No matter what Hitsugaya did, short of dying, there was no way to silence his zanpaktou. No way. None at all. And while some might think of that as a good thing, this is Hyorinmaru, and his obnoxiousness was on a whole different level from that of regular mortals, and he had recently decided to debate the eternal question of Soul Society; which was more valuable, 4th or 11th? Loudly. And in depth.
'Will you shut UP?'
'This question is of vital importance to Soul Society, Shiro-chan. I'm disappointed in you. You should be more involved in saving you home and livelihood.''For some reason, I doubt this is going to tear apart Soul Society precisely at this moment. We've survived Ichigo, Kariya, and Aizen. Kenpachi's got nothing on them.'
'Although, really, I suppose we don't have to worry too much, since Unohana-taicho can keep him in line.''Hey, why does she get the honorific and the rest of us don't?'
'Because the rest of you aren't so important and scary. She's... that woman is something else. Coincidentally, her hairstyle is something else too. Although I suppose that might explain why Kenpachi likes her.''There are weirder hairstyles in the Gotei 13, Hyorinmaru. Kuchiki-taicho wears hair curlers- er.. kenseikan, and Abarai-fukutaicho's hair is magenta and spiky.'
Wait for it, waitforit, wait- "WHAT?"
Matsumoto looked up from where she sat, sake cup in hand, amusement palatable. "Wha'd he say this time?"
Hitsugaya, visibly shaken, ran a hand through his snowy hair.
'No. Absolutely not.'
'...''You're surely mistaken.'
That struck a bit of a personal chord. 'Do I ever make mistakes?''Well, no, but...'
'Exactly.''But... Zaraki-taicho?'
'Well, at least she's not petrified of him like the rest of those pathetic weaklings are. Minazuki says she thinks he's like a teddy bear. A very hot, badass teddy bear, but a teddy bear none the less.''I think, Hyorinmaru, you've finally broken me.'
'Then things will only be more interesting from now on.''Of course. I mean, it IS us.'
A/N: My sad attempt at writing Kenpachi and Unohana. I do love to write the eleventh, though. I'll be writing more of them. They're just too fun! And Hyorinmaru was fun in this one. I need to write in more of his sarcasm. In my mind, he's got levels of sarcasm anime's never seen before.
