A new start
"Wha'? Absolutely not! You crazy? Can't you get Chloe to get it for you?" Bella was rubbing the sleep from her eyes. What IS the time? It was 8 am. She was shattered. She came back from the lab at 2am - she was doing a long experiment that finished around midnight. Man, it's freezing! In freaking May! What the hell? Why didn't Mark or Anna switch on the heating system? Bella shivered and pulled on her unflattering bathrobe and pulled up the massive wool socks. Tom wasn't giving up.
"I don't care, Fowler! I know you finally got a shot with the exotic Zoya, but I am tired, it's my day off AND let's not forget that I physically CANNOT be around BLOOD! I start fainting just thinking about it. In fact I am already getting queasy". Bella stated dramatically, and to be perfectly honest she was feeling a bit nauseous but kept it together. She walked up to the heating cupboard and tried to get the ancient heating system going.
"Oh Izzy, pretty please? I'll owe you for a year! Com' on! You're my last resort!" he continued to plead. "If the blood is not picked up from the blood bank this morning, I won't be able to do the experiment tomorrow and most likely will not finish my PhD. Do you want that responsibility?" He went for drama. Bella chuckled. He continued unabated.
"Be a mate Izzy! How often do nerds like me get a chance with a goddess like Zoya? One geek to another - please, please, pluuuuueeease!" He finally stopped. Bella was now completely awake and finally managed to get the heating in her ancient "flat" switched on.
"OK, OK, I'LL DO IT! But seriously man, if I faint, you will be my lab slave for the rest of eternity!" She threatened.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Tom was delighted." And to show my appreciation I'm taking you out tomorrow night. Food and a gig? I'll see what's on".
Bella agreed and finally got him off the phone. Izzy - even after 6 months of her new alter ego she found it funny to hear anyone call her that. It was different. That was good.
Well, if she had to go to the blood bank, she may as well go to the lab as well. But, not yet. For now, 'Izzy' was VERY tired, but wide awake, with nothing to do, so decided to catch up on emails. Bella went into the kitchen - she was alone, her 'flatmates' already left for the day. She shared her apartment with Anna, the trainee solicitor (she was in law school) and her lovely boyfriend Mark, the cellist. Bella was happy here. At peace. London was peaceful.
She got a bowl of cereal going while her laptop woke up and she sat down. It was the usual. A monosyllabic email from Charlie, an overly long and detailed message from Renee, a lovely message from Angela and then - BAM!
An email from Jake. Bella felt winded. This was only the second message she received since moving to London 6 months ago and she was just as unprepared as for the first one. It was a very messy goodbye and she really needed to put Seattle and Jake behind her to move on. London was the right choice - huge, messy, dirty, interesting and with enough stuff going on to keep her busy for a lifetime.
She hovered with the mouse over the message and then after almost a minute she finally opened it.
"Hey Bells!" seeing the familiar name felt like a stab through the heart. "I know you'll probably delete this, but.... You never responded to my previous email and I thought you may need more time. It has been 6 months since you left....I figured I could try again! Hope London is fun! Things are pretty much the same here. Billy...."
The email went on. It was a little diary of the La Push daily life and even though it hurt to read it, she found the stories strangely comforting.
Anywho.... You probably deleted the email before you got to this part, but just in case you didn't - I am here for you and I will always be your friend, whenever you are ready to talk to me again.
love you Bells
Jake"
She stared at the screen feeling emotional. Their last moments together passed through her mind and she let the memories flood back.
*****
I was standing in front of the door of our apartment. I haven't seen Jake for three weeks and now I was planning to say goodbye. My suitcase was next to me. "I am strong, I can do this". I opened the door and walked in. Jake was sitting on the sofa looking edgy. He looked up at me anxiously. This was not going to be easy.
"Hey Jake" I was going for cheery, not sure it worked...
"Hey Bells...erm, did you have a nice time with Renee?" Aah, yes Renee had been very supportive of my plans, unlike Charlie, who was mostly shell-shocked but still insisted to buy my ticket.
"Yes, yeah....Listen...Jake, I'm leaving. Going to London"
Jacob looked stunned "Wha..?"
"For a year, to try it out. I've already transferred the programme. I'll just need about a month to sort out the visa....so basically you can keep this place, if you can afford it..." I stopped and looked at Jacob. Jacob jumped up in disbelief.
"London? As in London several thousand miles away? Bells, do you have to go so far away? What if Victoria finds you? Just because she temporarily stopped hunting you, doesn't mean she's given up. She's got eternity to do it. How will I ever be able to keep an eye on you? I love you Bells, you're my best friend! My soul ma.." He stopped himself short of completing the last word. WHAT?????? How dare he?
"I'm not your soul mate Jake!!!! That's the problem! AND I don't need babysitting! Victoria!....Victoria?!? And what about the last 4 months in Scotland? She could have gotten me there! It's not like an ocean could keep her away? The pack has hardly seen any covens for 5 years! Why would Victoria come for me now? The Cullens left years ago! Even if she thought Edward loved me then, surely that notion is long gone! It's not like he's been back to visit! So what reason would she have to kill someone who Edward does not care for? How would that hurt him? How would that avenge James?" I finished breathlessly. It felt good, letting the anger surge through. I felt strong and powerful! I actually smiled and looked over at Jacob. He looked back anxiously. That was enough. The anger just disappeared.
"Listen Jake, I just need to start over. On my own. Away from the supernatural love affairs. I think getting my heart broken by a vampire and a werewolf is enough for anyone for a lifetime. I'll be in touch, just give me time. OK?" Jake's sweet, sweet face just stared back at me in disbelief and pain. He actually thought that I would stick around! My resolve was melting... It was time to leave. I just need not to be in the apartment or close to Jake. I got up, turned around and picked up the phone to call a cab. Jake just sat there realising that was it. I was leaving.
"It's not your fault, Jake, you didn't ask to imprint," I could feel the tears in my throat, "But I do need to get out of Seattle. I'm sad, annoyed and angry. At you, at Edward, at my bad luck" Jake kept his eyes down and just nodded.
Another 15 minutes of awkward silence before the cab arrived. I picked the suitcase up and was just about to walk out of the door when Jake said:
"Bella. Will you ever forgive me?"
"One day. I hope you're happy with Logan, Jake," I walked over to him and kissed him gently on the lips. That was the last kiss I would ever share with Jacob Black.
"Love you Bella,"
"Love you more," I turned and left, closing the door silently. I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but the tears that I managed to keep in, betrayed me and slid down my cheeks as I climbed into the cab. The cab driver looked at me and then at Jake standing in the window and shook his head thinking he had seen it all before... He had no idea!
*****
Bella opened her eyes and gasped. Tears were streaming down her face. Those same feelings came back - anger anguish and sadness. Com'on Bella!!!!! She took a deep breath and looked up the clock.
12:47
Oh s***, it was past noon! She had to leave..... She looked outside - the weather was crap. Not raining, but then again not NOT raining. Drizzle! A particular kind of rain in London that just hung in the air...however it actually rained less than in Seattle. And the other upside was the total lack of supernatural creatures in her immediate vicinity. Just regular student life in the Big Smoke. She could get lost easily but equally she could surround herself with friends and party the night away. And killer gigs! I wonder what Tom will come up with....
****
Bella arrived at the blood bank and was actually sweating with anxiety.
"Come on Bella, breathe in and out. Relax, it's just blood. Stop being a freaking wuss!!!!"
She handed over the form at the reception and they asked her to wait. Bella Swan in a blood bank. HA! Hilarious. She looked around and saw a few queasy looking people sitting down holding their left arm. The smell of blood penetrated her nostrils and she started feeling nauseous. She had to sit down immediately and focus on her breathing. 'In, out, in out...'
She was taking deep deliberate breaths and started to feel slightly better. 'Another one, keep going'.
She still kept her head down and took a very deep breath. The sharp metallic smell of blood was gone. She was overcome with the sweetness of air, like blossom in the spring. The sweetness that once made her weak at the knees. The unmistakable sweetness of a vampire. She looked up frantically trying to locate the smell. The same queasy looking people were still holding their arms and sitting in the same seats. The only difference was a figure carrying a box walking out of the door and the scent followed him. Bella ran out after the guy but as soon as she got to the door, he was nowhere to be seen. "Well if he IS a vampire, he is probably half way to Oxford by now......Oh, GOD, a vampire! A. VAMPIRE. IN. CENTRAL. LONDON."
Her heart was racing, her mind was racing, she could barely contain her thoughts. A vampire in London? In a blood donation centre? A wave of panic came over her, but this was rapidly replaced with the longing that she hadn't felt in a long time.
"What the hell is this?" For the first time in years Bella thought of Edward Cullen and how much she used to love him...
"Ms Swan? Your pack is ready." She was shaken out of her reverie by the voice. She grabbed the pack and walked out to the noisy streets of London looking out for the source of the scent even though she knew it would be long gone. By now, he could actually be in Scotland....
