Chapter 7: Meanwhile
A/N: The love has been raining down! All the wonderful alerts, favs, and reviews make me so happy! I'm now on the favorite author list of six people! Can you imagine how long I screamed in joy? I've about lost my voice, I'll tell you that much. Thank you guys!
~To my reviewers~
RawrGoesDaDino: As you may can tell from my long and rambling pm, I loved your long and rambling review. Two peas in a pod! Thank you for taking the time to show your support. It means mucho lots to me. I was a bit worried that my absence would lose everyone who had once tuned in, but you proved me otherwise. And I really hope I didn't keep you waiting this time. I tried my damned hardest, I swear. This is kind of a recap from the pm, but just know I love you lots!
SanDavis687: I put a grin on my face every time I see you review. My ego is swollen in the most contented of ways. Thanks! ;D And though Tsunade doesn't make a reappearance here, I'm sure you're going to love Sakura's reaction next chapter when they meet up again. ~I'm so evil!~
StarKiss666: Indeed! I can't wait to bring in Akatsuki, the artists in particular! This is a rough estimate, but I predict that they'll show up in 2 or 3 more chapters. I really think those two will heat things up! LoL! And I loved your ideas! I wanted to ask just to make sure, but is it okay if I use them? I'd give due credit of course along with lots of love. ;D And you're right, Neji and the others need some screen time as well! We can't have team 7 just hog the show! Thank you very much!
C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: Poor Sakura! Don't you worry though, the boys had it rough too. I present to you a chapter with the purpose of torturing the boys. Thanks for the review!
animeXtenshiXhime829: Why hello there! First, I have to thank you for all the loving! And your lovely review? It made me feel equally lovely! I'm so glad you enjoyed this! It makes me feel bubbly when I make people happy~ And you can expect lots of more Akatsuki, girl power and cute, gender bended Sakura from me. Personally, I think it's a recipe for laughs and I do like causing those. And if you're greedy, than I am the freakin' scrooge, because I live for reviews like yours! Oh, and I tried to pack in more pmsing action in, but time slipped away from me. Worry not, for I expect tons next chapter which shouldn't take too long to whip out! Thank you for understanding my absence and missing me! To kind of quote Naruto, "Home is the place where people miss you." Well then, I must be home huh? I'm so geeky quoting Naruto lines; I probably messed up the quote too! Oh well! Anyways, thank you for that fantastic review!
xoulblade: Karma just seems to be pwning everybody in this fic! Thank you for the review and thanks for faving me as an author. I freaked with happiness, I really did! Thanks! Your wish is my command; I bring you the next update!
Kaze and Kiba: My love for you only grows day by day! And yes, I plan to add in a dash of Akatsuki to mix things up a bit. And please forgive me! I didn't ask you because I was on a time crunch. I borrowed/stole an idea of yours. You had mentioned Naruto blaming Kakashi for henging as him and running up his tab at Ichiraku's in Finders Keepers and I put a snippet in here saying like wise. I'm really so sorry! I'll ask for permission if there is ever a next time and I pointed out credit to you in the bottom. I really meant it as a way to pay tribute to you, because I honestly think the world of you and your stories. And if I offended you, please forgive me, I know not what I do! Anywho, thank you for taking the time to give me support, because it means a whole lot to me! ;D
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I'm just a fan; a very crazy fan.
~Now action!~
Sai wasn't stupid. If anything, he'd like to believe he was located on the opposite side of the spectrum. Admittedly, the ex-root member was prone to committing idiotic acts, but most of that can be chalked up to his unorthodox childhood which resulted in a lack of general knowledge regarding human emotions. Even so, Sai knew well enough to steer clear of Naruto and Sasuke when Sakura was missing from the equation.
So the moment Sakura stepped out of the door, Sai had scuttled into the relatively safe confines of her room leaving Naruto and Sasuke to their pissing contests and death matches. Tucked away in the darkest corner Sakura's room had to offer, the artist browsed through Sakura's red bound diary yet again. Sure Sakura would give him hell for invading her privacy once more, but he was sure there was nothing a little blackmail couldn't solve. Besides, it was her own fault for documenting her very entertaining, secret thoughts and then picking a poor place to hide it all. Underneath a pillow? Really?
Sai gave a little victorious smirk as he congratulated himself on his record time. That little victorious smirk morphed into a full on creepy smile as he began to soak in all the juicy information of her latest entry. Can someone say jackpot?
Unfortunately, the heavens sought to harsh his mellow as the various shouts and crashing noises began to escalate so much so that his reading ability was compromised. Ignoring his profound urge to confront those who dared to poop upon his party, he further retreated into the stuffy storage space that was home to Sakura's collection of conservative clothes. Sai had entered the closet and he wasn't planning on coming out of it anytime soon.
Naruto was dumber than the average moron and easily riled. So upon Sakura's exit, it came with little surprise to those reading that he took great offence to the presence of Sasuke's face. The visage's superior prettiness and overall Sasuke-ness were at the top of his list for reasons it pissed him off. Adding to his nonsensical anger, Naruto had the sneaking suspicion that Sasuke used this advantage to garner the undeserved affections of his one true love other than ramen. So without further thought on the matter, Naruto proceeded to attempt cold blooded murder via fluffy throw pillow.
"What the hell?" Sasuke could only scowl. Prior to Naruto's assault he had been innocuously occupying his favorite spot in Sakura's armchair with every intention of staying far from the pink danger zone known as Sakura's bedroom. That was before things went awry.
"Cut the crap," Sasuke growled as he tried to fight off the rather hard hits of the supposedly soft object. Naruto, for his part, remained unusually silent which sort of scared Sasuke a bit; not that he would ever admit that.
"Dobe," Sasuke choked nervously as he bobbed and weaved, "I'm serious."
Apparently the blonde was too, as the barrage only continued with increasing force and accuracy. Tired of getting his ass whooped by a pink polka-dotted pillow, the ravenette resorted to taking up his own fluffy and floral weapon. Far from the glory that is Kusanagi, Sasuke only continued to get his ass whooped.
"Sakura's going to be so pissed if you mess up my face," Sasuke blurted, unknowingly adding fuel to the fire. Numerous valuables met their untimely demise in the face of Naruto's wrath, "Where in the hell is that perverted and unprofessional teacher when you need him?"
"Somebody call?" the aforementioned perverted and unprofessional teacher intoned with a dryness that rivaled crackers. Not moving from his perch on the windowsill, he watched his former male students flail around with barely veiled amusement. It was not every day Hatake Kakashi bared witness to two hot chicks duking it out via pillow fight. He could only imagine what Jaraiya would pay to see this.
"Sensei," Sasuke whined, resorting to the use of respective titles.
"Perverted and unprofessional," Kakashi only reminded, motioning to himself.
Sincerely regretting his remark and desperate for help, Sasuke tried to redirect his statement, "I was talking about that weirdo Yamato, not you."
"So now I'm the perverted and unprofessional one?"
"A weirdo too," Kakashi gleefully added. Sasuke could only curse his misfortune as he hadn't even seen the wood style user appear. Normally, Yamato would intervene, but Sasuke had a feeling he had just screwed himself over royally.
"A week's salary says Naruto wins," the brunette responded in a cold tone unfitting the scene of a girly pillow fight.
"You're on," Kakashi replied heatedly. His obsessive dedication to all things Icha Icha had really cleaned him out financially. So much so, he had been forced to henge as his ramen loving student to scam a meal from Ichiraku's. He didn't know how much longer he could stomach pigging out on ramen repeatedly though, "Sasuke use your sharingan!"
Doing what his sensei commanded for once, the boy's trusted eyes flared to life and began to analyze his opponent for weaknesses. Smirking evilly, the avenger began to solely target his menstruating rival's newly instated ovaries. As the self-proclaimed next hokage grimaced, Sasuke decided that revenge was best served by throw pillow.
Not to be out done, Yamato began to coach as well, "Naruto make some clones!"
Not long afterwards, the small space of Sakura's living room was filled with busty blonde bimbos intent on pummeling one Uchiha Sasuke.
"Hit him with a chidori," Kakashi shouted, standing in excitement. Sasuke executed the jutsu flawlessly obliterating the doppelgangers.
"Rasengan his ass!" Yamato bellowed, shoving at Kakashi. On command, a whirling blue sphere appeared in the tan palm of Naruto who still had yet to utter a word.
"Counter with chidori," the copy-cat nin instructed though Sasuke beat him to it as the sound of a thousand birds began to crackle.
The two met with an explosion that destroyed Sakura's living room and any remaining dignity they once had. Having escaped the blast for the most part, Kakashi practically roared, "Finish him!"
"Uh," Yamato was pretty much drawing a blank at this point, "Release the kyuubi!"
At such an outlandish and extreme command, all parties leveled him a blank look communicating their shared consensus on his lack of sanity. Flustered, Yamato tried to correct himself, "I meant bust out Sexy no Jutsu on that motherfu-!"
"Nooo!" Sasuke interrupted remembering what had happened the last time his idiot friend had decided to change genders near him. With quick thinking, Sasuke used his ultimate substitution technique; Kakashi.
Unprepared, Kakashi went sailing at Sasuke's target as the boy caved into his traitor nature and threw him. Just like before, light enveloped the surrounding area, blinding even the sharingan. And for once in his life, Hatake Kakashi had perfect timing.
"Kaka-sensei," Naruto had the gall to utter even as Kakashi's mismatched eyes promised murder, "You really look hot."
After destroying what was left of Sakura's living room, beating his traitorous trophy student like there was no such thing as CPS, attempting to kill a certain knucklehead, and practically robbing Yamato of the bet money, Kakashi was exhausted and dead sexy.
Sasuke and Naruto could only thank their lucky stars that Kakashi's transformation had rendered him temporarily without chakra. Their luck held out when nothing else appeared to have changed as the added assault of an angered Yamato would have only hurt more. While it would have been nice to magically be a real boy again, Sasuke was just fine as long as nothing else went downhill.
Surveying the damage done and estimating his chances of Sakura believing him when he blamed Sasuke, Naruto decided the outlook wasn't particularly good. According to his calculations, the odds were stacked against him ever living long enough to pass on his legacy. Mathematically gifted he was not, but even he knew Sakura's wrath was imminent once everything was added up.
"Truce?" Naruto directed at Sasuke having forgotten long ago the reason for their scuffle. He was Naruto; did he really need a reason to beat the crap out of someone?
Still numb with pain, Sasuke accepted despite his tendency to hold grudges, "Let's split. Maybe she'll think Sai did it."
All those present happily agreed to flee the crime scene. But before leaving, the gender swapped males caved into their cravings and raided the kitchen. Not a damn bread crump was left.
As mentioned previously, Sai was not stupid. So when his pissed off pink haired teammate happened upon him, he happily informed her that it wasn't his fault. Judging by her flaring nostrils and dilated eyes, that wasn't what she wanted to hear.
"Sai," her voice trembled in barely restrained rage, "Get out of the closet."
Also previously mentioned, Sai had no intention of coming out of the closet. That being established, he slammed the door in her face and prayed for the best.
Let it be known, Sai wasn't stupid; he was downright suicidal.
/Fin/
Author's Note: Poor Sai. I pity them all really. Anyways, I updated as quick as I could. Though I tried, this is just short of my goal of 2 thousand words. Maybe next time huh? It also didn't have anything going on plot wise, but I just wanted to show you what the boys/girls were up to while Sakura was out and about.
I also published a little ficlet called Therapy With Ibiki. I wrote it about two years ago, but just recently remembered it after I wrote chapter 6. Check it out if you want, because I would be super thankful. ~Shameless advertising~
I would also like to mention that I plan to publish a Naruto x Sakura one shot called Craddle Robber. It's an old idea concept with what I hope to be a fresh twist. You can expect it out in the next two to three days if all is well. ~Even more shameless advertising~
And I need to pay credit to all my wonderful reviewers who gave me so many marvelous ideas. I have so many things cooked up for further on. And I want to credit the idea of Kakashi posing as Naruto and eating on his tab idea to Kaze and Kiba. Her wonderful story Finders Keepers mentions this and I wanted to pay tribute to her and her wonderful stories. If you haven't already, you need to check out her account because her stories are must-read classics for those who enjoy a kick-ass Sakura. ~So much shameless advertising~
And please don't forget to drop me some love as well. Please review, alert and fav, because as I always blubber, it makes me one happy camper. Tell me your favorite parts, the parts you didn't like or point out mistakes I made. Your input and ideas are always welcomed and greatly appreciated. Thank you guys!
Much love, Dotti3
P.S.- As if this isn't long enough right? I've been noticing several authors make comments regarding the possible crack down by Fanfiction. I've also noticed many have made back up plans to publish their stories. If anyone knows what this is about, please tell me. Should I be worried as well? Any information is appreciated. Thanks!
