bed to one side of the room and tossed open the drapes that covered his large window. Instantly, morning sunlight streamed in, filling the room.
"My lord, it's time to get up." I said. The figure nestled among the pillows in the center of the large oaken bed made a noise and moved in his sleep but did not stir.
"I'm sorry, my lord, but it is time to get up now." I repeated, a little bit louder. He didn't move to sit up and open his eyes. I walked over his bedside. He was asleep on his side, with his back facing the window. He was in his normal white pajamas and his long blonde hair was loose and fanned out about the pillows and his face, with some of the strands pooling into his face. He looked so peaceful and serene just lying there…Damn…he's gorgeous…
I felt my cheeks heat up, so I turned and made my way to his wardrobe. Deciding I would try again in a few moments, I went to his wardrobe and pulled out some clothes I thought he might like to wear today and I set them on the counter in his personal bathroom. I then prepared his warm bath. Once I had filled the tub with water that was the perfect temperature for him, I opened the curtains on the window above the tub and returned to the main part of the room. When I got there, he was sitting up straight, blinking his groggy blue eyes.
"Good morning, my lord." I said in my usual gentle voice. If this were one of my friends, my greeting would be accompanied with a hug. But…this was the prince of Mirkwood and I was his servant…it would hardly be appropriate.
"Man erin, mellonin." He replied. He referred to as me "mellonin" or…his friend…which I found odd…but it made me feel good.
"Did you sleep okay?" I asked.
"As well as usual." He replied. He got out of bed.
"I have your warm bath drawn for you, my lord." I said. He nodded briskly and made his way into the bathroom. Because I knew I would be a flushed red mess if I saw him strip in front of me, I stayed behind to make his bed and tidy up his already tidy room until I heard water splashing and I could be certain he was in the bathtub, submerged within the suds.
I did not fully understand why I always felt so awkward and blushy when it was him that was in the nude. I was unbothered if it was the other servants, or my friends, regardless if they were female or male, but with Legolas…it was different.
I took a deep breath and walked into the bathroom. Legolas was lounging in the slick, claw-foot tub. His long legs were sticking out over the edge as well. His skin was damp, and the ends of his blonde hair were submerged within the suds. He had already poured water over himself, so his hair was wet and plastered against his face and body. The water droplets on his skin, lit by the warm sun streaming from the window glass made him glisten, enhancing his Elvish beauty even more. For a moment, I just stared at him and I found my gaze drawn to his muscles…his lean pectorals and well-toned abdominals particularly…
"Is there something wrong, Castien?" Legolas asked me when he caught me staring. His voice was not condescending…or concerned…it retained its usual smooth calmness. He slowly adjusted his sitting position, so he was sitting up straighter and his legs were back in the water.
"N-no sir!" I replied quickly. I turned to pull a fluffy towel out of the cupboard when he caught me staring. (In my defense…I could not help it, I was attracted to him.)
"Castien, how many times must I ask that you call me by my name?" Legolas asked softly, a small smile ghosting his face.
We locked our blue gazes for a moment. His bright pools were studying me with…affection? Amusement? (he probably thinks my awkward behavior is cute, which it is not, because I am not cute! Mili, Elise, Erika, Alex… you're all wrong!)
"…O-Once more…as always, my lord." I replied, respectfully. His small smile faded and his expression returned to its resting frown. My gaze faltered from his face to his abs again. Immediately I snapped it up. "Are you ready for shampoo, sir?"
"Yes."
"Okay." I picked up the bottle from the side of the tub and squeezed some into my hands, rubbing it into a lather, and then began to massage it through his hair, focusing all my attention on the golden locks. By now, I should have been used to his nice body and not pay as much mind to it…but every time it was exposed I could not help but admire it and blush about it.) To some degree, it was almost distracting. I had to force myself not to stare as I shampooed his silky hair and washed his back.
To be honest, I was quite relieved (and slightly disappointed) when the bath finished and he was in a robe. I watched him squeeze out the excess water from his hair and then quickly put his towel over him when he stood up. I dried him off and then helped him into a bathrobe. I then towel dried his hair to a point where it was just damp. He flipped it over his shoulder, and then I combed out all the rats and did it up in his preferred style. I then helped him into his outfit.
He stood before the mirror as I made some final adjustments to his tunic and ran the comb through his hair once final time. As soon as we finished, the horn sounded again; it was the ten-minute warning before breakfast was to be served. Just in time. I sighed with relief.
Then Legolas and I made our way down the corridor to the stairs so we could get to the breakfast hall. When we reached the steps, I saw Miluiel and Manwathiel sliding down the bannisters.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Sliding down the rails." Miluiel replied, "It's fun."
"Lady Miluiel, please be careful!" An alarmed Ayda exclaimed at the base of steps. Oh…it is hardly appropriate for the future queen to be acting like this, yes it is…
I looked at Manwathiel. "Has she had her tea yet?"
"No."
I didn't think so. Now her behavior made sense. She had the tendency to act very slightly off-the-rails when she was tired and had not had her morning tea. Both pairs of light feet clicked on the floor.
"I do not think the king would be pleased to find his betrothed sliding down freshly polished bannisters, Lady Miluiel." Legolas said.
Miluiel shrugged. "Probably not. But honestly, I don't really see anything wrong with it. It isn't hurting anything." She was slightly flushed, so I knew she was a bit embarrassed her future son-in-law had caught her in the act.
Future son-in-law… It was still hard to believe, we were not much older than him…and she was marrying his father. For a second, a thought entered my mind: it's because she has the "daddy" kink… Shut up, Castien. You know that isn't true! How does that even make sense? Oh wait, it doesn't! You tried and failed to make a pun. Stop. And never, under any circumstances, say that to her face, because she will actually punch you.
…Anyways, this behavior was just what I expected from her. She had taken a little bit after Becca, and I had had the pleasure of witnessing her silliness at times. The silliness she so often covered with a posh, dignified exterior. It was a part of her she hid, because she was not entirely comfortable with showing it off. She seemed…slightly ashamed of it. It was part of the "outer wall" she put up. I smiled softly and Legolas and I joined them at the base of the stairs, and together, we all went into the dining hall.
-xXx-
As we were wrapping up the meal, Thranduil told Legolas that his schedule was completely open and he could enjoy the day at his leisure. He also said the same thing to Manwathiel.
Soon, breakfast was dismissed, and everyone dispersed. I followed Legolas up to his room.
"How will you choose to spend the day, my lord?" I asked.
He was slinging his quiver and arrows over his back, "I will join Tauriel and Manwathiel in archery, as always." He said.
I carefully took his bow from where it was mounted on the wall and handed it to him.
He took it from me and slung it on his back with his quiver, "Perhaps you'd like to try a few shots today." He suggested.
"I might, my lord, but I'm not sure." We started to make our way.
"I believe it is important for every elf in the Woodland Realm to know the basics of archery and combat. Being able to defend oneself is a vital skill. It becomes even more important now, especially with the days beginning to grow darker."
He's trying to convince me to do it.
"And, if worse comes down to it, my loyal servant should be able to defend me if, for some reason, I am unable. Is that not a correct statement?"
Whelp, looks like I'm training today.
"I-if my lord wills it, I suppose I can't say no."
"It is not an order so much as it is a strong recommendation." Legolas replied, "It is your choice, mellonin. You are a gentle soul, Castien, and the thought of fighting is most unsettling to you, so I understand if you would prefer not to handle a weapon." He briefly set a hand on my shoulder before he brushed past me, "Come. Let us go now." He said. I followed behind him, his touch still lingering on my shoulder.
-xXx-
On our way through the halls, we passed Miluiel. She was alone this time, not by Thranduil's side like she usually was. She appeared to be looking for something.
"Where is my father?" Legolas asked when he saw her.
"Oh, hi Legolas, hi Castien. Umm, he's in the throne room, as usual." She replied.
"And you are not by his side?"
"No. I decided to do some exploring instead. I wanted some time to think…to get to know the halls again…" she trailed off.
"Do you want to join us for archery?" I asked.
"Maybe later. I think I'm just going to explore for now."
"Okay." I replied.
"Have fun doing archery practice, you two." She smiled, waving us off as we departed. I felt kind of bad for her. She had been so melancholy for the past few days since she had woken up and her memory had gone all wonky. She was usually so vibrant, but lately, not so much. However, I did not express my concerns out loud. I kept them to myself.
-xXx-
Miluiel
I spent the day exploring my surroundings. The hoped that by doing so I'd get some memories back.
The entry of my underground home was sealed within great stone doors held by magic. The halls were so magnificent and beautiful. They were settled within a great cave system, which had some thick, old tree trunks dwelling within them that helped for the great halls. They had this lovely forest smell- of wood and sap, of pine. It overpowered the musty smell. It was dim and cool in the palace, and while most would find this to be depressing, I found it to be the opposite.
I was glad of the maps of the halls were posted up on pillars, because the palace was like a labyrinth and I had no sense of direction at all. There were caverns, dark archways, tunnels, winding pathways and corridors formed of bridges made of thick tree trunks and stone. Many of the bridges were over waterfalls, which filled the air with their serene roars that could be heard from basically anywhere in the palace, at their loudest when you were closest to them. There were various platforms too, each with a sort of gazebo built atop them, that was excluding the one area with all the different bathing pools. It was magnificent and whimsical…like the fantasy stories that I had grown to love and was now apparently a part of.
There were three basic "levels": The Lower, Middle, and Upper. Each level had sublevels, which could be reached by many, many flights of stairs. The underground was the darkest and smelled the worst. The lowest point of the halls of course, were the cellars. It was the darkest and the mustiest part of the halls, and the moldy, stale smell was particularly strong down here. I had no memory of this place, and it occurred to me that it was probably because I did not come down here. Which made sense, because it was dark and musty and not as clean as the rest of the palace. I probably steered clear of it, as I hated getting dirty.
When I got to the cellars, there were a few guards assembled at the long table. They must have had their day off because they were sitting and drinking.
"Ahh! Hello Lady Miluiel!" exclaimed one of the auburn-haired men currently seated, "Would you like to have a drink with us?"
"In the middle of the day, no thank you." I replied. I then left the cellars. I was not a drinker anyway, and there was no way I was going to be drinking right now. It was barely the afternoon.
I left the cellars at the lowest point of the halls, and passed through dungeons, leaving the lower reaches and made my way into the middle levels.
It was brighter here. These levels had all the main living spaces, such as the dining halls, the bathing cavern, and drawing cavern.
As I roamed these halls, the feelings of familiarity increased. It was not like I had a clear sense of memory…but it was more like…déjà vu. Memories appeared in my head first as words on a page...before they formed faded pictures in the settings front of me.
In the bathing cavern, there were so many pools of many sizes, on various rocks at varying levels, surrounded by tiny waterfalls, some which poured from one pool into another. It looked like a place that'd be a hot spot for mermaids. It was lit dimly by candles, but as in most of the other areas of the palace, there were cracks in the rock and between tree branches and leaves that light shone through. As I crossed the bridge and looked below and around me. I saw that there were quite a few Mirkwood residents bathing. I smiled brightly at a group of cute young elf maidens in one, waving at them. They giggled and splashed, and a couple of them waved back at me. After I had spent a few moments gazing at them, my eyes wandered between all the different pools. Of course, Soon, they fell to Both Gilith, and it automatically triggered the memory from a few nights before, when I had discussed my confusing feelings with my sister and Castien before Legolas had joined us. However, the image flashed only briefly, before another appeared. The faded picture in front of me formed two figures. One male, one female. They were together in the Pool of Starlight. It was late. The milky light from outside shone through the cracks and lit up the pool, illuminating the forms of two lithe, bare bodies as they skinny dipped in the moonlight. One was Thranduil…and the other…the other was me. Don't couples wait to bathe together until after marriage? I thought. Then again I guess it's an Elvish culture thing…Well…regardless of what it is…it happened…
My face became hot with blush. The image vanished, leaving behind an empty pool in the current daylight. For a couple of moments, I stared at the empty pool, before I vanished into one of the tunnels and climbed the stairs to the drawing room. It was empty, but there was a fainting couch, a hearth, a tea table, and a spa-sized pool that was almost a perfect circle off to one side. A waterfall roared over a cliff into it. Another memory was flashed before me.
I saw myself. I stood in front of the couch, with a canvas and an easel, and some sort of drawing tool…an old-fashioned pencil or something…and I was drawing. Now that was something I could easily get behind. That made perfect sense. I loved to draw.
The subject I was drawing was lounging across the couch. The subject or reference, whatever you want to call it, was the Elvenking himself.
I smiled. How lovely…I sunk into the cushions and leaned against the backrest. The slightly rough feeling was very nostalgic. I then recalled countless times I had just sat upon it and reflected. And occasionally…Thranduil would be with me…and we'd be cuddling.
These were fond memories indeed…but they still seemed far too fairytale…but yet…they felt so right.
I guess…I was conflicted because there was a part of me that could not believe them. Not just because they were so fairytale but also because…how could someone as gorgeous as him love someone who was so plain and average like me?
I sighed. Then, I made my way to the upper halls were where the throne room, most of the treasure vault, studies, and the many bedrooms were. It was the brightest here, as windows and skylights had been carved out from the rock and then sealed with magic glass, so that one could look out at the kingdom and patches of sun streamed in.
My feet had subconsciously led me into the throne room, a great hall with great pillars carved from the living rock that made up the cave system.
As I expected, Thranduil had not moved from his spot. He was lounging across the throne in a lazy manner holding a silver, bejeweled goblet.
"Ahh, Miluiel." He said when he saw me, "You have returned at last. Come, sit with me." He sat up and moved slightly to my right. He patted the slick stone beside him. Slowly, I lifted my dress and walked up the steps. There was no railing and I hoped to God I did not trip on the train of my dress. (Why did long skirts have to be so inconvenient!?)
Thankfully, I made it up without tripping, and I sat down beside him. The throne was just big enough for two, and we sat in the middle of it. He draped a long arm over my shoulders, resting his hand on the armrest at my side.
My heart began to pound in my ears. Oh my God he's touching me! Ahhhhhh….he's soooo hot I can't…help!
"Would you like a drink?" he asked, beckoning a servant.
"Ahh…n-no thank you." I brushed a piece of hair behind my ear and waved my hand nonchalantly, "You know I don't drink."
My heart continued to pound so loudly I thought for sure he could hear it. HELP!
"Very well." He set his goblet on the tray that the servant was holding. The elvish man carried the dish to a small, rounded stone table and set it down.
"…I'll umm…drink at the wedding though..." I said. Why did I say that? Ahhh!
"Indeed, it is a celebratory occasion."
Ahahaha… In my mind, I laughed nervously. There was silence. I fidgeted and began twisting my long hair to try and calm myself.
"So tell me, Miluiel, has your memory returned after spending the last few days exploring our kingdom?"
"Yeah…I suppose a little bit. It isn't as foggy now and I'm getting used to being here…again…" I continued to play with my hair.
"Why are you so nervous today?"
I can't remember the last time I was THIS close to someone I was SO attracted to…The part of me that was still "Millie" was fangirl squealing inside my mind. She seemed to have this sort of…infatuation with Thranduil and she could hardly contain herself. However, it would be most undignified for the future queen to act like that. Another part of my brain said, Have you looked in the mirror, Thranduil? You are terrifying.
"I…don't know…I suppose it's because…I get…intimidated when I'm around beautiful men like you…" WTF! DID I REALLY JUST SAY THAT!? DID I REALLY JUST USE THAT GOD AWFUL LINE THAT CREEPY GUY FROM FRESHMEN YEAR OF COLLEGE USED ON ME TO TRY AND IMPRESS ME ON MY FIANCE!? …Wait, what creepy guy from college…?...He who shall not be named. …What!? Uggh! Dammit… My memory was being weird again…
My face flushed bright crimson. "U-umm…I m-mean…what I meant was…" I trailed off. My words dried up in my throat. Oooh god that was bad…that was soooo bad. HOW IS THAT KIND OF "FLIRTING" GOING TO GET HIM TO LIKE YOU!? He already does like you back, stupid. He was the one who proposed.
I looked up slowly, my face still red hot with blush. Thranduil was smiling softly…I'd even go so far as to say…affectionately.
He has a lovely smile…
"You're right, I am intimidating. That is a requirement of being a king."
You narcissistic ass! I just gave you a compliment and you responded by using it to inflate your giant ego even further!? No "Thank you" or a compliment for me in return!? Rude!
"However, normally you are not this nervous, which leads me to think that something is wrong."
You, sir, are six foot five, have the body and face of an angel, the prettiest blue eyes, the most wonderful cheekbones, and fabulous silvery hair, you're the king of Mirkwood… AND I AM INSANELY ATTRACTED TO YOU! I'm also the subject of your affections and your bride-to-be! Of course I'm nervous! I'm nervous I'm gonna f**k something up and I am afraid that by doing so I'm going to lose you. And because I am attracted to you…I want this…no matter how distorted this reality seems…I want this…and I want you…which is why I am so intimidated…
But where…where are these feelings coming from? I don't even know him so how can I love him like this? I never feel this way about anyone I meet irl…But is this even reality…?
But you do know him. You have gotten to know him for the past seven months. In the past seven months you have grown to love him just as he loves you.
…I am in love with the character, Thranduil. J.R.R. Tolkien's character, Thranduil. A character who is fictional, out of reach, non-existent…in the back of my mind I know he is an asshole, but I still love his character. It is nothing more but a fictional crush…I could never love an asshole like this in real life…I could never be happy with someone like this…
This is the same Thranduil from Tolkien's stories…but now he is no longer fiction. He is real.
How can fiction collide with reality!? It does not make sense…
You have no choice but to accept this, Millie. It doesn't make sense, but it is your reality now, so you must accept it. In time, your questions will be answered if they are meant to be answered.
Is it really my reality though?
"I am concerned for your well-being, Miluiel." Thranduil's voice interrupted my thoughts.
"I'm intimidated because you are intimidating…and to be honest…it feels like we have only just met…" I trailed off, "But I am still so confused. When I roamed your palace, I had déjà vu…but everything is still so convoluted…I'm struggling to understand just how…struggling to recall what memories are real and which ones are not...I'm struggling with my feelings…I'm doubting reality…and it's eating away at me. Somewhere inside me…this whole situation…my residence here, my role, my engagement, the feelings I have for you…it feels right…I feel like I remember it…but I don't understand how…And that is what I'm struggling with. I've said it once and I'll say it again…everything feels disjointed...everything is such a shock to me. This reality I am currently experiencing is the very thing that would be in my dreams…it's like a fairytale that has come to life…but instead of starting at the beginning, I was thrown into the middle of it. I was given this role…and…I want to live up to it. I want to accept it. But it is overwhelming. I find it difficult to accept it because of all my doubts. Don't get me wrong. I am attracted to you…and I have this admiration for you…and somewhere in the back of my mind, I feel like I love you…like…we have had more interaction than this…and I want to remember that…I need you to help me remember. I'm accepting this role now…but I need you to help me remember us…before I feel comfortable enough to marry you. I…want to fall in love with you all over again."
For several long, strenuous moments, he studied me. His expression was hard to read…but it was hard to overlook the…hurt in his eyes…the hurt I saw within them beyond his stoic frown.
You hurt his feelings. Good job, you jerk.
He brushed a strand of dark auburn hair behind my pointed ear, fixing his softened gaze with mine. "Then I will make sure you do."
A fluttery feeling stirred inside me.
"We will retrace our steps. I will take you back through our first seven months, through the fondest memories we made. Perhaps then, you will love me once more."
I smiled, "I'm looking forward to that." Upon this, I leaned into his side, curling my legs up and under me.
However, even though I had this feeling of contentment, a small part of my brain nagged at me. But what about the other memories? The ones that seem to be…from another life…and what about your friends!?
As much as it pains me…I have to take this one obstacle at a time…
A/N: 1. WELL! It seems like love is in Mirkwood's air, eh? It appears that we have some complicated feelings starting to brew for our lovely Mirkwood elves. Stay tuned...because Mirkwood is the center of all the romantic drama because I am trash and this is still very much a self-indulgent fic. I gotta have those pairings.
2. Whelp...looks like I added another layer of complication Miluiel's arc...this was not quite as I had originally planned...but hey, I think it'll be interesting, especially taking into consideration what I plan for her portion of the story later in the fic.
Thanks for reading! See you next update~ Bye.
