They hit the mother load; they got plenty of food, medicine and they even found some extra curry, which made Lister immensely happy. Aria and Lister were the first to step off of Starbug and onto the landing bay of Red Dwarf. Kryten was the last to come on board.

As soon as Aria got inside, she took out a portable monitor from her pocket and checked the video feed of the medical bay. She didn't trust Cat to do his job, so she brought one with her to watch Rimmer as she went with the others.

"Huh..." she uttered.

"What's wrong, Ari?" Lister asked.

"Rimmer is gone." She tried not to panic. She always kept a calm demeanour, but deep down she was as anxious and neurotic as Rimmer was. "He was there 30 minutes ago." she thought.

Cat screeched and strutted towards them. "Hey hey, buds!" He pointed to Aria with both hands, making finger guns. "Lady bud. What's happening?"

Aria couldn't hold it in anymore, or she'd explode. "He's gone, that's what's happening!" she snapped. "You're supposed to be watching the bloody monitors!" She pulled back her arm to swing a punch but Lister stopped her.

"Calm down." Lister exhorted. He turned to Kryten and asked, "Can you scan for signs of him?"

"I can give it my best." A few bleeps and bloops later, he found that Rimmer was nowhere on the ship.

"Well, he couldn't have just vanished. Scan again. Maybe he's in soft-light mode where you can't read him?" Lister wondered.

"I don't think it works that way, sir."

"Just do it!" Aria demanded. She was becoming hysterical.

He still couldn't find any sign of Rimmer anywhere.

A voice boomed, "Welcome back, lady and gentlemen." It was Rimmer, but his voice sounded different. He almost sounded like he did when he had a holo-virus years ago.

Lister couldn't tell the difference. "See? He's still here."

"But, sir, I scanned twice. He's not on board the ship." Kryten insisted.

"Okay, so we ask him." Lister walked over to the com unit on the wall, and pressed the button to talk with him. "Rimmer, where are ya?"

"Who?" Rimmer asked. It took a moment to register. "Oh, yes. It isn't here." he replied.

They found it odd that Rimmer was referring to himself as "It". The whole situation was odd, but at that point it was just business as usual.

"Then who are we talkin' to?" Cat asked.

"You are speaking with Red Dwarf."

The way he said it made it seem like they should have known who it was.

Aria leant in by Kryten. "How much access does he have of the ship?"

"As much as it pains me to say it, Mr. Rimmer has full access, ma'am." Kryten replied.

"Where are you going with this, Aria?" Lister asked.

She ignored Lister's question. "What about his holographic presence? Can it be transferred?" she asked Kryten.

"I suppose it's possible, but—"

She interrupted, "Where's the projection room?"

"Floor 592, Ms. Harkness."

"Right." She pointed to Kryten. "You're with me. You two go look for him."


Aria bolted into the HP Suite, heading for the controls. She thought that if he could somehow transfer his holographic presence, it could explain at least how he was all of a sudden Red Dwarf. They just needed to reverse it. It turned out that Kryten was right: He was gone. When she looked up Rimmer's hologram files, the screen had big red letters that said, "Offline". If he was still on the ship, he was untraceable.

"Where's Arnold Rimmer?" she asked "Ship Rimmer".

"Gone. Dead." he replied.

"What?" Her voice slightly quavered.

"It was weak. Unwanted. It couldn't bring itself to leave, however, so It melded with me to better itself."

"What the hell is going on?" she wondered aloud. She looked to Kryten. "He can't just... become the ship, can he?"

"I'm not sure." For once he didn't have an answer. "I suppose it wouldn't be unheard of."

She couldn't understand why he chose the ship of all things. More specifically, how did he do it? He was knocked out when they left and with the amount she gave him he should've stayed that way for hours. Plus, he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed; he'd need help doing it. She didn't suspect his I.Q. had spontaneously jumped to 15,000 in the short time they were gone.

"You're better off without It." Ship Rimmer intoned.

"No, I'm not. I need him." she drawled, pleading to have Rimmer back. "He needs help. He's not doing well."

"I know. Its matrix corruption was at 84 percent." Ship Rimmer intoned.

Aria knew he was getting bad, but she didn't think he was that close to the point of no return. Once it'd hit 100 the man they knew as Rimmer would be gone. Her heart was racing just as much as her mind. She tried to think of a way to bring him back. It seemed like there was none to be found.

"You humans are all alike: You tell someone you care about them and then ditch them." Ship Rimmer sneered.

"Is that what this is about?" she asked. "I was coming back!"

"Yes, and you were going to drug me up again, weren't you?" he snipped. Finally it was the real Rimmer speaking to them.

Both she and Kryten gave conflicting answers. She said no while he said yes. She glared at Kryten. Her eyes were wide with anger.

"You're a poor excuse for a human being." He was back to being Ship Rimmer. "I should do you a favour and deprive you of oxygen now." he said to Aria.

"Look, you don't understand. Y—" She stopped before she wrongly addressed him, even though technically it was Rimmer; he actually believed he was a completely different entity. "Rimmer... has a condition. The only way to keep him under control is by drugging him up. If I knew of another way, believe me I'd do it."

"I wish you'd stop." Rimmer quavered. It was their Rimmer talking again. He kept flipping back and forth between personalities. He was going into the final stage of Rampancy. A part of him was still fighting it off, however.

Sadness and guilt washed over her. She felt terrible, but there wasn't much else she could do. She had to keep everyone else safe. There was no time for feeling sorry. They had to get Rimmer back.

She looked to Kryten. "Is there any way we can get him back online?"

"We'd need his light bee in order to do anything." Kryten replied.

She rummaged through the console drawers and in the cabinets looking for it, as if it would be that easy to find.

"Is this what you want for It? Another lifetime of being abused?"

Aria stopped what she was doing. "That is not what I'm doing!"

Kryten placed he hand on her shoulder. "He's trying to get a rise out of you, ma'am. Just go find his light bee."

Aria glowered at the ceiling. Never in her life did she think she'd be pissed off by a space ship. Suddenly, all was silent. All she could hear was herself breathing.

"Rimmer?" she quivered.

There was no response; not even from Ship Rimmer.

She gulped. "Kryten, I'm going to find Lister and Cat. You going to be okay on your own?"

"I'm sure I'll be fine, miss. There's not much he can do to me."

"I wouldn't rule anything out yet..." she said. She grabbed a radio and then left to find the others


She haled Lister and Cat on the radio, finally getting in touch with them. "Where are you?" she asked.

"We're down on G deck. Still no sign of him." Lister replied. "This is really weird. I don't like it."

Out of nowhere she got zapped by the radio. She dropped it. "Is he somehow doing this?" she thought. She looked upwards. "Red? Can I call you that? Because you seem like an Arnold to me." There was still no response. "Fine. Be that way." she muttered.

She continued on, heading for G deck. She hated how massive the ship was. In her opinion, it should've been designed better. Something smaller than the size of a city, at least. Then again the last ship she was on was the size of a police box on the outside, massive inside and had multiple levels.

Finally, she found them, and joined up with them. Overcome with fear, she hugged Lister. She was worried about Rimmer; they all were, even though no one else would admit it.

"I'm glad to see you two." she said.

"Yes, what a happy reunion." Ship Rimmer sneered, slightly disgusted and jealous. "Did you ever once miss It, David Lister?"

"He's gotta be somewhere around here." Cat said.

"I suspect not." Ship Rimmer said, continuing his one sided conversation with Lister. "You never truly cared for It, did you?"

Aria looked perplexed. "But where? According to Kryten, he's not on the ship."

"Then how's he talking to us?" Lister asked, ignoring Rimmer completely.

Ship Rimmer was becoming increasingly cross with them for refusing to acknowledge him. He was lonesome. "Yes, well, while you ponder about what archaic program I may have manipulated to communicate with you, or which system I may have temporarily disabled, taken over, or completely destroyed in the process, I am busy bettering your pathetic lives. You should be thanking me. Nevertheless, I at least find some joy in tormenting It, who seems to be trapped in this inferior example of an existence. It is certainly mindless, though for reasons I've yet to understand, It appears to have an unhealthy preoccupation with the one named Aria."

Finally, they all took notice. Aria's look of confusion switched off in an instant. Her face was blank. She had to wonder what Rimmer was doing to torment himself, and in what way was he bettering their lives. Not to mention he just admitted his feelings for her, in a way. She felt like crying for various reasons.

"557 years," Ship Rimmer boomed. "You all abandoned It for 557 years."

Aria's brow furrowed; she was curious. "What's he talking about?"

He was recalling when he was stuck on "Rimmerworld", a world he created comprised of nothing but himself. They tortured him day in and day out, and incarcerated him when they realised they couldn't damage his light bee.

"How could you do that to me?" he whimpered. It was their Rimmer talking again.

It's not as if they had a choice. Because of the reverse time dilation effect they couldn't get to him any quicker than they did. What was days for them was nearly 600 years for Rimmer. He had resented them for it and always would.

"We didn't do it on purpose, Rimmer." Lister assured him, then thought about it a moment. "Okay, we may have gotten a tad excited to not have ya for a while, but we felt bad after we found you."

"It's true." Cat said. "They did feel bad."

"Guys, you are not helping." Aria chided.

"Aria?" Ship Rimmer called out in a taunting tune.

"What?"

"I've won: There will be no more Sadness. No more Anger. No more Envy." He paused for a moment before continuing on with his next puzzling, terrifying ramble. "Weep not for the inutile being; in my palace deep, It lies asleep."

"What the smeg does that mean?" Lister asked. He never got an answer.

"I'm going to ask one more time: Where is he?!" Aria demanded.

"Oh, this again?" Ship Rimmer incredulously asked. "I am still not sure what he ever saw in you. You are useless: Expendable. Therefore you should be terminated."

A massive bolt of electricity from a nearby comms unit emitted and struck Aria right in her heart, killing her instantly.

Lister rushed to her aid but it was too late. "What is wrong with you?!" he shouted.

Somehow Ship Rimmer could see the look of terror on their faces. "I'm sorry. Am I scaring the children?"

It was obviously a brown trouser moment for them - beyond that, even.

"I think you will find that I don't like being tested," Ship Rimmer stated. "Face it: There is no escaping your fate."

Lister was actually getting scared of Rimmer. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying your poet, Eliot, had it wrong: This is the way your world ends."

Suddenly, the entire ship made the most bizarre, low rumble. Within seconds the power was shut down, as was oxygen, coms and navigation: Everything was off. They couldn't talk to either Rimmer even if they wanted to. They were dead in the water.

"Well, this is fan-smegging-tastic, isn't it?" Lister griped.

Out of nowhere, gasping as air ripped through her lungs, Aria came back. For a moment she was confused as to where she was. It was pitch black. Her voice quavered, "Guys?"

"We're here," Lister replied. It didn't actually register in his mind that what happened to her should have caused her heart to completely stop; there was no coming back from being shocked directly into the heart with a jolt that size. "You alright?" he asked.

She gave an affirming nod. She struggled to stand up. "I think so... What's happened? Why's it dark?"

"Power cut, thanks to Rimmer… The smeghead."

"So, we just need to get the back-up power on." she said.

"I think he's hacked it. It would have kicked on by now." Lister told her.

"Now what?" Cat asked.

Aria knew it was a long shot, but she attempted to communicate with Rimmer: Their Rimmer. If he was able to respond to Lister's query, he obviously could still hear them even without radios. "I know you're in there somewhere. Our Rimmer, the one who despite their apathetic front actually gives a crap about us, wouldn't let this happen." she said. "I don't beg often, because I hate looking petty, but... help us. Please." Nothing happened. She sighed. "It was worth a—"

Just then the ship's power came back on. She smiled, knowing that their Rimmer was still active. They still had the task of finding him, which on this ship would likely take them forever. However, after thinking about the confusing, eerie quote Ship Rimmer said to them about him lying deep somewhere, Lister finally had an inkling as to Rimmer's whereabouts. He took off, and Aria and Cat rushed after him.


The three of them wound up at one of the memorial domes connected at the ship's outer hull. It doubled as an observation deck, which was always where Rimmer would wind up to be alone with his thoughts. Lister's hunch was right: Down the long walkway laid Rimmer, flat down on his abdomen. It was only after Aria's plea that he switched back. He was going to continue being Red Dwarf just to feel more powerful, and nearly godlike as he had more control than ever.

Rimmer seemed nearly lifeless. His energy was draining rapidly; occasionally he flared with streaks of pale blue coloured electricity as his light bee struggled keep the projection on. However dead he already was, Rimmer knew death was coming around again, and the scary thing was he was fine with it; he welcomed The Reaper.

Aria sprinted off towards him. She nearly fell down halfway there. After straightening her direction out, she continued down the walkway, and got down on her knees when she approached him. She could tell he was in a lot of pain. She hurt just looking at him. Her stomach lurched from sympathy.

She was hesitant to touch him. When she did, he quickly sat up and backed away from her. He actually feared her. He began to hyperventilate to the point of nearly passing out. His eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed, but he was still conscious. He was back into the same position they found him in. His entire body trembled.

It was Lister's turn to try and reach him somehow. It seemed as though his mind was gone, but it was worth a try. "Rimmer, you're alright now. You're back." Lister looked up at Aria and asked, "He is, right?"

She didn't know. They really wouldn't know what was going on with Rimmer until he started talking. If he acted like he usually did, then it would be a clear sign that he was back.

Rimmer lifted his head to look at Lister. He slowly said Lister's name. At least Rimmer knew who he was; he wasn't that far gone. He just kept staring at Lister. He couldn't think straight enough to say anything more than a name. Moments passed, and he eventually spoke, barely able to form a full sentence. "I've been meaning to ask… Holly's reason... Keeping you sane... Did I do well by you?"

Part of Lister wanted to say no, but in truth Rimmer was helping. While he was off being Ace, Lister became deeply depressed. Red Dwarf wasn't the same without Rimmer's commanding and whinging about. When he came back Lister paid thanks to a God he didn't even believe in. He actually hugged Rimmer for the first time and meant it. In truth Lister would be lying if he said no.

Lister hesitated to smile. "Yeah." he nodded. "Yeah, you did."

Even though deep down Rimmer knew Lister was just saying it to make him feel better, he gradually smiled as he struggled to stay awake. "Good." he sighed. "Listy, I'm sorry... I'm not..." Rimmer started to drift away.

A few tears began to form in Listers eyes. If he didn't know better, he'd swear Rimmer was saying his final goodbye. "Rimmer, stay with me." he quavered. Lister became scared; Rimmer was awfully still. He started to panic. "Don't do this to me now."

"Lister, he's okay." Aria assured him. "Look, he's still here, isn't he?"

She was right: If he did die, his body would've disappeared, leaving only his light bee behind.

Lister nodded. "Yeah... Okay.." he intoned.

"You don't sound so sure." she said.

"I am. I'm just—" Lister stopped.

Aria waited intently for him to finish what he was going to say.

Eventually he said something but it wasn't his original thought. "Let's get him inside."


After they got Rimmer back inside, Kryten thought it would be a good idea if he ran some tests to make sure he wasn't still possessed by whatever demon had a crippling hold on him. Aria decided to stay in her quarters. She couldn't be near him after what he did, and she didn't want to make matters worse. The less she was around him, the better.

Luckily Rimmer narrowly escaped his demise. Kryten made a few minor repairs that would at least temporarily halt his Rampancy. He'd be fine until he saw Aria again, and given his attachment to her he would undoubtedly see her again.

For now Rimmer seemed to be back to normal, or what was considered as normal for him. He was more annoyed with Kryten and his mundane questions than anything else. He was testing to make sure he still had his memory.

"Kryten, you already know my name." Rimmer snipped.

"Yes, but do you know it, sir?" Kryten asked.

"Of course I know it, you stupid goit!" When Kryten didn't continue on with another question, and didn't let him leave, Rimmer realised he absolutely had to answer. He sighed and extensively rolled his eyes. "Arnold Judas Rimmer. Are you happy now?"

"Very good, sir." he said in a patronising tone, to which Rimmer scrunched his face and frowned at. "Now what's my name?" Kryten asked.

Rimmer looked at him a moment before he answered with, "Bog Bot from Hell?" Kryten shot him a blank stare that begged him to be serious. He caved and said, "Your name is Kryten. Kryten 2-X-4-B 5-2-3-P, if we're being pedantic."

Kryten turned to face the window, where Cat and Lister were seen standing outside. "Snivelling, whining and utterly sarcastic: I think he's back to normal, sirs." He then told Rimmer, "You are free to go, Mr. Rimmer."

"Finally!" he drawled. "This... thing isn't going to happen again, is it?"

"I don't think so, sir. But just to be sure, I'm having Lister keep an eye on you for 24 hours." Kryten replied.

Both Rimmer and Lister shouted, "What?!"

"No smegging way am I babysitting him!" Lister exclaimed.

Rimmer turned back to look at Lister. "Why not? I'm a hoot!"

There was no question in anyone's mind that Rimmer wasn't joking: He did truly think he was fun to be with, even if people told him otherwise.

"Yeah, right. A hoot." Lister muttered. "Rimmer, I swear, if you tell me the rest of the Risk story, I'll have to shoot meself in the face just to keep from having too much fun." he retorted.

"Well, Aria liked that story." Rimmer said.

Lister lightly smacked Cat's shoulder with the back of his hand. "See, I knew something was wrong with her. No one can be in love with someone like that and not be insane."

At first Rimmer scoffed but then it sunk in as to what he just admitted. "She's in love with me?"

Lister's eyes widened, knowing full well that he, as he would put it, smegged up. "N- no. I was talking about..." He thought of a way out of his predicament. He snapped his fingers and pointed in the direction of Kryten. "Him! I was talking about him!"

Even though Kryten knew he was lying through his teeth, he still felt insulted. "Sir!" Kryten exclaimed.

"Lister, I'm not stupid." Rimmer snipped.

"That's debatable." Cat muttered.

Rimmer was still able to hear his remark. "You're on report for that!" he snapped.

The Cat couldn't care less.

"Where is she?" Rimmer asked.

"In her quarters, sir, but I don't think—"

Kryten got interrupted by Rimmer zipping out of the room to go see her.


Rimmer was about to knock on her door but it was already open. He saw her sitting on the edge of her bunk, looking completely disconnected from reality. As he looked at her he forgot what he was originally going to say it her.

Instead he asked, "Are you okay?"

She perked up her head and stared at him a moment. She didn't know how much Kryten told him, but if Rimmer knew he killed her, he probably would loathe himself, even more than he already did. At the time he didn't seem very self loathing, so maybe he didn't know. She still couldn't tell him; even if she did she wouldn't begin to know how to tell him she suddenly sprang back to life.

Eventually she replied, "Yeah. I'm fine." She sounded like she was reciting a line. She was anything but fine. After what they've all been through, how could she be?

He awkwardly smiled at her. Finally, he remembered what he was going to say earlier. "I... heard some bit of news just a moment ago, and..." He stopped to think, "What if this was a cruel prank, and she doesn't actually love me? I'd look like a complete idiot then."

Aria waited for him to go on, but a good 12 seconds passed and he hadn't spoke. "And what?" she asked.

He thought that maybe it wasn't the best time to say it, much less how he heard it from the "grunt vine", so he lied. "I think you'll be happy to hear that I'm feeling much better."

"That is good news." she said. "Although, I feel like Lister or Kryten could've told me that. You should be resting."

"I just wanted to personally tell you. That and... I..." His mouth nearly emitted the L word, but his brain said it wasn't going to happen.

He bit back what he was going to tell her. He felt like was about the size of an ant, and his nerves were the big boot that was crushing him. "You're right: Rest does sound good right about now. I should go."

He cleared his throat, and was half out of the door way when Aria stopped him. He wheeled around to face her.

Like Rimmer, Aria couldn't say that particular word either, no matter how badly she wanted to. It wasn't in her vocabulary, and usually when she did say it, it was because she was blasted drunk. So the only thing she could say was, "You're a moron." Though she said it with great affection and a chortle.

Of course to him, that didn't come off as anything other than an insult. "Excuse me?!" he incredulously asked, peeved by her remark.

"Never mind." she chortled. "Just go before I make an even bigger arse of myself."

Rimmer turned to leave but he quickly came around once again, about to add something. Mainly to have the last word.

She cut him off before he could speak. "Let me guess: I'm on report for insulting an 'officer'?" she wondered.

He didn't hesitate to respond at all. He pointed a finger at her. "Exactly." He then left the room.

Aria chuckled as she shook her head. She closed the door after he was gone. She did love him; probably too much. It was scaring her. She had never loved anyone, ever. Never kissed anyone, never had sex: She had spent most of her adult life as a virgin. The prospect that any of it might happen with Rimmer terrified her. She didn't want to break his heart, ruining the bond they had already. That and apart from halting, possibly reversing his condition was enough of a reason to leave. Running from her feelings was definitely cowardly at best, but she would do anything just to keep from causing permanent damage to Rimmer.