A/N: Thank you for the reviews.


Thursday

Thursday night finds them again in the living room, in their chairs, drinking slowly and looking at each other, waiting for the next round. Pouring some more vodka in her glass she looks at him.

"You know…I still don't know anything about your life."

"That because there's nothing to know. I've become very boring in the past few years."

"I don't buy that."

"Trust me, it's true."

"Just tell me something about yourself, Jess."

"Why?" He looks straight into her eyes and she looks away from him.

"I want to know. Isn't that good enough?"

"You want to know or you want me to talk about my life so we don't have to talk about yours?"

Sighing, she sips from her glass again. "Both, I guess. I'm just…tired. You can yell at me later but do this for me and just talk about yours for a while."

"That's all that's registered with you? The yelling? You really think that's what I am doing? Think I enjoy it?"

"No, Jess. I…know what you've been saying. I'm thinking about it."

"Promise?"

"Yeah." She nods.

"Fine. What do you want to know about my life? I still work at Truncheon, I still live above it. It's all pretty straightforward."

"If I ask you something, will you be honest when you answer?" She questions him, biting her lip.

"Yep." He agrees.

"And…you won't get angry?"

"Why would I be angry?" He asks her back, finishing his drink.

"Because it's something personal."

"Ask away." He agrees, filling his glass back again.

"The other night…you said that you've made more mistakes in love than the ones I know of. What did you mean?"

Sighing, he looks at the glass in his hand. "There was someone else for a while."

"What's a while?"

"Almost 2 years."

"That's…a long while."

"Maybe."

"So…what happened?" She asks him.

"The usual. Boy and girl meet, fall in love or at least think they do, boy and girl break up." He chuckles softly.

"You're going to have to give me more than that."

"Why?" He questions her again.

"The answer to that is going to be the same no matter how many times you ask. I want to know."

"It doesn't matter. Not anymore." He downs his drink swiftly, refilling the glass again.

"Just tell me about it, Jess. We've been talking about me for too long. I'm curious."

"Fine. I met her at work, she was looking through the books and asked me about one of them. We started going out. Everything was fine. We were talking about moving in together and things like that. Making plans, being foolish."

"And?"

"And a couple of weeks before the big move, boy finds out that girl has been cheating on him." He says the last sentence calmly and Rory looks at him, putting her glass down on the table.

"Jess…I'm sorry." She whispers, getting up and walks to him. Crouching down so she's closer to his level, she puts her hand on his arm. "I'm really sorry."

"It's ok. It's been a while. I'm fine." He replies, drinking from his glass again.

"Jess…" She whispers again and he looks at her.

"I really am fine. You'd be amazed at how quickly you can fall out of love when someone let's you down."

"Ok." She nods, standing up again and refilling both their glasses. "Did she give you any explanation?" She asks, sitting back down in her chair.

"The usual bullshit. I didn't pay enough attention to her, I spent too much time writing, I didn't love her enough. It doesn't matter anymore. Didn't matter then, either."

"She's an idiot." She chokes out, finishing her full glass in one go.

"Why do you say that?"

"I've read your book."

"I know you have, I gave it to you. I still don't get what that has to do with anything."

"Not The Subsect. The other one."

He looks at her, surprised by what she's just said.

"How?"

"Luke."

"Figures." He sighs frustrated, running a hand through his hair.

"Don't be mad at him. I was just up in his apartment with mom one day and saw it."

A few months before.

"Luke, what's this?"

"What?"

She lifts the book, showing him the cover.

"That's…um…" The man stutters, not knowing how to reply.

"Jess' book."

"Yeah."

"Why didn't I know he wrote another one?"

"It wasn't my place to tell you, Rory. It's his thing. I'm staying out of it."

"Did he come by to give you this?"

The man just shakes his head, sadly. "I think there are very few things in this world that could make him come back to this place."

Nodding, she hugs the book to her chest. "I know. Can I borrow this…?"

"I still don't get what that has to do with anything. It's not a love story."

"Maybe I am insane and maybe it really doesn't have anything to do with it, but there were a few scenes in there…they weren't your characters, it was you. Yeah, it's not a book about love but the guy is in love and in those scenes… You said it a few days ago, you know me because you loved me. I know you for the same reason. I don't think anyone else would pick up on it. But it was you. And, when someone loves you like that, you don't fuck it up because it doesn't happen that often. That's what makes her an idiot."

Instead of replying, he drinks some more, looking at her, a million thoughts rushing though his mind. She fills the glasses once more before she continues.

"And, maybe you will hate me for saying this but I don't think I care, I'm jealous of her. I was never loved that way. Dean was nice and peaceful, you only knew how to break my heart back then and Logan…well, he's Logan. I don't doubt he loves me in his way, but it's not like that. He used to make me live at a thousand miles a minute, but he never loved me that way. So yeah…I'm jealous."

"So why are you fucking up on your chance of finding that love and marrying him?" He asks her after a few moments of silence.

"Because I'm tired. I can't keep searching forever. I can't keep having my heart broken. It hurts too much."

"So you're giving up?"

"Yeah."

He's silent again and she just looks down at her feet, picking up her glass again.

"Don't." He manages to whisper and she looks at him.

"Why not?"

"Because it would be the stupidest thing you've ever done." He answers honestly. "Yeah, having your heart broken hurts like hell. But if you give up, you give up on the good parts as well. You'll never get to just hold someone's hand and be happy with it. Hug someone and know there's no other place you would rather be. Make love, not just fuck someone."

Standing up, she takes a few angry steps around the room. "Don't say that to me. You of all people don't get to say that to me."

"Why not?"

"Because you gave up on me. You say you loved me and yet, you never stood still. I'm giving up a potential love. The chance for one. You gave up on something real. So don't you fucking lecture me about giving up on a chance to love when you just bailed."

"So what? Because I was a bastard I don't get to point out that you're being an idiot? We're not going to go through this again. I've said what I had to say the other night. Now it's your choice to make. But don't tell me I shouldn't tell you this because of that. Because I just left, I didn't give up."

"Oh, no, of course not." She snaps, sarcasm in her words.

Standing up, he walks closer to her. "I didn't give up, Rory. I loved you for a long time after I left. But I couldn't be there and you couldn't be with me. It just wasn't meant to be. So don't accuse me of giving up."

"Don't lie, Jess." She snaps again, still angry.

"I'm not. I only gave up when you didn't leave me with any other choice. Or what did you expect of me? What should I have done to make you happy? Keep on loving you all this time while you ran around with that idiot, not giving a fuck about my existence? Would that have made you happy?"

Shaking her head, she looks down at her feet.

"You want to know one last thing?" He asks and she nods slowly, looking back at him. "I wrote that book at the same time I wrote The Subsect."

"You mean…?" She manages to whisper after a few moments of silence.

"Yeah. It wasn't about her. It was about you."

Almost without realizing, they both step closer to each other, not breaking eye contact until they're an inch apart. She's the first one to close her eyes and he does the same just as their lips touch. He pushes her against the wall, his hands cupping her face while his mouth attacks hers furiously and she responds, her fists clenching around his shirt, pulling him closer. Blood is rushing through them, their hearts beating faster and their minds stop working.