Chapter Seven:
Pidge finished up the inventory of Green's remaining mechanical issues, then gave the mechanical Lion a pat on the consul and a few words of praise, promising that they needed just one more flight before Green could return to her hanger and rest the way she deserved.
Then they went to find Shiro.
Pidge didn't have to go far. Although initially looking for Shiro's tall, muscular figure in black and white amongst the scurry that was the Garrison deconstructing the base camp they had nearly finished constructing, it was the Black Lion that told Pidge that they wouldn't find him amongst the crowd.
The Black Lion was lying in the sand, whereas her 'cubs' were sitting or—in the case of Red, who was making herself look very big and intimidating to the tiny humans—standing. Black would have made a very intimidating Sphynx, almost like the one in Egypt. Except, Black had her head lowered to her paws, yellow eyes scanning watchfully. Protectively.
Pidge paused and turned their head, studying Black, whose eyes were now trained on them. The hardness in her gaze dissipated at seeing the smallest Paladin, and Pidge felt the rumble of Black's mighty purr beneath their feet. Without a second's hesitation, Pidge walked up so that they stood in front of Black, gently putting a hand on Black's nose, the intensity of the purr growing and Black gently nosed Pidge's chest.
"It's good to see you, too." Pidge said with a smile. "I'm sorry Green and I scared you during the battle."
Black's head tilted, eyes going towards the Green Lion.
"Green's okay. She needs rest." Pidge said, petting Black's nose reassuringly. "We all do. I was wondering if you'd let me talk to Shiro, though."
Pidge expected Black to open her mouth, to find Shiro somewhere in Black's cockpit. But instead, Black lifted her head some so that Pidge could see Shiro tucked between her paws, leaning against her chest, his head down and against his knees, his helmet at his feet. Pidge took that as an invitation, and crawled over Black's paws to go sit beside Shiro.
"Hey," Pidge said gently. "Are you okay, Shiro?"
Shiro was quiet before lifting his head to look at Pidge.
"Yeah. I'm fine." Shiro said. "I just… I needed a moment of quiet."
"There's not much of that around here at the moment." Pidge pointed out. "Iverson's still barking orders in your absence."
"I heard." Shiro said. "He and I have reached… an agreement of sorts. For now."
Pidge nodded and they were quiet. Shiro rested his forehead against his knees again.
"Are you excited to see your mom?" Shiro asked quietly.
"I'm… Yes, I am. But at the same time, I'm kind of nervous. And angry." Pidge admitted. "I… This wasn't how I planned to see her again. I planned on having Matt and Dad with me. That when I saw her again, we'd be a whole family again."
Shiro nodded some, still with his head against his knees.
"And you?" Pidge asked.
"I don't know." Shiro admitted in a whisper. "Pidge, I'm not… I'm not the son they said good-bye to. Not the brother. Not the person I was. I've changed. Physically. Mentally. I've been changed."
Pidge watched as Shiro's gaze fell to his right arm.
"And I hardly remember anything about them. I told you, I barely remember any Japanese. I've killed people since the last time they saw me. I've been declared dead for a year. I…" Shiro took a deep breath. "I'm scared of what they'll think of me."
"Shiro…" Pidge whispered. "Shiro, your family loves you. They won't be scared. They'll be happy, that you're alive and they won't care that you have amnesia and a metal arm and a few more scars than you did before. They love you and they don't need you to be able to speak a certain language or remember stories for them to love you."
Shiro was quiet and didn't move, still staring at his arm. Pidge gently reached up and put their hand on Shiro's back, pulling him into a hug.
"Your sister's name is Mitsu." Pidge whispered, their head against his shoulder. "She's twelve, and you told me that her name means 'light'. You and Shinji call her 'Mitsy'. She adores you and Shinji, and before you left, you two made a bet as to which would happen first: she gets her next belt level in karate, or you get back from Kerberos. You usually call your parents Mom and Dad if they're not present, you're just talking about them. I think I've heard you call them 'oka-san' and 'oto-san' like once and it was really formal and stuff, because otherwise I've only heard you call your mom 'Haha' and your dad 'Chichi'."
Shiro was still very quiet and Pidge paused to take a breath, then said,
"And… I'm sorry about Shinji. He… He was really upset after Kerberos and… I think, well, I know he's really angry and confused and he doesn't quite know what to do about it or really how to feel with everything that has happened. He's grieved and been grieving, and now he's not sure what he's supposed to do. But he loves you very much. Really, he does. Like I said, he's angry right now, but he'll get over it. And it's not you he's angry at. It's just everything that has happened."
Shiro finally turned to Pidge with a small smile.
"Thank you, Pidge." He whispered, pulling them closer to his side.
Pidge held onto the arm Shiro had wrapped around them, but also grabbed hold of his other, metal hand. As they grabbed that hand, Shiro tensed, but then relaxed as Pidge ran their fingers over the seams of the metal panels. Pidge wasn't sure why this seemed to relax Shiro, but they weren't going to stop.
"Hey, Shiro?" Pidge said quietly. "Would you… Would you like it if I spoke to your parents and sister first? To let them know about your amnesia and ask them to not bombard you with questions and that sort of thing? I'd only tell them whatever you want them to know."
Pidge glanced up to see Shiro bite his lip, debating, then, so quickly as if he was afraid he'd stop himself, he said,
"Yes. Yes please."
Pidge nodded and resumed the tracing.
"So. What should I cover?"
"Anything but what my arm does, and whatever I did to earn the name 'Champion'." Shiro said, the title spat out bitterly.
"I can do that." Pidge promised.
The two didn't get to sit for much longer, hearing Allura's voice calling out for Shiro.
"Time to move out, I guess." Pidge said, but Shiro didn't move.
"Life seems a lot easier just sitting right here." He said, pulling Pidge back when they tried to move.
"Yeah, I agree." Pidge said. They gently squeezed his arm as they looked up at him. "But if everything was easy, it would be kind of dull, wouldn't it?"
"I like dull." Shiro said, reluctantly letting Pidge out of his grip, Black moving in response to the two Paladins movement, allowing them to stand. "When this is all over, I want the dullest life ever. I want the most exciting thing in my life to be… I don't know, getting a double-coupon deal at the grocery store."
"Watching paint dry." Pidge said with a grin. "On a lawn chair."
"Hmm, I think it would depend on the color to be exciting or not." Shiro said, wrapping an arm around Pidge's shoulders.
"Firetruck red?" Pidge suggested as they walked out from between Black's paws.
"Hmm, maybe. Or how about black? That's edgy."
"Bright pink with glitter."
"Whoa, hold on there, let's not get too crazy. Next thing you know, you'll be wanting to have tacos on meatloaf night."
Pidge couldn't hold back the laughter at that, and was glad to see Shiro laughing as well.
"Ah, there you two are." Allura said as she saw Pidge and Shiro approach the group composed of the Princess, Coran, the other Paladins, Lani, Tali and Shinji.
"Iverson's looking for you, Shiro." Tali said. "So that we can move out."
"Are you going to drive back, Tali?" Shiro asked.
"Nah, I've got a Garrison cadet driving the Jeep back to the rental place." Tali said. She grinned. "I'm going in style."
"Tali has graciously offered to act as a guide for Coran and I, so that you all may spend time with your families while we are on Earth." Allura explained. "So we have offered to transport her in the Castle."
"We want you both to meet our families, though." Pidge said.
"Yeah," Lance said with a grin. "The little kids are going to flip out when I tell them you're a real princess with a real castle."
"And we do look forward to meeting them." Allura said.
"Then let's stop hanging around here and get moving!" Hunk said with a grin.
"Tali, I'm going to ride in one of the Lions!" Lani said excitedly.
"For the record, I do not recommend it." Shinji grumbled, folding his arms over his chest moodily.
"Funny you say that," Pidge said with a sudden, evil grin. "Because you're riding with me in Green."
Shinji's eyes widened.
"Nope, never again am I getting anywhere near that thing…" He said.
"Don't be a baby." Pidge said. "I promise not to leave the atmosphere this time."
Shinji did not look reassured in the slightest.
"Alright then, let's move out." Shiro said.
The other four Paladins nodded and rushed to their Lions, Pidge dragging an unwilling Shinji behind them while Lani—in her excitement—beat Hunk to the feet of Yellow.
Shinji seemed to relax when he realized that this ride was, in fact, going to be much smoother than his first one as Green lifted off, easily falling into place between Black and Yellow.
"Why did you offer to take me?" Shinji asked suspiciously.
"Because," Pidge said after making sure that their microphone was off. "I told Shiro I'd do him a favor, and it involves you."
"Oh?" Shinji said, and Pidge was pleased to see him shift uncomfortably.
"Yeah. You'll see." Pidge said, knowing full well that it probably was not nice to torment the boy, but at the same time thoroughly enjoyed it.
Soaring over the airport and towards the designated landing area for Team Voltron, Pidge saw the collection of military vehicles and soldiers, guarding the perimeters. But Pidge also noticed that there was a large group of people waiting on the tarmac. Pidge's first thought was "reporters". But, then, using Green's keener eyes, saw a familiar face in the crowd.
Their mother.
Pidge smiled, realizing that all of these people were there for the Paladins. It was their families. They could see three women—one about their own age—who they could immediately tell were related to Hunk. Most of the crowd, they knew, was there for Lance. They even saw, towards the front of this group, Shiro's parents and Mitsu, the young girl between her parents, their hands on her shoulders as the Lions and the Castle flew overhead.
They suddenly felt a tug of guilt.
In all the excitement, they had forgotten that there was no one there for Keith. His mother was dead, all they knew about his father was that he was Galra, and they all knew that Keith had spent more than half his life in the foster care system.
The only reassuring thought was that Lance would take care of Keith. Would proudly show him off to his family members and confuse him by having five different conversations in Spanish. Given how they were lately, Keith would probably stayed glued to Lance's side for most of the night.
But for now, they took a deep breath.
They had a mission.
And they sorely needed a hug from their mother.
They waited as the Castle landed, and the Lions returned to their hangers for some well-deserved rest. Pidge led Shinji through the maze of hallways that made up the Castle, going to the door where there was a ramp already lowered. Pidge smiled as they heard a lot of rapid, yelled Spanish from a bit away from the Castle, not surprised at all that Lance would try to be the first down. Hunk, they saw, wasn't too far behind Lance, and Lani behind Hunk.
Pidge saw their mother as soon as their feet were on the ground again, grinning and running into her arms.
"I've missed you, baby." Her mother breathed, holding Pidge tightly to her and kissing the top of their messy hair.
"I've missed you, too, Mom." Pidge said. Reluctantly, they pulled back some, looking up at their Mother. They wondered briefly if her eyes had always looked that lined, if those gray hairs had always been there. "Mom, I know you have a lot of questions, and I have so much I want to tell you, but first I really need to talk the Shiroganes."
Mrs. Holt looked confused, but nodded, keeping an arm around Pidge's shoulders.
"Alright." She said.
"You can come too," Pidge added quickly, though they knew it was mostly selfish, not wanting to be away from their mother. "I just… Well, it'll make sense in a moment."
Mrs. Holt nodded and went over to the Shiroganes, where Shinji was being hugged by his mother and the four assembled family members were speaking in Japanese until Dr. Shirogane saw the Holts.
"Hello, Katie." Dr. Shirogane said in his slow, accented English. "Or do you prefer Pidge?"
"Pidge is fine." Pidge said.
"Shinji said you flew one of those Lions!" Mitsu said excitedly.
"I'm the Green Lion's Paladin, yes." Pidge said. They took a deep breath, then said, "And Takashi is the pilot of the Black Lion."
Mrs. Shirogane asked something in Japanese, but Pidge only caught one word: "Takashi"
"He'll be out in a few minutes," Pidge promised. "But, he's… Well, he's kind of nervous. I guess that's the best word for it."
And so that was how Pidge started to do one of the things Pidge did best: ramble. Pidge explained about the amnesia, the PTSD, expressed doubt that he would have a flashback while on Earth but if he did they didn't think it'd be one of the more unpleasant memories of being held captive, and that he didn't remember much Japanese at that moment.
Both of Shiro's parents looked stricken. Mitsu looked sad and thoughtful. Shinji's expression was somewhat familiar to Pidge, the expression he got when he was closing himself off. But Pidge was a little smug to determine a pinch of guilt in his eyes, then immediately felt bad for having that smug feeling.
Pidge finally stopped talking, feeling their cheeks heat some and just praying that they said all the right things and none of the wrong ones. They got their confirmation when, suddenly, Mrs. Shirogane reached out and cupped Pidge's cheeks in her hands before gently bending down to kiss Pidge's forehead.
"Thank you." She whispered. "Takashi… He may not be same person inside. And outside. But don't care. Still my son. Still my baby."
She then looked over Pidge's head, at where Lance had no less than three kids attached to him, with his parents also keeping a firm hand on him, as if they were afraid he'd disappear like smoke; at where Hunk was twirling his older sister in his arms while his little sister clung to his back; and at Keith, who had been dragged over to meet the families, initially by Lance to meet his family, then unexpectedly swooped into a hug by Mrs. Kekoa and was learning exactly who Hunk learned how to give bear-hugs from.
"You're all babies…" Mrs. Shirogane whispered, then returned her gaze back to Pidge. Her smile grew some, and it warmed Pidge's heart to see that it was very similar to Shiro's. "Thank you. For bringing home."
Pidge felt their cheeks heat and mumbled out a "you're welcome", not really sure what else to say.
They were slightly relieved when Keith appeared, placing a hand on Pidge's shoulder.
"I'll take them to Shiro," Keith said. "You spend some time with your mom."
Pidge thanked Keith, who then led the four Shiroganes towards the Castle, right as Shiro himself was coming down the ramp.
Pidge watched with a smile as Shiro was suddenly bombarded by his parents and little sister, Mitsu's arms around his waist, Dr. Shirogane's fingers in Shiro's hair, Mrs. Shirogane holding his face to kiss his forehead just as she had done with Pidge a few minutes before.
Pidge felt another hand on their shoulder, and looked up at their mother.
"You did really well." She said, giving her child a smile. "You handled the situation very well. Your father would be so proud of you…"
Pidge blinked back tears at the mention of their father.
"Mom, Dad and Matt… They're alive." Pidge said, reaching up to put their hand on their mother's. "I still don't know where they are, but I'm going to find them. Going to bring them home."
"I know you are." Mrs. Holt said with a small sigh. "Because you are my child, and stubborn like that. And because you are your father's child, you'll save the universe while you're at it."
Mrs. Holt gently cupped Pidge's face, kissing them on the forehead.
"I won't say that I'm not scared. I can't promise I won't worry. But I will say that I am proud of you. I can promise that I will support you. And promise that no matter what happens, I will always love you, Pidge." She said.
Pidge tried to swallow back the tears, but they just kept coming back into their eyes.
"Mom?" They said softly. "Can… For as long as I'm here… Can you call me Katie? Things seemed a lot easier when I was just Katie. As long as I'm here on Earth, can I be your baby girl instead of just your baby?"
Pidge felt the hot tears roll down their—no, emher, Katie/em wanted to be a emher/em right now in emher/em mother's arms—cheeks, wondering if it was just her own tears that were making her mother's eyes also look watery.
"Yes, Katie." Mrs. Holt said, pulling Katie into another hug, showering her with kisses, hands going through her hair. "Yes, my baby girl. You can be."
Wrapped in her mother's arms, Katie cried.
Because in that moment, she wasn't a Paladin of Voltron, pilot of the Green Lion.
She wasn't Pidge Gunderson, or Pidge Holt.
She was still both. Would wake up the next morning and be both. Would return to the Castle and leave Earth and go back to being both full time.
But for now, she was just Katie.
And that was something she had not been in a very long time.
