I'm not exactly happy with this chapter, but at least it's something. I may go back in a week or two and rewrite it to make it better, but I'll make sure to let you all know. :)


I was sitting in front of the TV. watching a movie with little yellow creatures running around, yelling nonsense at each other and continually smacking the one named Dave. They looked like Twinkies in overalls, but their characters in general made me forget about the thoughts that have been plaguing me for the past few days. What would happen when Maia came back in two weeks? I raked my hands through my hair in frustration, tears pooling in my eyes. I had zero solutions in my head to ease this silent suffering- it felt almost as if I had a block between my thoughts, preventing me from coming up with any plans at all. I've been trying to avoid Jace as much as possible, so he wouldn't ask me what was wrong. I felt the gap growing between us steadily, and it was my entire fault. I was terrified of losing Jace, and the fact I had grown so close to Jace scared me almost as much. I had never been close to anyone besides my mom, Luke, Simon, and Maia, and I was scared to lose any of them, but something felt different about the thought of losing Jace. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth to void the unwanted thoughts from my mind.

"Clary? Why are you still in here?" I angrily wiped away the tears that had slipped down my face. I couldn't let Jace see me like this.

"I, um, couldn't sleep so I came in here to watch a movie." I kept my eyes on the screen, focusing on the little girl screaming something about unicorns. Jace sat beside me and pulled me onto his lap, his arms looping around my waist. He kissed his way from my shoulder up to my neck, nipping occasionally to leave marks on my pale skin. I wanted to surrender to his kisses, but that stubborn question caused me to gently push him away. Jace growled in irritation, and pushed me off his lap and back onto the couch. I felt icy fear grip me and worried that I had pushed Jace too far, until I felt his hands pin me on the couch.

"Clary, I've had it with you avoiding me for the past three days. Tell me what's wrong." His voice was hard, but as always his golden eyes told me what he was really feeling. I bit my lip, debating the direction this conversation could take if I told him the truth. If I told him nothing, it could end in us getting into a huge fight or Jace comforting me even though he doesn't know what for. If I told him what was really on my mind, then... I'm not sure what would happen.

"I know that look, Clary. Tell me the truth, please."

"It's nothing. I just feel odd, that's all." Guilt shot through me when the hurt flickered across his face. A second later it was gone and Jace was picking me up, carrying me to his bed for the night.

"Maia? Is that you?" I slowly sat up in my bed, immediately noticing the unusual silence in the apartment. Usually the sound of cars or at least a TV left on in a neighboring apartment was audible, but there was nothing. I wasn't panicking yet, but my heart started to speed up slightly. My feet touched the cold floor, sending a chill up my spine as I made my way into the hall.

"Maia?" I didn't get a response, but noticed the kitchen light was on. I must have left it on by accident. Cautiously I poked my head around the corner, just to double check there was no danger lurking around the corner. I laughed to myself, feeling stupid for thinking there was someone in the apartment at this time of night. Flicking the light back off, I felt my way through the hallway and back to my room cursing when I caught my foot on a box, but the moment I stepped through the door an arm wrapped around my waist, a sharp blade pressing painfully against my throat. Fingers pressed harshly into my ribs, most likely leaving bruises. I felt a scream working its way up, until the knife pressed hard enough to draw blood.

"Scream and I will not hesitate to press my blade clear through your pretty little throat." I bit my tongue and tried to get my heart rate down- if I didn't die from this knife I would die from a heart attack. I had to fight to keep myself from struggling against the intruder as he drug me over to my bed and threw me down. His body was lean but obviously strong, with a ninja-like wrap covering his face. His eyes were the only part of his face that was visible, but the solid black of them caused terror more than if he had covered them. Before I could move to escape he was on top of me, a hand creeping up my shirt. I started to struggle against him, fear making me start to shake and tears slide down my face. I managed to get one of my hands free to hit the intruder, only to be met with the back of his hand. Black spots danced across my vision, threatening to take me under.

"You stupid slut! How dare you hit me?" The spots disappeared the minute his fingers gripped the waist band of my shorts. I started to thrash around, desperate to keep his hands off of me. He slapped me again, and I heard the ripping of fabric. Despite the knife, I let out a scream of pure terror. The intruder snarled, and I heard the sound of a zipper...

"Clary! Wake up! Come on Clary wake up!" Jace's voice ripped me out of my nightmare, his hands on my shoulders shaking me. My eyes flew open, tears already blinding me to the point of blurring everything. I choked out a sob, my arms wrapping tightly around his neck. Jace moved his hands from my shoulders to around my waist, holding me tightly against him while murmuring comforting nothings into my ear. I'm not sure how long I cried, but when I finally stopped Jace pulled away and wiped the tears from my face before lying us both down and pulling the comforter back up to our shoulders. His arms around me made me feel safe, protected from that awful nightmare. I closed my eyes as Jace stroked my hair, but opened them again a second later when an image of a knife against my throat appeared. I heard myself gasp and jump, my heart beating wildly again.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Jace's voice was soothing, erasing the other voice stuck in my head. I turned and buried my head into his chest, desperately wishing the horrible images would disappear.

"I dreamed someone broke into my apartment, held a knife to my throat, and tried to rape me. He was unzipping his pants and ripping off my shorts when you woke me up." The silence hung heavy between us, neither moving a muscle. Jace growled into the skin of my neck, his arms tightening to the point of discomfort. I put my hand on his on my stomach, letting him know I was okay- or at least trying to convince him I was.

"Clary."

"Yes?"

"Promise not to freak out or hit me?"

"Yes, but why would I try to h-"

"Stay here with me. When Maia comes back, stay here with me so I can keep you safe." I scrambled for an excuse to refuse him, but came up empty handed. Besides the fact we had only started speaking a week ago, I honestly could not think of a reason not to. Jace made me feel safe and wanted; he made me feel loved.

"What happens if things go wrong between us Jace?"

"I won't let them." I removed my head from its resting place on his chest and looked at him.

"Promise?"

"I promise to always protect you and love you Clary." I gently untangled my arms from his and pushed on his chest, urging him to lay on his back. I cuddled up to Jace, one hand on his chest and the other tucked against mine.

"Maia's going to talk my ear off when I tell her." Jace kissed my forehead and tightened his grip on me.