Author's Note:I am terrible at keeping promises. I said I'd make this chapter super long to make up for my lack of activity and yet... Sigh. But I had to cut this one short though, you have to understand, dear readers. Towards the end, I felt stumped and couldn't move on no matter how hard I tried. I realized then that I needed to shift POVs and to do that I had to chop up the chapter. That being said, I'm so sorry for the wait... if anyone out there still bothers with this thing. If anyone is still reading this, I thank you kindly. I just realized it's been a year since I first started this fanfic. Woah.
Also, did you guys hear the latest news? They're making a season 2 of Project K! Yay! It'll pick up where the movie left off, I think. Sadly though, I have yet to actually see the movie. I hope to soon though.
Aoi
The words on the page blurred and my grip on the book shook as another wave of exhaustion passed through me. Jo and the rest of the March sisters' escapades halted as I fought for balance for the tenth time that day. Usually, Alcott's Little Women relaxed me whenever I'm feeling particularly stressed – something about the March sisters' innocence and wit always gave me strength – but this time was different. I suppose it was because the strain that I was feeling was more physical as compared to what I felt in the past which was more mental and/or emotional.
Taking a deep breath, I leaned back into the trunk of the tree I had sought solace in and shut my eyes tight. The world was still swimming by the time I opened my eyes again but at least it wasn't so bad as before. I could actually move around more easily somewhat and bear the muscle cramps when necessary. Things weren't getting any better but it was getting easier.
Absently, I picked on the grass by my side and thought back to the events of the past two weeks alone. An all too familiar auburn-haired boy popped into my head but I desperately shook his face away. If I thought about him now then…
A heavy weight settled in my chest as my attempts of not thinking about Yata-san failed and my longing to see him, to talk to him, grew profoundly. The hardships I had to go through the past days were nothing compared to how badly I missed him. Every time I felt like giving up, I thought about him and felt even more motivated to do better. I had to do this… I had to, if I wanted to be with him – and I do. I want to be with him terribly.
It was agony keeping away from Yata-san at first but shame and fear helped me avoid seeing him. Though Yata-san wouldn't admit it – and, knowing him, he never ever would – I had caused him that pain. My weakness pulled him down and not even his monumental strength could make up for me.
I couldn't face him then. I still couldn't face him now. The feeling of being so unworthy of even his friendship was still so raw and constant that I couldn't bring myself to read any of his messages, which filled my inbox to no end. I couldn't even look at my phone anymore because then I'd see his name on the screen. A few times he even tried calling me – which probably meant he was really worried about me because he knew how uncomfortable I was with phone calls – but I just didn't have the strength to pick up.
Clenching my fist, my resolve grew and whatever exhaustion I felt seconds ago abated just a bit. The past few days of constantly struggling would all be worth it if I could just-
"Oh there you are, Aoi-san!"
I jumped when a familiar voice snapped me out of my reverie. A lanky blond all but hopped down next to me and I had to stifle a frown and force a more genial expression on my face.
"Hello, Tamaki-san." I said none too cheerfully.
As of late, Tamaki-san has been rather attentive of me, though I'm not sure why. He never used to take notice of me before but now it seemed as though he had suddenly made it his life's goal to get close to me for some reason or other. It actually made me uneasy.
Tamaki-san beamed at me, not the least bit suspicious of my sudden subdued spirit. "I've been looking all over for you. When I couldn't find you anywhere in the library, I was sure that you'd suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth!" He adjusted his position next to me so his back was to the trunk of the tree and his left arm slung casually around me.
I flinched and subtly leaned forward, though it hardly did any good since Tamaki-san was oblivious, as usual, to my discomfort.
"I didn't think you were the type to lounge about outside though, Aoi-san." He went on. "Why the sudden desire for a change of scenery?"
When he asked that, a knot tightened in my stomach. Truth be told, it was because of Tamaki-san that I wanted to spend free period outside on the courtyard like this. The thought made me extremely guilty – especially since Tamaki-san's face looked so earnest – but I really wanted to be by myself today. Tamaki-san's company always seemed to exhaust me and today, in particular, I was just too tired. So I sought refuge outdoors, hoping that he wouldn't find me and that I wouldn't have to make polite conversation with him. I didn't think he'd find me this easily.
"Um… I guess I felt like I wanted some fresh air, that's all." I said, not really lying.
"Really? I see…" He leaned back and was quiet for a while. Awkwardly, I tried, in vain, to keep a calm composure, silently counting the seconds before I could "casually" reseat myself a few inches away from him.
The silence became unbearable – for me, anyway – so I cleared my throat and, pretending to stretch, moved some ways away from him then asked, "Wh-why were you looking for me though, Tamaki-san?"
"Hm? Well, because I wanted to talk to you, of course!" He answered, smiling at me as though I had asked a silly question.
But why? I wanted to shout at him but couldn't. Tamaki-san and I really had almost nothing in common, aside from being in the same class. Our little talks are mostly just polite exchanges that are so awkward that it's painful. We don't even have one mutual friend. I couldn't understand why he'd want to talk to me so much. I couldn't understand him at all.
Suddenly I felt another deep sense of longing to see and talk to Yata-san. I bet he'd be able to shed some light into some curious things Tamaki-san has been doing. They're both guys, after all. Different guys from really different worlds but still…
Without meaning to, I ended up remembering some things about Yata-san that only made me miss him more. I remembered his gruff but nonthreatening voice, though I suppose some certain people might argue with that, and how it always seemed to put me at ease despite its roughness. I remembered how engrossed he could get at talking about a certain topic – skateboarding, videogames, and his King, Mikoto-san, for instance - and I'd get caught up in his energy too and feel like I wasn't a such a stranger to his world. I remembered how he'd listen to me attentively in a way that made me feel that he was honestly interested and not just humoring me at all. I remembered how his eyes would gleam whenever something would excite him and how those very eyes that looked sharp enough to cut a person could look so gentle and kind in an instant.
Remembering all those things made me forget about Tamaki-san and my uneasiness. I felt a tug in my heart and felt tears threatening to spill. If it wasn't for Tamaki-san suddenly pushing me out of my thoughts, I'm pretty sure I would have cried.
"Are you alright, Aoi-san?" He asked, a worried expression on his face.
I couldn't trust my voice to keep steady just then so I merely nodded and turned away to hide my face. That didn't seem to stop him though.
"You don't seem like it."
I felt a hand on my chin and, before I knew it, Tamaki-san's face was inches away from mine. His face had an expression that I couldn't read at all.
"You're thinking about him again, aren't you? Your friend?" There was a lilt in his tone when he said the word 'friend' and it baffled me. It baffled me even more to think that he remembered about Yata-san even though I only mentioned him once before, on our first talk.
I must have made a face just then because another strange look passed in Tamaki-san's face. I was about to move away from him when he continued.
"Aoi-san, look…" He said. His eyes suddenly looked more determined and I was a bit intimidated by it. "I was wondering if…"
But that was as far as Tamaki-san got because Megumi suddenly burst in, making the both of us jump.
"AOI! You silly thing, so this is where you've been all along!" Megumi said loudly. I was a little bit glad to see her absently pushing Tamaki-san away as though he was just a piece of furniture though I felt bad for thinking it.
"Ah, Megumi…" I said. "What is it?"
"Don't you remember? We were supposed to meet up today." She said, almost distractedly. I didn't remember if I had made plans with her or not but something in her expression told me that I shouldn't say that.
"Um… sorry?" I said with a hint of uncertainty.
"Aoi-san," Tamaki-san said, moving closer to us, seemingly unfazed by Magumi's arrival. "If you wou-
"So sorry there, Nanase-kun but," Megumi grabbed my arm and lifted me up with relative ease. "Aoi and I, we really need to go now. If you'd excuse us."
And with that, Megumi, with me on tow, sprinted across school grounds. I could hardly make any sort of protest because of my confusion. Tamaki-san looked strangely at the both of us but managed a small wave nonetheless. I couldn't even wave back because Megumi had swiftly changed course and I couldn't see him anymore.
I'd realize later on that, in all the confusion, I accidentally dropped my copy of Little Women.
- K -
"M-megumi! Why are we running like this? What's going on?" I huffed, already out of breath despite the briefness of our jog. Vaguely I felt a sting in my pride at such lack of stamina but I quickly pushed it away since more important matters were at hand.
"This is bad." Megumi said somberly. We had already slowed down a bit but she was still holding on to my arm, as though I was going to drift away the moment she'd let go. "I heard rumors about it but I didn't realize that he was that serious. Damn it."
"What are you talking about?"
Megumi sighed and led me to an empty canopy that connected two school buildings. She let go of me and leaned on a post, watching me with a thoughtful expression. "I'm talking about that guy, that Nanase Tamaki."
I cocked my head to one side, not really sure what to answer. "What about him?"
My best friend let out an exasperated sigh and turned to me with a look that seemed to say 'you-can't-possibly-be-this-oblivious-Aoi'.
"I don't understa-
"He's been trying to ask you on a date, hasn't he?" Megumi said bluntly.
I froze. "W-what?!"
"I knew it. You really had no idea…" She sighed and then mumbled something that I couldn't quite catch.
"No, no, that's not it at all. Tamaki-san wouldn't be interested in me." I said, quickly thinking back on all those times he seemed to seek me out specifically. No, it was impossible. Why would he ask me out? "Maybe he's just naturally like that? He does seem to be the type to befriend everyone… And, and-
"Oh Aoi, trust me, he's a lot more interested in you as a friend. Practically everyone at school knows it. Except you, of course." Megumi walked towards me and drew me to her side. "But I don't like it."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I don't like him." She scowled and practically spat out the last word with venom. "There's something in the way he looks at you that I don't like. I can't quite put it into words."
I hesitated for a bit. I think I knew what Megumi was talking about. There was something that put me off with Tamaki-san. His glaring friendliness and easy affection wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for that other thing. Tamaki-san, I think, just didn't know when to back off or how to understand that he could make me really uncomfortable at times.
"Predatory, I think, is the word I'm looking for." Megumi continued after a thought.
"W-what?!"
"Yeah, that's exactly how he looks at you." She must have seen the obvious terror in my eyes because she quickly corrected herself. "No, not like that! I don't think he means to harm you in that way but… I don't think he'd be good for you either. Aoi, I don't mean to make decisions for your but, please, I really think it would be better if you stayed away from that guy."
I nodded, agreeing with her almost completely. I didn't want to judge Tamaki-san without hearing his side but I had to admit, there was something that I just couldn't really like about him. A thought suddenly sprang in my head.
"Hey, Meg…" I began, not all that sure how to phrase my question. "Um, how come you never… I mean, why was it with… um…" I felt heat rose on my face as I realized that I hadn't said his name out loud for days now and seemed to have a hard time saying it now.
Luckily, Megumi understood me completely and a grin appeared on her face. "You're wondering why I never complained about your Yata-san, aren't you?"
I flushed an even deeper scarlet when she said that. "H-he isn't mine, Meg!"
Megumi only chuckled and put her right hand on her chin, pretending to stroke it with a mock thoughtful air. "Well, let's see… Because he was the first boy in the history of time that you wanted to get to know… because, despite his rugged appearance, you didn't seem the least intimidated by him and actually found his look attractive." Megumi held out her hand to stop me from interrupting. "But mostly because of his affect on you, Aoi."
A tender look appeared on her face and I knew that she was serious. "Have I really changed that much?"
She nodded cheerfully. "For the better, if you don't mind me saying. I mean, just look at you, Aoi, and all the things you've done in the past week alone. You must really love that Wild Crow if you're willing to do this much."
At the very mention of that dreaded L-word, I felt myself blush so deep that I wouldn't be surprised if the roots of my hair also turned scarlet. "M-me-megumi!"
"Okay, okay, I'll stop for now." She said, squeezing me into a hug.
The school bell rang and Megumi and I had to part ways.
"Hey, Aoi, are you going to see him again soon?" She asked.
"I… well, I hope so." I said and I meant it.
A grin appeared on her face that was so infectious that it made me smile too. "Good. I'm rooting for you guys, remember that!"
- K -
It seemed like every muscle in my body was strained to the fullest as I walked out the building where I've been spending most of my free time in the past days feeling, as usual, exhausted and miserable. Not much progress happened today, no surprise there, and it was starting to rain. Fortunately, one of my senpais saw me looking glumly out the pouring rain and lent me her umbrella.
"Bad day, Aoi-chan?" She asked me.
"Ah, a bit, I guess. Thank you for the umbrella, Uta-senpai."
She smiled brightly at me and patted me good-naturedly on the head before going back inside the building. Uta-senpai was one of the few people here that I managed to be comfortable with and I was grateful to have her as a friend. She also knew about my current situation – having squeezed it out of me, literally, some days back – and was very supportive.
School earlier that afternoon didn't get any easier. Megumi's words rang in my ears as I realized that people were looking at me oddly, girls in particular. I noticed that they were glaring daggers at me and realized that they've probably been doing so for a while now but I just hadn't been able to notice them. It puzzled me more than anything that Tamaki-san would go out of his way to ask me out and I still couldn't really believe it.
There must be a simple explanation to his actions, I reasoned with myself as I subtly ducked from Tamaki-san's field of vision whenever possible. There's no way he'd really be interested in me that way.
Classes were a bit of a blur but, thankfully, I had read through most of the lessons during my free periods so I didn't feel too worried that I didn't concentrate as much as I used to before. It seemed like such a trifling thing now but I really couldn't afford to let my grades slip just because I was preoccupied with something more important.
Hesitantly, I held out a hand to feel the cold drops of rain. It seemed to show no signs of stopping any time soon so I opened my umbrella and, with a mournful sigh, I started to walk home.
I really don't like walking in the rain, especially rain as hard as this was. The sky was too dark and gloomy and ominous. I was afraid that it was going to turn into a thunderstorm and then I really would be in trouble. But since I had no other choice, I marched on, walking as fast as I could though it was a bit of a challenge since my thigh muscles were still burning.
The grumble of thunder up above shouldn't have surprised me, after all, the large gray clouds suggested as much, but it did. More than that, it frightened me. Including in my litany of irrational fears is my longtime fear of thunder and lightning. I've tried desperately to get over it – one summer I even dedicated myself to knowing all about thunderstorms but knowing what makes that thundering sound and that hot white flash didn't really do anything but increase my apprehension of them - but I could never seem do it. The thunder I could manage if I really tried but lightning…
I quickly ran to the nearest shelter I could find which turned out to be an awning for a closed hardware store. I willed myself not to shiver in fear and gripped the strap of my bag as tightly as I could. Storms pass, I knew as much, so maybe this one will in a little while. Maybe we weren't directly under the storm so…
Another rumble, a deeper and more threatening one, made me gasp. I wanted to cover my ears and shut my eyes but opted not to. I'd look ridiculous and weak. I had to face this fear of mine.
Breathing deeply, I decided to distract myself by observing my surroundings. I was still too far from home so I couldn't make a run for it even if I tried. The street, however, looked familiar, like I've been here before…
And that's when I saw it. The flashing lights and faint sounds of electronic games… On the other side of the street was none other than the arcade that Yata-san had taken me weeks ago. A pang of nostalgia and loneliness hit me so hard that I actually reeled backward when I remembered going into that arcade (or dragged into by an excited Yata-san) and playing all those strange and flashy, but more or less fun, video games for the first time. Yata-san's eager chatter filled my ear as I fiddled with the console and navigated my way, unsuccessfully, through a series of games that seemed to flash by before I could even fully understand the objective of the game. Yata-san was very sweet back then, comforting me whenever I'd fail to pass even the first level of what he'd consider a "simple" game.
"I am sorry, Yata-san." I said as I hung my head in shame. "I'm afraid I'm not much of a companion to you here. I keep losing."
"Wh-what are you apologizing for, dummy!" He slung an arm around me nonchalantly, his face beet red but with a playful glint in his eyes. "It doesn't matter if you're any good or not, so long as you're having fun! Besides, you're head is probably just wired to play those complicated brainiac games or something. C'mon! Let's go shoot some hoops."
"Y-yata-san…"
Despite being constantly pummeled in every single game we tried, I actually did have fun that day. It was a strange and foreign place to me yet I didn't feel at all uncomfortable with Yata-san. His calloused hand was warm and gentle as he guided me from video game to video game. His patience with me was surprising since he seemed to be an expert with almost every game we tried to play. And he never once got tired or fed up with my lack of coordination and skill nor did he try to pity me. Instead, he'd double his efforts to get me to enjoy myself.
Thinking about it now, I remembered that it was that day in the arcade that made me realize why I liked Yata-san so much and why, despite the short period of our acquaintance, I found myself so comfortable around him. It was because he was so warm and so accepting no matter how different we were. He never patronized me about my weaknesses nor did he seem bothered by them.
Yata-san actually believes that, with time and dedication, I can overcome my weaknesses, my painful shyness, and my ever-growing list of fears. He subtly pushes me to confront things that I normally actively avoid but he never does it in a way that will intimidate me even more. Instead, he holds my hand and guides me through it, keeping me distracted until I realize that the thing that I've been afraid of for so long has already passed. Like that time in the arcade. It was so full of people that day and despite my fear of large crowds I managed quite fine because Yata-san was there. And I'm pretty sure he did that on purpose.
As I was reminiscing about the days I spent with Yata-san, I didn't realize that someone was already heading towards me. An all too familiar lanky figure with a crop of golden hair that was slightly damp from the rain. I wouldn't have noticed him at all if he hadn't placed a hand on my shoulder, effectively bringing me back to the present time.
"I thought it was you, Aoi-san."
I looked up to see his face – he is really tall, that Tamaki-san – and willed my face muscles to smile at him. "Ah, um, hello, Tamaki-san."
Little drops of water were dripping from his hair but he didn't seem too bothered. He just continued to smile good-naturedly at me. "Got caught in the rain too, huh?"
I nodded slowly even though it was the thunder that really stopped me.
"Yeah, I was out running some errands when this storm just dropped down and I just had to stop for a while and take shelter otherwise I'd get soaked." He ran a hand through his damp hair and it stuck out in all directions. "So… what brings you out here in the city so late?"
"Um…" I averted my gaze and fiddled with the strap of my bag. I couldn't tell Tamaki-san what I had been doing since school ended so I had to think of some other excuse, something that isn't completely a lie but isn't the truth either. "Um, errands." I stopped myself from punctuating the word with a question mark since that would have been too suspicious.
"Errands, huh?" Tamaki-san said evenly, clearly not buying it. Fortunately though, he didn't seem all that interested in pursuing the subject. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to be leaving any time soon either.
As usual, he tried to talk me into a conversation but I couldn't quite talk as much as he wanted me to. My replies were either monosyllabic or nonverbal. It wasn't that I wanted to be particularly rude to him, I just didn't feel relaxed enough to open up to him. There was always something a bit odd in his questions. I couldn't point my finger at what it was exactly but it was there, I was sure of it.
After a while, Tamaki-san seemed to run out of steam, finally realizing that I wasn't in a mood to talk. But he was still very persistent, offering to escort me home.
"Y-you don't have to do that, Tamaki-san. I'm fine here. Really." I said, inwardly cringing at the idea of walking home, which was still quite some ways away, with him.
"No, I insist, Aoi-san." He said, casually taking hold of my hand and I had to fight not to flinch at his cold touch. "It would be a blow to my pride as a man if I ignored a damsel in distress."
And that's when I realized why I always felt so unsettled around Tamaki-san. He saw me just as that, a damsel in distress, a small, fragile person that needed saving. That must have been why he was so persistent in getting close to me. Tamaki-san is the type of person who takes pleasure in other people's weaknesses, in playing the hero. It bothered me so much that I was speechless for a few seconds.
Tamaki-san must have taken my silence as a yes because he took my umbrella and opened it, slowly pulling me to him in the process.
"W-wait, Tamaki-san, I-
"It's fine, really, Aoi-san. It'll be my pleasure." He said, a satisfied smile plastered on his face.
But I don't want to go with you. I wanted to say but I couldn't. Instead, I resisted his pull and repeatedly told him that I didn't want to cause him any trouble. And he repeatedly replied that he wanted to escort me home and I knew that he meant it.
I was starting to panic. I felt even worse when another low rumble growled from the sky. Tamaki-san saw the fear in my eyes and doubled his efforts.
"You're afraid of storms, aren't you, Aoi-san? It's okay, I'll protect you, I promise." He stated with an air of what I can only describe as condescension.
I shuddered at his words and feared that I really might end up going home with him. But then, all of a sudden, I felt a familiar warmth in the air, a warmth that I haven't felt in what seemed like months when, really, it's only been a few weeks. And there was also something else, something much more intense. The air was not only filled with warmth, there was a feeling of power in it too.
Tamaki-san must have felt it too because he let go of my arm with a start. I guess because he wasn't used to feeling such a powerful aura, he was pretty shocked.
"This guy bothering you, Ryuuga-san?" A low voice called out to us.
Just a few feet away from us, right outside the shelter of the awning, stood four gruff looking guys, each a different shade of angry. I immediately recognized the one who called out to us. He was the one who kept on wrapping an arm around me teasingly, though now the playful glint in his eyes were gone and replaced with something much sharper. I recognized the others too, the large guy who was Ayumi-chan's childhood friend, a brunette with a cap on his head, and...
"Yata-san..." I whispered, completely aware of how easily the name slipped out of me.
He stood in the middle of the group, his shoulders tight, his expression fiery and dangerous. It could have been my eyes playing tricks on me but I could have sworn that steam radiated from him, the slowly increasing rain literally brushed aside.
My chest tightened at the sight of him after all these weeks of separation. It was as though I could hardly believe that he was really there, that he was just a hallucination. I wanted to reach out to him, to touch him just to make sure that he really was there, to make sure that my eyes weren't mistaken.
Yata-san's hazel eyes weren't trained on me though. He was watching, no, glaring at someone beside me. Tamaki-san. His glare was downright lethal.
I hadn't realized that Tamaki-san was still holding on to me. It was only until one of Yata-san's friend pointed it out that I remembered how Tamaki-san tried to force me to go with him.
"Oi, let her go, you punk."
I felt Tamaki-san hesitantly loosen his hold on me, as though he still wasn't sure what was going on. I could tell that he was threatened at the sight of them like that but Tamaki-san didn't seem to want to show it.
"Do you know these people, Aoi-san?" Tamaki-san whispered, subtly stepping in front of me, as if to shield me from them.
Even though he was so close to me that I could actually feel his breath on my neck, Tamaki-san felt like he was a hundred miles from me. All I could really see was Yata-san. I could even feel his warmth from this far away.
No... something was wrong. It wasn't his usual warmth that I felt but something more, something much hotter. Scorching even. Yata-san looked like a furious predator ready to strike and it finally dawned on me that something dangerous was going to happen unless I do something about it.
Absently, I pushed Tamaki-san away from me. I couldn't have used that much force to hurt him but he drew in a breath nonetheless. Distantly, I heard him try to tell me something but I didn't quite catch it. I had to get Yata-san's attention.
"Y-yata-san..."
Author's Note: Yeah, I obviously had no idea how to end this thing. This time I won't make any promises, especially since I've got about a ton and a half of stuff to work on this holiday season. I will ,however assure you all that I won't give up on this fanfic any time soon. It may be tempting to do so every once in a while but this thing is my baby and I will not abandon it. It's also my longest running fanfic in the history of forever.
