The Last Will of a Mutant Turtle
A TMNT fanfiction
by Crystalbluefox
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Chapter 5
That Certain Feeling
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"Okay, now I, your wonderful and beautiful, high intelligent beloved cameraman Michelangelo," Mike told as he filmed the dojo, showing the camera's some-when-to-be-audience how the room was decorated, for then to stop and film his two brothers, who were training hand to hand "will let you in on our secret super cool ninjitsu training. Starring my two brothers; Hamato Leonardo-san and Hamato Donatello-san."
"Would you quit pronouncing us in that tone already?" Donatello said, barely missing a low-kick while lashing out a fist against Leo's face at the same time as he glanced towards Mike and the camera in his hands "It's rather distur –WHA!" Leo used that memento of unawareness, and grabbed the arm, whose fist had meant to smash him in the face, hauled the taller turtle above his shoulder and tossed him away. Donatello tumbled to a halt as his carapace hit the far end of a wall. Leo stood up straight, turned his bandana that had been blindfolding him and smiled triumphantly at his brother's sprawled form, while Mike cracked up, laughing so hard his stomach started to hurt.
"I can't believe that he actually caught you while being blindfolded! Haha! Oh, I so got that on camera! Smile to the camera-!" Mike went over after having control of his laugh attack, and zoomed fully into Donatello's reddening face.
Leonardo quirked an eye rigid. For a moment, just for a split-second he was sure that he caught another look in his brother's eyes, something he couldn't put a finger on what was, but that soon was gone again as the turtle stood up and reached out for his other brother with the camera. "Oooh I'm gonna get you for this, Mikey!" Michelangelo yelped and scurried off with a targeting Donatello hot on his heels, Bo tightly held in his hands.
What was it just now with that look? Realisation? Fear? But for what? Leonardo shook his head and brushed it off, of not being something important.
"It's good to have you back, bro." he said quietly for the umpteenth time, stretching his back and heard the sounds of joints popping. The age was slowly getting in on him, maybe it also did on Don, but he wasn't sure, just that Mike seemed to be the only one who still acted as one in the age of eighteen. Leo chuckled. "That is at least a hundred years ago." He told himself, while he listened to the agony screams of their youngest brother. Seemed like Donnie finally had caught up with him and given him his proper revenge.
-TMNT-TMNT-
"Okay, sit still, just a little bit more and –" Donatello screw the last screw into the mechanical arm before patting it lightly "Done!"
"Whoa! This one's so much cooler than they other ones! Cool! Can it shoot a beam? Can it do something cool? Can these buttons activate something secret?" Don chuckled as he stored the things away.
"I would never dare to trust you with such a dangerous thing," Mike literally pouted, honestly, he was still such a kid, even for one with an age of 120 – god, had it been that long already? "Its dangerous enough as it is. Not only does it look more like your normal arm, but it got a strength that can break titan if you really want to."
Mike smiled goofily as he examined the arm "Cool-!" Don stood up, groaning a little and patted his brother's carapace as he passed by.
"You still amaze me how carefree, childish and happy you can be. It's like you've never changed."
Mike hesitated for a moment, clutching the mechanical arm in his hand, eyes going dull for a moment before he forced a smile up, letting the joy shine in his eyes again. "Nah, I've changed, I just don't want you guys to forget to smile either." Don's eye rigid moved up, his hand never left the carapace; he had felt the slight tremor and the hesitant moment. He had learned enough from himself never to brush things like that off.
Something was off with his little brother.
"Mikey… tell me." he said slowly, carefully as if afraid for anyone else but the two of them hearing him. Michelangelo turned just the slightest around, enough to see the still form of his brother.
"Huh? What ya mean, Donnie?" he asked cheerfully, ignoring the three-fingered hand clutching the edge of his carapace in a tighter grip. Donatello didn't look back as he took a deep breath.
"Tell me why you force your smile to us… when you want to cry instead." That send a jolt through his body, Mike chuckled nervously.
"What ya talking about, I'm not-"
"Don't play foolish with me, Mikey. If anyone I should know the best when someone's wearing a mask…" he trailed off, letting it sink in. He knew that Mike knew what he was talking about. The body underneath his hand shivered lightly as a slow trembling breath of air escaped. "You know that you can trust us…right?" A sea green hand touched Donatello's olive green, clutching it – he knew it, he knew something was wrong with his baby brother, he knew that he was hiding something behind that eternity smile and laugh. "What-?"
"Call Leo in," Donatello almost jumped at the sudden matured sad voice speaking to him "It's best I'll tell the both of you at the same time."
Leonardo was meditating when Donatello came in to get him, he shrugged as to why he should come when Leo asked. As they both sat at the sofa, Mike stood up, fidgeting for how to explain himself and gave the two of them a sheepish smile to begin with.
"Ehm, guys, there… there's something that I should tell you…actually I should have told you a long time ago. I mean I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how you would react, how you would take it." Mike kicked his foot at the ground. For each word he spoke, the more confused and suspected his two brothers became. "I mean; would you still accept me? Or would you never want anything to do with me? Would you make me to commit seppuku? Would you force me away from them-"
"Wai-wai-wait, Mikey." Leo interrupted, hand in the air "Why would we ever make you commit seppuku?"
"And who's 'them'?" Don asked more confused than ever.
"Uhm… I don't really know how to tell you guys this,"
"Try with the beginning, and," Leo leaned his head to the side to get eye contact with his little brother "try to trust us, okay?" Mike bit the inside of his lip, but nodded. He took a deep breath of air and stood straight, his voice suddenly sounding more mature than it ever had before.
" 'kay. Uhm… Donnie? You remember that blond girl we saved twenty-six years ago?"
"Uhm, Mikey, it's twenty-six years ago, I can't-"
"I mean that lill kid that we brought with us back home to treat, after she had been attacked back in that alley? Who was totally smashed up?" Donatello gave him a scrutinized look and a hesitant answer.
"Yeah…?"
"Wait, I don't remember something like this," Leo pointed out, Mike shrugged.
"You were busy shrieking the head off me whenever you saw me, for ruining the wall so much after a training session that the lair almost fell down above our heads. So I thought it would be a good idea not to mention anything to you right then and there. I begged Don not to say anything either."
"Oh, that time." Leo said bitterly and leaned back into the sofa. Donatello nodded, Mike chuckled nervously.
"Yeah, that time. Anyway. Uhm," Mike could feel his nervousness taking over again, his childish side turning back up. No matter of what, he couldn't help this side of him; it made him to who he was anyway "after she got well enough to get up to her old folks, I-uh, I kinda looked after her for some time, especially when she grew older and like acknowledged me and wanted to talk with me without freaking totally out. Aaand we kinda came on good terms with each other…"
"Because…?" Leo tried slowly "Where is this going, Mikey?"
"Well… because… we-, kinda fell in love."
"What?!" Donatello almost shrieked. "She was only ten back then!"
"What? Michelangelo?" Leo said warningly.
"That's disgusting!"
"Nonononononono! Not like that! I mean, not then I mean only when she got older and such!" Michelangelo hastily said, waving his hands frantically in front of himself, almost panicking at his brothers growing anger. "When she was a kid, we became friends! When she turned nineteen or twenty, it like… went a bit deeper." The two of them sat motionless, trying to process, what he was saying "Aaand," he threw his arms out to each side, trying to give them a true Mikey-smile "you're becoming uncles… again."
That did it. Had it been in any other circumstance he would have laughed at their gaping looks, still trying to comprehend the words while trying to believe, that what he said, was the same as what they thought they heard him saying."
"Uncles?" Donatello tried carefully. "Again?"
"Yeah, uhm… you know the stories about the bee and the flower? Well uhm, you once said that you weren't even sure about that a mutant turtle and a human could, you know. I told her that. She didn't care, but did think that it was possible. She almost miscarriage it as to the point it almost killed her, but she wanted to go through with it. So-uh, when the time came, she got a tiny turtle-kid." Mike smiled as he told them despite his nervousness. He never could stop smiling whenever he thought of his little abnormal family, despite the situation he was standing in. "The birth went good, but I told her about the consequences about how the child might get to look like and how the child might never be able to walk in school like any normal kids… I never thought that someone ever could love a child as much as she did, and does. And now… we're going to have a second." He was smiling, despite that that he felt himself shiver all over, despite that he wanted to weep for the unknown fearful answers. None of them had spoken all the while he had been talking. None of them spoke now.
As Leonardo stood, he was more than surprised to find his older brother hugging him, instead of slapping him over the head, surprised to see him smiling, instead of seeing him angry.
"I'm so happy on your behalf." Leo said, surprising his little brother even more. Mike dared to look at his other brother. As Donatello realised that he was looking expectantly down at him, he offered him a smile there almost brought joyful tears to Mike's eyes. Leo pulled away after patting his carapace a couple of times and looked directly into his eyes. Mike could almost feel those blue eyes search his mind for something, anything else. When they found nothing else hidden, when they saw his truthfulness, Leo's smile grew. "What is her name?" he asked honestly.
Mike smiled a little. "Anna."
"And your son? How old is he?" the smile grew, hopefully.
"His name's Lucas. He's almost ten. A little smart-ass."
"Ten." Leo pondered. "So… When may we meet your little family?"
"You really, you really not mad at me and… that?"
"Why would we be mad?" Leo asked "Maybe a little sad that we might have acted a way, that made you not dare to trust us and tell us about it, but not mad."
"Not even about that there's a hundred years between us? That I've been with a human? That I've got a child with a human and are getting a second one as well?"
"Well, there's likely close to zero female terrapin around here," Don told, standing up "Why should falling for a human be wrong?"
"And if this Anna is okay with this large jump between your ages, why shouldn't we?"
"Well, she does say that she can't believe that I'm that old and that I'm more like a kid than anything else." he offered. Leo tossed his head back and laughed heartedly, clapping his brother's shoulder.
"See? You never grow up."
Mike was about to protest, but showed it aside and gave him a bright smile. "Nope! Never!"
-TMNT-TMNT-
Donatello was amazed at what he saw when a blonde woman entered their lair, holding the hand of a tiny turtle child in her hand. He looked just like they did when they were kids, except for having three toes instead of two and had a navel, a belly bottom. Lucas was a healthy looking kid, his eyes wide and amazed as he saw his two uncles, his smile widening to a true Mikey-smile, as he saw that he was being accepted.
So it was possible.
It was actually possible for them to mate and breed.
A twinge in his heart almost made him double over, he reached for his desk while clutching his plastron. It wasn't like any normal heart attack, Donatello somehow could tell, it was something different, a realisation, something that he had felt before and it brought images, thoughts, horrible thoughts to his mind. He hadn't realised that he was crying, not before he felt a cold tear slowly running down his face. Touching his wet face he looked at the tearstained hand, as was he trying to comprehend the thought that he actually had been crying at something he didn't even know of, but at something he had a bad feeling about.
Not about them.
Not about his brother's, nor this child, the unborn child or the human.
But about himself.
And Donatello somehow knew, he knew what was wrong, and it scared him, saddened him.
All these thoughts filled his mind, poisoned his feelings as he watched his family, his new increased family, from the inside of his lab, as they laughed, enjoyed their time together in the living room… all unaware of the horror going through in the mind of one turtle, who stood all alone in his own lab, in his own world.
He had that certain feeling.
As Leonardo looked his way, smile on his face slowly faltering as he read his little brother's eyes, Donatello knew, that Leo now knew that something was wrong with him. And it hurt him.
They arranged that Anna and Lucas could move down to them in the lair. At the topside, Anna prepared to let out the word that she was moving to another place in town, where, she never told anyone. But she thought as well that it would be easier for a turtle child to grow up among species like themselves, so that they did not only just had their father, who came at visit every evening.
Mike was up helping his family to pack their stuff in their apartment, while Leo had invited Donatello to a little cup of tea in Splinter's old tearoom. Sitting on the old tattami mats, Leo poured up into two very frail looking china… just the way sensei used to do, when he needed to talk with one of his kids all alone.
The two of them sat in silence for a long time, drinking their respective cup of tea while each slumbered into deeper thoughts - and as in Donatello's case; old warm memories about a time when they were a one happy whole family. Leonardo was waiting, Donatello knew, waiting for him to open up and tell him what was bothering him. They spoke a little about other stuff, normal stuff, daily stuff, until Donatello felt confident enough to tell him what was bothering him.
"Have you ever had that certain feeling about, that something is going to happen?" it was so abruptly as he said it, that his older brother halted for a second longer, teacup hovering near his lips, before he lowered the cup and looked up into his younger brother's brown eyes.
"I've had experienced it before, yes." he admitted slowly.
"And have those feelings always been correct, brother?"
Leo lowered the teacup fully now, placing it in front of himself on the tatami mats, now he was getting a bad feeling about this whole conversation.
"What is it that you're trying to tell me, Donnie?" he asked carefully, almost as was he afraid to trigger something off. Donatello bit the inside of his mouth as he thought, braved himself to tell him, to spill it out. He looked down into his cup of tea, as if the tea itself would give him the correct words to say.
"Lately, I've had this certain feeling that something… is going to happen."
"What kind of something?" Donatello hesitated, fumbled with his teacup. "Donnie?"
He looked up, his expression serious.
"Lately, I've had this certain feeling about, that I… will never live to reach the age of a hundred and thirty. It's not like I'm sick or anything… not what I know of… I just have that certain feeling. Isn't it stupid?" he tried to laugh it off, but Leo's expression was becoming more grave.
"Yes. That's what I would have said, had it been in our earlier days." Leonardo started carefully "But, it's not the first time that I'm having a conversation like this. Raph told me just the same thing. I just brushed it off for him being a bit too paranoid lately, since we had a lot of fights with the New Foot and The Rising Fist. But Raph was serious, deadly serious. He got angry for me not believing in him or rather; for me not dare to believe in him. I just didn't want to believe that it was true. He told me that I was warned… one month later he fell in the Ulitimate Fight." Leonardo looked into Donatello's eyes, making sure that he was listening "So Don, are you sure that it is that certain feeling or...?"
"I don't know, Leo." Donatello told honestly "I've never had a feeling like this before, so I honestly don't know… but it has been haunting me for all these months… so I guess so."
Leonardo clearly didn't like what his younger brother was telling him… the news where already taking their pull at him, somehow the strong leader of their clan, of their family, looked much older than Donatello ever could have imagined. They were all getting older, he could feel it in his bones and no doubt Leo could feel the same. With Mike it was hard to tell, he had always acted younger, seemed younger than the rest of them. Their baby brother had his own family now; he had let their existence not get razed out.
That certain feeling started to pull in his heartstrings again. He was scared. He was scared of the unknown. He was scared to know that it was just not him, but also Raph had have this certain feeling before. Raph had known that he hadn't got much time left and Leo knew. What a burden to bear, and now he came with the same bad news.
"Donnie?" Leo asked carefully, apparently he hadn't heard him talk the first many times, since the older turtle looked worried at him. Donatello gave him a halfhearted smile… it was the best smile he could provide in the moment.
"M'sorry Leo, you were saying?"
Leonardo laid a hand on his brother's shoulder and looked deep into his eyes, before he gave him his own worst best smile. "I just said; then we just have to make as much out of the time that we have together… right bro?"
His lips quivered, moisture was collecting in the corners of his eyes, and he dried them away with the palm of his hand before the drops could fall. He didn't know if he should feel happy or sad, but still kept trying to smile, he knew it looked false, that it looked fragile and unsure, but Leo, his strong reliable big brother took it for good and deleted his own true feelings just to make his younger brother happier.
Hamato Leonardo did not show any sadness from then on, no insecurity or waver of a bad feeling, not when his brothers or the kids where in the near. But Donatello saw him, he saw his older brother in the depths of the nights, when the turtle thought that he was all alone. He saw him smoulder, he saw him break, he heard him cry ever so silently, as silently as he possible could.
Leonardo knew that their family were falling apart, being taken by death one by one. He had known that it would be possible ever since they were kids, but when the time really came, as the threat really was knocking at their door, Leonardo was scared, scared like a child loosing his beloved ones, for witnessing Death to take the one after the other, to see how Death would end their life. Hamato Leonardo was horrified to be left alone, as the last of the mutant ninja turtles whom had so many times stood against so many wars, so many fights and won so bravely.
But this fight, against Death, was a fight that no one could win.
Donatello regretted ever coming to his big brother to tell out, to spill his inner worries.
He should have never told him about that certain feeling of his.
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To be continued
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AU: Reviews are very much apreciatet ^c^ Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed.
