Disclaimer: If I wanted to own Naruto, I would first breed a genetically engineered race of super monsters, who disguise themselves as humans. These Humans would then commit robberies all over the world. Then with the ill gotten gains from those robberies, those monsters would then place like a million bets on different lotteries, ensuring that they would win at least one, possibly several. After those monsters gift me the proceeds, I will buy the majority share in Naruto.
No plan less ridiculous or convoluted than that is worthy of owning Naruto.
:Line Break:
Naruto felt like a ramen noodle being slurped into an eager mouth. His feet tumbled about while pressure on his head seemed to mount and mount until it felt like it was going to explode. The red flash that had started this inside the washing machine experience gave way to a veritable cornucopia of color. Wind roared in his ears and his skin felt like it was on fire one moment and then frozen the next.
After what seemed to be an eternity, the world that Naruto perceived righted itself.
The first thing that Naruto saw was the moon, glowing lustrously in a night sky bereft of clouds. The stars were next, twinkling innocently despite Naruto's violent upheaval.
Looking down at his more immediate area, Naruto next saw the trees, wild and tall, surrounding the clearing that he found himself in.
Sakura, across that field, is what he saw next. Looking about just as he was, and looking upset about her journey as well.
Then Naruto looked down at the field around them.
Throughout the field were impact craters of varying size and make.
One crater ran the entire length of the field, like something had hit the ground whilst flying through the air at a parallel velocity.
Another was short and round, edges glassy, like some intense heat had scorched it.
All in all, it looked like a battlefield.
Looking back up at Sakura, he could see her beautiful green eyes staring back at him. He was about to speak up, to the effect of "What the hell is going on?" But then his eyes started tracking movement in the woods behind the pink haired kunoichi.
Before he could shout out a warning, three figures blurred through the air, landing beside Sakura.
Standing up from their crouched positions, the figures made themselves known.
Beside Sakura stood assembled the members of Team 10.
Chouji Akimichi stood at the forefront, his armor gleaming in the moonlight; to his right stood Shikamaru Nara, his tan clothes messy with food stains, and generally unkempt. On the left wing of the team stood the only female member, Ino Yamanaka, clad in a concealing gray full body jumpsuit.
"Thank kami you're here!" Sakura said, shoulders relaxing slightly.
"Don't worry, Sakura-chan," Chouji said, in a voice surprisingly deep and mature. "We'll take it from here."
Sakura nodded acceptance as Ino and Shika began pulling out kunai. Turning to look at Naruto, Chouji spoke again.
"Traitor to the village, stand down now, and we may yet show you mercy!" He shouted, his voice echoing loudly around the pockmarked field.
Naruto stood, staring blankly back at his friends, unsure if they had said what they said. "What's going on now?"
"Don't make it any harder on yourself," Chouji shouted again, taking an aggressive step forward. "You can see that you are outmatched! Come quietly, or there'll be trouble!"
Naruto squinted his eyes, taking a look around the clearing again, even looking behind them to see who they were talking to. After doing this, he simply pointed a finger at himself, question obvious.
"Of course I am speaking to YOU!" Chouji shouted, maturity being trickled away by mounting rage. "And if you do not stand DOWN, we will be forced to fight!"
"Chouji, what are you talking about? Why do you wanna fight?" Naruto asked, royally confused about what was going on.
"That's it, take him!" Chouji said with authority. Ino shifted her hands into an unusual seal, that Naruto could have sworn he recognized.
"Shintenshin no Jutsu!" Ino cried, a small wave of force pushing forward from her hands.
It took Naruto a moment to remember what it was that that technique did, and by then it was already too late.
Ino's body fell to the ground at the same time as Naruto's.
"What the HELL are you guys doing?" Sakura shouted at the two still conscious ninja.
Chouji frowned at her outburst. "We are doing what we are supposed to do, both as a team of Konoha, and as your friends. We promised to you that one day we would bring him in, or take him down, and that is exactly what we plan to do."
"Yeah," Shikamaru said loudly. "So either way we're still keeping our promise!"
Ignoring Shikamaru, Sakura focused on the man promising to beat or kill Naruto. "What are you saying? He's our friend!"
Chouji's frown became even harsher as he turned his back on Naruto's fallen body for a moment. "I don't believe this Sakura. You know what he did to all of us. He turned his back on me, on you, on all of us, and on Konoha! He might have been our friend, and maybe he might be again someday, spirits willing, but today he is our opponent, and we will treat him as such!"
"YAAAAAAAA" Ino screamed, sitting up immediately, and vomiting over the bottom of her jumpsuit and her sandals.
"Ino!" Shika cried, rushing to her side. "Ino, what happened?"
Wiping her vomit with the corner of her sleeve, Ino spoke in hushed tones. "I-It was-s dark, and it w-was wet. It felt ju-ust sick, and wr-wrong! A-and then t-there was rain, l-like it w-was acid. I l-looked up…."
"Yes," Chouji said, imploringly. "And then what happened."
Ino's eyes were wide with fright. "I s-saw a b-beast! I s-saw the K-Kyuubi!"
Pointing accusingly at Naruto, who had since regained his feet, and was rubbing his forehead furiously to stem off the approaching headache, Ino shouted. "HE'S GOT THE KYUUBI!"
Naruto paused in his rubbing, looking up at his friends. "Well, yeah. I thought everybody knew that."
Chouji paled considerably as Ino clutched onto Shikamaru's sleeve. Turning to his companions, Chouji whispered hoarsely. "Shika, did you send for the reinforcements?"
Shika gave a single nod. "Before we left, didn't see the point of it then, though."
"Good," the ashen faced Akimichi said. "Then we only have to stall him."
" Stall him? What are you all talking about? It's Naruto! He's on our side!" Sakura said, with virtually no-one listening.
"Naruto?" Chouji muttered to himself, before shaking it off, getting into a squatting combat stance. "Ready, team?"
A pair of grunts met his reply, and team 10 took off for their blond target.
:Line Break:
Footsteps pounded over wooden floorboards, racing through a modest home in the dark of the night.
The footsteps stopped, outside of a silhouetted door, light creeping out through the cracks.
A polite knock rapped on the wooden frame of the door.
"Come in Anko-chan." The voice from beyond the door said.
The door slid open, illuminating a beautiful young kunoichi, wearing a rather practical dress, dark green in color, and going down to the womans ankles. Her hair was done professionally into a bun, and held there with a pair of looked like chopsticks. Her sandals clacked over the wooden floor of the well light study that she had scurried into. Stopping before a large desk, Anko Mitarashi bowed quickly.
"To what do I owe the pleasure of your company at this hour?" The voice spoke, partly amused, and partly concerned at the sudden appearance of one of the villages most respected kunoichi.
"Hokage-sama, we have initial reports of an S-ranked criminal in Konoha." Anko said, before adding quietly, "It's the Uzumaki, sir."
The soft sounds of the brush on paper stopped. The robed figure seated at the elaborate desk looked up to make sure they had heard correctly. "Uzumaki?"
"Yes, sir." Anko said with a nod. "Sakura Haruno is already on the scene, and your apprentice has already left with a detachment of ANBU, in response to a distress call."
"The ANBU won't be enough to stop him." The regal figure growled, standing up and casting off the robe to reveal a black combat suit underneath. Reaching into the drawers of the desk, the Hokage pulled out pouches of kunai, shuriken and scrolls. Leaping to the door, the Hokage pulled down the long, thin blade that there resided. Putting the ninjato in a sheath on his back, the Hokage turned to his subordinate.
"Get everyone you can, and get them there, Now!" He said, yellow eyes reflecting the flames that illuminated the room
:Line Break:
It had been the better part of two weeks since Naruto tried to practice Dodge'em, a game from his childhood days with the dead lasts. The gist of the game was that Shikamaru would sit down, as he was want to do, and the rest of the dead lasts would try to dodge his shadow. It was good practice for Shika's endurance, chakra capacity, and his familiarity with his shadow techniques. And it was good training for the rest of the Dead Lasts, as it provided them a fun and competitive way to test out their speed, flexibility, and dodging ability.
As the years wore on, practicing against Shika became harder and harder. Sometimes his shadow would leap into three dimensions to knock you off your feet. Sometimes his shadow would splinter and it would be almost impossible to dodge.
That being said, amongst the Dead Lasts, Naruto still held the record for the ability to dodge for the longest. A testament to his nigh unnatural endurance.
What he was doing now though, seemed to be playing that same game, with his 18 year old self, and playing against a 10 year old Shika.
His moves were sloppy and predictable. He didn't take advantage of any openings that Naruto gave him. And worst of all is that he never varied from his original shadow possession technique.
Naruto dodged another elongated shadow with ease, the bright moonlight only easing his battle against his friend.
Ino fared no better in her attempts to ensnare Naruto. Her rigidity in using the same ninjutsu technique made Naruto's time dodging her incredibly easy, like dodging a kunai thrown by an academy student.
Yes, Ino and Shika were either getting extremely sloppy in their training, or Naruto would eat his own sandal.
Chouji, though, was another story.
A flaming fist fell to the earth with the same force of a meteor. The ground cracked and turned to glass under it's impact, and many shadow clones were either thrown back and away from the doom fist, or popped entirely.
Silvery blue wings extended from chouji's back as he worked to keep Naruto on the defensive. Giant fists and legs blurred into the ground, often surrounded by either red or blue flames, and occasionally armored in large plates of condensed earth, to prevent the clones climbing his arms and damaging his best weapons.
Naruto sweat in the intense heat generated by the fiery fists of Chouji, and the exertion of pulling out more and more shadow clones to distract his confused allies.
Sakura stood at the edge of the clearing, screaming at the members of team 10 to stop their fighting.
In the meanwhile, however, someone had started throwing kunai.
Naruto felt one slice through part of his beloved orange jumpsuit and cut lightly into the skin of his back.
His eyes went wide as he realized that his friends weren't just aiming to knock him unconscious, or even to maim. They were aiming to kill.
'This is getting serious,' Naruto thought to himself, looking at the glint in his friends eyes that with his previous revelation seemed positively murderous. 'I better get serious, too.'
And with that thought, all of the clones that were previously being used as a distraction turned on their attackers.
Shika and Ino were almost immediately mobbed and beaten unconscious. Chouji put up a wall ef earth, which then detonated outward, the hardened earth used as shrapnel, dispelling clones en masse.
Seeing his companions go down, Chouji turned to the crowd of Naruto's with an inhuman roar.
His arms magnified in size many times over, Chouji slowly began to walk towards the crowd of clones. He began swinging his arms back and forth, like a ridiculously proportioned ape. Each swing of his arms dispelled clones by the dozen, flinging them about like ragdolls. Chouji saw Naruto sit down amidst the crowd of his clones, and he began to spin like a top, his oversized arm stretching out like fleshy battering rams. Clones were flung helter skelter and soon only Naruto and Chouji were still in the fight.
Chouji grabbed the unmoving Naruto in one of his giant hands, holding him in place, as his other arm raised into the air, intent on delivering the final blow of this fight now.
The mob of clones though had already served their purpose, and Naruto's eyes opened in yellow bar slits.
Pushing up on Chouji's oversized hand, Naruto slipped underneath his hand, the second fist coming down were his head had scant mili-seconds before vacated.
Quickly crunching up to a crouched state, Naruto grabbed the rapidly deflating arm of the Akimichi air, using chakra to enhance his grip, and he delivered a single solid blow to Chouji's jaw.
The Akimichi was sent tumbling, the butterfly wings that marked one of his families most prized jutsu dissipating in the night air as he rolled to a stop, unconscious in one of the craters lining the field.
"Naruto!" Sakura shouted, stomping over to him. "What the hell did you do that for? You should have talked to them you Moron!"
"We tried talking, Sakura-chan." Naruto said, almost too exhausted to contradict her at this point. "But they kept saying nonsense. They just wanted to fight."
"I think someone placed them under a genjutsu." Sakura said after a moment, agreeing with Naruto's statement, but not admitting such out loud. "Maybe it was that masked guy, Tobi?"
Naruto's eyebrows scrunched together, as he made an exaggerated effort to think. "Where is he anyway? All I can remember is him tossing that red ball, and then saying something, and I was here."
"Idiot." Sakura muttered, more out of habit than spite. "He said 'Limited Tsukuyomi'."
Taking a moment to think, Sakura remembered where she had heard it before. "That's it!" She said with a snap of her fingers. "Tsukuyomi is described as the ultimate genjutsu, only usable to Uchiha that have the Mangekyo Sharingan, it is supposed to be inescapable, and generally used for torture or interrogation."
Naruto flopped his head to the side, for all the world looking like a curious puppy. "I didn't know that. Where did you hear about it?"
Sakura put her hands on her hips and smiled smugly at Naruto. "It was in the briefing that we had before we went to hunt SASUKE, remember?"
"If there's one thing I hate," said a new voice, filled with tightly controlled rage as another person walked into the clearing. He stood at a lean 5'9, slick black hair kept neatly in a short haircut, dark hair framing his face via a set of bangs. He was clothed in a short, dark blue jacket, long black pants, a plain white t-shirt, and matching black gloves and shoes. He was handsome, well kept, and stylish.
By far though, the most distinctive thing about his figure, other than it's familiarity to the assembled, was the red Sharingan eyes blazing behind a set of fashionable reading glasses.
"It's people talking about me when I'm not there" said the Infamous Sasuke Uchiha.
:Line Break:
Tobi stared incredulously at the new arrivals, his confusion at their appearance shrouded by his orange mask.
Within the first four seconds of arrival, the blue-grey clad blonde had looked around, took alarmed note of the woman next to him, formed a fast seal with his hands and immediately disappeared.
Meanwhile, the pink haired woman yelled at Tobi.
"HEY YOU!" She yelled, throwing her head forward and stalking towards the orange masked man.
"WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA? I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT WITH THAT NO-GOOD, ROTTEN, DIRTY, DROOLING, HIGH-AND-MIGHTY, SELFISH, CRUEL, SPOON-SHOVED-SO-FAR-UP-HIS-ASS-THAT-HE-CAN-EAT-WIT H-IT, SADISTIC, EMO BASTARD, AND YOU KIDNAP ME?" The woman continued to shout, throwing her arms about in her rage causing Tobi's eye to drift a little below her neck, where interesting things were happening with her anatomy. "THAT'S IT ISN'T IT? YOU JUST WANT TO DO PERVERTED THINGS WITH ME? YOU SAW MY HAIR AND NOW YOU JUST WANT TO GET ALL UP INSIDE ME? WELL COME ON THEN! WE'LL HAVE A GAME OF IT, ASSHOLE! WHOEVER SHOVES SOMETHING INSIDE THE OTHER FIRST WINS! AND I AM GONNA STICK MY FIST SO FAR UP YOUR DICK HOLE THAT I'M GONNA BE TICKLING YOUR PROSTATE WHILE I USE YOU FOR MY BITCH PUPPET!"
Blue light sprang from the ground in a circle around the red clad woman, etching into the eath and stone a series of kanji, with four long arrows all pointing to the faux Sakura in the middle of the circle, and four offset arrows pointing out of the circle.
The effect of the large seal array on the ground was seen immediately, as the earth caved in on the inside of the circle, and the pink haired ninja was laid low, completely prostate on the bottom of the seal, which now resembled more of a well.
Picking that moment to fade into view the blue-grey robed man twisted his neck to the side, the loud crack emanating over the now silent park.
"Thanks for the distraction," The man spoke in a low, raspy voice. "You have no idea how long she would have kept going."
"I think she was running out of words by the end." Tobi said matter-of-factly.
The man with the kitsune mask sighed, and shook his head. "It REALLY wouldn't have stopped her. Trust me on this."
Tobi nodded acceptance and ventured to change the topic. "So, who are you?"
"No-one of consequence." The other man quipped, walking around the outside of the hole in the ground, looking at the rim.
The orange masked man rubbed the back of his neck in an embarrassed gesture. "See, I kinda have to know for this thing I'm doing…"
"Get used to disappointment." The robed man said, brushing his cape aside as he bent down to inspect part of the seal.
"Then by your choice shall your doom be!" Tobi growled, attracting the attentions of the other man with a small burst of Killing Intent. Behind his mask his Sharingan moved and changed, resembling now a spinning shuriken mid-flight.
"Tsukuyomi!" He cried out, calling upon one of his Mangekyou Sharingan's most devastating abilities. The chakra in his eye crested and waned and the jutsu had been cast.
For a moment between the two masked men nothing happened. The playground was cold and silent. Then the cape clad man spoke up.
"Not the sharpest kunai of the bunch, are you?"
"W-What?" Tobi sputtered, taking a step back.
"Get that eye implanted, or do you call the 'Uchiha Elite' family?" The caped man asked, rising to his feet again.
Tobi narrowed his working eye. "I call them my family no more."
"Allow me to let you in on a little secret then." The caped man said dramatically, throwing his hands to the side. "The whole, 'ultimate illusion' thing? Only works if you have eye contact, with nothing in the way. It's one of the chief reasons I wear this." He finished, knocking on his mask.
"You know an awful lot about the Sharingan." Tobi accused, his eye narrowing again.
His accused shrugged in a nonchalant manner. "I adapt to survive. Knowledge of the Sharingan was rather imperative at some points."
The mysterious man's eyes continued to roam, everywhere but upon the other man.
"Would I be correct in assuming that since that," The Uchiha queried, pointing towards the pit, "was some foreign version of Sakura, then you are some foreign version of Naruto?"
"I don't know any Naruto's," the man said back after a slight pause. "But the failure in the pit IS named Sakura Haruno. And by your own admission of her being a 'foreign' I would have to assume that this is some form of alternate reality?"
"How did you come to that conclusion?" Tobi asked, eager to gain a glimpse into the thought process of the other masked man sharing the children's park.
"Relatively simply." The man said in response, waitinig a beat before clarifying. "That is the same Hokage Monument that I recognize from back home, but the faces upon it are different. That and the entire structure of the village has changed in seemingly instantly. Your comment of 'alternate's was the nail in the proverbial coffin. The only other conclusion I could draw would be a genjutsu, but the only person I know that's good enough for a genjutsu of this complexity would be Itachi, but even then he wouldn't get obvious things wrong, like the village set up, and he'd have to use the Mangekyou to do it, which would kinda throw off all the colors."
Half shrugging, the man continued after a short lull. "Plus, he doesn't do the whole 'deep mind-fuck' thing. He kinda just does a power wash of pain and your worst fear over and over again until it gets rather bleak and repetitive."
'He has claimed advanced knowledge of the Sharingan and its limitations, and has showed a working understanding of both. His seal work is impeccable, and he has unusual techniques. I know little about his physical capabilities, or his mental capabilities, save for that the latter are obviously above average.' Tobi thought, his lone eye scrutinizing the other man, who at that point held his left arm crossing his chest, and his right arm propping up his chin in an assumed thinking position. 'I need to establish whether or not he will be a threat.'
Inclining his head, Tobi deigned to query his 'guest' aloud. "What are your plans for Konoha?"
The hand under the kitsune mask rose slightly, a single finger stroking where the figures chin would have been. "Well, that depends upon a few things."
Tobi stood in silence while he waited for the man to elaborate.
At great length, he finally spoke up.
"First, what was the fate of Danzo Shimura?"
Tobi smirked. "He killed himself in an attempt to bring down his enemies."
The mask nodded before asking another question. "What happened to the Senju?"
"They are all but extinct." Tobi answered again, with some venom. "Giving their lives in defense of their beloved village."
The man in the mask cocked his head to the side at that answer, before asking a yet another question. "What is the fate of the Uchiha?"
Tobi had a full smile hidden behind his mask. 'A sympathetic ear for the Uchiha? I'll have this upstart working for me in no time!' "The Uchiha were betrayed by one of their own number, and by the man that they had sworn their lives to, and he had sworn love and devotion to all of his subjects, the Uchiha included. They were murdered, slaughtered, by none other than the third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi!"
The kitsune masked man took a step back, seemingly reeling with shock. "The third killed the Uchiha?"
"Yes!" Tobi hissed, his eye narrowed as he struggled to hold maniacal glee from his tone.
"The third was Sarutobi?"
The glee left his tone a bit. "Yes."
The kitsune masked man was silent for a long moment, before a dry rasping started coming from the hollow of his throat. Then his shoulder started to shake as the rasping became louder.
"Heheheheehee." Then the blue and grey figure threw his head back and let out a full bodied laugh. "HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! AAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAA!"
Calming down, the kitsune mask stared into the single eyeslot of tobi's own mask and he said words that Tobi was certainly NOT expecting.
"Ohhh, I think I'm going to enjoy this place!"
:Line Break:
AN
So that's that.
I don't know why I continue to update this. I think it's because my nerd rage over Road to ninja has been pent up for so long that it needed to metaphorically explode in Word Format.
Anyway, so here it is.
Next chapter, Hijinks ensue.
Pairings are still kind of up in the air, if there are any at all.
For questions about the fic or where it is going, or if you want it to get it's own story, please message me, or drop me a Review.
I assure you, I read them. And when you say something interesting, or ask a question, I respond.
