Disclaimer: WE all know that I don't own a damn thing, no point in attempting to sue an innocent writer with no social life.
A/N: Uhhgg, terribly sorry about how long it took me to upload this. I celebrated becoming a year older a few days ago and well, I still have a headache. I know it's a horrible excuse and I should be hit upside the head, but I hope you can overlook my stupidity and read on.
Also italics are memories/lyrics, okie dokie?
WARNING: You finally get to know who the guy I was talking about in the last chapter was in case you haven't figured out. Also you may feel the urge to hit the computer out of disgust. Also I'm writing this at three in the morning so cut me some slack? Or not.
Unleashed Memories
Chapter 6
Why my sweet dear, Ashley. Aren't you glad to see me? I've been away for so long on tour with your father and this is the response I get from my favorite little girl? That saddens me, but you know what would make me feel so much better? Yes that's right, I want to play a game.
Rules are simple as they always are, and remember that our fun stays between the two of us. You do a little something for me and in return how about a game of Monopoly, I hear that is your favorite game nowadays. Don't worry it's the same thing I do with your mom, isn't that special? She does it for me all the time and now you can too.
It's quite okay Ashley, sometimes it can hurt. But that doesn't mean it won't get any better soon, well once you get use to it that is. Just like always, you can stare out the window if you so please.
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I have an excruciating headache, and I remember why. Staring down at my body I realize that I am indeed still dressed and I thank God for those little miracles, but at the same time I curse him knowing full well that people like Dave exist. He was one of my dad's best friends that would come along for his tours. Good ol Dave Johnson, "most innocent and wonderful man to grace the Earth", complete and utter bullshit. I was only four years old when it started, and it wouldn't end till I reached nine, sick bastard really liked 'em young. I use to look up to him and stare in wonder, I don't even recall how it all occurred but I'm damn sure about how it stopped.
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You know that wasn't very nice of you Ashley, I could easily tell your dad just how naughty you are being right now. He wouldn't like that very much would he? After all you're just a stupid little girl compared to the man that I am, HIS best friend and worthy of any attention he gives me. You on the other hand deserve absolutely nothing.
I was going to play our game but you just couldn't take it could you? Can't handle a real man? How dare you kick me? I am your master, I'm in control and don't you dare forget it, you little bitch.
Now then, let us get down to business. I'll stop "bothering" you as you claim I am, as long as our little secret stays what it is, a secret.
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That night when he came into my room, my only being the tender age of nine, beat the shit out of him.
My bed was next to the wall near the door, meaning upon entering you could easily access my bed. Plugged into the wall was my angel night-light, she was beautiful, large detailed wings that soared, a golden halo resting upon her brow, and flowing locks of blonde, not to mention those crystalline blue eyes that made you think you were lost as sea. Her heavenly gown was also an impressive sight, last but not least a white light that was lucid, seemingly buring itself into our atmosphere.
He entered with a game in mind, I simply countered it with my own. When he sat on the side of my bed resting his god awful calloused hand on my forearm, I knew what I had to do. Quickly hitting him with my stuffed care bear so that he was thrown off, I turned to my left, yanking out my prized light. I saw the sparks fly from the brute force I used, it didn't even faze me. The pointed tips of the wings on her majestic body quickly became the source of his anguish. Slicing open his right cheek, tearing his eyebrow, and successfully making him feel a portion of the pain I had felt for so long, brought the most eerie grin onto my face.
I felt the blood splatter on me, and I couldn't have felt any better. The years from his sweet talking, detrimental, condescending, seemingly bi-polar ways slowly faded as the lie erased itself.
He took everything from me, my happy life, my mother, my pride, my virginity, and what I hate the most, my innocence. The only thing he gave me was years of therapy, medication, hospitalization, and the price was my mental health.
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The night he had reappeared in my hospital room brought back a waterfall of emotion. After he had hit me I expected him to do something drastic, he didn't though. I see now that it was all a ploy to diminish my will power. He had once had control of my body, but never my mind. The only uncharted territory left untouched my his hands.
Looking around my room I notice nothing out of the ordinary, I sigh realizing that maybe it was all a dream. Walking into my bathroom to splash some water on my face proves otherwise when I notice a large mound of bruised flesh peaking out from my hair. This day couldn't get any better for me if I tried, actually before I go and jinx myself it may be worth while to go and eat my breakfast.
Well that's not really the only reason, Spencer, hmm yes now that's a little more convincing.
After what happened yesterday I'm assuming we're on talking terms now.
I guess my only real concern now is how do I explain this damned mark on my head without staff thinking I "self harmed". Seriously, any stray marks that obviously don't belong there are automatically thought to have been brought on by myself, because simply no one else on this plant is capable of doing such things.
All there seemingly high-tech gadgets and gizmos, did nothing to stop Dave last night, hell I'm not even sure if they caught him on camera.
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Three days later---
"Ashley, come on don't act that way." Spencer was pissed, and she sure as hell made it very clear to me. I ignored her for one day, the next I barely acknowledge her or anyone else for that mater, and today, well lets not even go there.
"What do you want me to say? That I was lying? No mater what I tell the staff they wouldn't believe me, he was there that night. If I could prove it you now that I would, and anyway you know me well enough to be sure that I wouldn't lie about something like this." She's angering me, I know its not on purpose but what can I say? She knows just the right buttons to push, and she knows just how long or how hard to keep them down. I hate that, but at the same time I can't help but love it.
"I don't want you to do or say anything that isn't true, but I also want you to be completely sure before throwing something like that out there. What would they think? God, I don't even want to think about the things they may try to pull off." I can hear the genuine concern in her voice but right now this isn't what I need to hear and I know that she knows this.
I leave her alone, making sure that we will still be on talking terms for later. A quick reassuring hug that thankfully no one catches is how I show her, or at least attempt to.
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Laying on my bed, staring at the wall, and burning a hole into the wretched piece of green, I think. The lack of sound is oddly deafening, naturally I decide to turn on the radio. One of Saliva's song starts to play, Always. I like this one, it just hits home, how? Well I can't answer it completely without remembering everything that goes hand in hand with it.
------------------Begin Spencer's POV
Once again Ashley left me standing there, I have to wonder sometimes if she gets some sort of sick kick out of this. And damn me for sticking around for it. Walking into my room which was recently moved to be next to Ashley's, I planned on squeezing in a short little nap. Upon entering my room I hear faint music coming through the crack in my wall, hmm, Always by Saliva.
I hear, a voice say "Don't be so blind"
It's telling me all these things
That you would probably hide
Am I, your one and only desire
Am I the reason you breathe
Or am I the reason you cry?
Always, always, always, always, always, always, I love you (Done with you, done with you, done with you, done with you, done with you) I feel, like you don't want me around Always, always, always, always, always, always, I love you I left my head around your heart, Always, always, always, always. I see, the blood all over your hands I love you
I just can't live without you...
I hate you
I can't get around you.
I breathe you
I taste you
I can't live without you.
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door
And now I'm done with you.
I guess I'll pack all my things
I guess I'll see you around
It's all, been bottled up until now
As I walk out your door
All I can hear is the sound
I just can't live without you...
I hate you
I can't get around you.
I breathe you
I taste you
I can't live without you.
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door
And now I'm done with you.
I love you
I hate you
I can't live without you.
Why would you tear my world apart?
Does it make you feel, more like a man
Was it all, just a part of your plan
The pistol's shakin' in my hands
And all I hear is the sound.
I hate you
I can't live without you.
I breathe you
I taste you
I can't live without you.
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door
And now I'm done with you.
----------------End Spencer's POV
I love you Always
I hate you
I can't live without you.
I love you
I hate you
I can't live without you.
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I pick myself off the floor,
And now I'm done with you.
Always
I love this song and hate how it makes me think of her, and all the times I've fucked up.
Always.
