this isn't beta'ed so I'm so sorry for any mistakes, typos, etc.
She was on a marble balcony, her dress billowing gently around her legs in a sweet scented breeze. Between the balcony's white pillars she could see the starless night sky, the blue sliver of the Earth held bound in its inky blackness. Holding out her arms, she stretched her fingers toward the blue planet, opening her palms in desperation.
A footfall behind her made her whirl. "V-chan," her lips quivered in spite of herself. "He won't answer me."
Her senshi guardian sighed, shaking her head so golden hair shimmered across her shoulders. "And he won't. He is not yours, Serenity. He never was."
A burning feeling in her throat, contradiction crackling through every fiber of her being. "That is wrong. I am his, and he is mine. We are bound. By something even you cannot understand!" Even as she spoke the words, she knew their truth. Something had happened, the very day her eyes met his, something that shook the cosmos to the core and trembled the very streams of time.
But even Serenity couldn't conceive of the concept in so many words, and seemed to her guardians to be nothing but a silly lovesick girl, who was playing a very dangerous game. But she knew better. And his absence was becoming a physical ache in her chest.
"Then explain why you haven't heard a word," Venus countered, hands on hips, "why he has not contacted you as he promised he would?"
Serenity opened her mouth to retort then froze, knitting her brows. "Venus," she said, "how do you know what he promised me?"
"Serenity-"
"You - you've been keeping his messages from me!"
Venus didn't deny it.
"How could you?"
Venus' explanations fell on deaf ears as Serenity pushed past her and into the airy rooms of her palace.
There was a blur, the memory fading into a fog. Just raised voices, voices of her senshi, her own voice, mingled in a din of accusations and tears.
Then it snapped into vivid clarity. Venus' voice. The sound of a hand hitting flesh, running footsteps, and tears.
So many tears.
"There are worse things than heartbreak."
Usagi woke with a start. Her head ached, she reached up and rubbed her forehead where the moon symbol was quiet. Dormant. Slowly she became aware of her surroundings. She knew this room. Outside the large picture window, the rainbow bridge twinkled in the night, stretching out toward Odaiba. She had commented on this very view less than two weeks ago. She was on a sofa against the wall of the room where she'd had tea with Kosuke… no, Kunzite… was it really so recently?
Outside the door, muffled voices. The familiar lilt of her friends', the male voices of Mamoru's friends. Usagi jumped up and walked toward the door. For a moment she hesitated, the voices on the other side were raised and agitated.
"If you had only left well enough alone!"
"Well enough? If it weren't for us, your princess-"
"Our princess was fine, we were never more than fifty feet from her all week! Even if she didn't realize it…"
"That youma wasn't even the worst she could throw at us, you know."
"We were handling all the youma she threw at us just fine while you were drinking in pubs in Boston!"
She?
Something clenched in Usagi's stomach, a memory tried to bubble to the surface bringing with it a myriad of sickening emotions. Hurt, betrayal, promises and heartbreak...
But the memory refused to crystalize.
In any case, Usagi was sick of being spoken about, and for once she wanted to be the one doing the speaking. Narrowing her eyes, she pushed the door open and stepped out into the hallway.
Minako noticed her first, and by lifting her chin and leaning forward slightly signaled everyone else to turn toward her. Well, almost everyone else.
"Where are Ami, Mamoru and Jun?" Usagi asked, at the same time Makoto said, "How are you feeling?"
Usagi ignored Makoto's question and focused on Minako's deep breath.
"Jun was hurt. Ami is in the other room, keeping an eye on him and Mamoru."
"Is he okay? How was he hurt? and why Mamoru?" Usagi was already pushing past the group. "Where are they?"
Kosuke put a hand on Usagi's arm, "Miss Tsukino-"
"I told you, it's Usagi," she answered automatically, not sure where the sharpness in her voice came from.
"My apologies. Please, listen this has been a long night for all of us-"
"What happened." Usagi demanded, turning to Rei, Makoto and Minako. She suddenly felt a strange deja vu, confronting her friends, who all shared a look that seemed to say they knew something she didn't. Something she wasn't going to like.
"You were attacked. Jun stopped the monster but it blasted him with some latent energy from our attacks. Ami has been attending to him, with Mamoru's help-"
Usagi listened as she walked through a cavernous hallway, looking for the 'other room' Minako had mentioned. It seemed this place was all windows and open space, rooms branching off here and there from a wide, open foyer. She finally came to a room with one large bed, occupied by an unconscious Jun. Ami sat beside him in a chair, her head snapped up when Usagi ran into the room. Mamoru was lying on a sofa against the window, eyes closed and pale. Usagi didn't know who to go to first.
A movement in the corner of the room caught her eye, and she blinked as Luna and Artemis padded to the doorway. Luna looked up at Usagi mournfully and brushed against her legs.
"What-"
"He's very weak," Ami reported to the group, looking at Jun. "But I think he'll pull through."
The relief was palatable, even from the other girls, as the group filed into the room taking various places nearby the two recouping men. Usagi stayed by the door, grasping the doorknob, her mind reeling.
"Thanks mostly to Mamoru," Ami continued, and Usagi bit her lip, turning her gaze from Jun to Mamoru, who opened his eyes and smiled weakly at Usagi as if to show he was okay.
"How-"
"Mamoru has healing powers," Kunzite said, simply. "But he may have over extended himself with this." Kunzite gave Mamoru an admonishing look that barely hid admiration and, almost, tenderness.
"Mamoru has Endymion's powers, hmm," Rei said, her hand over her chin. "How do they compare to before?"
Minako looked at Rei sharply, and gesturing with her eyes toward Usagi.
It didn't matter. Usagi already knew the name.
Endymion.
Mamoru sat up, slowly and Ami rushed to his side to take his pulse. "Take it slow. Your blood pressure is still pretty low."
"I am not as powerful as Endymion was," Mamoru muttered. "I don't know if I'll ever be."
"You four seemed to be reborn with all your original powers," Zachary said.
Even as Zachary spoke, Kosuke's gaze turned to Usagi. "Yes, you four," he murmured. Mamoru gave him a sharp glance.
"We weren't quite that lucky," Nate added, shrugging with his hands in his pockets. His tone was nonchalant, but his eyes were on Jun when he spoke. "We do what we can with what we have."
There were a few moments of silence.
"I'm so sorry!" Usagi finally burst out.
Eight pairs of eyes looked at her in shock.
"This is my fault," she said, slowly falling to her knees and tears burned hot behind her eyes. A small part of her mind was telling this was neither the time nor the place to break down, but as usual her heart won out over her mind. She was exhausted, she was hurt, she missed her friends and she was oh, so guilty about Jun, about Mamoru, about watching her friends die over and over in her dreams. Usagi was barely aware she was still blubbering through her tears, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I don't know why they want me, I don't want you to die again, you can't die again…"
Dimly, Usagi registered a pair of arms wrapped around her, a familiar rose scent she recognized as Makoto's perfume. There was movement and footsteps and Usagi felt herself being picked up out of the room and walked down the hallway and placed gently on a cushiony chair. She felt Minako's hand brush her hair back, Makoto keeping her in a hug. Felt Luna's warm body in her lap - a rush of comfort.
"Oh, Usagi," Rei's voice broke. "I'm so sorry about before."
"Me, too-" Usagi sobbed and felt herself crushed by a circle of arms, damp hair brushing her face and warmth of her friends - her senshi, her protectors - her life, surrounding her.
Luna purred and Usagi looked her through watery eyes. A memory dawned over her. "I remember you, Luna," she said, hoarsely. "I am sorry it's been so long since we talked."
"Oh, Usagi-" the cat's voice broke in a surprisingly human way. "I was always watching over you."
Usagi buried her face in the warm fur and tried to stop sobbing. There was too much to talk about, too much to do, to be sitting here crying.
And she had so many questions.
The tears still refused to stop. "Everything is so messed up," she sniffled, rubbing her hand over her face roughly. The salt stung her skin, and she felt someone press a clean tissue into her hand. "I didn't know he had those kind of powers. Ma-Mamoru… he- he hasn't spoken to me for over a week." She pressed the tissue to her face.
"I have a confession," Ami said, softly.
But Usagi already knew, even as they explained. Mamoru hadn't contacted her because Ami had blocked all possible numbers he could use from Usagi's phone, because Rei told him Usagi didn't want him, because Makoto threatened him, because Minako had confronted him and made it very clear the damage it would cause if he pursued a relationship in this lifetime. She knew it wasn't the first time they'd kept Mamoru from her - in this lifetime or the last.
"It doesn't matter," she said, dully. "None of that would have kept him away if he really-"
A hand hit the back of her head, gently but with no small amount of exasperation. "You really are an idiot, blondie." Rei's voice had an undertone of tenderness. "He left the country to protect you the last time he thought he might endanger you. You really think he wasn't pushing past us to you because he doesn't care about you?"
Her friends protecting her. Protecting her heart. Something sparked in her memory.
"Who is that 'she' I heard you talking about before?" Usagi asked. "Who is sending these monsters to kill me?"
"It doesn't matter, " Minako said firmly.
"She knows who I am!" Usagi protested, crumbing the tissue in her hand. "My family - anyone could be in danger right now!"
Rei shook her head. "We don't think she knows who you are. We think the youma was looking. Or maybe - mistook you for Minako."
Minako gave an ironic half shrug. "That's what they always called me. The youma. 'Little Princess'. We found you, little princess. Nice to see you again, little princess. Are you ready to die, little princess?" Both Minako and Usagi gave small, involuntary shivers, although Usagi's was much more noticeable.
"We want them to believe I'm the princess, although coming out as Sailor Venus may have confused them. But -" Minako took a deep breath, "I think they don't know who you are yet. At least not for sure. They may suspect but… you didn't emit the power signature sh- they - were looking for. You didn't get a chance."
"Thanks to Jun," Makoto said, softly.
Usagi lowered her head.
"Do not feel guilty, do you hear me?" Rei said firmly. "We are all doing what we have to do to keep you alive."
Usagi just looked at her hands, trying to keep from balling them into fists. "But I still have nightmares about the last time you did that," she whispered. Knowing it was a cruel thing to say, knowing it didn't make a difference.
The sky was just starting to lighten when they all, except Jun and Mamoru, sat down to breakfast.
When Ami suggested it might be a good idea for the group to eat and hydrate, Nate was ready to run to the all-night 7/11 for some instant noodles, Kosuke mused that his cook wasn't due in until mid-morning, and Rei suggested searching the kitchen for some quick rice or something. All it took was one glance at the fully stocked, clean and cavernous kitchen for Makoto to clap in delight, grab the nearest two (Zachary and Rei) as her sous chefs and shoo everyone else out of the kitchen while she made a warm breakfast.
"We don't need a gourmet meal," Nate said, as he placed Kosuke's best silverware and china plates around the table - at Minako's direction.
"Don't be silly," Makoto's voice echoed in from the kitchen. "At times like this, food is the best remedy for our bodies and our souls."
"Right, Usagi?" Minako said with a wink. Usagi gave a weak smile.
And everyone had to admit, they felt much better after even a few bites of Makoto's famous vanilla french toast, with sides of scrambled eggs and fresh greens and fruit.
At Ami's direction, Makoto had put together a plate of rice and broth and set it aside for when Jun awoke, and Usagi made up a generous tray of breakfast food for Mamoru, insisting on delivering it to him and running off (holding the plate with great concentration so as not to drop it) before anyone could protest.
For a while, a few "pass the syrup"s, and "who wants coffee?"s where the only words anyone spoke around the table, and Minako noted it was the most amiable they'd all been together.
But, as breakfast was cleared, conversation inevitably turned to next steps.
There was a debate of whether to take Jun to a hospital, and it was ultimately decided he was well enough to stay where he was, but they'd see what he wanted when he woke up. It was also decided that once the trains started running again, everyone would head home - hopefully before any family started getting worried.
As far as what to do after that, the girls flat out refused to discuss it. Ami, always diplomatic, pointed out that everyone was exhausted and worried, and it wasn't worth getting into an argument at this time. Nate and Zachary shared a look and agreed, especially after seeing the stone set in Minako's eyes.
"Since you cooked, I'll clean," Minako said, starting to gather the plates.
"I will, too," Kosuke said, standing up to help. No doubt he was hoping to speak to Minako about the situation, but the only sounds that came from the kitchen after that was the loud clanging of dishes as Minako rather violently washed them and shoved them into Kosuke's hands to dry. Seeing the storminess of her blue eyes, he decided against any further conversation for the time being. He was content to watch her focus, wondering what was spinning around in her mind. Guessing her next steps would be difficult, getting it out of her would be impossible.
He decided he had to try.
"We want the same thing," he said, finally. He voice was quiet, but not soft. Minako did not look at him.
"How do you know what I want," she said, her stormy eyes focusing on the sponge in her hands. She scrubbed at the already clean plate like she was trying to kill it.
"Because it's what you've always wanted. The princess to be safe, the world to be free from the clutches of darkness."
"Maybe," she said, "maybe we do want the same thing." She turned and shoved one last plate into his hands to dry and left with a whirl of blonde hair and a purposeful gait. "But there are sacrifices I'm not willing to make." She paused by the door and didn't look at him while she quietly added: "And some I am."
"I brought you breakfast," Usagi said, setting the tray on a table beside the sofa. "And I didn't drop it on the floor once."
"Encouraging," he said, with a half-smile, sitting up carefully. "Did you eat?" he said, as she stood awkwardly beside him. "You can have some."
Usagi had shoved three or four pieces of french toast into her mouth while Makoto was still finishing up breakfast, still, the food on Mamoru's plate looked really good. She sat down next to him, gingerly, and took an orange slice in her hand. Mamoru was quiet, almost shy as he slowly ate a few bites of toast, after nearly attacking the mug of black coffee she'd brought him. Usagi thought he seemed happy for her company. She watched him for a bit out of the corner of her eye while she bounced her legs and ate the rest of the orange and another slice of french toast off his plate. The silence didn't seem awkward, but Usagi knew it was leading to something and for a moment she just enjoyed the soft feeling of sitting here, beside Mamoru, with her friends in the next room, in this building which seemed to rise so far above the reality of the city below it. For a moment, Usagi felt safe.
"How are you?" She finally asked. He seemed less pale, his eyes more focused.
"Much better," he said, looking up. For a moment their eyes met, then he turned away.
"Usagi," he started. Swallowed, looked at her again. "I-"
Then Jun stirred.
"You're awake!" Usagi jumped up and ran to him, Mamoru following.
Jun gave her a weak smile, "Hey."
"I'll get Ami," Usagi said, and ran off down the hallway.
"Hey, Mamoru," Jun said, and then paused, looking up at the ceiling for a moment. "Thanks, man. For, like, ya know. The voo-doo healing thing."
Mamoru shifted on his feet, and shrugged with a small smile. "Least I could do."
At that moment the rest of the group piled in, Nate loudly congratulating Jun on surviving the night, Zachary adjusting his pillows, Kosuke just sharing a relieved smile with the younger man. In the meantime, Ami bustled in between them, taking Jun's pulse, checking his pupils, asking him questions. Makoto brought in the food and set it down beside him. Rei punched him lightly in the arm, and gave him what probably passed as a half-smile, if you squinted. "Glad you didn't die on us," she said.
Usagi walked slowly to the bed, her arms crossed awkwardly in front of her. "Jun-", she bit her lip. "Um. I wanted to- thank yo-"
"Happy to," Jun interrupted. He looked at Usagi and gave a small, sincere smile. "Anytime."
For a moment neither spoke.
Then Ami broke the moment by waving her arms at the group, "Okay, okay everyone out of here. I want some time with the patient, Jun needs to eat and rest, so everyone go, go!"
"She's usually so quiet and sweet," Nate muttered as Ami somehow pushed all of them out of the room with only her two arms.
"Not when she's Doctor Ami," Rei answered back.
A few minutes later, Usagi stood alone before the same large picture window watching the sky being to lighten from black to a cool and sterile blue.
"Usagi," Mamoru's voice came from the doorway. He stepped in and gently closed the door behind him.
She turned and he didn't met her eyes.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I called and called, but the phone never picked up. It didn't even go to voicemail -"
"Ami," Usagi said, nodding.
"I figured," he answered. "I mean, I could have found you. I know where you hang out. But, you know," he glanced toward the door. "Those girls - they only want what is best for you."
"Yeah, they made that clear," Usagi said, not unkindly.
Mamoru sighed, put his hands in his pockets and just looked Usagi sadly. She hated that look in his eyes. She realized now it was familiar. He'd looked at her that way sometimes - right before he left Japan.
"The thing is, Mamoru," she took two quick steps so she was standing before him. "The thing is, they don't know what's best for me."
She put a hand on his chest, gently, and he curled his fingers around hers. "I need to decide what's best for me," she said. "And I don't know what to do because last time - last time we-," she took a deep breath and made herself meet his eyes. "I'm done being scared of what happened. Or what might happen. I missed you so much," her voice broke but she continued, Mamoru's hand tightening on hers. "I missed you when you were in America, I missed you last week. I hurt without you."
"Me too," he barely whispered.
"I don't know what's going to happen," she said, looking at him with clear eyes. "I can't see the future. All I know is, I want you beside me. I need you with me. I'm sure of that." She gave a wiry smile, "It's actually the only thing I'm sure of right now."
Mamoru was quiet for so long, just looking at her, that Usagi was worried he wasn't going to answer at all. Or that he was figuring out how to let her down gently. She was just about to panic when she felt the warm weight of his free hand on the top of her head. His thumb stroked her forehead, and his fingers brushed down the part in her hair, until the pads of his fingers brushed the back of her neck. She shut her eyes and leaned on his chest as his hand moved to her back, pulled her close into a tight hug, their hands still entwined together between them.
"Okay," Mamoru said softly, into her hair. "I couldn't stay away, anyway. Sweet Usako." He kissed her forehead gently.
"Don't leave me again," Usagi said. Even underneath her small smile, there was no mistaking the seriousness of her tone.
"Never," he said. He pulled back a little and moved his hands to her face, gently cradling her head, brushing soft tendrils of hair back from her face. He bent to kiss her, and - oh how she want to kiss him- but Usagi pulled away and looked in his eyes. Those beautiful, ocean-blue eyes.
"Don't leave me out of the loop anymore," Usagi continued. She hated to end this moment between them, but she knew there was more she needed to know. Needed to understand. "I have to know all the information. I need to understand my past as best I can." She bit a lip, stepped back and loosely took his hands in hers. "What you remember, what you know, it could help me. We need to figure it out together."
Mamoru nodded, slowly. He took a deep breath and shut his eyes for a moment. Then he opened them and looked at her, ready. "What do you want to know?"
"Who is 'she'?" Usagi said, asking the question her senshi had avoided answering. "Who is this mysterious 'she' who is sending youma to attack my friends? Who wants me dead so badly she waited thousands of years to do it?"
Mamoru worked his jaw for a moment. Then he seemed to steel himself, and looked Usagi right in the eyes.
"Beryl," he said. "Her name is Queen Beryl."
Outside, the sun rose, violently burning away the night with fiery orange rays.
